SCR - Failed apprenticeship...
iclestu
Posts: 503
Dunno what you SCR guys will make of this debacle.......
Iclestu is on his way to work this morning and at a long, straight, very slight uphill section on a country lane. I spot another cyclist in the distance....
Now, anyone who has seen my on my bike would know just how ridiculous the prospect of me racing anyone is, but... but... I know I am getting fitter and this is on the early part of my commute so decided to pedal hard and see if I could catch him. To my utter shock I am gaining on him. Noticably.
As I get closer I can see he is a 'proper' cyclist. A lycra clad roadie.... and I am gaining on him. I am actually gaining on him. What is the expression? "Reeling him in". I cannot begin to tell you just how excited I was!
In truth, he was likely warming up or cooling down or just pootling for a bit or lost or ill or whatever, but who gives a feck? I'm an overweight lump of lard on a sh1tty mail-order hybrid with mudguards and laden panniers and by God I'm gonna pedal like a bat out of hell to try and pass him!!!! Can you imagine what it'd be like to breeze past him!? So pedal like a bat out of hell I did, and I was catching him I was really catching him, until....
With my thighs and ar$se SCREAMING for mercy and sweat litereally pouring off me I am just getting close enough to consider the manouvre. All the time I am thinking 'please dont notice me and speed off, please dont, please', when, all of a sudden. the dirty, rotten spoilsport turns off to the left completely unexpectedly as I continue straight ahead...... NOOOOOOO! Any witnesses to this incident may well have seen a 6ft, fat, hairy lump on a bicycle wail like a little girl. It's an injustice.....
But, guys and gals, it gets worse than that - Oh no, we are not done yet......
In the absence of the target, adrenaline dissapears and I simply have to concede to the lactic acid build-up and burning lungs. So I slow right down. I am just pootling along trying to get my breath back musing what might have been. I was almost allowing myselft to consider the pride I would have had in recounting the tale of 'the overtake that never was' in this very forum when, it happens....
the ultimate indignity....
A fecking fully-laden postie on a bike passes me with a cheery 'good morning' and dissapears up ahead then up some farm track. :oops:
Clearly, I have much to learn before I can consider the merits of the world of the SCR
Iclestu is on his way to work this morning and at a long, straight, very slight uphill section on a country lane. I spot another cyclist in the distance....
Now, anyone who has seen my on my bike would know just how ridiculous the prospect of me racing anyone is, but... but... I know I am getting fitter and this is on the early part of my commute so decided to pedal hard and see if I could catch him. To my utter shock I am gaining on him. Noticably.
As I get closer I can see he is a 'proper' cyclist. A lycra clad roadie.... and I am gaining on him. I am actually gaining on him. What is the expression? "Reeling him in". I cannot begin to tell you just how excited I was!
In truth, he was likely warming up or cooling down or just pootling for a bit or lost or ill or whatever, but who gives a feck? I'm an overweight lump of lard on a sh1tty mail-order hybrid with mudguards and laden panniers and by God I'm gonna pedal like a bat out of hell to try and pass him!!!! Can you imagine what it'd be like to breeze past him!? So pedal like a bat out of hell I did, and I was catching him I was really catching him, until....
With my thighs and ar$se SCREAMING for mercy and sweat litereally pouring off me I am just getting close enough to consider the manouvre. All the time I am thinking 'please dont notice me and speed off, please dont, please', when, all of a sudden. the dirty, rotten spoilsport turns off to the left completely unexpectedly as I continue straight ahead...... NOOOOOOO! Any witnesses to this incident may well have seen a 6ft, fat, hairy lump on a bicycle wail like a little girl. It's an injustice.....
But, guys and gals, it gets worse than that - Oh no, we are not done yet......
In the absence of the target, adrenaline dissapears and I simply have to concede to the lactic acid build-up and burning lungs. So I slow right down. I am just pootling along trying to get my breath back musing what might have been. I was almost allowing myselft to consider the pride I would have had in recounting the tale of 'the overtake that never was' in this very forum when, it happens....
the ultimate indignity....
A fecking fully-laden postie on a bike passes me with a cheery 'good morning' and dissapears up ahead then up some farm track. :oops:
Clearly, I have much to learn before I can consider the merits of the world of the SCR
FCN 7: Dawes Galaxy Ultra 2012 - sofa-like comfort to eat up the miles
Reserve: 2010 Boardman CX Pro
Reserve: 2010 Boardman CX Pro
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Comments
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nicely written, that must have brewing away in you all day that little story! You've learned a lot there, when you do take a scalp it will be even sweeter.0
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iclestu wrote:Dunno what you SCR guys will make of this debacle.......
Iclestu is on his way to work this morning and at a long, straight, very slight uphill section on a country lane. I spot another cyclist in the distance....
Now, anyone who has seen my on my bike would know just how ridiculous the prospect of me racing anyone is, but... but... I know I am getting fitter and this is on the early part of my commute so decided to pedal hard and see if I could catch him. To my utter shock I am gaining on him. Noticably.
As I get closer I can see he is a 'proper' cyclist. A lycra clad roadie.... and I am gaining on him. I am actually gaining on him. What is the expression? "Reeling him in". I cannot begin to tell you just how excited I was!
In truth, he was likely warming up or cooling down or just pootling for a bit or lost or ill or whatever, but who gives a feck? I'm an overweight lump of lard on a sh1tty mail-order hybrid with mudguards and laden panniers and by God I'm gonna pedal like a bat out of hell to try and pass him!!!! Can you imagine what it'd be like to breeze past him!? So pedal like a bat out of hell I did, and I was catching him I was really catching him, until....
With my thighs and ar$se SCREAMING for mercy and sweat litereally pouring off me I am just getting close enough to consider the manouvre. All the time I am thinking 'please dont notice me and speed off, please dont, please', when, all of a sudden. the dirty, rotten spoilsport turns off to the left completely unexpectedly as I continue straight ahead...... NOOOOOOO! Any witnesses to this incident may well have seen a 6ft, fat, hairy lump on a bicycle wail like a little girl. It's an injustice.....
But, guys and gals, it gets worse than that - Oh no, we are not done yet......
In the absence of the target, adrenaline dissapears and I simply have to concede to the lactic acid build-up and burning lungs. So I slow right down. I am just pootling along trying to get my breath back musing what might have been. I was almost allowing myselft to consider the pride I would have had in recounting the tale of 'the overtake that never was' in this very forum when, it happens....
the ultimate indignity....
A fecking fully-laden postie on a bike passes me with a cheery 'good morning' and dissapears up ahead then up some farm track. :oops:
Clearly, I have much to learn before I can consider the merits of the world of the SCR
Hehe Excellent, But think of it this way, Mr Postman will ride that bike every day, in all weather and will have lots of extra weight in post to build up his strength, So use that as a multiplyer and basically you were past, only just, by Sir Chirs Hoy..........Move along now, nothing to see here peeps.On a Mission to lose 20 stone..Get My Life Back
December 2007 - 39 Stone 05 Lbs
July 2011 - 13 Stone 12 Lbs - Cycled 17851 Miles
http://39stonecyclist.com
Now the hard work starts.0 -
iclestu, you did good to give it a go and I reckon you'll get your first scalp before too long
You 'report writing' skills are good too. Definitely a LOL moment over here0 -
Love it.
One day, young Jedi, one day...0 -
lost_in_thought wrote:Love it.
One day, young Jedi, one day...
Padawan PLEASE
Remember, your anger makes you strong. Embrace the Dark Side and gain POWER over the shaven roadie....
You feared the failure and hated the idea of losing, but you did not embrace the Dark Side and bring about his suffering.
Were you to own a CX bike his soul would now be yours.....
Fear Leads To Anger, Anger Leads To Hate, Hate Leads to Suffering...Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
Kieran_Burns wrote:lost_in_thought wrote:Love it.
One day, young Jedi, one day...
Padawan PLEASE
Remember, your anger makes you strong. Embrace the Dark Side and gain POWER over the shaven roadie....
You feared the failure and hated the idea of losing, but you did not embrace the Dark Side and bring about his suffering.
Were you to own a CX bike his soul would now be yours.....
Fear Leads To Anger, Anger Leads To Hate, Hate Leads to Suffering...
He should know, He chases burdsOn a Mission to lose 20 stone..Get My Life Back
December 2007 - 39 Stone 05 Lbs
July 2011 - 13 Stone 12 Lbs - Cycled 17851 Miles
http://39stonecyclist.com
Now the hard work starts.0 -
gb155 wrote:Kieran_Burns wrote:lost_in_thought wrote:Love it.
One day, young Jedi, one day...
Padawan PLEASE
Remember, your anger makes you strong. Embrace the Dark Side and gain POWER over the shaven roadie....
You feared the failure and hated the idea of losing, but you did not embrace the Dark Side and bring about his suffering.
Were you to own a CX bike his soul would now be yours.....
Fear Leads To Anger, Anger Leads To Hate, Hate Leads to Suffering...
He should know, He chases burds
Chasing burds doesnt lead to suffering.
It's only when you catch one that the misery set's in.....FCN 7: Dawes Galaxy Ultra 2012 - sofa-like comfort to eat up the miles
Reserve: 2010 Boardman CX Pro0 -
A very healthy pasttime I'll have you know
Unlike these bleeding commando roadies comparing leg shaving tips..... :PChunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
prj45 wrote:You shoulda turned left after him and smashed his front wheel over his head, just because.
+1
This man has a point !!!!On a Mission to lose 20 stone..Get My Life Back
December 2007 - 39 Stone 05 Lbs
July 2011 - 13 Stone 12 Lbs - Cycled 17851 Miles
http://39stonecyclist.com
Now the hard work starts.0 -
Love it.FCN 2-4.
"What happens when the hammer goes down, kids?"
"It stays down, Daddy."
"Exactly."0 -
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gb155 wrote:Mr Postman will ride that bike every day ...
What about Sundays? :P0 -
White Line wrote:gb155 wrote:Mr Postman will ride that bike every day ...
What about Sundays? :P
true true, though some seem to take their bikes home, see the odd still in service postie bikes parked in frontgardens etc overnight and taking (small kids home from school)
I still haven't gotten over the quaint image of the postie bikes, they don't use them around where i grew up.0 -
iclestu wrote:Dunno what you SCR guys will make of this debacle.......
Next time.David
Engineered Bicycles0 -
I'd say you understand SCR exactly - the unfortunate balance of trying to catch a higher chainer to enhance kudos, coupled with the soul sapping indignity of being passed by someone lower on the scale.
I find the sorry tales of lost battles far more amusing than the wanton chest thumping stories of passing eddy merckx down on embankment.
bloody brilliant! why isn't this in the SCR thread?0 -
You have to gamble big to win big - if you are putting in less than you can afford to lose your win won't make a difference.
However - if you take everything you have and put it on black then your win will be massive.
Of course if it comes up red (like a postman's bike) you are in the merde.
Oh what could have been.Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
Brilliant story, and we've all experienced it at some time.
I used to get scalped by a Brompton during the Winter months, but with a year's extra commuting under my belt I'm waiting to open up an exotic can of "@ss de Whoop" when I see him next :twisted:
And just think how much more you pushed yourself - perfect SCR mentalityGiant Escape R1
FCN 8
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
- Terry Pratchett.0 -
Chapeau Iclestu, you will catch one one day, and it will be all the sweeter when you do.
Meantime, just think yourself lucky you weren't passed by one of these
"Impressive break"
"Thanks...
...I can taste blood"0 -
Haha, loser.
I had a very frustrating run in with some big legged half roadie this morning who kept RLJing only to have me overtake him (Without much effort) everytime. All the way from the fulham road to vauxhall bridge.0