Essential reading
iainment
Posts: 992
I give you:
Daddy, Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma? (Teaching Youngsters About Hell)
by Pastor Deacon Fred Smith
List Price: $12.97
Our Price: $35.99
You Save: Nothing. (Only Jesus Saves!)
Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours from Landover Baptist Church in Freehold, Iowa. Click on the book cover to download a sample page to color! Print out several copies, and give them to every impressionable child you can find. While they're coloring, they'll find Jesus' unconditional love!
Summary: God's violent anger is directed toward those who dare to question His perfect love for them. Grandma Jenkins is no exception. One little slip of the tongue on her deathbed secured an eternity of separation from God. Marooned alone in the lake of fire, her only company is a visiting red-finned water demon who sodomizes her from the deep as fire waves crash into her screaming head and burst her wrinkled body into flames.
This beautifully illustrated Christian children's book is grounded in the timeless words of Jesus Christ. Jesus teaches all of his children not to be afraid of the Devil, but to be afraid of God. "But I forewarn you whom ye shall fear." Jesus says in Luke 12:5, "Fear Him, who after he hath killed hath the power to cast into hell." This is sound, true Christian doctrine, grounded in the Holy Bible. Talking to a four-year-old child about God's carefully constructed plan of eternal torture in Hell and His unquenchable thirst for human blood can be difficult, but this book makes it easy and fun!
Remember dear Grandma, who baked so well?
Soon she will be baking - This time in Hell!
Dear Daddy, why Grandma? What did she do?
Don't question it child, or God will GET YOU!
Daddy, Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma? (Teaching Youngsters About Hell)
by Pastor Deacon Fred Smith
List Price: $12.97
Our Price: $35.99
You Save: Nothing. (Only Jesus Saves!)
Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours from Landover Baptist Church in Freehold, Iowa. Click on the book cover to download a sample page to color! Print out several copies, and give them to every impressionable child you can find. While they're coloring, they'll find Jesus' unconditional love!
Summary: God's violent anger is directed toward those who dare to question His perfect love for them. Grandma Jenkins is no exception. One little slip of the tongue on her deathbed secured an eternity of separation from God. Marooned alone in the lake of fire, her only company is a visiting red-finned water demon who sodomizes her from the deep as fire waves crash into her screaming head and burst her wrinkled body into flames.
This beautifully illustrated Christian children's book is grounded in the timeless words of Jesus Christ. Jesus teaches all of his children not to be afraid of the Devil, but to be afraid of God. "But I forewarn you whom ye shall fear." Jesus says in Luke 12:5, "Fear Him, who after he hath killed hath the power to cast into hell." This is sound, true Christian doctrine, grounded in the Holy Bible. Talking to a four-year-old child about God's carefully constructed plan of eternal torture in Hell and His unquenchable thirst for human blood can be difficult, but this book makes it easy and fun!
Remember dear Grandma, who baked so well?
Soon she will be baking - This time in Hell!
Dear Daddy, why Grandma? What did she do?
Don't question it child, or God will GET YOU!
Old hippies don't die, they just lie low until the laughter stops and their time comes round again.
Joseph Gallivan
Joseph Gallivan
0
Comments
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This is a hoax, Landover Baptist church is a fictional church in a fictional town.
See also thier article on "are dinosaurs a government hoax"
I rest my cases (usually on someone elses foot).
"If you think you can, or if you think you can't, your right" Henry Ford0 -
Barkiesnake wrote:This is a hoax, Landover Baptist church is a fictional church in a fictional town.See also thier article on "are dinosaurs a government hoax"
I rest my cases (usually on someone elses foot).
No, really, I feel violated. Back to the FSM then and being touched by his noodly appendage.Old hippies don't die, they just lie low until the laughter stops and their time comes round again.
Joseph Gallivan0 -
"Talking to a four-year-old child about God's carefully constructed plan of eternal torture in Hell and His unquenchable thirst for human blood can be difficult, but this book makes it easy and fun!" 0
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Holy Toledo, i gotta get me that book...
His body is little,
His arms are short,
but I rely on him,
For my child support,
hallelujah, praise be,, demons OUT! :twisted: :?: :?: :twisted:0 -
iainment wrote:Grandma Jenkins is no exception. One little slip of the tongue on her deathbed secured an eternity of separation from God. Marooned alone in the lake of fire, her only company is a visiting red-finned water demon who sodomizes her from the deep as fire waves crash into her screaming head and burst her wrinkled body into flames.
"....and that's when Mrs. Jenkins decided to call Injury Lawyers 4 U"
David"It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal0
