Did that totally horrible thing (guys only)
tardington
Posts: 1,379
Girlfriend asleep on the sofa, so was creeping up to give her a kiss on the cheek. All okay so far!
BUT on the approach, though I' d let out a bit of wind. You know where this is going? As it left me it felt... hot. Being a sensible lad I froze, and reversed. Bloody hell! I never ate anything like that today! The smell!!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Hopefully my surreptitious wafting will work before it wakes her up... :shock:
BUT on the approach, though I' d let out a bit of wind. You know where this is going? As it left me it felt... hot. Being a sensible lad I froze, and reversed. Bloody hell! I never ate anything like that today! The smell!!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Hopefully my surreptitious wafting will work before it wakes her up... :shock:
0
Comments
-
Best ones are when you shart yourself...done that once. I was wearing a dodgy pair of 80's silky football shorts as well. Absolutley no grip on them!!!There is never redemption, any fool can regret yesterday...
Be Pure! Be Vigilant! Behave!0 -
I try to leave them round the girlfriend's midriff then run away....... they wake up thinking they did it.
Why am I single?0 -
Used to fart in a test tube in science lab in school. cork it then let it go around the snobby cow girls in class. I wasn't liked much in school!!!There is never redemption, any fool can regret yesterday...
Be Pure! Be Vigilant! Behave!0 -
Drewfromrisca - you had my sympathy till the football short bit. Silky? :shock:
Guilliano - Ah, good plan for next time. She is still asleep so I've probably gotten away with it!0 -
Tardie, don't you remember them??? They were shiny/silky and very very short!!!There is never redemption, any fool can regret yesterday...
Be Pure! Be Vigilant! Behave!0 -
Juvenile, perhaps, but LMFAO at 'shart'
Powered by Haribo.0 -
Just teach your other to love your own personal brand. 8)Note: the above post is an opinion and not fact. It might be a lie.0
-
I know you said guys only but...
This was all fine - until the silky shorts :shock:
Even laydees have bottom burps you know Ned Flanders: “You were bicycling two abreast?”
Homer Simpson: “I wish. We were bicycling to a lake.”
Specialized Rockhopper Pro Disc 080 -
SpinningJenny wrote:I know you said guys only but...
This was all fine - until the silky shorts :shock:
Even laydees have bottom burps you know
I can remember when I found out. 5 Mins I spent trying to find out where the smell of gas was coming from. I even got a bit panicky after remembering that the flat was all lecky :shock: . For another 5 mins she let me run around the flat looking for the source. IIRC it was only when I said I was going to knock on our neighbours doors to see if they could smell it that she admitted that it had in fact emanated from her . 0 -
Stewie Griffin wrote:
I can remember when I found out. 5 Mins I spent trying to find out where the smell of gas was coming from. I even got a bit panicky after remembering that the flat was all lecky :shock: . For another 5 mins she let me run around the flat looking for the source. IIRC it was only when I said I was going to knock on our neighbours doors to see if they could smell it that she admitted that it had in fact emanated from her . Ned Flanders: “You were bicycling two abreast?”
Homer Simpson: “I wish. We were bicycling to a lake.”
Specialized Rockhopper Pro Disc 080 -
I usually tell my girlfriend that it slipped out without me noticing it.0
-
NEVER trust a f**tM.Rushton0
-
-
LMAO Cycling never gets any easier, you just go faster - Greg LeMond0
-
And so many of you wonder why your single
I will freely admit that I am the queen of the bottom burps in my family, they are never subtle but very rarely smell :shock: :roll: Officers don't run, it's undignified and panics the men0 -
SpinningJenny wrote:Even laydees have bottom burps you know
That's a Myth
They dont keep their mouths closed long enough to build up enough pressure
Simon"It never gets easier, you just go faster"0 -
I did hear my gf trumping in the bathroom once.
I also told her she farted in her sleep... She was NOT happy! And even less happy when I admitted I'd made it up. 0 -
mrushton wrote:NEVER trust a f**t
Part of Billy Connolly's three rules of old age...
1. Never trust a f@rt
2. Take every opportunity to have a p1ss
3. If you do manage to get an erection, make sure you use it time flies like an arrow
fruit flies like a banana0 -
When I first met my Missus our one point of disagreement* was the merits of toilet humour. After we'd been together for a few months I felt safe enough to start squeezing the odd one out here and there and it seems to have encouraged her to do likewise. She's now a one-woman guff-machine.
I've never been able to figure out what will make someone like / hate toilet humour and farting. Male / female, Working / Middle / Upper class, Old / Young - you just never know whether someone will like it or not!
*actually there were two; I'm still baffled by her love of the Pet Shop Boys.0 -
Those are the best, the warm ones, when you can feel the Turtle's head coming out, and its time for a pitch inspection 0
