Silliest Injuries

Cycling Dave

I'm convalescing in my mother's house after a bit of a daft injury.

I got locked into my flat (one floor up) after my flatmate accidentally went out with my key.
I get cabin fever if I'm in the flat for too long (I had a day off) and besides, I had a doctor's appointment to get to (my mobile phone, as fate would have it, being in a friend's car at the time). :oops:

I decided to go out the window of my flat (dreeping, as we say up here, instead of going out facing away from the window).

To cut a long story short I ended up with three fractured vertebrae and am in a back brace for 6 weeks. Off the bike for another month on top of that probably.

Can anyone top that for stupidity? Any other Darwin Award wannabes? The irony of having to go to the doctor put a smile on a few faces at the hospital :oops:

janm399

Ouch! Get well really soon!

I didn't break anything, but managed to get quite substantial road rash on my bum. Just after Christmas, I was taking the bike down to the cellar for the night, but I didn't take my shoes off first -- something I do all the time. Anyhoo, I slipped on the second step and slid down on my arse with bike and all all the way down to the cellar.

I untangled myself from under the bike, checked the bike and checked by own injuries. The bike was OK, I ripped my almost brand new Assos tights and I had a massive road rash on my arse. The next few days were pretty rough -- I do computer programming, which involves a lot of sitting down.

I think this may get me a second place in this week's Darwin awards.

always_tyred

I had a gf at uni who was infamous for a drunken base jump of similar proportions. She only broke one vertibra, though, so possibly not as daft.

Feltup

Not in the same league as you folks but I did manage to smack myself in the face last night. I was trying to un do my bottom bracket and having to get leverage by gripping the seat stay with my other hand when the BB loosened as did the spanner on the BB. My hand whipped back and the spanner hit me right in the groove of my top lip. Result - split lip :roll:

itboffin

I sliced a little bit of finger off yesterday, only a tiny piece but it sure bleed a lot

gtvlusso

Took dog out mountain biking at the weekend:

Border Collie - 8 months old.

I am trying to get her used to running around the bike rather than directly in front of as she has a tendancy to stop and pick up sticks. Anyway - belting through Leigh Woods MTB track in Bristol with dogly, fine day, lots of mud and puddles. Dog decides to pick up log right infront of me - consequently log goes thorugh front wheel. I go one way, bike goes the other way - resulting in elbow grazes and a gash on my leg. Bike is totalled (needs new front wheel as most of the spokes ripped out, RockShox Reba race forks bent - oil and air seals have gone. bent bars and so on). Dog sits there looking at me with sheared off bit of wood in her mouth as a lie in a big puddle of mud - thankfully the wood sheared otherwise she would have been catapulted miles!

Cost of day to me: £500, Resulting injusy: painful, look on dogs face as I was sat in a puddle: priceless.

always_tyred

gtvlusso wrote:

Took dog out mountain biking at the weekend:

Border Collie - 8 months old.

I am trying to get her used to running around the bike rather than directly in front of as she has a tendancy to stop and pick up sticks. Anyway - belting through Leigh Woods MTB track in Bristol with dogly, fine day, lots of mud and puddles. Dog decides to pick up log right infront of me - consequently log goes thorugh front wheel. I go one way, bike goes the other way - resulting in elbow grazes and a gash on my leg. Bike is totalled (needs new front wheel as most of the spokes ripped out, RockShox Reba race forks bent - oil and air seals have gone. bent bars and so on). Dog sits there looking at me with sheared off bit of wood in her mouth as a lie in a big puddle of mud - thankfully the wood sheared otherwise she would have been catapulted miles!

Cost of day to me: £500, Resulting injusy: painful, look on dogs face as I was sat in a puddle: priceless.

Good job it wasn't the dog's muzzle.

flattythehurdler

Wait for the look on it's face when you take it to the vet's

edhornby

p1ssed one night I raced a mate up some stairs and slipped - very bruised rib (probably a small fracture) - doofus !

gtvlusso

My silliest injury was the kicking I received from a French Police officer after sleeping on the street in Paris......

I was 17, first holiday abroad with mates, got drunk, got split up from mates, slept in doorway - unfortunatly for me, I had stolen an ashtray from a local bar and had it in my pocket....picked up by local rozzas, bollocked in French, whilst I was still p1ssed...anyway, I was searched and said ashtray was found - (bear in mind that I had fired up a ciggie at this point). Rozza waves the ashtray in my face shouting "que est qu c'est?" - "What is this?!. I tap off the ash of my cigarette into the ahstray and say "Thank you my good man" - result was a broken jaw, 3 broken ribs, being deported and banned for 3 years......Thank you British consulate!

Silly injury - the whole incident is never spoken of in my parents home.

However, I was arrested again (without injury) - in Italy for evading arrest on a mini-moto. Had just abandoned a blown up £150 6 series BMW that myself and 5 mates bought to do a sumball rally to Milan - no tax, no insurance, no MOT - no worries. The car only ran on 5 of it's 6 cyclinders...I hid a mini moto folded up in the boot should we need to get help when it breaks down or make a run for it - as it happens, it was the latter.

I think the Italian Police secretly thought this was hilarious.....

always_tyred

gtvlusso wrote:

My silliest injury was the kicking I received from a French Police officer after sleeping on the street in Paris......

I was 17, first holiday abroad with mates, got drunk, got split up from mates, slept in doorway - unfortunatly for me, I had stolen an ashtray from a local bar and had it in my pocket....picked up by local rozzas, bollocked in French, whilst I was still p1ssed...anyway, I was searched and said ashtray was found - (bear in mind that I had fired up a ciggie at this point). Rozza waves the ashtray in my face shouting "que est qu c'est?" - "What is this?!. I tap off the ash of my cigarette into the ahstray and say "Thank you my good man" - result was a broken jaw, 3 broken ribs, being deported and banned for 3 years......Thank you British consulate!

Silly injury - the whole incident is never spoken of in my parents home.

However, I was arrested again (without injury) - in Italy for evading arrest on a mini-moto. Had just abandoned a blown up £150 6 series BMW that myself and 5 mates bought to do a sumball rally to Milan - no tax, no insurance, no MOT - no worries. The car only ran on 5 of it's 6 cyclinders...I hid a mini moto folded up in the boot should we need to get help when it breaks down or make a run for it - as it happens, it was the latter.

I think the Italian Police secretly thought this was hilarious.....

If I was you, I'd avoid travelling to south america or anywhere like that.

gtvlusso

Always Tyred wrote:

gtvlusso wrote:

My silliest injury was the kicking I received from a French Police officer after sleeping on the street in Paris......

I was 17, first holiday abroad with mates, got drunk, got split up from mates, slept in doorway - unfortunatly for me, I had stolen an ashtray from a local bar and had it in my pocket....picked up by local rozzas, bollocked in French, whilst I was still p1ssed...anyway, I was searched and said ashtray was found - (bear in mind that I had fired up a ciggie at this point). Rozza waves the ashtray in my face shouting "que est qu c'est?" - "What is this?!. I tap off the ash of my cigarette into the ahstray and say "Thank you my good man" - result was a broken jaw, 3 broken ribs, being deported and banned for 3 years......Thank you British consulate!

Silly injury - the whole incident is never spoken of in my parents home.

However, I was arrested again (without injury) - in Italy for evading arrest on a mini-moto. Had just abandoned a blown up £150 6 series BMW that myself and 5 mates bought to do a sumball rally to Milan - no tax, no insurance, no MOT - no worries. The car only ran on 5 of it's 6 cyclinders...I hid a mini moto folded up in the boot should we need to get help when it breaks down or make a run for it - as it happens, it was the latter.

I think the Italian Police secretly thought this was hilarious.....

If I was you, I'd avoid travelling to south america or anywhere like that.

Hmm - been to South America a few times......Luckily whilst married (calms a reckless soul). I can tell you a story about a fuel stop in South Chicago in a big Chevy pick, wearing a cowboy shirt and cowboy boots - I thought I was gonna die.......business travel the stupid way!

chuckcork

Silliest? Pushing down hard because something was slightly stuck and I couldn't be arsed to unstick it, just give a bit of force pushing down using my chest, my ribs naturally enough didn't like this and went *pop*.

Stupidest way to break ribs I ever heard, sleeping for the next few weeks was a rather painful experience.

Jamey

You know when you get two frozen burgers stuck together and need to separate them. Well I decided to hold the double-frozen-burger in one hand and force a knife between them with the other hand, prior to twisting the knife to separate.

Unfortunately I never got the chance to do the clever twisting part as the first bit (getting the knife between them) required a fair bit of force, whereupon the burgers suddenly flew apart and the knife stabbed right into the middle of my palm. Well done me.

I still cooked and ate them, though. I'll do anything for a burger.

cee

a drunken one here.....

Wrecked one night with a few mates stumbling around, for some reason was ahead of said mates on our way back to one of their houses. Happened upon a container (like container ship containers...) decided it would be a good dea to climb on top and then jump down on my mates....

Didn't even make it on top of the blasted thing....the top was slippier than a slippy thing that had just been polished with super slip...fell off, ankle swollen up like a balloon, but thankfully not broke, ripped the ar$e right out of my jeans and never noticed till my girlfriend pointed out to me the next day when i returned home. Luckily there were only 3 ro 4 of her closest friends in the room!

:oops:

Cycling Dave

Thanks lads. This is cheering me up no end. :P

iain_j

Broke my wrist years ago. Cycling home from town with a carrier bag hooked on the handlebars. Traffic lights go green, I push off, bag gets snagged in front wheel, I go flying over the handlebars, put my hand out to stop myself (??) and hit the heel of my hand against the kerb.

That was mid afternoon. Apart from badly bruised ego, I was OK - I dusted myself off, rearranged the shopping and rode home. Woke up overnight with a very sore wrist, took myself to hospital next morning, got X-rayed, got plastercast for 4 weeks.

And what was in the carrier bag that started it all? A new bike helmet!

Kieran_Burns

I was very young - I think maybe 6 or 7 and my Mum used to use hat pins. Great long ones, like mini swords (or so they looked to me when I was that tiny)

My father had brought home a HUGE (okay okay, It LOOKED it) magnet from the back of a TV and me being me... the budding techie I now am found it fascinating that the pins would stick up at all sorts of odd angles depending entirely upon where you put them on the magnet.

They would obviously stick straight up if they were in the middle, and me being me (ahem) I forgot that I left them (about half a dozen) in the middle of the magnet when I went to pick it up.

Cue 6 pins straight through my hand and out the other side.

I plonked my hand straight down and simply didn't feel a thing. I picked the magnet up and wondered why it felt a bit weird and looked at my hand to see it had become a mini pin cushion. I was utterly fascinated by this and looked the heads buried in my palm and these 6 pins sticking out the other side. I can clearly remember flipping my hand back and forth, back and forth staring at these pins.

Realising it shouldn't REALLY be like this I wandered off and found my Mum. Showed her my hand and tried to explain the logical series of events that concluded with me looking like a little hedgehog. I didn't get chance as she screamed the damn' house down looking at me with the pin hand of DOOM.

Of course, me being the impressionable youngster realised at THIS point that really the pins WERE hurting and starting crying like a good 'un. My Mum tried to pull them out but couldn't get to the pin heads as they were too deeply embedded so had to turn my hand over, put the pins on the table and push.

Cue Stuck Pig Squeals.

Not me. Her.

I'm staring at these pins miraculously appearing from my hand and wishing my Mum would just shut up.

Boy did i get in trouble for that one.

cougie

Ow ow ow !

One thing you shouldnt do is bike maintenance when you are riding it.

I remember as a schoolie looking down at my bars and noticing that the end plug on my right hand side was hanging out. So I whacked it with the palm of my hand.

Imagine my surprise when the bike shot off towards the kerb....

Stayed on it though.

Lately I've broken my foot running up stairs racing a 2 year old.

iain_j

Kieran - that's impressive! One of my mates at school drilled through his hand once in a woodwork lesson. Didn't see it happen but I saw the scars.

I've remembered another, I've posted it on this forum before. Me and a mate, I must have been aged about 10 at the time, he was a bit younger, thought it would be really clever for one of us to ride slowly down the road with eyes shut while the other called out "right" and "left" as necessary to avoid hitting things.

I went first. I hadn't been going long when the call to go right started getting a bit more frantic. "Right... Right! Riiight! RIGHT!!!". I didn't think to open my eyes to see why he was sounding panicky - BANG - I hit the kerb, went over the bars and chipped half of one of my front teeth off.

Turned out my mate didn't know his left from his right

jedster

OK

Skiing holiday. 5 pints of "the numbers" at piste side bar at the end of the day. Ski down to our chalet miraculously avoiding injury. Decide it's time to mix cocktails. Can't find a juicer for the limes but can find a handy looking carving knife. Attempt to juice limes with a sort of twisting motion with the carver. Partially successful until knife parts lime peel like butter and slices through my thumb.

One of the other guests is a vet. Takes a look at my hand spurting blood into the sink. "ooooh, that's a bit nasty, I'd stitch it myself but dont have my gear".

Mate appears from beneath the sink waving a juicer "here you go mate".

Cue visit to "Dr Smash".
J

ianmichaeljones

I offer this in the spirit of never-do-this to fellow cyclists - though who would be this stupid?

Bought a take-away latte to take back to work and set off on my road bike carrying it in my right hand which was also resting on the handlebars. Quiet road, only 500 yards to the office.

But what's this? The bike is slightly 'between gears' on the cassette. Can't shift with the right hand which, although it's on the shifter hood, is carrying the coffee. So I reach across with the other hand - both hands now on the right side of the bars - and press down on the old Campag thumb button.

Result - if you ever wondered: bars instantly turn ninety degrees, and I'm over the top and onto the road head-first. Cheekbone broken in two places and six stitches in my face.

And I never even got to taste the coffee, though I did find the complementary biscuit in my pocket in A&E, somewhat broken. One good consequence: I wear a helmet now even if I'm just going to the corner shop (I mean on my bike, obviously).

biondino

IMJ, I tried to do pretty much exactly that, while carrying sheet glass :shock: Astonishingly, although I veered wildly into the oncoming lane, there were no cars in it to run me over and somehow I stayed on the bike.

Won't be doing that again.

marchant

Not an injury (except maybe to pride), but I walked into a plate glass window, thinking it was a door. What made it worse, it was in an opticians :oops: I also stabbed myself in the leg trimming a lead miniature; I sat there with the full length of the scalpel blade embedded just above my knee. Never sought medical attention either, just pulled it out & staunched the blood with bog roll.

redvee

Done the walking into window thing at school. Climbed the stairs and saw the door was closed, the door was 12" thick wooden frame at the bottom with 6" top and sides so I stepped over the bottom but forgot about the glass :oops: luckily I was the only one present. On another occaison I was in the bosses office and leant on the secretary's desk with my fingers curled around the stapler, my full weight went onto the stapler resulting in the stapler compressing onto my finger and a snakebite wound in the end of my index finger but not much blood.

Barrie_G

Taking a car tyre off the rim when the lever slipped, sprung upwards and put a neat little half inch long hole through my bottom lip.

Riding along nice hot summers day, I decide to take my top off to work on my tan as I'm just riding around not doing much and loosely tie my top to the handle bars, a slight gust of wind catches the top and pulls it into the wheel which then tries to pull it through the forks and fail resulting in me being catapulted over the bars towards the ground in a head first fashion putting my hands out to stop my face being the first point of contact with the ground resulting in me displacing the bones in my right wrist (which still gives me bother 5 years later ) and some lovely road rash covering my chest.

El Yanqui

I got my brand new Trek Valencia on Wednesday. While riding it home by the Tower of London I got swiped by a black cab sending me flipping over the handlebars while he drives off. The bike is okay, slightly scuffed but better than myself with lumps, bruises and road rash.

Last night we noticed an estate agent had illegally nailed a sign to our building's wall. I climb up to pull it down and both sign and I land on the sidewalk. Result: a night of pain, finally going to A&E today and finding I broke my wrist right through the joint. I have to go back on Wednesday to visit an orthopaedic surgeon to see if surgery will be necessary. No biking for a bit for me.

El Yanqui

Sorry. Double post. :roll:

lost_in_thought

Went out in fancy dress, wearing some of those pole-dancer-type shoes with the clear platform soles. They have very, very high heels, and I stumbled a bit on the path to the road from my door on my way out, sober.

Got back a lot later, fairly plastered, and had a moment of clarity thinking 'well I nearly fell over walking down the path sober, I'll definitely fall p!ssed, need to take off these heels'.

So I stood on one leg, put my right ankle on my left knee, grabbed the heel of the shoe and pulled. Unfortunately it was rather harder to get off than I'd anticipated, and the force of the pull sent me straight over. Due to the inebriation I seemingly made no effort whatsoever to stop myself, and landed right on the end of my big toe.

I woke up the next morning wondering what on earth was up with my foot, looked at it and drove myself to hospital, which hurt. I'd broken the big toe quite badly, and the metatarsal behind it. I had to wait 2 hours for my brother to come and pick me up.

mrdales

Taking a new Cannondale Super V500 out for it's maiden ride many years ago was flying down a fire break marvelling at the way the front fork absorbed the bumps whilst failing to notice the 6 foot high chicken wire fence spread across the track. Hit it at full chat causing me to part company with the bike. It rebounded back up the track whilst I went straight over the top like a human cannonball applying the chin brake as I landed. Track rash from forehead to chin and several moments spent trying to work out what had just happened. Still have the chipped front tooth.