Giant insect attack!!

pottssteve

So,
I'm riding to work this morning, the weather was nice so I took the scenic route by the sea. I was wearing my replica Garmin jersey (25 quid from Wiggle - thanks for the heads up email, chaps), but I think that insects may be attracted to argyle.

I'm doing about 30kph when I come around a bend and straight into a swarm (although herd might be a better description) of these huge dragonflies that come out around dawn and dusk. I hit about 3 or 4 of them and they pinged off my helmet like hailstones. Another one hit me just above the right eye. I'd just cleared them when a wasp the size of a sparrow comes hurtling towards me, bouncing off my right arm.

I get to work and there's a HUGE moth hovering around me. I look down and there's an even bigger praying mantis eyeing me up; it's goggly eyes followed me into the building....

It would appear that an argyle jersey turns you into a cross between Snow White and Dr Doolittle. It's like Starship Troopers around here.


As I'm typing this there are 2 butterflies bumping against the window, trying to get in...... :shock:

skyd0g

It's obviously your pheromones attracting them. Or maybe your Old Spice aftershave.

Anonymous

Maybe BlueChip Bob has genetically manipulated all earth's creatures to attack Argyle.

pottssteve

I think it's the typhoon. Just found out we have a T1 warning in place; I thought it was a bit windy this morning.

The animals always know.....

term1te

May be the insects are the right size, but you've shrunk, along with your bike and kit? It seems unlikely, but you never know...

As a child I was once attached by giant ants, but that turned out to be too much Actifed and a fever.

freehub

Those wasps are huge and need killing, they destroy honey bees.

cee

i did a bit of travelling in my early 20's.....the best thing I saw was massive dragon flies which had been caught up in a massive saharan sand storm, then dumped (with so much sand that the air was orange for a week) on top of the canary islands!

I would guess at about a 6inch wingspan on these fella's......the best thing is when you drive along and one catches the upstream from the windscreen of the car and sits floating there.....

i thought they were cool

pottssteve

Well,

it's like Journey to the Centre of the Earth here now. Just rode home from work and the Typhoon is now at T3. Makes the riding interesting, especially when gusting from the side... It may get up to T8 later (no, I don't know why there isn't a T4, 5, 6 or 7). If that's in force tomorrow morning I might get the day off work!

cee - HK dragonflies were tiddlers then - only about 4-5inch wing span.

term1te - "As a child I was once attached by giant ants, but that turned out to be too much Actifed and a fever."

We've got those as well - the soldiers are about 1cm long :shock:

Rev\'d Gatlin

Did any of the critters look like this?

pottssteve

Rev\'d Gatlin wrote:

Did any of the critters look like this?

Yeah - they were just like that, but bigger...

Rev\'d Gatlin

Too bad. You'd better kiss the bike goodbye.

pottssteve

Rev\'d,
Do you have an extensive picture library of giant insects or something?

Yes, it was just like these




































But bigger

Rev\'d Gatlin

No sir, not me. But I have a contact on the inside.

pottssteve

That is the biggest insect/man/robot I've ever seen!

I gather he was intent on world domination until one night someone left their toilet light on and he flew in through the open window.......