Chimpanzee Cycling experiments
Infamous
Posts: 1,130
Taken from Reuters:
Chimpanzee Cycling experiments at Manchester University
Professors of Manchester University have been conducting experiments with Common Chimpanzee's (Pan troglodytes) to see if they could prove that Chimps can learn to ride bicycles. The experiements were a success! In just 8 weeks the test subject had not only learnt to ride a bike but had also managed to learn the highway code and could accurately ride around Manchester and surrounding areas with little to no input from his handlers.
The test subject rides a modified Specialized Allez, with 4 inch thick handlebars to accommodate his enormous simian hands. The gearing used is relatively low compared to other road bikes, not because the Chimp couldn't ride larger gears, but because he is more of a spinner; often he will spin up steep climbs at rates thought to be impossible for humans to sustain. The Chimp would ride for hours without stopping, only easing up the pace to eat a banana once every 20 minutes. The only real limit to his riding was water consumption, thanks to his thick fur and the summer heat he would go through 2 litres of water per hour.
The experiment was conducted in Manchester in order to keep it a secret from the media, wearing a track suit, the monkey was able to blend in seemlessly with all the other citizens of Manchester. In fact, so successful was the disguise that whenever the monkey joined other cyclists in a peleton, his handlers would lose him in the bunch. Often relying on the Chimpanzee to masturbate and throw faeces in order to stand out from the crowd (in Machester, cyclists will never masturbate and rarely throw faeces).
There was talk of entering him into the 2012 Olympics, but he has hit a plateau.
Chimpanzee Cycling experiments at Manchester University
Professors of Manchester University have been conducting experiments with Common Chimpanzee's (Pan troglodytes) to see if they could prove that Chimps can learn to ride bicycles. The experiements were a success! In just 8 weeks the test subject had not only learnt to ride a bike but had also managed to learn the highway code and could accurately ride around Manchester and surrounding areas with little to no input from his handlers.
The test subject rides a modified Specialized Allez, with 4 inch thick handlebars to accommodate his enormous simian hands. The gearing used is relatively low compared to other road bikes, not because the Chimp couldn't ride larger gears, but because he is more of a spinner; often he will spin up steep climbs at rates thought to be impossible for humans to sustain. The Chimp would ride for hours without stopping, only easing up the pace to eat a banana once every 20 minutes. The only real limit to his riding was water consumption, thanks to his thick fur and the summer heat he would go through 2 litres of water per hour.
The experiment was conducted in Manchester in order to keep it a secret from the media, wearing a track suit, the monkey was able to blend in seemlessly with all the other citizens of Manchester. In fact, so successful was the disguise that whenever the monkey joined other cyclists in a peleton, his handlers would lose him in the bunch. Often relying on the Chimpanzee to masturbate and throw faeces in order to stand out from the crowd (in Machester, cyclists will never masturbate and rarely throw faeces).
There was talk of entering him into the 2012 Olympics, but he has hit a plateau.
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Comments
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Awww man I thought it was real at first, It'd be awesome to see a monkey riding a bicycle.0
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freehub wrote:Awww man I thought it was real at first, It'd be awesome to see a monkey riding a bicycle.
I think the word your looking for is cruel....winter beast: http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff016.jpg
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg0 -
No, it's not cruel allowing a monkey to ride a bike lol.....0
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:roll: Maybe not if he jumps on of his own accord, which i highly doubt will ever happen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NXwk64WBBI
P.s for your amusement, not that funny really.........winter beast: http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff016.jpg
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg0 -
If a chimp rode a bike, no doubt they would be posting on here asking daft questions all the time.
Oh, hang on a minute...0 -
NapoleonD wrote:If a chimp rode a bike, no doubt they would be posting on here asking daft questions all the time.
Oh, hang on a minute...
8) winter beast: http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff016.jpg
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg0 -
They'd not be posting on here.0
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They would if they were trained properly and beaten if they didn't winter beast: http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff016.jpg
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg0 -
They could fight Bhima for his bananas.0
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He does love his 'nanas........winter beast: http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff016.jpg
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg0 -
This is a strange post but I think I've spotted a flaw in this 'report'. I seem to think (God alone know why) that Chimps don't masturbate. I think that there one or two primates that do, but not Chimps. Anyway...'Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible' Marcel Proust.0
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Passout,
I'd guess that you are wrong
According to Desmond Morris, Dolphins do, if there is a "strategically" placed water jet.
Why don't you google that subject matter whilst at work?
:twisted:
If bonobos (pygmy chimps) don't, it is simply because they don't need to.0 -
I see you're more of an expert on the masturbatory habits of animals than me. well done on that btw, but I thought it was common to see Chimps in the zoo having a tug.passout wrote:This is a strange post but I think I've spotted a flaw in this 'report'. I seem to think (God alone know why) that Chimps don't masturbate. I think that there one or two primates that do, but not Chimps. Anyway...0 -
Admittedly we are cruel to the poor little monkey, but it would be a much duller place here if we did not have him for our constant entertainment.
Yo wouldn't believe it real half the time if the odd photo didn't come out.0 -
I think that teaching a chimp to cycle wouldn't be cruel, I'm sure they'd love it. Who wouldn't? It may also boost the evolution of the chimpanzee, and releasing them back into the wild with some bikes would help them to avoid poachers, and move on quickly in case of habitat destruction, especially if they could teach the others.
What sort of race do you think that they would best be suited too? A chimpanzee has phenomenal strength by human standards, and I just fear that a chimp in the pro peloton would sweep up all of the prizes.0 -
Infamous wrote:
I see you're more of an expert on the masturbatory habits of animals than me. well done on that btw, but I thought it was common to see Chimps in the zoo having a tug.passout wrote:This is a strange post but I think I've spotted a flaw in this 'report'. I seem to think (God alone know why) that Chimps don't masturbate. I think that there one or two primates that do, but not Chimps. Anyway...
Chimps do indeed like to pleasure themselves - particularly the bonobo (also known as the pygmy chimp) whose sexual habits are pretty damned inventive. They don't just 'spank the monkey', so to speak - the females will often engage in mutual masturbation by rubbing each others' naughty bits together. I don't think that even humans do that... :shock:0 -
hamstrich,
You are not giving humans enough credit for inventiveness.
On the subject of bonobos:
Have you read any books by Frans de Waal?
They are the only large primate where infanticide has never been observed and there is a very good evolutionary explaination for this: namely that because they are so promiscuous, infanticide would possibly lead to killing kin.0 -
So Naive.hamstrich wrote:Chimps do indeed like to pleasure themselves - particularly the bonobo (also known as the pygmy chimp) whose sexual habits are pretty damned inventive. They don't just 'spank the monkey', so to speak - the females will often engage in mutual masturbation by rubbing each others' naughty bits together. I don't think that even humans do that... :shock:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... or+sisters0 -
Ahh - thanks chaps, I'll use this information next time there's a gap in the conversation at work.'Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible' Marcel Proust.0
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Infamous wrote:
So Naive.hamstrich wrote:Chimps do indeed like to pleasure themselves - particularly the bonobo (also known as the pygmy chimp) whose sexual habits are pretty damned inventive. They don't just 'spank the monkey', so to speak - the females will often engage in mutual masturbation by rubbing each others' naughty bits together. I don't think that even humans do that... :shock:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... or+sisters
I think you find there is a more technical term than "scissor sisters"....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TribadismNote: the above post is an opinion and not fact. It might be a lie.0 -
Wasn't 'scissoring' on an eppisode of southpark once winter beast: http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff016.jpg
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg0 -
I think I saw said primate on Saturday riding an MTB though the University campus.
However, I'm not too sure. I think a monkey would have been able to tell the difference between the clearly marked footpath it was cycling down and the equally clearly cycle lane immediately adjacent to it.
Bob0 -
jimmypippa wrote:hamstrich,
You are not giving humans enough credit for inventiveness.
On the subject of bonobos:
Have you read any books by Frans de Waal?
They are the only large primate where infanticide has never been observed and there is a very good evolutionary explaination for this: namely that because they are so promiscuous, infanticide would possibly lead to killing kin.
So it seems... well I know a little more now than I did yesterday!
No, I haven't encountered Frans de Waal - haven't read much about primate social behaviour to be honest, i just remember a few bits and pieces from my first year at uni. That infanticide hypothesis is very interesting though. I remember the first time I came across the idea of kin selection in The Selfish Gene - it was definitely one of those 'eureka' moments, after which the world makes so much more sense!0 -
hamstrich
Natural Sciences?
Biology? Anthropology? or something else?
About the selfish gene.
It is another one where Thomas Huxley's quote about Darwin's Theory is appropriate:
"how very stupid of me to not have thought of that".
So obvious in retrospect.0 -
So the chimp is cycling because his selfish gene is encouraging him to spread his DNA further a field - perhaps Knowsley Safari Park or Chester Zoo - rather than than Masturbating. Perhaps he has read Desmond Morris or maybe he saw Johnny Morris on TV? All of this begs the question, why didn't he just get the bus?'Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible' Marcel Proust.0
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Well someone at this forum posted this link on a different thread...
It has now becone one of my (8yr old) son's favourite youtube clips
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hv-JcUyNgEs&feature=related[url][/url]0 -
jimmypippa wrote:hamstrich
Natural Sciences?
Biology? Anthropology? or something else?
About the selfish gene.
It is another one where Thomas Huxley's quote about Darwin's Theory is appropriate:
"how very stupid of me to not have thought of that".
So obvious in retrospect.
Jimmypippa,
Very good, I was indeed a NatSci! I ended up specialising in neuroscience, but I did a fair chunk of evolutionary bio on the way, which I loved to bits (though perhaps this was partly because we were shown David Attenborough video clips in lectures!) Do you have a similar background?0 -
Nope, I'm a semiconductor engineer/device physicist
But my wife stpecialised in biological anthropology, and my brother's an ecologist, and I have always been interested in that...0
