1 gay man, 2 lesbians and a 3-legged cat
Le Commentateur
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That's quality. But I'm disappointed that they couldn't find any way of linking it to their other favourite issues. With a bit of work, they could have described the gay man as an asylum seeker, looked at the damage this spat is doing to house prices in the area, and started a scare that all our food is contaminated with slug pellets giving us cancer, as part of an evil terrorist plot. Then next week, they could run a front page splash claiming that slug pellets actually cure cancer, and that immigrants have found out somehow and are selfishly stockpiling all our slug pellets for themselves.
(Actually, knowing what I do about the Daily Heil's obsessions and methods, I wouldn't be confident that a single element of the story has any basis in reality, but it's still funny.)N00b commuter with delusions of competence
FCN 11 - If you scalp me, do I not bleed?0 -
I think the same story was on the BBC website, so there may be some truth in it. :shock:0
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Where's the link to the Diana conspiracy?0
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Le Commentateur wrote:
I should've known it would involve the Daily Blackmail. As soon as I saw the thread title I had visions of something that would have Richard Littlebrain frothing at the mouth like a badly-poured can of Guinness.
David"It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal0 -
Spiny_Norman wrote: That's quality. But I'm disappointed that they couldn't find any way of linking it to their other favourite issues. With a bit of work, they could have described the gay man as an asylum seeker, looked at the damage this spat is doing to house prices in the area, and started a scare that all our food is contaminated with slug pellets giving us cancer, as part of an evil terrorist plot. Then next week, they could run a front page splash claiming that slug pellets actually cure cancer, and that immigrants have found out somehow and are selfishly stockpiling all our slug pellets for themselves.
(Actually, knowing what I do about the Daily Heil's obsessions and methods, I wouldn't be confident that a single element of the story has any basis in reality, but it's still funny.)
Plus they should somehow ultimately blame Gordon Brown for creating the social/economic conditions that led to this outrage.
p.s. from looking at that photo, would I be right in asuming the gay man's garden is the one on the left? Something about the OTT aspirations for what is actually a tiny plot, it reminded me of that character from Crapston Villas, who had pretentious faux-Greek classical sculptures hiding the economy 7 radiators.0 -
Spiny_Norman wrote: That's quality. But I'm disappointed that they couldn't find any way of linking it to their other favourite issues. With a bit of work, they could have described the gay man as an asylum seeker, looked at the damage this spat is doing to house prices in the area, and started a scare that all our food is contaminated with slug pellets giving us cancer, as part of an evil terrorist plot. Then next week, they could run a front page splash claiming that slug pellets actually cure cancer, and that immigrants have found out somehow and are selfishly stockpiling all our slug pellets for themselves.
Don't forget the obligatory reference to The Bin Police, another of the DM's obsessions (with little if any basis in reality, but since when did tabloid papers give a monkey's about reality, unless it's followed by the abbreviation TV?). Oh, and there's always "EU Bureaucrats Try To Ban Our Slug Pellets", along the lines of recent Mail/Express bleatings about light bulbs.
David"It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal0 -
Cressers wrote:Where's the link to the Diana conspiracy?
Try the online database for any Diana conspiracy theory you care to mention;
http://www.express.co.uk
David"It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal0 -
This story reminds me of this -
Why do women have legs?
So they don't leave a mess like slugs.
Have they messed up their facts? It was the lesbian that didn't have a full leg quota, not the cat, hence sly the use of slug pellets."There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."0 -
DavidBelcher wrote:Cressers wrote:Where's the link to the Diana conspiracy?
Try the online database for any Diana conspiracy theory you care to mention;
http://www.express.co.uk
David
You don't think she's dead, do you? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."0 -
He must have had a bit of a brainwave from this incident a couple of years ago. If your missus, offers to make you your favourite curry...be afraid!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/gla ... 612529.stm0 -
Maybe. Blaming the EU's probably a safer bet, as Paul Dacre's quite chummy with Gordon, IIRC. The Express has the monopoly on Diana/McCann conspiracies, but maybe it could be linked to MMR in some way.Le Commentateur wrote:Spiny_Norman wrote: That's quality. But I'm disappointed that they couldn't find any way of linking it to their other favourite issues. With a bit of work, they could have described the gay man as an asylum seeker, looked at the damage this spat is doing to house prices in the area, and started a scare that all our food is contaminated with slug pellets giving us cancer, as part of an evil terrorist plot. Then next week, they could run a front page splash claiming that slug pellets actually cure cancer, and that immigrants have found out somehow and are selfishly stockpiling all our slug pellets for themselves.
(Actually, knowing what I do about the Daily Heil's obsessions and methods, I wouldn't be confident that a single element of the story has any basis in reality, but it's still funny.)
Plus they should somehow ultimately blame Gordon Brown for creating the social/economic conditions that led to this outrage.
I'd go with that. There's nothing but an untidy bush outside the house on the right - that has to be the lesbians, doesn't it?Le Commentateur wrote:p.s. from looking at that photo, would I be right in asuming the gay man's garden is the one on the left?N00b commuter with delusions of competence
FCN 11 - If you scalp me, do I not bleed?0 -
Spiny_Norman wrote:There's nothing but an untidy bush outside the house on the right - that has to be the lesbians, doesn't it?
Oo-er, missus! :oops:
David"It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal0 -
Or a lycra clad gay asylum seeker cyclistSpiny_Norman wrote::With a bit of work, they could have described the gay man as an asylum seeker 0 -
on the road wrote:
Or a lycra clad gay asylum seeker cyclistSpiny_Norman wrote::With a bit of work, they could have described the gay man as an asylum seeker
Cue vitriolic remarks about Spiderman outfits, etc. from hygenically-challenged also-ran TV cooks (Surely "TV c**ks"? Ed.)....
David"It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal0
