What does your partner think?

muffin top

What does your live-in partner (husband, girlfriend, significant other etc) think to your obsession with cycling?

Mildly indulgent?
Violently opposed?
Enthusiastic supporter?

In my case, I'd say: tolerated - just. As long as I take my share of household and family duties (ok) and I'm prepared to jump straight back into family life on my return - however knackered and dirty I may be (tough sometimes). Big days, like a sportive, have to be booked well in advance, put on the kitchen calendar, frequently referred to, and defended against attacks (e.g. "but it's xyz's bbq, you have to come".)

How do you lot get on?

Slow Downcp

I met my wife at the bike club, so she understands (although she doesn't cycle regularly now). She even buys me nice cycle stuff for Xmas and birthdays, and encourages me to buy stuff if I'm uncertain.

Maybe she just wants me out of the house :shock:

APIII

Well, it will probably come as no surprise to those of you who are married, that my wife's attitude to my cycling swings from positive encouragement (buying cycling related xmas presents, agreeing to holiday in France 2 years running oddly close to some of the major cols) to outright opposition (I'm not standing in the cold to watch you, all that cycling can't be doing your balls any good :shock: ). At the moment, it's hovering around resigned acceptance (you'll not be coming shopping as you'll be out on your bike I expect). Even the constant stream of parcels being delivered to the house no longer raise much criticism. "£200 is a lot for a jacket" was the only retort I got this week. I'd been prepared for an uncomfortable evening of silent treatment!

Mister W

She wishes she could ride faster so she could train with me... TBH I would love her to ride with me, and we do ride together on occasions, but I'm significantly faster and stronger so she's dying on the hills while I'm not getting a decent ride. Yes, we have tried a Tandem but she wasn't confident to Captain and is too much of a control freak to Stoke

LangerDan

Very tolerant, though the level of expenditure has caused more than a few raised eyebrows. Years past, I'd justify new bikes, wheels, whatever by pointing out "Wouldn't it be far worse if I was spending my money down the pub 3 nights a week?"

Two weeks ago, as I arrived in with the latest cardboard box full of mail-order goodies, she just looked at me and commented "I think it might actually be cheaper if you were a raving alcoholic"

Barkiesnake

muffin top wrote:

What does your live-in partner (husband, girlfriend, significant other etc) think to your obsession with cycling?

Mildly indulgent?
Violently opposed?
Enthusiastic supporter?

In my case, I'd say: tolerated - just. As long as I take my share of household and family duties (ok) and I'm prepared to jump straight back into family life on my return - however knackered and dirty I may be (tough sometimes). Big days, like a sportive, have to be booked well in advance, put on the kitchen calendar, frequently referred to, and defended against attacks (e.g. "but it's xyz's bbq, you have to come".)

+1 My wife never learnt to ride a bike so has no idea how addictive it is, i have tried to encourage her to get on and try again but she is no go. She has however appreciated my loss of 4 stone over the past year and does try to be encouraging.

Barkiesnake

EDIT sorry double posted

pneumatic

The attitude is, naturally, inconsistent and tactical.

Some days:

Heartily supportive, agrees that a fit husband is a better husband and that a man needs a bit of time on his own to sort out the mess in his head.

Other days:

Tactically supportive, the more time he spends out on his bike, the less time he spends doing housework, looking after the minor pneumatics and talking (sorry, listening) to me. consequently, as a result of his selfish obsession with bicycles, HE OWES ME BIG TIME! Cue brochures for girly weekends away to expensive hotels.

Some other days:

Don't even think about it, or its D.I.V.O.R.C.E! You have to stay at home and help me decide what colour the new [insert horribly expensive thing that we don't need] should be.

Before I put on the lycras, I always check the weather (and I'm not talking sun, wind and rain here!)

keef66

Depends on her mood I think:

Enthusiastic support / encouragement if she thinks she can use it as a negotiating tactic. She used to question the wisdom of my night time cycling till I accidentally blinded her with the Fenix L2D, now I think she's happy to get rid of me so she can watch what she wants on the telly without me interrupting or farting. Anyway, I'm worth more dead with my Death in Service Benefit and the life cover on the mortgage :shock:

She and the offspring frequently indulge in shameless pi55-taking, especially when I'm in full winter regalia

Sometimes suspicious about my annual expenditure on cycling stuff, especially if there's been a flurry of separate deliveries (I have everything sent to work now). I wouldn't mind, but most of it is stuff to mend the kids' bikes!

Resignation that when she asks what I want for Christmas I'll be directing her to a website selling some oddly shaped lycra garment or a tool with an obscure and possibly hazardous function.

fungus_the_muffin_man

my fiance goes from totally ok with it to sometimes a tad resentful. But on the whole she knows how much I love doing it and I don't stop her from doing things she wants to do. So it's not to bad.
When getting my last bike she even came to epic cycles with me to help me choose lol. Her answer to the dearer bike was well it'll be worth it in the long run so get it if its the one you really want.

APIII

Fungus The Muffin Man wrote:

my fiance goes from totally ok with it to sometimes a tad resentful. But on the whole she knows how much I love doing it and I don't stop her from doing things she wants to do. So it's not to bad.
When getting my last bike she even came to epic cycles with me to help me choose lol. Her answer to the dearer bike was well it'll be worth it in the long run so get it if its the one you really want.

That reminds me of the time I bought my first decent roadbike. I had only just started going out with my wife-to-be, and she came along to the shop when I ordered it. I was hesitating over which groupset to get, and she told me 'well, if you're spending that much on a bike, what's a few extra quid'! So, Record it was then. If she knew that cycling was an ongoing expense, not just an initial outlay, she may have advised differently.

CHRISNOIR

I think the only phrase I could use to describe the look my girlfriend gives me when I return from a ride is 'adoring bafflement'. She kinda likes the fact that I go cycling but she has absolutely no idea why I'd go cycling.

I can see her point; when you think about it it is quite irrational to go seeking out big hills and putting yourself through hell to get the top as fast as you can while wearing tight, lurid clothing and straddling a collection of aluminium and carbon fibre tubes.

zedders

Misses Z started off all cool, and said it's a fad and it won't last. She never batted a eyelid and then I started going out al l the time. 2 and a half years later she moaned - You don't pay me any attention! That dam website. That dam magazine. Can you come out of the garage please! blah blah blah.

I fed the line, you don't want a fat bloke? I need to keep in shape. And now a little one is only days away, I feed the line, it won't want a fat daddy!

She is beaten. Even the mention of £500+ deep section wheels and alike get no reaction. . Anyone suffering out there. Just keep at it. She / he will give in when they realise your not going to stop cycling.

Now bless her she just says - be careful out there.

mingmong

Depends if she's just bought something or she is going to some function/concert/play etc. This iIS the best time to drop in conversation that you've bought something expensive or are going out for a day's ride.

I'm up very early at the w/e's so I can get a good ride in, yet be free for family time.

The current bone of contention is the start up of the Wednesday late night ride. I'm still in DH on this one. (Daren't tell her that I've just bought some expensive Lumens :!: )

My 'in moderation' is way out of tune it seems.

hammerite

The OH loves cycling herself. Although she has become a bit nervous after a recent clipless incident. She likes watching big races on TV too, not so keen on smaller races where she's unlikely to recognise any of the teams or names.

When I got my most recent bike it was actually her saying "if you like it, and can afford it get it. It's not like it won't last you or got to waste" that made me decide to get it.

The one thing we do clash over is getting out on our bikes, usually one of us has to stay to look after Jnr, that tends to be her because I plan things better and am a bit more dedicated. She also moans that I get to go out more often, but then I don't bring work home very often and she does. When Jnr is at his Dad's we sometimes ride together, but we both get frustrated, one that I'm not riding very hard, and her because she thinks I'm taking the p!ss when I try to give her advice!

The last time we went out together I got called all the names under the sun because I took her up a reasonably tough hill that she had to walk up. The fact was I'd not ridden it myself for a while and had forgotten how tough it actually was!

pdstsp

Underwhelmed

andy162

Opposed...landing myself in Hospital in the summer didn't help the cause. If the frame wasn't totalled I reckon she would've hacksawed it through.

Truth be told if I joined the local Church Choir I'm certain she would find summat to moan about....

Tonymufc

She's very understanding, especially as she gets the car as I commute to work on the bike. Though I do sometimes get the old " you'd rather be on your bike than with me". To which I answer "you're not wrong luv". I'm only joking of course.

pedylan

CHRISNOIR wrote:

I can see her point; when you think about it it is quite irrational to go seeking out big hills and putting yourself through hell to get the top as fast as you can while wearing tight, lurid clothing and straddling a collection of aluminium and carbon fibre tubes.

That's just the incisive clarity and accuracy of description that includes everything the non cycling partner is thinking but nothing of why we do it.

Ands

He feels aggrieved...because now that I'm back on the road, the "bike bits fund" has to be split two ways

He gets cross...because I get to the post first and open his Pro Cycling (or not tell him for 3 days that it arrived)

He acts smug....when I come back late from a ride and I get the "one rule for you..." stuff!

wiffachip

in the last three years the missus has bought me three bikes, the latest being a tasty lappierre s-lite just picked up this very afternoon. So I think it's fair to say she's not got a problem with it. I think she just prefers it when I'm not in the house. I could be offended, but I put up with it.

Not Another Hill

Obsessional, bordering on the Autistic spectrum.

geoff_ss

My wife is at least as enthusiastic as I am - perhaps more. She was the one who persuaded me that we should lash out over £2500 for a new tandem a few weeks ago. She rides 200km Audaxes that I find impossible these days because of extreme shoulder/neck pain. Not bad for a 69 year old of either gender.

She doesn't even mind the money I spend on toy aeroplanes which can cost even more than bicycles. Especially when I dumb thumb and end up with a heap of balsa in a bin liner


Geoff

Fat Head

wiffachip wrote:

in the last three years the missus has bought me three bikes, the latest being a tasty lappierre s-lite just picked up this very afternoon. So I think it's fair to say she's not got a problem with it. I think she just prefers it when I'm not in the house. I could be offended, but I put up with it.

If you ever decide to sell her in the classifieds section let me know

wiffachip

Fat Head wrote:

wiffachip wrote:

in the last three years the missus has bought me three bikes, the latest being a tasty lappierre s-lite just picked up this very afternoon. So I think it's fair to say she's not got a problem with it. I think she just prefers it when I'm not in the house. I could be offended, but I put up with it.

If you ever decide to sell her in the classifieds section let me know

she did leave me in the lurch a few weeks ago, went in for a heart operation without showing me how to use the washing machine. Got the hang of it eventually with a bit of trial and error. Couldn't work out why the clothes were coming out hot but hacky. Had put it on the drier setting. Doh. She's got a mountain of ironing to do though when she's back on her feet.

lfcquin

My missus and I fight about bikes all the time! She keeps telling me to buy another one and I keep telling her I can't afford it! :shock:

Honestly though, she never has any problem with me going out on the bike or buying kit. Last week she was even my mechanic at a cross race, cleaning my bike every few laps Not sure how it will be once the kids come along though....

crymble

She doesn't understand why I do things that make me hurt later (but she likes the results.)

A couple of nights ago she said "so this is what it would be like to be a lesbian" as it was me that was shaving my legs and complaining about my weight!

K

tri-sexual

very encourageing and pesters me to ride constantly
cant understand why the milk man is round everyday to collect money though - especially since we buy our milk from tescos
i think shes concerned about my diet and wants to make sure that i a have enough calcium in my diet
i am so lucky

shockedsoshocked

Not Another Hill wrote:

Obsessional, bordering on the Autistic spectrum.

Probably the same for me.

She doesn't doesn't understand why you can't ride on a dirty bike either. IT MUST BE GLEAMING AT ALL TIMES!

markos1963

As long as I don't bring dirty bikes through the house, She who must be obeyed, is pretty good about the bikes. She does like helping me pick clothing and pursueded me to buy a more expensive bike from a LBS rather than online.