Christmas carol by Monday!

muffin top

Help!

My daughter's (Y7) homework is to write a Christmas carol. I guess it's actually more of a Christmas poem as she doesn't have to set it to music.

She's turned to me for help, so I've turned to you. Who better than a bunch of cycling nuts to provide inspiration?

I, and you, can't write the whole thing - that'd be cheating. But any helpful suggestions, rhyming couplets, etc. would be greatfully received.

MT

ps. keeping it clean would be useful!

finchy

What about:

It's Christmas time,
A consumerist crime,
And we're all going to die.
8)

skyd0g

shops full of tinsel and Christmas fayre
it's a bit bl**dy early it's October

muffin top

Very good, I like it!

Insubmissable for Y7, but funny nonetheless .... :P

My best effort so far:

A carol by Monday he said,
The winner gets a prize,
Father Chirstmas is on his sled,
£25 buys lots of mince pies

whyamihere

Look up the lyrics to C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S by The Yobs.

Note: It's rather rude.

pottssteve

To the tune of "Mistletoe and Wine" by Sir Cliff:

Christmas time,
Too much cake and wine,
Sh*te on TV
All the time

Your wallet is empty
And the weather is drear
Thank the Lord it's only
One day a year...


Or is this not cynical enough for Year 7?

pottssteve

My old Grandad used to sing this one, if you fancy a music hall stylee:

While shepherds washed their socks by night
All seated on the ground
The Angel of the Lord came down
And passed the fags around....


To the tune of Do they Know it's Christmas? by Saint Bob Geldof and the Angel Midge Ure:

It's Christmas time,
Sorry, it's come 'round again.
At Christmas time,
The wife and kids are a fu**ing pain
Your bank account, is empty,
Your Mum-in-Law is here, and boy!
You can't wait for January, to come again....


Or,

Si-ilent night,
Ye-ah, right!
Full of ale,
Now let's fight.
Long-forgotten feuds relived,
Presents, punches, we were gived,
Christ, it's Morcambe and Wi-ise!
Pass us the Tescos mince pies..

Anonymous

Christmas is twinkly,
Christmas is nice,
Give lots of pressies,
Eat lots of mince pies.

Santa down the chimmney,
Rudolph on the roof,
Careful red nosed reindeer,
Don't make the pet dog woof.

I am wasted on here, I'm off for a job at Clintons.........

Cressers

Tem Lehrer to the rescue...

One very familiar type of song is the christmas carol. although it is perhaps a bit out of season at this time. however, I'm informed by my "disk jockey" friends - of whom I have none,
In order to get a song popular by christmas time, you have to start plugging it well in advance. so here goes. it has always seemed to me after all. that christmas, with it's spirit of giving,
Us all a wonderful opportunity each year to reflect on what we all most sincerely and deeply believe in.

I refer of course, to money. and yet none of the christmas carols that you hear on the radio or in the street, even attempt to capture the true spirit of christmas as we celebrate it in the unit
Ates. that is to say the commercial spirit. so I should like to offer the following christmas carol for next year, as being perhaps a bit more appropriate.

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly,
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say "when."
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the dickens,
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On christmas day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore,
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expense'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
"just the thing I need! how nice!"
It doesn't matter how sincere it
Is, nor how heartfelt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.

Hark the herald tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry, merchants,
May you make the yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and buy!

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend kris kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.

Actually I did rather well myself, this last christmas. the nicest present I received was a gift certificate "good at any hospital for a lobotomy". rather thoughtful.

pottssteve

A few years back I was in Singapore just before Christmas. There was a huge sign in a store window which said, "Remember, Christmas is a time for shopping"...