Forum home Commuter cycling forum Commuting chat

I do like a good argument

atticaattica Posts: 2,362
edited March 2009 in Commuting chat
Little more than 300 yards into my training ride this morning and I was quite dramatically left hooked by an Audi turning into the supermarket on two wheels, I avoided all contact but did end up in the car park rather than continuing along the road as I would have liked.
I'd also bellowed out a massive Oi! as this was happening, it's far more effective than a bell so Mr Audi was well aware of my displeasure.

Moments later I found myself rather glad that I was wearing a helmet as Mr Audi had streaked across the car park, parked and leapt out of the car chest first shouting "what's your problem?", he was a big chap and seriously pi$$ed off.

I decided on an opening gambit of "Are you really in that much of a hurry that you have to endanger my life?" But I was shouted down with "If your lot obeyed the rules of the road, blah blah shouty sweary shout" I let him say his piece, then without shouting I asked, "Tell me, what rule was I breaking?"

<VERBAL SCALP!!!>

His simian forehead creased momentarily, he shut up and I could almost hear his one brain cog grinding to a halt.

After this short pause while he rebooted the response came loud and repeated many times "Just f**k off!", I got bored of waiting for an opportunity to drive home my advantage, so left with a parting shot

"Your arguments, sir, are eloquent and persuasive" (there may well have been a hint of sarcasm in my voice here)

I was extra incensed by the language he was prepared to use in front of his 10ish year old daughter.
I really dislike the society we live in at times like these, where that sort of behaviour is possible.

Had a great ride after that and got nattering to two complete strangers, both on bikes as I took in some of the more challengng hills around here. I arrived home refreshed and at peace with the world again.
"Impressive break"

"Thanks...

...I can taste blood"

Posts

  • fossyantfossyant Posts: 2,549
    Very well done..... :D
  • itboffinitboffin Posts: 19,720
    Very glad your uninjured & of course enjoyed your training ride, not training for the April social ride by any chance :wink:
    Rule #5 // Harden The censored Up.
    Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
    Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
    Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.
  • atticaattica Posts: 2,362
    Haha, bit of a recce I must admit, see WSR thread.
    "Impressive break"

    "Thanks...

    ...I can taste blood"
  • NGaleNGale Posts: 1,866
    You know Clarkson is right...Audi's are driven by tossers :lol: 8)
    Officers don't run, it's undignified and panics the men
  • chuckcorkchuckcork Posts: 1,471
    I would have thought a fist slamming into he side of the Audi as he turned across your path would have been a more suiatble response that Oi!.

    It is highly audible and indicates quite clearly that you are in exteremely close proximity to his vehicle, on top of which has the pleasant effect of startling the bejesus out of the occupant of the vehicle and making him think he'censored you, after which he can't claim he was nowhere near you...
    'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze....
  • majormantramajormantra Posts: 2,094
    NGale wrote:
    You know Clarkson is right...Audi's are driven by tossers :lol: 8)

    Isn't there some kind of rule about saying that on a cycling forum? :D

    To the OP: respect for keeping your cool.

    Matthew
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    What a t*t. Nicely dealt with.

    I've done the 'fist on window' myself and yes, it has quite a startling effect!
  • Kieran_BurnsKieran_Burns Posts: 10,052
    chuckcork wrote:
    I would have thought a fist slamming into he side of the Audi as he turned across your path would have been a more suiatble response that Oi!.

    It is highly audible and indicates quite clearly that you are in exteremely close proximity to his vehicle, on top of which has the pleasant effect of startling the bejesus out of the occupant of the vehicle and making him think he'censored you, after which he can't claim he was nowhere near you...

    I did once punch an Avensis for just that. He pulled back in WAY too soon to make a roundabout and I didn't even have to lean. I meant to just hit it enough to make him realise I was there. Unfortunately ( :wink: ) the adrenaline kicked in and I left one hell of a dent in the rear nearside wing!
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • rally200rally200 Posts: 646
    Had a shaven headed pr*tt in an ancient imprezza overtake me stop in my path and scream at me for having the audacity to cross aroundabout at 20+mph - he had been following (far) behind me and had obviously based his desicion to enter the junction on being able to clear it at 50mph . i heard a screach of brakes and blaring horn and turned to see as a car nearly hit him from the right. I decide discretion was the better part of valour let him scream at me from a distance, while I give him a look of "are you mental?", then in a hiss of malfunctioning turbo he sped off into the next roundabout - screech, brakes, tyres, horn - a car skids to a halt inches from broadsiding him from the right again, 2nd screaming fit ensues. I laughed my socks off, Is it wrong to wish he had hit him?
  • No mate, no it's not.

    I can't think o anyone driving an Imprezza that isn't a complete nob. It's the most obvious expression of phallic insecurity there is I think.
  • Kieran_BurnsKieran_Burns Posts: 10,052
    I might post a link to this thread from the board I moderate on: www.scoobynet.com :wink::lol:
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • NGaleNGale Posts: 1,866
    NGale wrote:
    You know Clarkson is right...Audi's are driven by tossers :lol: 8)

    Isn't there some kind of rule about saying that on a cycling forum? :D

    To the OP: respect for keeping your cool.

    Matthew

    Hey who would have thought there would have been a day when cyclists and Clarkson see eye to eye.

    Actually I do like Clarkson, he is unashamed in his view, he dosen't try to hide what he thinks about the environmental groups, cyclists etc. You know where you stand with him at least. Also his bark is worse than his bite.
    Officers don't run, it's undignified and panics the men
  • girv73girv73 Posts: 842
    "Tell me, what rule was I breaking?"
    "Your arguments, sir, are eloquent and persuasive"

    <coffee-snort/> nice job Attica :lol:

    I've noticed the Audi thing too. It's as if all the tossers who used to drive BMWs have swapped them for Audis now. Shame, I like Audis.
    Today is a good day to ride
  • chuckcorkchuckcork Posts: 1,471
    NGale wrote:
    Hey who would have thought there would have been a day when cyclists and Clarkson see eye to eye.
    .

    I remember one bit on his show where he made a really great play of going to the effort of putting on all his bike gear, hopping on his bike, riding 3 metres and then hopping off again, making the point that the problem with cycle lanes is that "they don't join up".

    If only he was less inclined to put on weight and sit behind the wheel of a car, and more inclined to support cycling, that it would free up road space and reduce congestion for him and his fellow petrol heads, assuming he could get his head around such a concept, we'd have a highly outspoken supporter, who controversial or not gets heard and who might change opinions.

    Sadly never likely to be the case and he'll stay the entertaining idiot that he is. :cry:
    'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze....
  • Christophe3967Christophe3967 Posts: 1,200
    girv73 wrote:
    nice job Attica :lol:

    I've noticed the Audi thing too. It's as if all the tossers who used to drive BMWs have swapped them for Audis now. Shame, I like Audis.

    +1 Atticia.

    Not sure I'd agree about Audis though. Beamers are really in a league of their own when it comes to muppetry. :x
  • edhornbyedhornby Posts: 1,780
    girv73 wrote:

    I've noticed the Audi thing too. It's as if all the tossers who used to drive BMWs have swapped them for Audis now. Shame, I like Audis.

    funnily enough, Clarkson, May and Hammond (TopGear presenters) have come to the same conclusion and that therefore it's ok to buy a beamer again....
    "I get paid to make other people suffer on my wheel, how good is that"
    --Jens Voight
  • ceecee Posts: 4,553
    can't believe nobody was tempted.......

    I do like a good argument

    No you don't.
    Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.

    H.G. Wells.
  • CiBCiB Posts: 6,098
    cee wrote:
    can't believe nobody was tempted.......

    I do like a good argument

    No you don't.
    Is this the 5 minute argument then, or the full half hour? You'll have to pay...
  • NFMCNFMC Posts: 232
    What amazes me is that people will act and talk like that in front of their kids. I drive with two young boys in the back (5 and 3) of my car and make sure I say nothing at all rude in front of them.

    I do believe some of the problem is down to us cyclists. I get anoyed at the RLJs and pavement jumpers along with the rest of them. The problem is that we're so visible and then the aggressive drivers seem to think we're all the same.
  • Taking this off in a slightly tangential direction.

    Our eldest when he was two was taught by my missis, whilst driving - to give out a very loud and blasphemous "Jesus Christ" - sounds funny from a two year old.

    It's not good to swear in front of the kids.

    A few months ago I had a bit of a set to with a RLJ'er who nearly took out the kids on a pelican crossing,
    I pointed out the light was red and this means stop
    He pointed out that I had no control of the kids
    Crossing the road at a pedestrian crossing and waiting for the green man is exactly what they should be doing came my terse reply - silence - then me questioning his intellgence and asking if he'd like to get off the bike ...he didn't want to and it petered out

    Two minutes later a question from the middle child "dad what's a tw*t"

    perfect....great start to the day, shouldn't have done it
    No Babbit No, Look what Birdy doing
  • atticaattica Posts: 2,362
    NFMC wrote:
    What amazes me is that people will act and talk like that in front of their kids. I drive with two young boys in the back (5 and 3) of my car and make sure I say nothing at all rude in front of them.

    I do believe some of the problem is down to us cyclists. I get anoyed at the RLJs and pavement jumpers along with the rest of them. The problem is that we're so visible and then the aggressive drivers seem to think we're all the same.

    +1 for that NFMC

    I made a similar point on the Critical Mass thread and was duly shouted down.

    I hate the fact that any numpty can by a £40 tesco special and bimble around town on pavements and through reds completely unaware of the resentment they're causing in motorists and that we all then suffer the consequences.

    This was ably demonstrated by my encounter and the chaps use of the phrase "your lot"
    "Impressive break"

    "Thanks...

    ...I can taste blood"
  • Eau RougeEau Rouge Posts: 1,118
    I've not had this "your lot" thing yet, lucky no doubt. Tempted to reply along the line of "your lot kill 3,000 people a year" but think that might be a bit too crass.
  • girv73girv73 Posts: 842
    I do like a good argument
    No you don't.
    Is this the 5 minute argument then, or the full half hour? You'll have to pay...

    No I won't.
    Today is a good day to ride
  • chuckcorkchuckcork Posts: 1,471
    Eau Rouge wrote:
    I've not had this "your lot" thing yet, lucky no doubt. Tempted to reply along the line of "your lot kill 3,000 people a year" but think that might be a bit too crass.

    Its t'truth, not at all crass, I try and bear in mind each time I've driving my (wife's) car that I'm in charge of a potentially lethal weight of metal travelling at what for someone else could well be fatal speed.

    Not least when I actually do have missus and child in the back....
    'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze....
  • fossyantfossyant Posts: 2,549
    TBH I use "Oi" quite a bit if cut up - I've had someone literally lift off their seat in shock - she'd pulled out from some shops, me coming down on a road bike, so just switch to the white line, level with her window and ...."Oi"...she leapt...... :twisted:
Sign In or Register to comment.