No flies on me!

Kieran_Burns

I'm lying.

There were THOUSANDS!! :shock:

Well, okay dozens. :?

I get home and strip off to get in the shower and my chest is peppered with black lumps and some of the buggers are still moving!

ARGH! EUGH! MINGING!!! :shock: :shock:

I get in the shower and the bath is awash with black lumps from chest, my hair, my face... Oh Good God that was disgusting!

I'm going to work in a spacesuit tomorrow :roll:

Apart from the extra weight gained while getting home, it was a damn fine ride again. I **almost** managed to scalp a full on roadie on a Time Trial (!) but the git wound down just as I caught up with him and pulled in to get to the end station. Damn, damn, damn. :evil:

Gussio

Flies or fleas...?

redvee

If you had that many on your chest, how many could have gone in your mouth :shock:

Kieran_Burns

redvee wrote:

If you had that many on your chest, how many could have gone in your mouth :shock:

Feckin' LOADS! :evil:

I had to have my head down for large sections of the commute and the bridleway was just one long splat-fest as the damn' things bounced off my ample forehead.

I kept having to brush my hair out as I could feel the things wiggling around in there.... :?

I had one HELL of a long shower when I got home.

tardington

My gf went into a spit-frenzy when a fly went into her mouth (we were cycling btw).

I didn't like to tell her I just eat them.

Kieran_Burns

tardington wrote:

My gf went into a spit-frenzy when a fly went into her mouth (we were cycling btw).

I didn't like to tell her I just eat them.

Never speak to me again.

tardington

1) Protein and sugars for energy boost

2) Taste not half bad

3) Don't eat bees. They taste stingy.

Jay dubbleU

Just rest that last post and now being stared at by the rest of the office having gone into a fit - cheers Tardie

boneyjoe

Some handy info below.

It has been calculated that there are approximately 10,000 for
every single human being - that's about 60,000,000,000,000 flies.
Throughout the world there are more than 85,000 different species of fly.
During her 25-day lifespan, a female fly can lay more than 600 eggs.
Even when a fly looks as though it's bouncing all around a room, it has probably got everything under control.
Flies have a very sophisticated in-built gyroscope that constantly stabilises their movement.
Flies can take off in any direction, not just forwards like most creatures.
Because
flies feet are sticky, they usually pick up small amounts of whatever
they're standing in and take it to the next place that they go.
A single fly is capable of carrying more than 6-million bacteria. As with many other insects, flies taste by using their feet.
A typical houselfy can live for one month
A mayfly will only usually live for about one hour

UndercoverElephant

I think I rode through several swarms last night. I had masses on my face and chest. They were greenfly though, so not at all bad tasting, could do with proper seasoning though.

But the housefly that managed to make it all the way into my lungs one night was an altogether different story. I've never coughed so hard in my life. :shock:

Deadeye Duck

boneyjoe wrote:

Some handy info below.

It has been calculated that flies annoy
every single human being - that's a lot of annoying flies.
Throughout the world there are more than 85,000 different species of annoying fly.
During her 25-day lifespan, a fly can pi$$ off atleast 600 humans.
Even when a fly looks as though it's bouncing all around a room, it has probably got everything under control up untill the moment it notices the window and then proceeds to fly into it for the next 25% of it's lifespan.
Flies have a very sophisticated in-built gyroscope that constantly stabilises their movement. Meaning no matter how many times it flys into the window, it will stay flying in order to give it another go.
Flies can take off in any direction, not just forwards like most creatures, making them hard to swat with a rolled up newspaper.
Because flies feet are sticky, shaking your arm in a manic and embarrasing style will not effect the fly's grip to your sleeve one little bit.
A single fly is capable of carrying more than 6-million bacteria and so is bound to be carrying the next deadly version of flu.
A typical houselfy can live for one month, but generally lasts only 5 minutes after getting through the window of your grandparents house, because granny has bought every insect related product from the kleeneze catalogue.
A mayfly will only usually live for about one hour, because it is much quicker at finding granny's open window.

Fixed that for you.

artaxerxes

Don't wear yellow shirts, apparently they attract lots of insects that eat pollen.

boneyjoe

Thks Deadeye - I particularly like the one that says "bouncing around a room, with probably everything under control". Pretty good description of my riding style!

woodyonthebeach

linoue wrote:

Don't wear yellow shirts, apparently they attract lots of insects that eat pollen.

yes they do. was in the pub last night and I was a beacon they were heading for.

Really pissed me off.

Gussio

woodyonthebeach wrote:

linoue wrote:

Don't wear yellow shirts, apparently they attract lots of insects that eat pollen.

yes they do. was in the pub last night and I was a beacon they were heading for.

Really pissed me off.

Shame that wearing yellow in the pub doesn't have the same attractive pull for birds...

woodyonthebeach

Gussio wrote:

woodyonthebeach wrote:

linoue wrote:

Don't wear yellow shirts, apparently they attract lots of insects that eat pollen.

yes they do. was in the pub last night and I was a beacon they were heading for.

Really pissed me off.

Shame that wearing yellow in the pub doesn't have the same attractive pull for birds...

could have been very painful as the MRS was with me. but I do agree with what your saying.