Armchair Cyclists

So I'm in waiting (with bike) for the lift up to my floor this AM when a large bloke who works on the 3rd floor sidles over:
Fatty: "Cycling in London's not safe you know."
Me: "Really, do you cycle much then?"
Fatty: "Never have, but it looks bloody dangerous."
Me: "Perhaps you should give it a go, it's really nothing to worry about."
Fatty: "No thanks, I'll stick to driving. You be careful though."
Me: "3rd floor is it then?"
C0ck.
Fatty: "Cycling in London's not safe you know."
Me: "Really, do you cycle much then?"
Fatty: "Never have, but it looks bloody dangerous."
Me: "Perhaps you should give it a go, it's really nothing to worry about."
Fatty: "No thanks, I'll stick to driving. You be careful though."
Me: "3rd floor is it then?"
C0ck.
2015 Canyon Aeroad CF SLX
2020 Canyon Ultimate CF SLX
2020 Canyon Inflite SL 7
On the Strand
Crown Stables
2020 Canyon Ultimate CF SLX
2020 Canyon Inflite SL 7
On the Strand
Crown Stables
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He's got prior form on this one. Likes to dispense pointless and unwanted advice once every few months. Point is he doesn't cycle so I dunno what makes him qualified to hand out advice - which he does in an irritatingly supercilious manner.
He is a c0ck and a fat one at that.
2020 Canyon Ultimate CF SLX
2020 Canyon Inflite SL 7
On the Strand
Crown Stables
Funny enough, it's only even non-cyclists who dispense this helmet-related advice. Mind you, the vast majority of cyclists I know are you lot, and I think you've all realised I'm a lost cause there.
Oh and 'you should really wear hi-viz, luv'.
What else...
'It's dangerous to ride a bike without gears'.
Really? Are we sure about that?
My favourite response is to smile and say 'I like to live dangerously'. There's really not a great deal they can say to that!
Viner Maxima, Tifosi CK7, Giant Bowery, Old commuter.
Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
Fixed Pista- FCN 5
Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
I was though! In my defense the stairs are metal and slippy in SPD's and I had my bike. I stacked it down them once while carrying my bike. That hurt!
2020 Canyon Ultimate CF SLX
2020 Canyon Inflite SL 7
On the Strand
Crown Stables
Ask them if they smoke, drink, eat fatty food, eat too much salt, or fail to do any exercise? All of these far more dangerous than cycling, and not as much fun (except maybe drinking).
No, because, you see, that would cause an argument. And I can't be bothered with an argument.
Viner Maxima, Tifosi CK7, Giant Bowery, Old commuter.
That's a very laid back response from a lady who makes grown men cry by overtaking them whilst apparently dressed for a garden party 8)
"What happens when the hammer goes down, kids?"
"It stays down, Daddy."
"Exactly."
It's safer than being I pedestrian - I think.
Two of my non-cycling colleagues have had heart attacks this summer alone. :?
You should wear a helmet, a huge one shaped like a cup at the front, and hi-viz, the sort that is huge and flappy, also you need gears ones that spin your legs at 200rpm to get 5mph out of it. Then you might get enough drag to slow you down to normal human standards!
Just kidding, all is personal choice I say. Never a bad word to other cyclists on attire, unless it is all black without lights at night on the wrong side of the road one-handed steering whilst texting. Then I have words, and far too often it has happened. Usually "what the censored ?" As I have to swerve out of the way.
Sign hung on my head everyday till noon.
FCN: 11 (apparently)
Well, you really should
Luv
<<RUNS>> (running 'cos no bike today)
It's just a hill. Get over it.
A few know I go to gigs a lot.. so I get the question "So with all these gigs you go to dioes it affect your hearing" my reply "Pardon?" sometimes I've done that 3 times before they realise
Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
Fixed Pista- FCN 5
Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
Viner Maxima, Tifosi CK7, Giant Bowery, Old commuter.
The most annoying is when colleagues are getting into their cars and see me unlocking and say "you ride home safe now". That is like pepper up my @rse. :evil:
Engineered Bicycles
On the helmet/no helmet thing - the only time it bugs me is when I see people with a helmet but hanging from the bars or their bag or something - I can understand some people dont want to wear one but if you have one, with you, put the thing on for gods sake!
What does that feel like then?
Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
Fixed Pista- FCN 5
Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
It baffles people at work when I indicate that I ride to the station to avoid the need for a second car, at £2k per annum running cost + £700 for parking permit. Then I mention that I SOLD a car and started cycling and they just implode.
Whenever I mention that I 'drove somewhere' they are stunned, perhaps they think I can't drive...I mean, why would you cycle when you can drive? I mean, why??
It's just a hill. Get over it.
Probably not dissimilar to salt 'n' vinegar on yer n0b
It's just a hill. Get over it.
Not as bad as mustard.
FCN 8
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
- Terry Pratchett.
Or deep heat from what I've heard :roll:
I've apologiesed many, many times for that, he still hasn't forgiven me.
They usually shut up then but some start long tales involving rides undertaken by them before the dawn of time. As I am a cyclist I must find them interesting, of course. :roll:
Some of them have it swinging from their bars, just begging to get tangled up in something and cause them to have an accident...
If you don't want to wear one then don't, but what is this all about?
Probably dude's who's gf has insisted on the helmet and they haven't got the stones to say no, so leave the house wearing it then off it comes and onto the bars...
Perhaps they wait until they're about to crash and pop it on sharpish-like, makes perfect sense to me, best of both worlds.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/3336802663/
Ah, genius. How stupid do I feel, riding along in my helmet when I'm not even falling off.
Jeeez, chill out. I ride a bike to relax...not get worked up about what every other rider is up to.
Someone really should start a thread so we can debate this issue to a well thought out conclusion
Is reachable from here.
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