Looking for crap tyres.
Anonymous
Posts: 79,667
I am inhumanly fast on a bike, and always leave my riding buddies behind.
Of course, being good at everything, I always know what gear to buy, so I've lways got really good tyres and brakes and stuff.
I really am that good.
However, I was wandering, because my riding mates will never EVER be as fst as me, I could slow down to their level.
I thought I could do this by using slow rolling tyres with terrible grip, which would force me to check my speed.
On top of this, I want some crap brakes, to force me into riding slower, rather than shedding speed at the last minute.
I could also do with some gears that don't always shift, and some fragile parts that won't take a beating.
So, has anyone got any ideas on crap parts I could use?
Especially the tyres, they have to be super heavy, very slow rolling, and offer less grip than a camel on an ice rink.
Of course, being good at everything, I always know what gear to buy, so I've lways got really good tyres and brakes and stuff.
I really am that good.
However, I was wandering, because my riding mates will never EVER be as fst as me, I could slow down to their level.
I thought I could do this by using slow rolling tyres with terrible grip, which would force me to check my speed.
On top of this, I want some crap brakes, to force me into riding slower, rather than shedding speed at the last minute.
I could also do with some gears that don't always shift, and some fragile parts that won't take a beating.
So, has anyone got any ideas on crap parts I could use?
Especially the tyres, they have to be super heavy, very slow rolling, and offer less grip than a camel on an ice rink.
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Lmao i would suggest schwalbe black shark mud the largest which is the gluey gooey compound.
Nothing but drag and i promise you'll come off at every turn.
I had to pedal hard even when going downhill, i never met a tyre that took the pi$$ so much.
Oddly i've been putting heavy gear on my bike recently as i too am getting tired of rides being too damned slow. :oops: The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Giant Anthem X0 -
I'll be sure to (not) look them up then!
Keep em coming!0 -
I have some special dual-compound tryes. The compounds being treacle and concrete.
I also have some disc brakes that use custard as brake fluid, some bamboo forks and some gears made entirely of cheese.
I am willing to sell, but am not going to post any pics or prices. and they are pick up only, but I'm not telling you where to pick them up from.0 -
Erm, would the pickup be on the isle woman by any chance?0
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That'll sort things.
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ah, nonnac. Silly little nonnac. I don't think you truly appreciate how awesome I am.nonnac85 wrote:buy an apollo
I'm so good, I'm not actually allowed to race professionally. I occasionally turn up for the UCI DH world championships on my grandmother's shopper, and after everyone's left, I will beat Sam Hill and Steve Peat's times by around two minutes or so.
Now do you understand my conundrum? 0 -
blister pus wrote:That'll sort things.
i was going to suggest one of the 70 quid asda bikes, but i think that one would be better than any crap supermarket bikeFancy a brew?0 -
maxxis hookworms?
i know they are slick but they wiegh a ton and you wont be able to take any tight cornersGenesis Altitude
BMC Team Machine0 -
ah, nonnac. Silly little nonnac. I don't think you truly appreciate how awesome I am.
I'm so good, I'm not actually allowed to race professionally. I occasionally turn up for the UCI DH world championships on my grandmother's shopper, and after everyone's left, I will beat Sam Hill and Steve Peat's times by around two minutes or so.
Now do you understand my conundrum?
Is this from all the training you do from your location on the Moon - where there is less gravity so you have to pedal so much more - I guess that translates to a whole lot more speed on Earth?!?!My Website - Trail Centre info for the UK: MTB Trail Time0 -
This is a terrible affliction that I know too well.
In the early 80's when I was in my prime early 30's had the same problem with all the teenagers who tried to race me. Always had to stop and wait for them and when they did arrive they would all stand around acting like leaf blowers.
The one thing I was looking forward to was that a good athlete looses about 6% of output per decade, this is less than the norm for the general public which is 10%.
So I should have lost a good 15%, but no such luck, the leaf blowers are still about.
I only have one solution stock the fridge to the brim with pasties and Guiness and every time you open the fridge and the light comes on you win a prize of a pasty and Guiness which have to consume straight away.
Within weeks you will have slowed to a crawl. You can then spend the rest of your life talking to buddies instead of being too far in front to hear them, or when you can hear them they can't speak.Now where's that "Get Out of Crash Free Card"0 -
Actually, I think it's because there's so very very little air here on the moon. when I ride on Earth, it's like being supercharged.nonnac85 wrote:Is this from all the training you do from your location on the Moon - where there is less gravity so you have to pedal so much more - I guess that translates to a whole lot more speed on Earth?!?!
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These wheels should help you out ,However if your still too fast run the shoes backwards or swap them out for thongs :P.........all
...at........work
fun..................&
..no.............no
.....is......play0 -
Thongs? as in G-strings? huh?
Good idea though, I like it. Maybe I'd replace them with some stilletto heels or something!0 -
Might I suggest you look at the Maxxis Flyweights. Granted they aren't heavy, weighting less that an average innertube. However, and here's the cunning bit... they puncture every 100 yards. So after stopping to fix them all the time, you should be about the same speed as your riding buddies. 0
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Hey, El Cap, long time no see!
you still hiding in the other place?0 -
Pretty much, although my 'Forum time' is becoming less and less these days - prefer to actually be out riding *shock horror*
I'm also turning more to "The Dark Side" and have just purchased this little beauty:
Looking to make an appearance at the Cannock camping/drinking/riding get together though. 0 -
Tut. The other place is for gays 0
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I wouldnt know about that sort of behaviour. Stuart might though. Or El Capitano. 0
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Pretty sweet road bike that though.
You might even be able to keep up with me on the shoe-bike 0 -
Argh! a road bike, quick avert your eyes lest ye be turned to the dark side!!!
Out of here you heathen *waves pointy stick*0 -
Begone and snappeth yee pointy stick and casteth thee beyond thy nearest out house. :evil:
Nothing wrong with the dark side, Had a 100 km race yesterday, A mere warmup for mowing my half hectare of lush green today with the push mower.
My legs my poor legs... .........all
...at........work
fun..................&
..no.............no
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crap tyres? how about specialized the captains? scary scary cornering Bikes are OK, I guess... :-)
2008 Specialized Stumpjumper FSR Comp.
2013 Trek 1.2
1982 Holdsworth Elan.0
