How sh1t is this.

Frank the tank

I had to think hard about whether to post this or not.

A friend/work colleague of mine has been told that his fight with pancreatic cancer is now a lost cause, Depending on if he has more chemo or discontinues his life expectancy is three to eight months.

What would you do in such a hopeless situation? Would you think eight months of hospital and constant illness, or three months, some of which could have some kind of quality too it?

The reason I thought hard about posting was because I didn't want to appear as I was trivialising my friends plight, I was just curious though as to peoples opinions and which way they think they would choose.

FWIW I think I would take the none chemo way.

Life just seems so d@mned unfair sometimes. I'll miss him, he has a wicked sense of humour.

finchy

Wow, sorry about that. That is a very nasty one to consider.

I suppose it depends on whether you had family or not. If I had family, maybe I'd hold onto every single day, if not, just get it over with quickly.

Don't worry about posting it, sometimes the anonymity of the Internet can help you express yourself a bit better.

justresting

poor guy, I think I would choose the non chemo way, but I'd in no way question his decision as no one can put themselves in his place.

Frank the tank

It's because it's a nasty one to consider is another reason I was reluctant to post. TBH I was in the process of deleting it when you replied, which prevented its deletion.

Crapaud

Sorry to hear about your mate, Frank.

Frank the tank wrote:

... What would you do in such a hopeless situation? Would you think eight months of hospital and constant illness, or three months, some of which could have some kind of quality too it? ...

It's always difficult to know what you'd do in a given situation until you're actually in it, but I think I'd prefer to have 3 months of some kind of life rather than 8 months of misery (chemo's really shite; I've known a few people that have had it).

The inevitable's inevitable, I'd make the most of what's left.

bobpzero

What would you do in such a hopeless situation?

sorry to hear about your friend, frank
listen to these sermons
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pedylan

Frank the tank wrote:

What would you do in such a hopeless situation? Would you think eight months of hospital and constant illness, or three months, some of which could have some kind of quality too it?

Pancreatic cancer has a horrendous mortality rate. Cures are rare as it is hardly ever diagnosed until the tumour is advanced. The tumour is also almost always so enmeshed in the pancreas that removal would damage blood or digestive function so badly that the patient would not survive the operation.
Treatment in the form of aggresive chemo is undertaken merely to prolong the life remaining to the sufferer. The life expectancy offered upon diagnosis is often less than six months

My mother in law died of this illness last year; from diagnosis to her death was less than 4 months. I went with her to the appointment to discuss whether to undergo chemo. Not a pleasant consultation and it was decided not to take the treatment. The possibility of an extension to life was offset by the prospect of twice weekly hospital visits each involving an overnight and the impact on physical health of the treatment. Mentally, patients have to be very strong to face and endure this treatment.

Instead of chemo she received care focused on pain relief and home support. She spent time at home and died in a hospice after receiving many visits from family and friends and generally always being alert enough to make the most of that time. Instead she might have had twice as much life time but much less life quality.

Having had that experience, and to answer your question, I would not accept chemotherapy.

Don't be embarrassed about posting, this is only a bike forum but we'll almost all face personal situations just like the one you describe.

Wappygixer

Firstly I'm sorry to hear about your friend, sometimes its harder with friends than family as these are people you have chosen to bond with.
Posts like this certainly make you grateful for what we have at this moment.
I think many take life for granted and way too seriously.
I know many people who base their whole diet and lifestyle on well being.I say live your life as you enjoy it and make the most of it.
Yuo never know what is around the corner.
I think i'd take non chemotherapy route as it does run you down and makes you feel sh1tty anyway.

Your friend may go but you always have the memories, no one can take those away

NWLondoner

Firstly, your friend has my sympathy.

If it were me I would NOT have the chemotherapy. I would just make the most of my good days/weeks/months and then once the cancer started to take over I would buy a one way air ticket to Switzerland.

afcbian

And there's me sat here tonight feeling a little low for various reason's I don't want to elaborate on and I read this.
It made me realise how lucky most of us are and that any trivial little issues we all have to deal with are exactly that..........just trivial.
My sympathy and for the record I would take the chemo in my current situation as I have a beautiful family but if on my own I would live every second of the few months left !

Firecrakka

edit.

stage_fright

As Pedylan says above - Pancreatic cancer is a nasty one. MyY ex-boss had it and then the whipple's(?) operation they try sometimes - and just about lasted another five years.

In that time he did two charity cycle rides to raise money for Pancreatic Cancer UK- one from his hometown of Bolton to his hospital in Hammersmith, and then just months before he died from Hammersmith to his family's old home in Poland, including several 100 mile + days. Even near the end he put my cycling exploits to shame.

Frank - I suspect your friend has already come across Pancreatic Cancer UK (www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk), but their site has information, advice and case studies which can help not only the patient but family and friends to undertsand the conditon. There is also a link to my friend and his cycling journeys.

I hope this helps in some small way.

ademort

Frank the tank wrote:

I had to think hard about whether to post this or not.

A friend/work colleague of mine has been told that his fight with pancreatic cancer is now a lost cause, Depending on if he has more chemo or discontinues his life expectancy is three to eight months.

What would you do in such a hopeless situation? Would you think eight months of hospital and constant illness, or three months, some of which could have some kind of quality too it?

The reason I thought hard about posting was because I didn't want to appear as I was trivialising my friends plight, I was just curious though as to peoples opinions and which way they think they would choose.

FWIW I think I would take the none chemo way.

Life just seems so d@mned unfair sometimes. I'll miss him, he has a wicked sense of humour.

My sympathy to you and above all to your colleague, life stinks sometimes. Around two years ago we had a colleague who had the same he was a supervisor in his early fifties and chose to go with chemo, of course there is no happy ending and while he was still able he was driven by his wife to work and came into the canteen to speak to us all for one last time.He made a very emotional speech, praising everyone who has supported him during his illness and asked us to carry on supporting his wife after he is gone.We all stood in a line and offered ROB our sympathy, it was very emotional,. Rob passed away about 4 months later. It,s the second colleague i,ve lost to this form of cancer. As i said LIFE STINKS SOMETIMES.
Ademort

fungus_the_muffin_man

As a nurse who see's this quite regularly i would go the non chemo route. Why put yourself and your family through so much pain and discomfort just to put of the inevitable. I'd get the palliative care team in get them to morphine me up and have a nice dignified death with my family present in my own home and not in a hospital. Its the only way IMO to have control over the situation and give it as positive an outcome as possible for all concerned.

cee

again...thoughts to your friend, but also to everyone touched by their illness...sometimes close friends and family are a little forgotten in the support stakes for things like this.....but that is not to say that they do not need some form of support.

I do not think that is a decision I could fully comprehend without being in or close to the situation, but my inital feeling is to go for quality rather than quantity.

Take care of yourself and those you love.

Best Wishes
Cee

crown_jewel

I don't have any words of wisdom that haven't been offered but I do share good thoughts for your friend. Things like this do put bike rides in perspective.

What struck me most about this thread is that it provides a wonderful example of why I enjoy this forum so much. The humanity and decency on display are truly exceptional. Thanks.

Frank the tank

Thank you all very much for your sympathies and kind responses. As I said I had to think hard about making the OP but given the replies I'm glad I did.

I know none of you personally but I must say thank you FRIENDS.

Much appreciated.
Frank.

nwallace

Horrible position to be in, for you and your friend.

If it's guaranteed to win then why keep going with a course of treatment that is meant to try and save you but messes you up in the process.

If letting the disease take it's natural course gives a better quality of life for the last few months then why not?

Isn't that what palliative care is about?

nick hanson

Very sorry to here your news

We lost my mother in law to the same disease.
From diagnosis to the end was 6 months.
She was Very brave,& chose quality of life rather than Chemo
If It's any concellation at all,at least her pain was managed and she passed away at home,with her family at her side.
Do Take care of yourself