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What you've learnt from cycling

Alain QuayAlain Quay Posts: 635
edited May 2009 in The bottom bracket
[ :evil: No hijacking or one to one banter please :evil: ]

1. When riding in a chaingang, never tell a female cyclist her shorts re wearing thin.

2. When one sees two cyclists, one male & one female, the male is always in front.
(Same with ducks.)
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Posts

  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    1. Any attempt to 'save' money by commuting on the bike is foolhardy. £8k later I'm still looking at more bikes and bling.

    2. It really hurts when you come off at 40 mph straight in to an embankment.
  • Robmanic1Robmanic1 Posts: 2,150
    Alain Quay wrote:
    [ :evil: No hijacking or one to one banter please :evil: ]

    Which hardtail should I buy? :D
    Pictures are better than words because some words are big and hard to understand.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/3336802663/
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    Knees are **** and flawed and are not designed for cycling.
  • salsarider79salsarider79 Posts: 914
    edited April 2009
    1. When riding in an all male chain gang, penis jokes will be told. It is the Law.

    2. Australians wouldn't give a 4x for anyone else...
    jedster wrote:
    Just off to contemplate my own mortality and inevitable descent into decrepedness.
    FCN 3 or 4 on road depending on clothing
    FCN 8 off road because I'm too old to go racing around.
  • SCR PedroSCR Pedro Posts: 912
    Buy a frame which fits you properly.
    Don't listen to the bike shop when they say too big a frame will be fine.
    1. When riding in a chaingang, never tell a female cyclist her shorts re wearing thin.

    You told a woman her shorts were wearing thin? And what was the reaction?

    Pedro
    Giant TCR Advanced II - Reviewed on my homepage
    Giant TCR Alliance Zero
    BMC teammachineSLR03
    The Departed
    Giant SCR2
    Canyon Roadlite
    Specialized Allez
    Some other junk...
  • CHRISNOIRCHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    1. The wind only ever blows in one direction - in your face.

    2. The friction you would expect from rubber on tarmac can sometimes be far less than anticipated
  • Agent57Agent57 Posts: 2,320
    - it never gets easier; you just go faster. (or not, in my case :( )

    - the puncture fairy ignore all the times you go out with repair kit/tube/pump, then strikes on the one day you forget either one or other.

    - lycra doesn't look good on fat blokes
    MTB commuter / 531c commuter / CR1 Team 2009 / RockHopper Pro Disc / 10 mile PB: 25:52 (Jun 2014)
  • Robmanic1Robmanic1 Posts: 2,150
    Mates you ride with who drop you are b*stards!

    Mates you ride with who you drop are puss*es
    Pictures are better than words because some words are big and hard to understand.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/3336802663/
  • Agent57 wrote:
    lycra doesn't look good on fat blokes

    Doesn't look good on anyone, unless you are super skinny, well built or well hung... :wink:
    jedster wrote:
    Just off to contemplate my own mortality and inevitable descent into decrepedness.
    FCN 3 or 4 on road depending on clothing
    FCN 8 off road because I'm too old to go racing around.
  • Agent57Agent57 Posts: 2,320
    Agent57 wrote:
    lycra doesn't look good on fat blokes

    Doesn't look good on anyone, unless you are super skinny, well built or well hung... :wink:

    I fall into one of those categories, but I ain't saying which. :Oo:
    MTB commuter / 531c commuter / CR1 Team 2009 / RockHopper Pro Disc / 10 mile PB: 25:52 (Jun 2014)
  • spanielssonspanielsson Posts: 776
    1) There is always an upgrade or improvement to be made to your trusty steed

    2) Not to take it all too seriously, after all we do it for fun, not as a profession.
  • holmeboyholmeboy Posts: 674
    You can';t take corners with a puncture :lol:
  • holmeboyholmeboy Posts: 674
    The soles of adidas samba's are not as good as slowing you as front brakes, on a down hill section approaching a ninty degree corner, after you're brake cable has snapped! My "mate"? found this hilarous. :oops: :cry: :roll:
  • spanielssonspanielsson Posts: 776
    1) There is always an upgrade or improvement to be made to your trusty steed

    2) Not to take it all too seriously, after all we do it for fun, not as a profession.
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    Lycra can be worn with great success by anyone...










    fatguyinspandex.jpg
  • Agent57Agent57 Posts: 2,320
    My word, you're right Napoleon! :D
    MTB commuter / 531c commuter / CR1 Team 2009 / RockHopper Pro Disc / 10 mile PB: 25:52 (Jun 2014)
  • Robmanic1Robmanic1 Posts: 2,150
    Ullrich has really let himself go hasn't he
    Pictures are better than words because some words are big and hard to understand.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/3336802663/
  • Riccardo Ricco in drag?
    jedster wrote:
    Just off to contemplate my own mortality and inevitable descent into decrepedness.
    FCN 3 or 4 on road depending on clothing
    FCN 8 off road because I'm too old to go racing around.
  • FSR_XCFSR_XC Posts: 2,258
    1. It's often easier to lose weight from your bike.

    2. It's most certainly cheaper to lose the weight from yourself.
    Stumpjumper FSR 09/10 Pro Carbon, Genesis Vapour CX20 ('17)Carbon, Rose Xeon CW3000 '14, Raleigh R50

    http://www.visiontrack.com
  • BarkiesnakeBarkiesnake Posts: 244
    Napoleon, did you have to post that picture, I told the boss I was at home sick in bed that day. Damn :x
    "If you think you can, or if you think you can't, your right" Henry Ford
  • BhimaBhima Posts: 2,145
    Illogical/Strange things i've learned in the past year:

    - When buying a bike, you pay MORE for LESS weight... Odd :?

    - If you wobble about on the road, drivers box you in to the kerb and scare the life out of you. Ride confidently and you suddenly get space. :?

    - The more comfy your saddle is, the less comfy you'll be. :?

    - Drafting someone decreases the lead rider's drag also... :?

    - Men shave thier legs for no performance increase. :?

    - You never notice tailwinds, until you turn around! :lol:
  • Frank the tankFrank the tank Posts: 6,806
    Whenever you ask a fellow cyclist you'fe not seen for a couple of weeks and you ask

    "Have you been doing a deal"? they always say no, not much.
    Tail end Charlie

    The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.
  • You always need another bike. This is also part of the Law.

    Wifes/GFs/BFs/Fiances/Partners are not allowed to ask about the Law. That is also, Law.

    If you cannot get permission for another (essential) bike, treat yourself to some new shoes. Or pedals. Or handlebars. Or something else that will not be noticed.
    jedster wrote:
    Just off to contemplate my own mortality and inevitable descent into decrepedness.
    FCN 3 or 4 on road depending on clothing
    FCN 8 off road because I'm too old to go racing around.
  • guillianoguilliano Posts: 5,495
    Energy bars always give the person ahead of you wind

    Speed cameras do flash cyclists and the camera DOES add 10lb

    MTB tyres don't grip wet chalk at 30mph on a corner

    A broken and dislocated finger doesn't heal well if you continually ride with it (see above for possible cause)

    Gravity acts 4x as strongly on me as anyone else on any given climb
  • Stone GliderStone Glider Posts: 1,227
    When the ride leader tells you "we are at the highest point of the ride" he is not telling you there are no more hills.

    The next bike will be faster and climb better.
    The older I get the faster I was
  • teagarteagar Posts: 2,100
    Because I'm on a bike in lycra, I should apparantly be training for the Tour...

    And people are dissapointed when they find out I'm not.
    Note: the above post is an opinion and not fact. It might be a lie.
  • SpinningJennySpinningJenny Posts: 889
    From one of the laydees...

    1. A nicely padded backside does not exempt you from needing nicely padded cycling shorts. :wink:

    2. You get lots of respect (and sponsorship!) from your (male) colleagues when you casually drop into the coversation that you're doing a 60 mile bike ride. Thanks guys :mrgreen:
    Ned Flanders: “You were bicycling two abreast?”
    Homer Simpson: “I wish. We were bicycling to a lake.”

    Specialized Rockhopper Pro Disc 08
  • de_sistide_sisti Posts: 1,170
    Cyclists are just like other members of the public, kind, fair, generous, arrogant, rude, impudent, ill mannered.
  • MettanMettan Posts: 2,103
    If you've got a knee injury, don't ride 6 days on the trot :cry::cry::cry:
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    When you tell your new to cycling mate "dont worry we wont go too far", you know you are lying.

    On some days, no matter how hard you try it just will not come together.
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