Sat Nav Voices

CHRISNOIR
CHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
edited August 2009 in The bottom bracket
So, Bob Dylan could be the voice of a sat-nav ("Take the next left at Positively 4th Street..."). Personally I'd opt for Malcolm Tucker. Having some good swearing in your ear during the evening rush-hour could be quite inspiring ("Go straight ahead, you tw*t!").

So who would you like telling you directions? And why.
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Comments

  • Crapaud
    Crapaud Posts: 2,483
    CHRISNOIR wrote:
    ... Having some good swearing in your ear during the evening rush-hour could be quite inspiring ("Go straight ahead, you tw*t!").

    So who would you like telling you directions? And why.
    Apparently there's an Ozzie Osborne voice that swears copiously - remember to turn it off, though, when you've got the kids in the car.

    I quite fancy the Homer Simpson one that goes, "Doh!" when you miss a turnoff.
    A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject - Churchill
  • Stewie Griffin
    Stewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    My Brother has a Jamaican accent on his 8)
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    My sister has Eric Cartman and it is bloody hilarious!
  • SunWuKong
    SunWuKong Posts: 364
    Henning Wehn would be brilliant.
  • Stewie Griffin
    Stewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    NapoleonD wrote:
    My sister has Eric Cartman and it is bloody hilarious!

    Ha ha, I will suggest my Brother find this asap. Respect my authoritah, turn left or I will kick you in the nuts :lol: .
  • timb64
    timb64 Posts: 248
    Posh female voice ......Joanna Lumley,Alice Roberts(from Coast),Kate Humble,Felicity Kendall....my shrink(if I had one ) would have a field day!!
  • sicknote
    sicknote Posts: 901
    I have Yoda on mine but you can also have Daerth Vader and a lot more :D
  • Aggieboy
    Aggieboy Posts: 3,996
    CHRISNOIR wrote:
    So, Bob Dylan could be the voice of a sat-nav ("Take the next left at Positively 4th Street..."). Personally I'd opt for Malcolm Tucker. Having some good swearing in your ear during the evening rush-hour could be quite inspiring ("Go straight ahead, you tw*t!").

    So who would you like telling you directions? And why.

    My wife's always telling me where to go!! :lol:
    "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."
  • CHRISNOIR
    CHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    Aggieboy wrote:
    My wife's always telling me where to go!! :lol:

    Actually I typed out 'Who would you like telling you where to go' before I thought better of it...
  • bobtbuilder
    bobtbuilder Posts: 1,537
    Apparently there is a Barrymore one which is pretty good, although you end up rear-ended and floating in a swimming pool.
  • bobpzero
    bobpzero Posts: 1,431
    what i need is jon joe satnav http://www.myspace.com/keithlawsketches :lol:
  • whyamihere
    whyamihere Posts: 7,702
    A Northern Irish girl, with a lilting song-like voice.

    I'd never leave the car though, I could listen to that forever.
  • pedylan
    pedylan Posts: 768
    timb64 wrote:
    Posh female voice ......Joanna Lumley,Alice Roberts(from Coast),Kate Humble,Felicity Kendall....my shrink(if I had one ) would have a field day!!

    No need for a shrink I think your psyche is perfectly transparent.

    Me, I'd only add Mariella Frostrup to your list and the competition's closed :D
    Where the neon madmen climb
  • mariecycle
    mariecycle Posts: 1
    8) if you want witt swearing and hilarity I would certainly plonk for kevin bloody wilson but it would have to be a child free zone.
  • hopper1
    hopper1 Posts: 4,389
    Wouldn't matter what voice it had, my Sat Nav is constantly getting it wrong! :twisted:
    She (female voice) has caused me more arguments than anything else, and that's when I'm alone in the car!!
    Dizzy bitch hasn't got a clue ( VW Touareg), my mate has same probs in his Range Rover. I followed him once and we got the same wrong info :twisted:
    Mind you, it is kind of funny, when she tells me one thing and I know where I am, I start giving her lip!... Wouldn't do that if it was the wife giving the orders :wink:
    Start with a budget, finish with a mortgage!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    My mate had Mr T but it refused to direct him to the airport.
  • sylvestermorgan
    sylvestermorgan Posts: 35
    How about celebrity sat nav, where you get a different voice everytime and you have to guess who it is. Admittedly, Julian Clary would be a bit too easy!
  • pedylan
    pedylan Posts: 768
    sylvestermorgan wrote:
    How about celebrity sat nav, where you get a different voice everytime and you have to guess who it is. Admittedly, Julian Clary would be a bit too easy!

    Yeah, I'd heard that too. :)
    Where the neon madmen climb
  • skyd0g
    skyd0g Posts: 2,540
    whyamihere wrote:
    A Northern Irish girl, with a lilting song-like voice.

    I'd never leave the car though, I could listen to that forever.

    ..Nah! ...you'd ask for that...
    ...and instead end up with Mrs. Doyle off Father Ted, but you'd never be able to make a turn anywhere - you'd just "go on, go on, go on"....
    Cycling weakly
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    bobtbuilder wrote:
    Apparently there is a Barrymore one which is pretty good, although you end up rear-ended and floating in a swimming pool.

    :)

    Actually, I don't recommend this version either, very bad for the car's performance and you have to get the engine de-coked on a regular basis. :wink:

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    Ron Manager from The Fast Show. Although it would take ages to get anywhere allowing for all the waffle;

    "Take a left at the next crossroads....hmm, isn't it, you know....Crossroads....wooden, flimsy sets. Wooden, flimsy acting! Marvellous. Enduring image, isn't it? But, hmm, you know, soaps, isn't it? Palmolive - there's another one! Enduring smell...." etc.

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • CHRISNOIR
    CHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    DavidBelcher wrote:
    bobtbuilder wrote:
    Apparently there is a Barrymore one which is pretty good, although you end up rear-ended and floating in a swimming pool.

    :)

    Actually, I don't recommend this version either, very bad for the car's performance and you have to get the engine de-coked on a regular basis. :wink:

    David

    There's also a gag lurking here about only being able to tell you to go 'All Wight' but it won't quite give itself up at the moment.
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    ....and one to avoid: Brian Blessed. Unless you happen to regularly carry a pair of ear defenders around in the glove compartment.

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    Crapaud wrote:
    I quite fancy the Homer Simpson one that goes, "Doh!" when you miss a turnoff.

    If holidaying in Devon and trying to get from Seaton to Sidmouth, does it inevitably direct you via "Mmmm.....Beer"? :wink:

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • de_sisti
    de_sisti Posts: 1,283
    whyamihere wrote:
    A Northern Irish girl, with a lilting song-like voice.

    I'd never leave the car though, I could listen to that forever.

    I think her name is Cathy Clugsdon, one of Radio 4's continuity announcers.
    She's on my sat-nav too.
  • Crapaud
    Crapaud Posts: 2,483
    DavidBelcher wrote:
    Crapaud wrote:
    I quite fancy the Homer Simpson one that goes, "Doh!" when you miss a turnoff.

    If holidaying in Devon and trying to get from Seaton to Sidmouth, does it inevitably direct you via "Mmmm.....Beer"? :wink:

    David
    Is the beer in that neck of the woods Duff, then? :D
    A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject - Churchill
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    Crapaud wrote:
    DavidBelcher wrote:
    Crapaud wrote:
    I quite fancy the Homer Simpson one that goes, "Doh!" when you miss a turnoff.

    If holidaying in Devon and trying to get from Seaton to Sidmouth, does it inevitably direct you via "Mmmm.....Beer"? :wink:

    David
    Is the beer in that neck of the woods Duff, then? :D

    Nah, you want to go to Harrogate for that;

    http://www.dalesidebrewery.com/duff.htm

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • bagpusscp
    bagpusscp Posts: 2,907
    Hmmm. My good lady never shuts up when we are out in the car.Though I must say her map reading is not to bad. :wink:
    bagpuss
  • pedylan
    pedylan Posts: 768
    DavidBelcher wrote:
    ....and one to avoid: Brian Blessed. Unless you happen to regularly carry a pair of ear defenders around in the glove compartment.

    David

    And even better Ian Paisley(Snr). THERE WILL BE NO TURNING BACK. NEVER NEVER NEVER
    Where the neon madmen climb
  • skyd0g
    skyd0g Posts: 2,540
    Vicky Pollard off Little Britain would make for an "interesting" route...

    Vicky: Yeah but no, but yeah, like you want to turn right here, but no, but yeah, but no not really. No because what happened was was I was going round Karl’s but then this whole fing happened because Shelley Todd who’s a bitch anyway has been completely going around saying that Destiny stole money out of Rochelle’s purse but I ain’t never not even spoken to Rochelle ‘cause she flicked ash into Michaela’s hair. Yeah but Louise Farren emptied a whole bottle of Fanta into Shannon’s bag but anyway Luke reckons he fingered Emma Bateman in the language lab.
    So like I didn't want to go there anyway.
    Cycling weakly

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