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Armchair Cyclists

il_principeil_principe Posts: 9,152
edited July 2009 in Commuting chat
So I'm in waiting (with bike) for the lift up to my floor this AM when a large bloke who works on the 3rd floor sidles over:

Fatty: "Cycling in London's not safe you know."
Me: "Really, do you cycle much then?"
Fatty: "Never have, but it looks bloody dangerous."
Me: "Perhaps you should give it a go, it's really nothing to worry about."
Fatty: "No thanks, I'll stick to driving. You be careful though."
Me: "3rd floor is it then?"

C0ck.
2015 Canyon Aeroad CF SLX
2020 Canyon Ultimate CF SLX
2020 Canyon Inflite SL 7
On the Strand
Crown Stables
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  • bigmatbigmat Posts: 5,132
    Sounds like he was being friendly, "fatty" and "c0ck" a bit harsh? :?
  • il_principeil_principe Posts: 9,152
    MatHammond wrote:
    Sounds like he was being friendly, "fatty" and "c0ck" a bit harsh? :?

    He's got prior form on this one. Likes to dispense pointless and unwanted advice once every few months. Point is he doesn't cycle so I dunno what makes him qualified to hand out advice - which he does in an irritatingly supercilious manner.

    He is a c0ck and a fat one at that. :D
    2015 Canyon Aeroad CF SLX
    2020 Canyon Ultimate CF SLX
    2020 Canyon Inflite SL 7
    On the Strand
    Crown Stables
  • lost_in_thoughtlost_in_thought Posts: 10,563
    People LOVE to give advice... the usual one I get is 'you should really wear a helmet, luv'.

    Funny enough, it's only even non-cyclists who dispense this helmet-related advice. Mind you, the vast majority of cyclists I know are you lot, and I think you've all realised I'm a lost cause there.

    Oh and 'you should really wear hi-viz, luv'.

    What else...

    'It's dangerous to ride a bike without gears'.

    Really? Are we sure about that?

    My favourite response is to smile and say 'I like to live dangerously'. There's really not a great deal they can say to that!
  • Clever PunClever Pun Posts: 6,778
    well at least he wasn't getting the lift for 1 floor, that pi$$es me off
    Purveyor of sonic doom

    Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
    Fixed Pista- FCN 5
    Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
  • il_principeil_principe Posts: 9,152
    Clever Pun wrote:
    well at least he wasn't getting the lift for 1 floor, that pi$$es me off

    I was though! In my defense the stairs are metal and slippy in SPD's and I had my bike. I stacked it down them once while carrying my bike. That hurt!
    2015 Canyon Aeroad CF SLX
    2020 Canyon Ultimate CF SLX
    2020 Canyon Inflite SL 7
    On the Strand
    Crown Stables
  • PorgyPorgy Posts: 4,525
    People LOVE to give advice... the usual one I get is 'you should really wear a helmet, luv'.

    Funny enough, it's only even non-cyclists who dispense this helmet-related advice. Mind you, the vast majority of cyclists I know are you lot, and I think you've all realised I'm a lost cause there.

    Oh and 'you should really wear hi-viz, luv'.

    What else...

    'It's dangerous to ride a bike without gears'.

    Really? Are we sure about that?

    My favourite response is to smile and say 'I like to live dangerously'. There's really not a great deal they can say to that!

    Ask them if they smoke, drink, eat fatty food, eat too much salt, or fail to do any exercise? All of these far more dangerous than cycling, and not as much fun (except maybe drinking).
  • lost_in_thoughtlost_in_thought Posts: 10,563
    Porgy wrote:
    People LOVE to give advice... the usual one I get is 'you should really wear a helmet, luv'.

    Funny enough, it's only even non-cyclists who dispense this helmet-related advice. Mind you, the vast majority of cyclists I know are you lot, and I think you've all realised I'm a lost cause there.

    Oh and 'you should really wear hi-viz, luv'.

    What else...

    'It's dangerous to ride a bike without gears'.

    Really? Are we sure about that?

    My favourite response is to smile and say 'I like to live dangerously'. There's really not a great deal they can say to that!

    Ask them if they smoke, drink, eat fatty food, eat too much salt, or fail to do any exercise? All of these far more dangerous than cycling, and not as much fun (except maybe drinking).

    No, because, you see, that would cause an argument. And I can't be bothered with an argument.
  • Jay dubbleUJay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    Porgy wrote:
    People LOVE to give advice... the usual one I get is 'you should really wear a helmet, luv'.

    Funny enough, it's only even non-cyclists who dispense this helmet-related advice. Mind you, the vast majority of cyclists I know are you lot, and I think you've all realised I'm a lost cause there.

    Oh and 'you should really wear hi-viz, luv'.

    What else...

    'It's dangerous to ride a bike without gears'.

    Really? Are we sure about that?

    My favourite response is to smile and say 'I like to live dangerously'. There's really not a great deal they can say to that!

    Ask them if they smoke, drink, eat fatty food, eat too much salt, or fail to do any exercise? All of these far more dangerous than cycling, and not as much fun (except maybe drinking).

    No, because, you see, that would cause an argument. And I can't be bothered with an argument.

    That's a very laid back response from a lady who makes grown men cry by overtaking them whilst apparently dressed for a garden party 8)
  • cjcpcjcp Posts: 13,345
    I've had this but the folks in our building are pretty friendly and are quite amused by it, often asking where I ride in from.
    FCN 2-4.

    "What happens when the hammer goes down, kids?"
    "It stays down, Daddy."
    "Exactly."
  • Eau RougeEau Rouge Posts: 1,118
    "It's safer than driving in London, though, isn't it?"
  • PorgyPorgy Posts: 4,525
    Eau Rouge wrote:
    "It's safer than driving in London, though, isn't it?"

    It's safer than being I pedestrian - I think.
  • richkrichk Posts: 564
    My usual response on cycling being dangerous is along the lines of "not as dangerous as me not cycling" then when they look baffled I explain that I don't want to have a heart attack at 50...
    There is no secret ingredient...
  • PorgyPorgy Posts: 4,525
    RichK wrote:
    My usual response on cycling being dangerous is along the lines of "not as dangerous as me not cycling" then when they look baffled I explain that I don't want to have a heart attack at 50...

    Two of my non-cycling colleagues have had heart attacks this summer alone. :?
  • hisokahisoka Posts: 541
    People LOVE to give advice... the usual one I get is 'you should really wear a helmet, luv'.

    Funny enough, it's only even non-cyclists who dispense this helmet-related advice. Mind you, the vast majority of cyclists I know are you lot, and I think you've all realised I'm a lost cause there.

    Oh and 'you should really wear hi-viz, luv'.

    What else...

    'It's dangerous to ride a bike without gears'.

    Really? Are we sure about that?

    My favourite response is to smile and say 'I like to live dangerously'. There's really not a great deal they can say to that!

    You should wear a helmet, a huge one shaped like a cup at the front, and hi-viz, the sort that is huge and flappy, also you need gears ones that spin your legs at 200rpm to get 5mph out of it. Then you might get enough drag to slow you down to normal human standards! :lol:
    Just kidding, all is personal choice I say. Never a bad word to other cyclists on attire, unless it is all black without lights at night on the wrong side of the road one-handed steering whilst texting. Then I have words, and far too often it has happened. Usually "what the censored ?" As I have to swerve out of the way.
    "This area left purposefully blank"
    Sign hung on my head everyday till noon.

    FCN: 11 (apparently)
  • secretsamsecretsam Posts: 4,947
    'you should really wear a helmet, luv'.

    Well, you really should

    Luv

    <<RUNS>> (running 'cos no bike today)

    It's just a hill. Get over it.
  • Clever PunClever Pun Posts: 6,778
    slightly off topic but an analogy nonetheless

    A few know I go to gigs a lot.. so I get the question "So with all these gigs you go to dioes it affect your hearing" my reply "Pardon?" sometimes I've done that 3 times before they realise
    Purveyor of sonic doom

    Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
    Fixed Pista- FCN 5
    Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
  • lost_in_thoughtlost_in_thought Posts: 10,563
    SecretSam wrote:
    'you should really wear a helmet, luv'.

    Well, you really should

    Luv

    <<RUNS>> (running 'cos no bike today)

    :lol::lol:
  • RoastieRoastie Posts: 1,968
    Working with what amounts to a disproportionate number of middle aged couch potatoes, I get it all the time. It *really* gets on my nerves (but then again I am in particularly [email protected] mood today).

    The most annoying is when colleagues are getting into their cars and see me unlocking and say "you ride home safe now". That is like pepper up my @rse. :evil:
  • paul.skibumpaul.skibum Posts: 4,068
    I like the people who seem to assume you ride a bike because you cant afford a car - they are just super.

    On the helmet/no helmet thing - the only time it bugs me is when I see people with a helmet but hanging from the bars or their bag or something - I can understand some people dont want to wear one but if you have one, with you, put the thing on for gods sake!
    Closet jockey wheel pimp censored .
  • Clever PunClever Pun Posts: 6,778
    Roastie wrote:
    . That is like pepper up my @rse. :evil:

    What does that feel like then?
    Purveyor of sonic doom

    Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
    Fixed Pista- FCN 5
    Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
  • secretsamsecretsam Posts: 4,947
    I like the people who seem to assume you ride a bike because you cant afford a car - they are just super.

    It baffles people at work when I indicate that I ride to the station to avoid the need for a second car, at £2k per annum running cost + £700 for parking permit. Then I mention that I SOLD a car and started cycling and they just implode.

    Whenever I mention that I 'drove somewhere' they are stunned, perhaps they think I can't drive...I mean, why would you cycle when you can drive? I mean, why??

    It's just a hill. Get over it.
  • secretsamsecretsam Posts: 4,947
    Clever Pun wrote:
    Roastie wrote:
    . That is like pepper up my @rse. :evil:

    What does that feel like then?

    Probably not dissimilar to salt 'n' vinegar on yer n0b :lol::lol:

    It's just a hill. Get over it.
  • R_T_AR_T_A Posts: 488
    Clever Pun wrote:
    Roastie wrote:
    . That is like pepper up my @rse. :evil:

    What does that feel like then?

    Not as bad as mustard.
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    FCN 8
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  • NGaleNGale Posts: 1,866
    R_T_A wrote:
    Clever Pun wrote:
    Roastie wrote:
    . That is like pepper up my @rse. :evil:

    What does that feel like then?

    Not as bad as mustard.

    Or deep heat from what I've heard :roll:

    I've apologiesed many, many times for that, he still hasn't forgiven me.
    Officers don't run, it's undignified and panics the men
  • Stone GliderStone Glider Posts: 1,227
    It is assumed that I am cycling as a form of medical torture to avoid death. (Which is partly true TBH) When i protest that i love riding a bike - what even in the rain? what even in the cold? what even in the winter? YES YES YES

    They usually shut up then but some start long tales involving rides undertaken by them before the dawn of time. As I am a cyclist I must find them interesting, of course. :roll:
    The older I get the faster I was
  • Stuey01Stuey01 Posts: 1,273
    On the helmet/no helmet thing - the only time it bugs me is when I see people with a helmet but hanging from the bars or their bag or something - I can understand some people dont want to wear one but if you have one, with you, put the thing on for gods sake!
    Me too, this winds me right up!
    Some of them have it swinging from their bars, just begging to get tangled up in something and cause them to have an accident...
    If you don't want to wear one then don't, but what is this all about?

    Probably dude's who's gf has insisted on the helmet and they haven't got the stones to say no, so leave the house wearing it then off it comes and onto the bars...
    Not climber, not sprinter, not rouleur
  • Robmanic1Robmanic1 Posts: 2,150
    Stuey01 wrote:
    On the helmet/no helmet thing - the only time it bugs me is when I see people with a helmet but hanging from the bars or their bag or something - I can understand some people dont want to wear one but if you have one, with you, put the thing on for gods sake!
    Me too, this winds me right up!
    Some of them have it swinging from their bars, just begging to get tangled up in something and cause them to have an accident...
    If you don't want to wear one then don't, but what is this all about?

    Probably dude's who's gf has insisted on the helmet and they haven't got the stones to say no, so leave the house wearing it then off it comes and onto the bars...

    Perhaps they wait until they're about to crash and pop it on sharpish-like, makes perfect sense to me, best of both worlds.
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  • Stuey01Stuey01 Posts: 1,273
    Robmanic1 wrote:
    Stuey01 wrote:
    On the helmet/no helmet thing - the only time it bugs me is when I see people with a helmet but hanging from the bars or their bag or something - I can understand some people dont want to wear one but if you have one, with you, put the thing on for gods sake!
    Me too, this winds me right up!
    Some of them have it swinging from their bars, just begging to get tangled up in something and cause them to have an accident...
    If you don't want to wear one then don't, but what is this all about?

    Probably dude's who's gf has insisted on the helmet and they haven't got the stones to say no, so leave the house wearing it then off it comes and onto the bars...

    Perhaps they wait until they're about to crash and pop it on sharpish-like, makes perfect sense to me, best of both worlds.

    Ah, genius. How stupid do I feel, riding along in my helmet when I'm not even falling off.
    Not climber, not sprinter, not rouleur
  • PorgyPorgy Posts: 4,525
    Stuey01 wrote:
    it bugs me...when I see people with a helmet but hanging from the bars or their bag or something
    Me too, this winds me right up!
    .


    Jeeez, chill out. I ride a bike to relax...not get worked up about what every other rider is up to. :lol:
  • tailwindhometailwindhome Posts: 18,135
    Stuey01 wrote:
    Robmanic1 wrote:
    Stuey01 wrote:
    On the helmet/no helmet thing - the only time it bugs me is when I see people with a helmet but hanging from the bars or their bag or something - I can understand some people dont want to wear one but if you have one, with you, put the thing on for gods sake!
    Me too, this winds me right up!
    Some of them have it swinging from their bars, just begging to get tangled up in something and cause them to have an accident...
    If you don't want to wear one then don't, but what is this all about?

    Probably dude's who's gf has insisted on the helmet and they haven't got the stones to say no, so leave the house wearing it then off it comes and onto the bars...

    Perhaps they wait until they're about to crash and pop it on sharpish-like, makes perfect sense to me, best of both worlds.

    Ah, genius. How stupid do I feel, riding along in my helmet when I'm not even falling off.

    Someone really should start a thread so we can debate this issue to a well thought out conclusion
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