Funniest MTB related thing you've seen

chrisga

As the title says really, what is the funniest MTB related thing you have seen (excluding the obvious crashes etc).
I'll start:

My other half was reading her book at Coed-Y-Brenin after doing MBR on Saturday while we went up to do another couple of sections. She said a group of guys were getting ready to set off and one complained of squeaking discs. So he set about lubing them to stop the squeak. She was trying hard not to laugh and could see all the other guys with him nudging each other. They didnt tell him, and they all set off down badgers soon after. Didnt see an air ambulance so he must have been ok.

Ok its probably not the funniest, maybe the dumbest though......

Beardface

One that springs to mind is my mate - almost every time we get to a particular run (Yoghurt Pots, Surrey Hills), his bike gives up and breaks somehow.. so far, since June, he's had 3 punctures, 1 broken seat clamp, broken chain and his rear brake broken.. lol, only funny as it's pretty much in the exact place every time.. he gets a case of paranoia evey time we approach that run now!

Not so funny as we're miles from home when this happens.. everything was fixable (except the seat clamp.. and he did the trails with only his front brake)

On another note, not bike related, I saw the worst ever ladyboy outside Guildford Station yesterday.. went a bit like this: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

.blitz

It wasn't funny at the time but I once passed a group of allthegearnoidea weekend warriors on a twisty bit of singletrack. When we came to a wider section, I looked back to see how far behind they were (with one hand on the bars all casual like) misjudged a corner and promptly low-sided into the undergrowth :oops:

They all came rolling past and just...looked :shock: :roll:

joshtp

A guy on a santa cruz superlight collapsed in a pool of sweat 50m into whites level climb, within sight of the motobike gate, he was swearing softly and moaning about the ow hard the climb was, i just muttered something of aggreement, and rode on, he shouted back, "how much longer does it go on for?" i replied "oh, only about 6k" he almost fainted!

P-Jay

Hmmm well at my expense:

woke up one rainy autum morning in a FOWL mood, thoughts balls to it, I'm going riding on my own. AND I'm doing the wall at Afan as all my mates hate it and never agree to it

So I strapped my iPod on and set off in the pouring rain, but just started loving it. Climbed to the top, stuck the sear down and just exploded down banging away with the tunes. Came across a long stream of riders, maybe 20-30 of them, they all seemed to be togeather anyway but strung out over a K or two.

Passed one group with a friendly "thanks" then another, and another till I came too the leader who was in fairness the only non-noon in the pack. Came flying up behind him and instead of pulling over, he kicked! The race was on! After a couple of bends and jumps my local knowledge and bigger bike won out and he pulled over, we said a few thanks and gave each other props and I fired off with him not far behind.

Two bends later.... It's a almost 90 degree righthander looks as if, if you overshoot you're going off a cliff. Thankfully you're not, ha ha straight off the end and down the bank sliding on my face. Climbed back up dragging my bike just in time to see him arrived and nearly follow me off laughing.

joshtp

P-Jay wrote:

Hmmm well at my expense:

woke up one rainy autum morning in a FOWL mood, thoughts balls to it, I'm going riding on my own. AND I'm doing the wall at Afan as all my mates hate it and never agree to it

So I strapped my iPod on and set off in the pouring rain, but just started loving it. Climbed to the top, stuck the sear down and just exploded down banging away with the tunes. Came across a long stream of riders, maybe 20-30 of them, they all seemed to be togeather anyway but strung out over a K or two.

Passed one group with a friendly "thanks" then another, and another till I came too the leader who was in fairness the only non-noon in the pack. Came flying up behind him and instead of pulling over, he kicked! The race was on! After a couple of bends and jumps my local knowledge and bigger bike won out and he pulled over, we said a few thanks and gave each other props and I fired off with him not far behind.

Two bends later.... It's a almost 90 degree righthander looks as if, if you overshoot you're going off a cliff. Thankfully you're not, ha ha straight off the end and down the bank sliding on my face. Climbed back up dragging my bike just in time to see him arrived and nearly follow me off laughing.

ooooh, i can imagine it, feelin your pain brother. gotta be on eof the worst things. one i eas passed by a bunch of guyes on a climb, powering off, halfway up wee found them colapsed in a heap. we rode buy wistling softly.

fitch28

I was at the end of a section at kirroughtree last weekend waiting on the rest of our group and was going into great detail about how i nearly had an off on the way down. i promptly toppled sideways and fell into a ditch (mind i was just standing still at the time over my bike!).

OH nearly died laughing :oops: :oops: :oops:

ride_whenever

Stav83 wrote:

One that springs to mind is my mate - almost every time we get to a particular run (Yoghurt Pots, Surrey Hills), his bike gives up and breaks somehow.. so far, since June, he's had 3 punctures, 1 broken seat clamp, broken chain and his rear brake broken.. lol, only funny as it's pretty much in the exact place every time.. he gets a case of paranoia evey time we approach that run now!

Not so funny as we're miles from home when this happens.. everything was fixable (except the seat clamp.. and he did the trails with only his front brake)

My housemate is the same, he's broken:

RST forks (oh noes, he had to buy some toras!)
Rear wheel bearings
xt freehub
cable disc brakes
bent handlebars
pedal
chain....


it's getting a bit tedious walking back from the trails :roll:

wordnumb

The funniest mtb related thing I've seen was posted here a while back. Someone linked to a crappy Argos bike that was listed on ebay as a Specialized S-Works jobbie.

snotty badger

Years and years ago, before everyone wore helmets for riding, a riding mate was messing about with a rock.
It was about the size of a rugby ball and he lifted it up above his head and made caveman noises.
It then slipped out of his hand, and bashed him on his his noggin'!

He responds with "you f**ker- I need to get me a helmet!?!"

Daft twat


More recently I was doing the Borrowdale Bash. We stopped for a breather and a few dozen fell runners went by, mostly the usual, older more weathered variety, except for one- she was rather pleasing to the eye.

Anyways we set off a few minutes later and proceded to dodge out way round the runners. Eventually I caught upto the hotty, passed her then had to hop one of the rather large rain bars, which I cleared easily.
Unfortunatly being a tad distracted I didn't look far enough a head and ran into a large boulder and stopped dead- wacking my groin on my saddle. Ouch. At this point I thought- 'Can't show pain-must.... carry.... on.....'

I felt like a right numpty :oops:

fletch8928

many years ago a group of us were having a lazy saturday ride doing a new to us route and we happened to be in a field full of cows. not really funny except 1 was a little nervous of them. The cows doing what they do kinda mooed there way over to us, the mate just took off over the long grassed bumpy cow patted field like an idiot, a few of the cows put on a chase much to our delight. He bounced and bobbed to within 25ft of a wall, dropped his bike, legged it the rest of the way and vaulted the wall.

It was such a shame it was into a empty field but the sight of him riding away was pure comedy. This was in the days that Kona's P2 fork was considered exotic, which made him look like a rag doll going over the bumps and ruts with the chase herd actually catching him.

rhyko7

this was funny for everyone but me(rather embarrassing)

ripping the rear of my shorts wide open on the 1st climb at afan whilst wearing my favorite disney boxer shorts :oops:

llamafarmer

The first time I rode Afan with a group from my local club, we had one guy out with us whose bike was having an absolute mare. He kept on breaking links in his chain, but fortunately loads of people were carrying powerlinks - by the end I'm pretty sure he had 9 of them in his chain Then he rips a tyre wall open, so I gave him a tyre boot to fix that up. Finally his brake pads give up and (how lucky is he getting now?) somebody had spares.

The comment that creased me up was as we were all sat around watching/assisting with a repair, somebody says "Are you riding this for a bet?"

yoohoo999

mine was quite recent actually.

i had just fitted new gear cables to my FR bike and wanted to take it for a spin on a lovely sunday morning to make sure it was indexed properly.

my girlfriend agreed to come along (we would just be cruising around the paths of Roundhay Park) if we could stop for breakfast at a restaurant on the otherside of the park.

her old bike was in storage so I spent a few minutes putting the wheels on and straightening the bars up.

we set off at a very sedate pace while i played around with the adjuster barrels on my shifters.

my girlfriend is very timid on a bike (not into it at all really) but all of a sudden she came screaming past me at warp speed on the way down a steep hill that leads into the park.

somehow she managed to negotiate the 1 meter wide opening in the gate at about 20mph and then slowly came to a stop as the path started creeping upwards again.

She dumped the bike, ran over to me and smacked me straight in the head! :shock:

Apparently, after I had put her wheels on, I had forgot to clip the cantilever brakes back into position :oops:

Needless to say, she hasn't been on her bike since!

llamafarmer

Oh and Afan again: A group of us were riding Penhydd when we caught up to a HUGE group at the end of a singletrack section, turns out it was a stag weekend and the stag has been made to wear a pink ballerina's outfit over his riding kit

The next time we took a breather was at the end of that rocky descent down the the little river crossing. We're sat watching as the stag chases 2 of his mates down towards the river and, just as he goes to pass one of them, they all spot the water and hit the brakes. The ballerina has to take a bit of evasive to avoid a crash, only to go straight over the bars and into the water. He was unscathed, everyone laughed.

CycloRos

Funniest thing I've seen is myself in the mirror in full gear post ride, it's hilarious! filthy, sweaty, smelly, shaking like a sh*tting dog, dude pushing 30!

wordnumb

Continuing the Afan theme, myself and a group of riders were camped at Glyngorrwg, having a beer, just finished a second run of White's, late afternoon. One of the guys had already lifted and locked his bike onto his roof mounted bike rack.

So we're drinking and eating and there's music playing, everything's good in that relaxing post-ride way. Suddenly something cracks against the roof of the car. We all jump to the conclusion that somebody threw something at us. All immediately stand and start looking for the culpret.

30 seconds later there's another thud on the roof of the car as this guy's saddle falls off the seatpost. The first noise had evidently been the bolt falling out / apart. We all stood there thinking - how in the world did that bolt survive the White's descent only to break under no pressure in the campsite.

Weird funny, rather than funny haha.

Tempestas

This is my favourite

KonaKurt

I've heard of shopping bikes having baskets at the front, but that is ridiculous!! HAHA.


My funniest moment is a little kinky Two absolutly knockout gorgeous blonde girls rode past me (saying 'hi'' sweetly as they past me *grin*) as I took a break in a wooded section of The Ridgeway. They rode just 20 yards past me through some trees when the first girl suddenly burst into gorgeous girly squeals and screams, stopping her bike quickly to put her hands to her 'ding dongs'!

Naturally concerned for these blonde maidens, I rushed over to help. I thought she somehow hurt herself. It's turns out that she rode into a small spiders web and a thumbnail sized spider had fallen down her lovely low cut riding top
It was a hilarious moment, with me momentarily wondering if I should offer to examine her cleavage and fish it out! *huge grin*

It turns out that they were a couple of lovely aussie girls, both with a fear of spiders. We chatted for a while afterwards, they were both embarassed, and I was charming

That little spider made my month, as they sweetly thanked me and gave me permission to ride along with them for a few miiles afterwards plus their email addys.

I had never been jealous and grateful to an insect at the same time before

*long dreamy gaze and grin*

It was hard to know which bar I had to grip afterwards.

KK.

RealMan

Fat people on expensive bikes pinch puncturing going up/down kerbs.

touchy

Only slightly MTB related:
Riding home from a downhill session with a couple of mates. 4 neds sitting at a picnic bench getting drunk (at 3 in the afternoon ). Anyway, theres a little mound of dirt at the side of the path so, naturally, i hop over it. Chain rattles off the chainstay loud enough to upset one of the neds.
So then me at 6foot1 wearing full body armour, full face helmet and gloves with solid knucle protectors gets chased by a skinny, 5foot ned shouting abuse

I ignored him and kept cycling but kinda wish i'd stopped. I wonder what he would have done if i stopped and waited for him?

Doombrain

me falling off thanks to new SPDs in front of 15 jumpers, all kids.

KonaKurt

Oh, that remind me, I too had a bad experience when I tried SPDs for the first time, a few years ago. I got locked into them, came to a halt at some village traffic lights, then toppled over Monty Python style onto the soft verge. It was a good job the verge was soft lawn, and not the thorny rosebushes that I had passed just 20 yards beforehand!

I made a few schoolkids cheer and laugh (although, they would laugh at anything, right?).

KK

tom-117

today i went training with dave "bullhead" wardell we went to our tails and started hitting jumps, on the last one i new i didnt have enough speed to land smooth so i thought to save my backwheel i would pull off so i did and jumped off the side straight into a tree :oops: leaving bullhead in stiches on the floor :oops:

jonnyc2420

was not funny at the time but can laugh about it now.........my mate deciding to hide my car while i was in the garage buying some food, watching him drive the range rover full tilt through the carwash with 4 bikes on the roof......... one hell of a noise , bent metal facia and bikes and a lot of explaining to do...... :shock:

hoolabloom

Two classic of mine spring to mind whilst out riding with my lady I was showing her how to do a bit of a rocky section and said to her " all you need to do is relax let the bike do the work" at this point i went head first over the bars as i rolled a steep bit. Yeah relaxed there came her reply

Second one is last week after working on my wheelies i pedal past her quote " i think i ve cracked this wheely shit" instantly off the back still clipped in my spds landing on me arse! I dont think you have she says!

Quality