Cock Car Drivers.

fungus_the_muffin_man

What is it with certain type of car drivers who feel the need to disregard a cyclists saftey? I was coming up to some parked cars. So had looked quickly behind and noticed this merc coming up behind me slowly in my peripheral vision. As I'm going past the cars he decides to overtake me giving me about 15cm between me and him and blasts his fooking horn at me whilst looking in his side mirrors to see what reaction he got. The day before that I'd had a Audi A4 over take me quickly then slam on to turn left ,right infront of me causing me to have to brake quickly to avoid him. Rather than just wait a few seconds for me to go past the junction.
The air was blue and not just cos it was sunny

I suppose dodgy drivers are just something I need to get used to :evil:

blu3cat

I am afraid inconsiderate car drivers are something you will need to get used to. In the end my tirade of abuse directed to bad driving has gone to a trickle as it's just easier to shake my head and get on with the ride.

Any amount of abuse, guidance about their driving is not going to make an iota of difference to the drivers. :roll:

bobtbuilder

The day before that I'd had a Audi A4 over take me quickly then slam on to turn left ,right infront of me causing me to have to brake quickly to avoid him.

A Range Rover did this to me last Summer. I gesticulated at the driver who promptly gave me the finger. I completely lost the plot (red mist) and beat the sh*t out of the side of his vehicle with my mini pump.

Not my finest hour :oops:

simon johnson

On two occasions whilst cycling through Hackney I've had a car slow down to about 6 metres in front of me to then have the driver spray me with the windscreen jets! -spot on headshot, I reckon they've been modified somehow; seemed quite powerful.

Anyhow, on one of those occasions, the inevitable happened: I caught up with the driver in traffic and delivered him the biggest, stickiest wad of phelgm, all over the passenger's window- not my wisest act I know but this was the second spraying in less than two weeks- getting sprayed all over my glasses was quite an inconvenience.

And recently, to my great misfortune, I punctured one drizzly morning in Hackney. I'm about to get on with it, when I spot it: LC51 FHR, the reg plate of the first spraying idiot's black BMW- oh Lord! So I now I know where he lives.....perhaps I should leave a note under the wipers?

Beware of this new phenomenon sweeping through the east of London.

jrduquemin

I'd go round and slash his tyres..... :twisted:

blu3cat

or superglue his washer jet openings?

Anonymous

Stick a potato right up his exhaust pipe, he won't be able to start his car and have to go to a garage.

This isn't a euphimism for something else, really, get a potato :twisted:

Porgy

simon johnson wrote:

On two occasions whilst cycling through Hackney I've had a car slow down to about 6 metres in front of me to then have the driver spray me with the windscreen jets! -spot on headshot, I reckon they've been modified somehow; seemed quite powerful.

Anyhow, on one of those occasions, the inevitable happened: I caught up with the driver in traffic and delivered him the biggest, stickiest wad of phelgm, all over the passenger's window- not my wisest act I know but this was the second spraying in less than two weeks- getting sprayed all over my glasses was quite an inconvenience.

And recently, to my great misfortune, I punctured one drizzly morning in Hackney. I'm about to get on with it, when I spot it: LC51 FHR, the reg plate of the first spraying idiot's black BMW- oh Lord! So I now I know where he lives.....perhaps I should leave a note under the wipers?

Beware of this new phenomenon sweeping through the east of London.

It's not new - I remember it happening to me in the 80s - not even on a bike, crossing the road behind a car and i got soaked.

TBH I don;t even think the driver is aware of it so gobbing on the windscreen is probably not the best strategy - going up to driver with water dripping off you and explaining what just happened might get better results.

simon johnson

Porgy wrote:

simon johnson wrote:

On two occasions whilst cycling through Hackney I've had a car slow down to about 6 metres in front of me to then have the driver spray me with the windscreen jets! -spot on headshot, I reckon they've been modified somehow; seemed quite powerful.

Anyhow, on one of those occasions, the inevitable happened: I caught up with the driver in traffic and delivered him the biggest, stickiest wad of phelgm, all over the passenger's window- not my wisest act I know but this was the second spraying in less than two weeks- getting sprayed all over my glasses was quite an inconvenience.

And recently, to my great misfortune, I punctured one drizzly morning in Hackney. I'm about to get on with it, when I spot it: LC51 FHR, the reg plate of the first spraying idiot's black BMW- oh Lord! So I now I know where he lives.....perhaps I should leave a note under the wipers?

Beware of this new phenomenon sweeping through the east of London.

It's not new - I remember it happening to me in the 80s - not even on a bike, crossing the road behind a car and i got soaked.

TBH I don;t even think the driver is aware of it so gobbing on the windscreen is probably not the best strategy - going up to driver with water dripping off you and explaining what just happened might get better results.

Nah, the road ahead was free; he slowed significantly and tried to centre the car directly ahead of me....not to mention him being 'max power'; tinted windows; extra fairing, the lot. I doubt the jet of water even touched his windscreen; perhaps that's the reason he sprayed it about fifteen times? That pretty much applies to both drivers.

An intentional soaking it was.

a_n_t

its funny that they seemingly always have alot to say but never stop to discuss it!

chaffordred

I love it when you get a car go past and some smart arsed oik decides it's clever to shout something, they then speed off, you get out of the saddle into a sprint and catch them at a set of lights about two miles down the road.

I usually tap on the window and ask what they wanted. The look on their face is priceless.

That reminds me. A mate of mine got smacked on the arse with a newspaper by a passenger in a car. He saw red and went after them only to find the car a couple of miles down the road at the local pub. Apparently the beer garden was full and he races up, jump off his bike only to find he's still clipped in He ended up falling sideways and rolling round on the floor shouting, "ok which one of you ba*tards was it?"

mask of sanity

simon johnson wrote:

On two occasions whilst cycling through Hackney I've had a car slow down to about 6 metres in front of me to then have the driver spray me with the windscreen jets! -spot on headshot, I reckon they've been modified somehow; seemed quite powerful.

It's horrible that people do that kind of thing, but give them a bit of credit! At leats it's original and taken a bit of effortl! Im getting bored of people trying to scare me by shouting at me as they go past! I don't think they realise that when you're going faster then about 20mph you can't hear a great deal because of the wind! So put a car engine noise on top of that and the fleeting time in which they're actually next to you and you really can't hear them very well at all!

juankerr

simon johnson wrote:

On two occasions whilst cycling through Hackney I've had a car slow down to about 6 metres in front of me to then have the driver spray me with the windscreen jets! -spot on headshot, I reckon they've been modified somehow; seemed quite powerful.

Anyhow, on one of those occasions, the inevitable happened: I caught up with the driver in traffic and delivered him the biggest, stickiest wad of phelgm, all over the passenger's window- not my wisest act I know but this was the second spraying in less than two weeks- getting sprayed all over my glasses was quite an inconvenience.

And recently, to my great misfortune, I punctured one drizzly morning in Hackney. I'm about to get on with it, when I spot it: LC51 FHR, the reg plate of the first spraying idiot's black BMW- oh Lord! So I now I know where he lives.....perhaps I should leave a note under the wipers?

Beware of this new phenomenon sweeping through the east of London.

Black BMW 325i convertible? yeah.. he's a k***.

sicknote

simon johnson wrote:

On two occasions whilst cycling through Hackney I've had a car slow down to about 6 metres in front of me to then have the driver spray me with the windscreen jets! -spot on headshot, I reckon they've been modified somehow; seemed quite powerful.

Anyhow, on one of those occasions, the inevitable happened: I caught up with the driver in traffic and delivered him the biggest, stickiest wad of phelgm, all over the passenger's window- not my wisest act I know but this was the second spraying in less than two weeks- getting sprayed all over my glasses was quite an inconvenience.

And recently, to my great misfortune, I punctured one drizzly morning in Hackney. I'm about to get on with it, when I spot it: LC51 FHR, the reg plate of the first spraying idiot's black BMW- oh Lord! So I now I know where he lives.....perhaps I should leave a note under the wipers?

Beware of this new phenomenon sweeping through the east of London.

You could just put a banana up his tail pipe as it will give him lots of problems with no damage other than his pocket trying to sort it out :twisted:

hotspur

Last summer I was sprayed straight in the face with a water pistol, and gave them a w***** sign for their efforts. Probably not the best idea as there was one of me and four of them. I was in a rage though, thinking at 20 odd MPH with plenty of traffic around I could have come off and ended up under a car.

Yesterday I had some muppets slow down, ride beside me and shout something out whilst acting like neanderthals. I just stared at them this time, and eventually they got bored and drove on.

I've also gone straight in to a ditch in fear of my life when a moron tried to overtake a turning vehicle at a junction and was aimed straight at me. I can honestly say the life flashing before your eyes thing is 100% accurate.

thelawnet

People seem to think it's funny to do this sort of thing. Girl in a group of pedestrians tried to get in my way on the towpath, one of her friends said to her "oi he's got a f***ing baby on the back". Ha ha, very funny, yes it would be hilarious if you knocked us into the canal, great idea.

Mossrider

At least you weren't shot at. It happened to a group of us. I was also pretty angry, caught up with the scrotes at the next set of lights and proceded to give them the sort of dressing down they presumably never got at school . To their credit they were highly embarrassed and indicated the one on the back seat as the guilty party(very funny in retrospect). By this point the mist was clearing and I realised they had a gun (which i correctly surmised was either an airgun or a BB) and I didn't so I edged back a little and let them drive on.

The police were very interested and arrested the driver, and subsequently the passenger. He was by all accounts very apologetic for the whole thing and got off with a fine and compensation payment (it bought lunch). A good result as I did meet his mum outside the court and she came over as very respectable: I guess it was a moment of (extreme) foolishness that hopefully he learned by.

MattC59

totally agree folks, there are some complete ar*e holes out there on the roads. but lets not forget, there are some on bikes too !!

About a week or so ago, in Poole, I was on a roundabout, indicating left to leave the round about and in busy traffic. I saw a cyclist aproaching from my left and, lo and behold, rather than un-clip and stop, as per the rules of the road, he looked at me and came straight out. The result was that he was on the round about right next to me. Fortunately, I thought he was going to do this, so was somewhat prepared and tried to move out of his way. Unfortunately, there was nowhere to go ! I was in my kit car, like a Caterham, and by not stopping at the roundabout, he put himself between my front and rear near side wheels (they stick out like F1 cars). I was about 6" from the kerb, so he had nowhere to go. After calling him a f*cking idiot, he gave me a load of abuse, but being trapped between my wheels had nowhere to go when I had to stop due to traffic. This resulted in him hitting my front wheel, splitting the carbon wheel arch and toppling sideways onto my bonnet, putting his hand through the air filter !!! Que more swearing from him. The best bit was that as he toppled sideways, he leant against my exhausts. Skin at body temp and stainless steel at 300C don't mix !!!! The smell of burning skin was horrific !!!

There was a lot of noise, but he picked himself up and, whilst giving me more abuse, rode off. I got out and a couple of other cars stopped. Both witnesses (one behind him, one behind me) said the same thing, that he hadn't stopped at the junction. I called the Police, but they've not caught up with him yet.

The outcome ?

£120 for a new wheel arch. £120 for a new air filter and 40mins cleaning a lot of burned skin off my exhaust !!

All because he couldn't be bothered to stop at the round about !!!

I'm not saying this is common, and I have been at the recieving end of idiot drivers before, but this isn't the first time I've seen cyclists ignore the rules of the road so that they don't have to un-clip.

oh yeah, and if it was someone on here who was riding like a tw*t, caused this and has a badly burned leg......... I hope it goes gangrenous and f*cking rots !!! (Obviously that last bit wasn't aimes at the conciencious cyclists amongst you )

sicknote

MattC59 wrote:

totally agree folks, there are some complete ar*e holes out there on the roads. but lets not forget, there are some on bikes too !!

About a week or so ago, in Poole, I was on a roundabout, indicating left to leave the round about and in busy traffic. I saw a cyclist aproaching from my left and, lo and behold, rather than un-clip and stop, as per the rules of the road, he looked at me and came straight out. The result was that he was on the round about right next to me. Fortunately, I thought he was going to do this, so was somewhat prepared and tried to move out of his way. Unfortunately, there was nowhere to go ! I was in my kit car, like a Caterham, and by not stopping at the roundabout, he put himself between my front and rear near side wheels (they stick out like F1 cars). I was about 6" from the kerb, so he had nowhere to go. After calling him a f*cking idiot, he gave me a load of abuse, but being trapped between my wheels had nowhere to go when I had to stop due to traffic. This resulted in him hitting my front wheel, splitting the carbon wheel arch and toppling sideways onto my bonnet, putting his hand through the air filter !!! Que more swearing from him. The best bit was that as he toppled sideways, he leant against my exhausts. Skin at body temp and stainless steel at 300C don't mix !!!! The smell of burning skin was horrific !!!

There was a lot of noise, but he picked himself up and, whilst giving me more abuse, rode off. I got out and a couple of other cars stopped. Both witnesses (one behind him, one behind me) said the same thing, that he hadn't stopped at the junction. I called the Police, but they've not caught up with him yet.

The outcome ?

£120 for a new wheel arch. £120 for a new air filter and 40mins cleaning a lot of burned skin off my exhaust !!

All because he couldn't be bothered to stop at the round about !!!

I'm not saying this is common, and I have been at the recieving end of idiot drivers before, but this isn't the first time I've seen cyclists ignore the rules of the road so that they don't have to un-clip.

oh yeah, and if it was someone on here who was riding like a tw*t, caused this and has a badly burned leg......... I hope it goes gangrenous and f*cking rots !!! (Obviously that last bit wasn't aimes at the conciencious cyclists amongst you )

I know what you mean as some kid yesterday also most ended under my wheels by riding straight out from a side road, its lucky it was me as most people dont slow down much and its a small road too.

The kids on the side of the road with bikes all shook they heads too.

Some people think it will not happen to them :shock:

STEFANOS4784

dmclite wrote:

Stick a potato right up his exhaust pipe, he won't be able to start his car and have to go to a garage.

This isn't a euphimism for something else, really, get a potato :twisted:

Quality 8)

SteppenHerring

One that happens regularly to me: there's this place Langley Vale which is in a valley (duh). I try to carry a bit of speed through to bottom so I'm doing maybe 35mph down one side. Cars often overtake me (on principle - it's a 30mph limit), then see the speed bumps and have to slam on the brakes. So I have to brake hard too. And then I have to pedal harder up the other side.