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Whistler in the office

Stewie GriffinStewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
edited May 2009 in The bottom bracket
Im going to kill him, its reached that point. Im going to do it with may bare hands, Im going to strangle him, I want to see his eyes swell up roll over and slowly close while Im banging the back of his head on the floor. Im not going to let go until the Police prise my hands away from his neck.

If I hear the first 3 bars (because thats all he knows) of Eastenders, MOTD or Any Dream will do, again Im going to do it. I dont want to, he is a nice old boy but I just cant take it anymore.

PLEASE HELP ME :cry:
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  • APIIIAPIII Posts: 2,010
    I feel for you, I really do. I had an experience in Waitrose the other week, where my every move seemed to be shadowed by a serial whistler. I wanted to kill him after only 15 minutes, I don't know how you've managed thus far to be honest.

    I'd fit him up if I were you. Go to HR and say he offered you a Werther's original in a suggestive manner :shock:
  • guineaguinea Posts: 1,177
    Kill him in the face.
  • volvicsparvolvicspar Posts: 208
    If hes is under 30 get one those mosquito noise deterrent things and hide it under his desk :D
  • freehubfreehub Posts: 4,257
    Yea those things are awful, my parents have 2 in the house, luckily there not that loud but I'm the only one that can hear it.
  • beverickbeverick Posts: 3,461
    You think that's bad. Our office whistler looks like Homer Simpson.....

    Bob
  • redveeredvee Posts: 11,921
    Might be his false teeth :lol:
    I've added a signature to prove it is still possible.
  • ceecee Posts: 4,553
    I wear earphones to stop this type of rage....

    the worst is when you get a whistler who also 'jiggles' their legs under the desk causing the entire building to bounce around....aaaaaaaaaaaargh!
    Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.

    H.G. Wells.
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 79,678
    Buy a copy of Roger Whittakers greatest whistling hits and give it to him.

    Then he will feel inadequate and stop.

    Trust me this might work.... :lol:
  • will3will3 Posts: 2,173
    Hang a bird feeder by his desk
  • pottsstevepottssteve Posts: 4,043
    Have a word with his Mother......?
    Head Hands Heart Lungs Legs
  • CrapaudCrapaud Posts: 2,483
    ... If I hear the first 3 bars (because thats all he knows) of Eastenders, MOTD or Any Dream will do, again Im going to do it. I dont want to, he is a nice old boy but I just cant take it anymore.

    PLEASE HELP ME :cry:
    You've got it relatively easy. Can you imagine the trauma caused by feckin' christmas [email protected]' carols, non stop, all feckin' year round? God Bless Ye Merry [email protected]' Gentlemen over and over and over and over - repeat ad infinitum - again?

    See your local vet and have them put down - they'll thank you for it.
    A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject - Churchill
  • pdstsppdstsp Posts: 1,264
    Kill him with your bare hands as you suggest in your op - it is the only answer and its the right thing to do.
  • GraemeTGraemeT Posts: 155
    Glad to see I'm not the only one having a bad day :)
    But yes, you should kill him.
    Or at least smash his teeth out. That would stop him :)
    Just Keep Pedalling
  • CHRISNOIRCHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    You're lucky; I used to work with a bloke who compulsively whisted out of his ar*e. Thankfully I do find that kind of thing funny - unless it smelled. Then it wasn't amusing in the slightest.
  • greasedscotsmangreasedscotsman Posts: 6,962
    We had a belching competition at work once, we got complaints from the accounts department next door. Wish I'd kept the email we got from the boss "I don't expect this behaviour from my kids..."

    Think you should kill him, I'm sure the judge will take his whistling into consideration and dismiss any prosecution that may have been brought against you.
  • pottsstevepottssteve Posts: 4,043
    I enjoy a good whistle.... :oops:
    Head Hands Heart Lungs Legs
  • AggieboyAggieboy Posts: 3,996
    51TJ4VVWT2L._SL500_AA240_.jpg

    Is this him? :lol:
    "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."
  • Chaz.HardingChaz.Harding Posts: 3,144
    You don't have to kill him - just punch him really hard in the face. Swollen, sore lips
    = no whistling!!!

    :lol:
    Boo-yah mofo
    Sick to the power of rad
    Fix it 'till it's broke
  • Stewie GriffinStewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    Its done, my Office whistler sleeps with the fishes 8) . Do they let you out to ride a bike 4 or 5 times a week when you are in Prison?
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 79,678
    Pull his lips and slice them off with a pair of scissors. That'll stop the fecker!

    Ahh, seen you have already dealt with it....
  • CHRISNOIRCHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    Its done, my Office whistler sleeps with the fishes 8) . Do they let you out to ride a bike 4 or 5 times a week when you are in Prison?

    In prison you may find that you're the bike... Don't worry though; no jury would ever convict you. Whistling counts as provocation - in fact you may be on the next Honours list. Good work!
  • bompingtonbompington Posts: 7,674
    Errr, have you tried asking him to stop?
  • pdstsppdstsp Posts: 1,264
    About fifteen years ago I worked in an office on the first floor above a shop on the main shopping street in Southport. From about fiour or five weeks before Christmas a guy arrives at around 9,30 each morning, opens his bag and produces a trumpet on which he then plays Xmas carols all day,every day,very very badly

    One day I has a particularly unpleasant hangover and had to go downstairs and pay him his average daily take to sod off. I wish I'd thought of killing him.
  • Stewie GriffinStewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    bompington wrote:
    Errr, have you tried asking him to stop?

    No, because it seems so trivial really and its only me in the Office that gets worked up by it :lol: . My Colleagues laugh at me getting all stressed out by an otherwise lovely harmless old fellah getting on with his job doing something he probably does subconsciously :) .

    Perhaps I should walk past him whistling tunes that I want to hear*. So Eye of the Tiger and the Theme tune from the Karate Kid for starters, which I hope drives my Colleagues as Bananas as I have been going :lol:

    *Quick Edit, not to drive him mad but to get him whistling tunes I want to hear at work.
  • CrapaudCrapaud Posts: 2,483
    bompington wrote:
    Errr, have you tried asking him to stop?
    ASK them to STOP???You've got to locate them by ecolocation because you can't see them through the red mist, never mind coherent thinking!!!

    :wink:
    A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject - Churchill
  • fast as fuppfast as fupp Posts: 2,277
    'dont forget lads, one evertonian is worth twenty kopites'
  • chuckcorkchuckcork Posts: 1,471
    I sympathise. I used to sit at a desk next to a guy that seemed to have some nervous tick, which he worked out by tapping out tunes on his desk...being workstations and joined together I not only had to hear it but feel the damned noise.

    Eventually I snapped and gave my desk an almighty thump. I asked to be moved after that, it was ridiculous, couldn't concentrate on anything with Mr tappitty tap tapping away...
    'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze....
  • Stewie GriffinStewie Griffin Posts: 4,330

    I watched the whole thing, waiting for his whistling intro to stop and him to start singing. Was that released :o ?

    The old boy is still alive, with his face perfectly intact. I guess thinking about him as Joe Pecsi's Brother at the end of Casino so much during today made me believe that I had done him.

    Its worse than I thought :lol:
  • fast as fuppfast as fupp Posts: 2,277
    I watched the whole thing, waiting for his whistling intro to stop and him to start singing. Was that released Surprised ?

    was it released? it made the hit parade in 1967!! :lol:
    'dont forget lads, one evertonian is worth twenty kopites'
  • Stewie GriffinStewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    I watched the whole thing, waiting for his whistling intro to stop and him to start singing. Was that released Surprised ?

    was it released? it made the hit parade in 1967!! :lol:

    No way :lol: Im going to rip my Dad for all of the jip I got as a teenager listening to 80's music :wink:
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