SCR - Failed apprenticeship...

iclestu

Dunno what you SCR guys will make of this debacle.......

Iclestu is on his way to work this morning and at a long, straight, very slight uphill section on a country lane. I spot another cyclist in the distance....

Now, anyone who has seen my on my bike would know just how ridiculous the prospect of me racing anyone is, but... but... I know I am getting fitter and this is on the early part of my commute so decided to pedal hard and see if I could catch him. To my utter shock I am gaining on him. Noticably.

As I get closer I can see he is a 'proper' cyclist. A lycra clad roadie.... and I am gaining on him. I am actually gaining on him. What is the expression? "Reeling him in". I cannot begin to tell you just how excited I was!

In truth, he was likely warming up or cooling down or just pootling for a bit or lost or ill or whatever, but who gives a feck? I'm an overweight lump of lard on a sh1tty mail-order hybrid with mudguards and laden panniers and by God I'm gonna pedal like a bat out of hell to try and pass him!!!! Can you imagine what it'd be like to breeze past him!? So pedal like a bat out of hell I did, and I was catching him I was really catching him, until....

With my thighs and ar$se SCREAMING for mercy and sweat litereally pouring off me I am just getting close enough to consider the manouvre. All the time I am thinking 'please dont notice me and speed off, please dont, please', when, all of a sudden. the dirty, rotten spoilsport turns off to the left completely unexpectedly as I continue straight ahead...... NOOOOOOO! Any witnesses to this incident may well have seen a 6ft, fat, hairy lump on a bicycle wail like a little girl. It's an injustice.....

But, guys and gals, it gets worse than that - Oh no, we are not done yet......

In the absence of the target, adrenaline dissapears and I simply have to concede to the lactic acid build-up and burning lungs. So I slow right down. I am just pootling along trying to get my breath back musing what might have been. I was almost allowing myselft to consider the pride I would have had in recounting the tale of 'the overtake that never was' in this very forum when, it happens....


the ultimate indignity....


A fecking fully-laden postie on a bike passes me with a cheery 'good morning' and dissapears up ahead then up some farm track. :oops:

Clearly, I have much to learn before I can consider the merits of the world of the SCR

salsajake

nicely written, that must have brewing away in you all day that little story! You've learned a lot there, when you do take a scalp it will be even sweeter.

gb155

iclestu wrote:

Dunno what you SCR guys will make of this debacle.......

Iclestu is on his way to work this morning and at a long, straight, very slight uphill section on a country lane. I spot another cyclist in the distance....

Now, anyone who has seen my on my bike would know just how ridiculous the prospect of me racing anyone is, but... but... I know I am getting fitter and this is on the early part of my commute so decided to pedal hard and see if I could catch him. To my utter shock I am gaining on him. Noticably.

As I get closer I can see he is a 'proper' cyclist. A lycra clad roadie.... and I am gaining on him. I am actually gaining on him. What is the expression? "Reeling him in". I cannot begin to tell you just how excited I was!

In truth, he was likely warming up or cooling down or just pootling for a bit or lost or ill or whatever, but who gives a feck? I'm an overweight lump of lard on a sh1tty mail-order hybrid with mudguards and laden panniers and by God I'm gonna pedal like a bat out of hell to try and pass him!!!! Can you imagine what it'd be like to breeze past him!? So pedal like a bat out of hell I did, and I was catching him I was really catching him, until....

With my thighs and ar$se SCREAMING for mercy and sweat litereally pouring off me I am just getting close enough to consider the manouvre. All the time I am thinking 'please dont notice me and speed off, please dont, please', when, all of a sudden. the dirty, rotten spoilsport turns off to the left completely unexpectedly as I continue straight ahead...... NOOOOOOO! Any witnesses to this incident may well have seen a 6ft, fat, hairy lump on a bicycle wail like a little girl. It's an injustice.....

But, guys and gals, it gets worse than that - Oh no, we are not done yet......

In the absence of the target, adrenaline dissapears and I simply have to concede to the lactic acid build-up and burning lungs. So I slow right down. I am just pootling along trying to get my breath back musing what might have been. I was almost allowing myselft to consider the pride I would have had in recounting the tale of 'the overtake that never was' in this very forum when, it happens....


the ultimate indignity....


A fecking fully-laden postie on a bike passes me with a cheery 'good morning' and dissapears up ahead then up some farm track. :oops:

Clearly, I have much to learn before I can consider the merits of the world of the SCR

Hehe Excellent, But think of it this way, Mr Postman will ride that bike every day, in all weather and will have lots of extra weight in post to build up his strength, So use that as a multiplyer and basically you were past, only just, by Sir Chirs Hoy..........Move along now, nothing to see here peeps.

Cafewanda

iclestu, you did good to give it a go and I reckon you'll get your first scalp before too long

You 'report writing' skills are good too. Definitely a LOL moment over here

lost_in_thought

Love it.

One day, young Jedi, one day...

Kieran_Burns

lost_in_thought wrote:

Love it.

One day, young Jedi, one day...

Padawan PLEASE


Remember, your anger makes you strong. Embrace the Dark Side and gain POWER over the shaven roadie....

You feared the failure and hated the idea of losing, but you did not embrace the Dark Side and bring about his suffering.

Were you to own a CX bike his soul would now be yours.....



Fear Leads To Anger, Anger Leads To Hate, Hate Leads to Suffering...

gb155

Kieran_Burns wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Love it.

One day, young Jedi, one day...

Padawan PLEASE


Remember, your anger makes you strong. Embrace the Dark Side and gain POWER over the shaven roadie....

You feared the failure and hated the idea of losing, but you did not embrace the Dark Side and bring about his suffering.

Were you to own a CX bike his soul would now be yours.....



Fear Leads To Anger, Anger Leads To Hate, Hate Leads to Suffering...

He should know, He chases burds

iclestu

gb155 wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Love it.

One day, young Jedi, one day...

Padawan PLEASE


Remember, your anger makes you strong. Embrace the Dark Side and gain POWER over the shaven roadie....

You feared the failure and hated the idea of losing, but you did not embrace the Dark Side and bring about his suffering.

Were you to own a CX bike his soul would now be yours.....



Fear Leads To Anger, Anger Leads To Hate, Hate Leads to Suffering...

He should know, He chases burds

Chasing burds doesnt lead to suffering.

It's only when you catch one that the misery set's in.....

Kieran_Burns

A very healthy pasttime I'll have you know

Unlike these bleeding commando roadies comparing leg shaving tips..... :P

prj45

You shoulda turned left after him and smashed his front wheel over his head, just because.

gb155

prj45 wrote:

You shoulda turned left after him and smashed his front wheel over his head, just because.

+1

This man has a point !!!!

cjcp

Love it.

greg66_tri_v2.0

Woah! What's that Postie got on his plate?

Oh yeah.

Your @ss! And he's handing to you!


Never mind. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

White Line

gb155 wrote:

Mr Postman will ride that bike every day ...

What about Sundays? :P

roger_merriman

White Line wrote:

gb155 wrote:

Mr Postman will ride that bike every day ...

What about Sundays? :P

true true, though some seem to take their bikes home, see the odd still in service postie bikes parked in frontgardens etc overnight and taking (small kids home from school)

I still haven't gotten over the quaint image of the postie bikes, they don't use them around where i grew up.

Roastie

iclestu wrote:

Dunno what you SCR guys will make of this debacle.......

iclestu, you made my morning - brilliant tale.

Next time.

shoulder_of_orion

I'd say you understand SCR exactly - the unfortunate balance of trying to catch a higher chainer to enhance kudos, coupled with the soul sapping indignity of being passed by someone lower on the scale.

I find the sorry tales of lost battles far more amusing than the wanton chest thumping stories of passing eddy merckx down on embankment.

bloody brilliant! why isn't this in the SCR thread?

Greg T

You have to gamble big to win big - if you are putting in less than you can afford to lose your win won't make a difference.

However - if you take everything you have and put it on black then your win will be massive.

Of course if it comes up red (like a postman's bike) you are in the merde.

Oh what could have been.

R_T_A

Brilliant story, and we've all experienced it at some time.

I used to get scalped by a Brompton during the Winter months, but with a year's extra commuting under my belt I'm waiting to open up an exotic can of "@ss de Whoop" when I see him next :twisted:

And just think how much more you pushed yourself - perfect SCR mentality

attica

Chapeau Iclestu, you will catch one one day, and it will be all the sweeter when you do.

Meantime, just think yourself lucky you weren't passed by one of these

LDN-Flyer

Haha, loser.

I had a very frustrating run in with some big legged half roadie this morning who kept RLJing only to have me overtake him (Without much effort) everytime. All the way from the fulham road to vauxhall bridge.