We shouldn't laugh. But frequently do...

gumball3000

Customers can be really quite entertaining, but a recent one takes the biscuit...

Walks in with bike that he bought a few days before.

"Bit of an odd one this mate. Not sure if it will be warranty..."

and then, out it came...

pointing at rear tyre... "The rear tyre has gone down. I reckon it has got a puncture, but only at the bottom look... The top is still fine...."

Had to hide in the back and send a mechanic out to look at it. Couldn't stop grinning for hours!

volvicspar

nicensleazy

Sounds like a serious problem.............................strong medication!

STEFANOS4784

You've got to laugh at customers like these, it's the only thing that keeps people in retail from mass murder

guinea

I used to work in the bus station in Inverness as a summer job.

Here's a standard phone converation. This happens five times every hour.

ME>Hello, bus station.
Little Old Lady>Oh, hello.
ME>Can I help you
LOL>Is that the bus station?
ME>Yes, can I help you?
LOL>The one in Inverness?
ME>Yes. What can I do for you?
LOL>Do you run busses?
ME>Yes, where would you like to go?
LOL>I need to go and see my daughter, she's at 8 and a half months.
ME>That's lovely, where does she live?
LOL>Near the big Safeway. Awfy handy for the messages, especially with a baby.
ME>Which city?
LOL>Oh, sorry son, Glasgow. She's in Partick, dead handy for the Hospital too, the lovely in there.
ME>We do busses to Glasgow, when do you want to go?
LOL>Well before she has to go for a dentist so that I can look after the wee fella. She doesn't like taking him as he gets upset when she's in the chair. I think she spoils him too much, but you can't say anything can you. When I was young...
ME>Ok, what day.
LOL>Tomorrow. That's her appointment. Not too far away mind, only takes her 5 minutes to walk.
ME>The busses are at 0800, 1300 and 1730.
LOL>can you say that again?
ME>Sure, 0800, 1300 and 1730.
LOL>What's the first one?
ME>0800.
LOL>Is that the first?
ME>Yes
LOL> How long does it take? Will it stop anywhere for a pee?
ME>3 hours 15 minutes
LOL>What time does it get in?
ME>1115.
LOL>do you have one at lunch time?
ME>Yes, 1300.
LOL> How long does it take?
ME>3 hours 15 minutes
LOL>What time does it get in?
ME>1615.
LOL>What times were they again
ME>0800, 1300 and 1730.
LOL>0800 is the first?
ME>Yes.
LOL>Ok, what time are the others?
ME>0800, 1300 and 1730.
LOL>I think I need to get a pen, hold on a minute...

*clunk*

NGale

I just know in my job that as soon as the first line I get from one one is 'I don't need an ambulance but...' it will usually mean old bloke having a heart attack so rehehehehallly does need an ambulance or complete numpty who has cut their finger and can't be arsed to phone NHS Direct because it costs them money.

Usually the latter!

The best one how ever was last week and I had a paramedic student listening in on my call. The bloke spoke so quickly it took me too attempts to get in the address, when I did and asked him what the problem was the call went something like this....

IMM: Yes I'm an international man of mystery and I want to watch the grand prix
ME: Right ok, but the Grand Prix isn't on for another two weeks (as I check my diary and see that it's a full moon that night)
IMM: Yes I know that but I have to get home to complete a mission for MI6 first and then I can watch the grand prix.
ME: So why do you need a ambulance?
IMM: I want to go home for the Grand Prix
ME: But what medical need do you have for an ambulance?
IMM: Because I want to go home to watch the grand prix
ME: Yes but that isn't on for another two weeks, and it isn't a medical need for an ambulance. What if we were to send you an ambulance and then someone else had a serious accident which needed an ambulance as well?
IMM: You can send them another one
ME: Well what if there wasn't another ambulance because we had sent the last avaliable one to you, just to take you home?
IMM: Then the other person will just have to wait!
ME: Look can you get a member of staff to the phone please
IMM: There isn't anyone else around, I'm an international man of mystery.
ME: Listen I've seen all the spy movies, even the world greatest spy is never far from contact with from a fellow spy. Get me a member of staff to speak to please, I need to verify your mission.
IMM: Ok

Cue screams of laughter from the dispatchers, Control Officer and paramedic student who never believed those calls happened until then.