Anxiety?

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  • softlad
    softlad Posts: 3,513
    pneumatic wrote:
    Courage! We're all on your side (even Softlad, in his own jolly way!)

    goes without saying, that does. - that's why I didn't feel the need to say it.

    But I can't help thinking that 'cake stop' is not the ideal forum for this kind of stuff. Some of the 'diagnosis' on this thread is frankly alarming....and I'm wondering if it is actually that helpful...
  • Headhuunter
    Headhuunter Posts: 6,494
    softlad wrote:
    pneumatic wrote:
    Courage! We're all on your side (even Softlad, in his own jolly way!)

    goes without saying, that does. - that's why I didn't feel the need to say it.

    But I can't help thinking that 'cake stop' is not the ideal forum for this kind of stuff. Some of the 'diagnosis' on this thread is frankly alarming....and I'm wondering if it is actually that helpful...

    Seems pretty logical stuff to me, see a GP or medical professional, eat good food, consider medication but don't rely on it, exercise on the bike more.... What's alarming about that?!
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  • redddraggon
    redddraggon Posts: 10,862
    Thank you for the kind words and PMs, I feel a lot better today, got into Uni at 9am and did some work. I also got the train home, so I'm back in North Wales now :D

    I think it's all been caused by a fear of failure, seeded by relatively small things, and it blew it all out of proportion. Basically I think I needed to MTFU, and get out of the house into university, and crack on with some work.
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  • Headhuunter
    Headhuunter Posts: 6,494
    redddraggon wrote:
    Thank you for the kind words and PMs, I feel a lot better today, got into Uni at 9am and did some work. I also got the train home, so I'm back in North Wales now :D

    I think it's all been caused by a fear of failure, seeded by relatively small things, and it blew it all out of proportion. Basically I think I needed to MTFU, and get out of the house into university, and crack on with some work.

    Don't worry, I only got a Desmond at uni and it hasn't held me back. Failure is subjective....
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  • davelakers
    davelakers Posts: 762
    I suffered from anxiety for 7 years. I had little help from GPs apart from Anti depressants that didnt work for me, the first lot made it worse!!

    I had ups and downs all that time but it wasnt until one night while in the house alone beside myself with this horrible unexplainable fear, that I stumbled upon this website http://www.panicfree.co.nz/ in hope of finding an answer. I emailed the website and within an hour I had a phone call from the author in Auckland, New Zealand. After an hour of just talking and him explaining what was happening to me I paid £28 for his program. I have to say that it was, and still is, THE BEST £28 I have ever spent!!

    If you dont want to fork out the cash, just read some of the testimonials on the website and some of his ideas, they might help.

    Good luck.
  • bilabonic
    bilabonic Posts: 299
    HI Mate

    Let me say i can fully understand where your coming from, i am currently off work myself for anxiety/depression and i found the answer in dreaded drink...

    I also had one major panic attack and it has taken nearly a year to get better via counselling/ ant-depressants and a spell in private rehab for alcohol.

    I would definitely go see your GP and ask for referral to mental health worker, when i look back at how ill/depressed i was it is unthinkable. I could not even enter a supermarket for food !!

    I have since made major changes in my life, removed a lot of stresses, do not drink, eat healthy and exercise regular.

    I am still low dose Citalopram and find it excellent for me after trying others, it got rid off my anxiety after about 7 weeks...This is from a person who would not even take a paracetamol or even been to a Dr in 10 years.

    I also have some anti-anxiety info/courses in PDF format for you and some stuff by Claire Weekes which is helpfull and no doubt you can relate to them and they will help with anxiety.

    Forgot to mention also ask for a full blood test mate just too see if everythings in order, mine came back as moderate Anemic so i take iron supplement (Spatone) which made a huge difference, also take Omega 3 with DHA/EPA and Vit B multi vit.

    PM me anytime mate, just being back in sunny Wales is a bonus anyway..

    :D
    Specialized Epic FSR Carbon Comp
  • wiffachip
    wiffachip Posts: 861
    softlad wrote:
    wiffachip wrote:
    softlad wrote:
    get a grip, man - pull yourself together..

    (hope that helps.. ;) )

    it helps us understand that you are a tit

    with insight like that, you are obviously a psychologist - but I don't see you offering any help - light-hearted or otherwise...???

    Because you don't see something, it doesn't mean it hasn't happened

    If someone came on and said they had cancer, would you have made such a flippant comment ?
  • softlad
    softlad Posts: 3,513
    wiffachip wrote:
    If someone came on and said they had cancer, would you have made such a flippant comment ?

    Flippant - absolutely. So what?

    Anyway, I don't see how your 'cancer' comment is in any way relevant, when RD's original post did not identify or diagnose any condition - merely a set of symptoms. Your pespective is a little wayward, perhaps.

    Either way, I can't be arsed to justify my behaviour to you. I know what I meant - and what I meant was good-natured, but I couldn't really give a stuff whether you get it or not...
  • finchy
    finchy Posts: 6,686
    As others have said, lifestyle is dead important. I'll give you some great advice for nowt - how you wake up every morning is really, really important. If you can, go to sleep with your curtains open. That way you'll be woken up by sunlight at dawn - you wake up feeling absolutely fantastic. It's a hell of a lot better than the alarm clock.

    I did this before my finals, and stretched my day out by a couple of hours. Getting two hours of work done by nine in the morning fills you with confidence and self-belief, and my revision and exam results improved no end.
  • whyamihere
    whyamihere Posts: 7,719
    Just echoing what others have said really, but get some help and talk to people. Doesn't have to be professionals, just discussing with friends/family how you're feeling can make a world of difference.

    Around mid-October last year I basically had a breakdown. I'd been bullied all the way through school without any support, and it had essentially turned me into someone who was terrified of failure, a perfectionist (which sounds a bit like you). The problem was, I held myself to such an impossibly high standard that I could almost never reach it, and on the incredibly rare occasion, it was just what I thought I should be doing, so was nothing special. I ended up going downstairs, hugging my mum and crying for 2 hours straight, just letting out a load of raw emotion. Booked myself into the GP the next day, started on antidepressants, went through counselling and turned myself around. I've now finished with the counselling, and as soon as I'm through my exams I'll be starting to wean myself off the antidepressants (we don't want to do it during or before the exams just in case I'm not quite ready).

    Good luck.
  • Tom Butcher
    Tom Butcher Posts: 3,830
    wiffachip wrote:

    Because you don't see something, it doesn't mean it hasn't happened

    If someone came on and said they had cancer, would you have made such a flippant comment ?

    Come on someone made a tongue in cheek comment - he was sharing a joke with the OP not offering it as a piece of serious advice.
    it's a hard life if you don't weaken.
  • Headhuunter
    Headhuunter Posts: 6,494
    I'm actually surprised that there are so many people here who have had difficulties like this. What does that say about cycling? That cyclists are more likely to suffer from problems like this or that cycling is often a very good therapy for emotional trouble. I feel a study coming on....
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  • softlad
    softlad Posts: 3,513
    as a percentage of the population, it's probably entirely in line with the national average....
  • whyamihere
    whyamihere Posts: 7,719
    Headhuunter wrote:
    I'm actually surprised that there are so many people here who have had difficulties like this. What does that say about cycling? That cyclists are more likely to suffer from problems like this or that cycling is often a very good therapy for emotional trouble. I feel a study coming on....
    152000 members, 43 replies.

    Pretty good I reckon. ;)
  • Crapaud
    Crapaud Posts: 2,483
    Headhuunter wrote:
    I'm actually surprised that there are so many people here who have had difficulties like this. What does that say about cycling? That cyclists are more likely to suffer from problems like this or that cycling is often a very good therapy for emotional trouble. I feel a study coming on....
    Nothing! These things can happen to anybody; it just happens that this is a cycling forum, so it's cyclists that are posting. Cycling didn't cause the problem.

    In my case there had been a build up over a few years: myself and a couple of collegues were targeted, and our lives made miserable, to get us to leave (the company was in financial difficulties and didn't want to pay redundancy). It was the stress-busting qualities of cycling that helped me stay sane during this.
    A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject - Churchill
  • redddraggon
    redddraggon Posts: 10,862
    I've felt ok for the last week, after going home, but now I'm back in manchester I feel bad again.

    I know I've got plenty of time to do my work, but I've still got a fear of failure. I'm supposed to be starting a PhD in September but perhaps I'd be better off joining the RAF...


    :(
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,665
    70-80% of the time I feel down, feel stressed, sometimes my mood goes up, bust certain types of music, being sat in all day, not allowed to do things I like, all bring my mood down again. Sometimes I feel doing some course work ups my mood but only for a short amount of time.

    I'm a very moody person and I take everything seriously, I rarely know when someone is joking. My school life was pretty crap and I had no friends at all, that's probably why, I wasent severly bullied though, I only got beaten up about 4 times in school, all for not much reason apart from my unpopularity.

    Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood I just sit and think, why? The same time last night I was doing the exact same thing, in the same situation, and I felt in an ok mood.

    I am scared of failing, but at the same time I dont have the drive to get everything done, well, I dont know, I am always worried I am behind, out of my 4 assignments I've allready finished 2, ahead of allot of people, but I still feel I am fallling behind.
  • ademort
    ademort Posts: 1,924
    I suffered anxiety and panic attacks after an accident many years ago,so you really have my sympathy redddraggon. I lost about 4 years of my life, and went through hell. My first time symptoms were feeling nervous in a shop or in town and it snowballed on from there.
    Cycling was about the only thing that kept me from going nuts. I had no social contact,avoided meetings parties e.t.c and getting out on the bike was the only social contact that i had apart from work.Take it from me, the sooner you get help the better. I wish you all the best mate and look after yourself. :wink:
    Ademort
    ademort
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  • dennisn
    dennisn Posts: 10,601
    willhub wrote:
    70-80% of the time I feel down, feel stressed, sometimes my mood goes up, bust certain types of music, being sat in all day, not allowed to do things I like, all bring my mood down again. Sometimes I feel doing some course work ups my mood but only for a short amount of time.

    I'm a very moody person and I take everything seriously, I rarely know when someone is joking. My school life was pretty crap and I had no friends at all, that's probably why, I wasent severly bullied though, I only got beaten up about 4 times in school, all for not much reason apart from my unpopularity.

    Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood I just sit and think, why? The same time last night I was doing the exact same thing, in the same situation, and I felt in an ok mood.

    I am scared of failing, but at the same time I dont have the drive to get everything done, well, I dont know, I am always worried I am behind, out of my 4 assignments I've allready finished 2, ahead of allot of people, but I still feel I am fallling behind.

    Not trying to make light of what you're going through but I can truthfully say that it sounds
    like you are at least trying to live life to the fullest. You're not a lot different from the rest of us. We are all out there struggling through life's constant battles and we all win some and lose some. All I can say is "It could be worse" but at least you're out there giving it hell. Which is more than you can say for some people who just give it up.

    Dennis Noward
  • Crapaud
    Crapaud Posts: 2,483
    redddraggon wrote:
    I've felt ok for the last week, after going home, but now I'm back in manchester I feel bad again.

    I know I've got plenty of time to do my work, but I've still got a fear of failure. I'm supposed to be starting a PhD in September but perhaps I'd be better off joining the RAF...


    :(
    Forget about failure (or success for that matter), do the best you can, RdD. Nobody, yourself included, can ask or expect anything more.

    I'm not sure how the system works, but I'd guess that being offered a place on a PhD course means that others think that your capable.

    It's good to hear that you've had a bit of respite. How's the work going and [nosy b@stard] what is it you're studying?[/nosy b@stard]
    A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject - Churchill
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,665
    Would you say it's normal thing that when you go out by yourself, you feel not very comfortable? I find if I walk into manchester on my own I've always got my head down, I have the feeling like everyone is looking at me for some reason and if anyone appears like they are looking for me I get nervious and just look away, I also struggle to talk to people I dont know too weirdly enough. If I have to go into town I get worked up about it and panic sometimes, allthough when I'm on my bike I can go through town ok, allthough when looking anywhere I feel like people are staring at me or think if I look over there they will think I am looking at em or something and think what's he looking at.
  • Stone Glider
    Stone Glider Posts: 1,227
    I have been watching this thread for some time and wondering if I can add anything to the general tide of good advice and good wishes that have flowed.
    When I was a schoolboy and college student I lived in Penarth and remember the area well, including Leckwith Hill. All I can add is that "sh*t happens" and that you are clearly a person of recognized ability and potential. Give yourself a chance by breaking down the tasks that are a burden to you and deal with each part in turn. You have the ability to prioritize these tasks if you give them your attention.
    The local MP for Cardiff SE at one time was Jim Callaghan and I treasure the memory of "Sunny Jim" in a newsclip driving a huge crawler 'dozer at the opening of some by-pass or other. Jim was supposed to lurch this monster a few feet forward to impress the assembled entourage. Instead, in a huge cloud of deisel smoke, he set off over the landscape pushing an increasing pile of dirt with the 'dozer blade, leaving everyone to scramble after him. They found him a few hundred yards down the slope, tracks churning impotently, with a massive pile of dirt in front of the blade. When asked what had happened he replied that it was all so much fun that he didn't want to stop.

    This may, or may not; be relevant to the OP.

    Bon chance.
    The older I get the faster I was
  • heavymental
    heavymental Posts: 2,094
    willhub wrote:
    Would you say it's normal thing that when you go out by yourself, you feel not very comfortable? I find if I walk into manchester on my own I've always got my head down, I have the feeling like everyone is looking at me for some reason and if anyone appears like they are looking for me I get nervious and just look away, I also struggle to talk to people I dont know too weirdly enough. If I have to go into town I get worked up about it and panic sometimes, allthough when I'm on my bike I can go through town ok, allthough when looking anywhere I feel like people are staring at me or think if I look over there they will think I am looking at em or something and think what's he looking at.

    Will, I think maybe it'd be a good idea to look up some way of working on your confidence and becoming more able to cope in social situations.

    Does this sound familiar....

    From wikipedia..... Agoraphobia is a condition where the sufferer becomes anxious in environments that are unfamiliar or where he or she perceives that they have little control. Triggers for this anxiety may include wide open spaces, crowds, or traveling (even short distances). This anxiety is often compounded by a fear of social embarrassment, as the agoraphobic fears the onset of a panic attack and appearing distraught in public......

    It might be an idea to see if you can find some counselling or at least read up a bit on how you feel. Even if the above doesn't hit the nail on the head, what you're feeling might be something similar. It helps to know thats its a recognised condition with a name and treatment available so you can address it and move forward. Good luck.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,665
    I guess so, even here in college today I'm nervous walking from here to the food counter to get a drink.

    I'll have to have a look around, I don't like the sound of counseling though.
  • heavymental
    heavymental Posts: 2,094
    willhub wrote:
    I'll have to have a look around, I don't like the sound of counseling though.

    A lot of people find the idea of counselling to be a nightmare but if you just think of it as going to see someone who will listen to you, understand how you feel and offer some help then that might make it a bit more manageable. There's no shame in it and you may well find that just talking about it with someone who isn't going to laugh at you or feel uncomfortable is of benefit. If you don't like talking about it then maybe they can give you some reading material that will help you work it out for yourself. I'm sure there's plenty on the net so have a look for something that rings true with you. It may even help to join a forum where you can post your thoughts somewhere with likeminded members.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,665
    I just think I'd have trouble explaining anything to them, I can never explain things everything just gets tangled up in my head. It just does seem serious enough to get help, I dont think I'd be able to eplain.

    Like for example if I am in an argument with someone or just trying to tell them I am right and proove it, when I am right, I always get prooved wrong even if I am right cause I can never explain stuff properly, or basically, I can never pull up memorys from my head fast enough so it takes me time to produce what I am wanting to say people just think I've been making something up.

    I think I'll just find a forum or something and post and see what they say.
  • heavymental
    heavymental Posts: 2,094
    A lot of it comes down to confidence, Will. When you're confident in talking and social situations you can think quickly and get accross what you want to say without getting tangled up like you say. From that point comes humour and all kinds of other conversational skills. You don't necessarily have to be clever or smart to be good at talking and interacting with people. You just have to be confident in yourself. When you're shot through with anxieties even buying a pint of milk in the local shop is a worry because you're worried about getting into a conversation.

    You need to get a bit of confidence in yourself and that comes from practice in conversation. But, it needs to be done in an environment where that confidence is able to grow. If you think of the most insensitive person you know and imagine trying to explain to them how you feel then you can imagine their response and how that would make you feel. Now imagine talking to someone who would listen, be patient and not rush or pressure you. It would be much easier to get out what you want to say and that means you can develop that confidence and get to that point where you don't feel tangled up and anxious. Go find someone who's paid to listen and be patient with people with problems they find difficult to talk about.
  • redddraggon
    redddraggon Posts: 10,862
    Will is nervous walking around public because he thinks everyone is looking at him, but that's probably because they are looking at him :lol:
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  • heavymental
    heavymental Posts: 2,094
    Erm, not helpful redd.

    We could lay into you and your problems as well if you want....
  • redddraggon
    redddraggon Posts: 10,862
    Have you seen Willhub? It's only paranoia if it's an unfounded fear.....
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