Getting the missus involved
spudulike
Posts: 51
The advent of March marks a full year of mountain biking for me. I've gone from being a guy who walks round Follow the Dog to a guy who's now throwing himself at uphill sections with an "I can do this" mentality and a decreasing fear of technical downhill stuff. But I'm not getting out there as often as I want and there's one reason for this:
The Missus.
She's dead keen on me going out for a morning or an evening. She doesn't mind me driving off to the Peak District, meeting some friends and going cycling. But I do. I'm having a great time and I want her to see how much fun mountain biking can be. Trouble is she used to have to cycle into school on a bike that made a car look feathery-light, struggling uphill and down dale in all weathers whilst fighting the fact that of her 15 gears only 6 were available. In short; she hates cycling. But I want her to love it.
What can I do?
The Missus.
She's dead keen on me going out for a morning or an evening. She doesn't mind me driving off to the Peak District, meeting some friends and going cycling. But I do. I'm having a great time and I want her to see how much fun mountain biking can be. Trouble is she used to have to cycle into school on a bike that made a car look feathery-light, struggling uphill and down dale in all weathers whilst fighting the fact that of her 15 gears only 6 were available. In short; she hates cycling. But I want her to love it.
What can I do?
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Comments
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spudulike wrote:
What can I do?
Be thankful you've got an understanding missus who lets you do your own thing!
Still, if you're set on getting her involved, then it sounds like you'll have to break her conception that biking is a joyless chore.
Sounds like a good bike would be a start. Take her to one of the demo days perhaps, so she can see what a decent bike is like to ride.
Or take her shopping for a new one, women seem to quite like shopping.Less internal organs, same supertwisted great taste.0 -
I have a similiar situation, except my other half seems to up for biking until we actually get out and she seems unwilling to push herself. I know she isn't trying as she is considerable healthier than me and yet seems to lag behind quite alot.
She never stops me going out for a thrash at the weekends, but I hate the thought of her sitting at home bored while I am out having a ball.
Would love to buy her a new bike but with the impending redundancy before the year is up and the risk of her never getting into it, I'm realy unsure about spending that amount of money.
I think the issue may lay partly in most women seeming to be incapable of getting 'into' things to the same level as us simple men, this is especially present in things that involve tinkering; like computers, cars and bikes.0 -
My girlfriend announced a year ago that she wanted to get into cycling after coming to watch me take part in a few races like Dusk til Dawn and Enduro6 etc, although she said she didn't want to go MTBing. I convinced her a hybrid is what she needed (knowing we'll do a bit of offroading) and she bought a Specilaized Sirrus 07 in the sale. This was my choice as it was the lightest bike for the price that could take a bit of abuse. A light bike with a flat bar was the main criteria for the bike as I knew it could do it all and a light bike is much easier to handle and get up the hills. Besides £400 MTBs would of done her confidence more harm than good.
I bought some cyclocross tyres for it so we could go off roading (after some convincing) and also a rack for a bit of light touring.
1 year on and we've toured the Isle of Wight, rode Forest of Dean and Bedgebury MTB tracks and done loads of local runs. All this with a girlfriend who hadn't rode a bike in 6 years until she bought the Sirrus. When I finally get round to getting her an MTB (when she finally gets bitten by the MTB bug) she'll already have the skills and confidence as she's done loads of stuff on a fully rigid hybrid.0 -
I had the same problem. I decided after many years of been lazy, to get back into mountain biking. But I wanted to do something with the girlfriend that we could do together.
So I did as Supertwisted suggests and took her shopping for a bike (ended up buying her a Cannondale F5), some basic kit (helmet, camel back, shoes and shorts) and started her off with a bit of the blue at Dalby. Now she's addicted to it!!
It was a bit of a risk, that she wouldn't like it, but I think going for the best quality kit we could afford for her (to make her a comfortable a spossible), together with starting her off on nice gentle terrain helped.
She's only been mountain biking since August 08 and is already planning a full sus and a trip to Whistler in September!!! 0 -
I thought I'd idly suggest that she might want to take a look at Mrs Toast's blog ( http://firecat-a-go-go.co.uk )....she read it, enjoyed it and then said
"Please stop trying to make me go mountain biking. It's not happening"
The annoying part is that I know she'd enjoy it if she'd just forget about her hideous experiences as a kid.0 -
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spudulike wrote:Ishe read it, enjoyed it and then said
"Please stop trying to make me go mountain biking. It's not happening"
The annoying part is that I know she'd enjoy it if she'd just forget about her hideous experiences as a kid.
You're fighting a loosing battle mate. You can't MAKE somebody like stuff - they either will or they won't.
Stop wasting your time - if she wants to get involved she will. The only thing that you can possibly do is just to carry on carrying on. If you do enough and enjoy yourself enough, you never know, curiosity might get the better of her and she might decide to join in.
Failing that, sack her off and trade her in for a more compliant model :twisted:0 -
yeah,
you definitely will have more luck getting a roadie gf/wife into mtbing than a non-biking model...0 -
dave_hill wrote:spudulike wrote:Ishe read it, enjoyed it and then said
"Please stop trying to make me go mountain biking. It's not happening"
The annoying part is that I know she'd enjoy it if she'd just forget about her hideous experiences as a kid.
You're fighting a loosing battle mate. You can't MAKE somebody like stuff - they either will or they won't.
Stop wasting your time - if she wants to get involved she will. The only thing that you can possibly do is just to carry on carrying on. If you do enough and enjoy yourself enough, you never know, curiosity might get the better of her and she might decide to join in.
^ What he said. For example, I hate swimming lengths in a pool. It's cold, boring, and leaves you smelling of chlorine even after a vigorous scrubbing. If Mr Toast kept on trying to get me to go swimming, I'd get a bit annoyed. A bit like he gets annoyed when I try to impress upon him the sheer greatness of Star Wars (he doesn't even like Empire Strikes Back, wtf?!).:P
If she has absolutely no interest in mountain biking, then repeatedly badgering her about it is just likely to annoy her, and end up having the reverse effect. I ended up getting into mountain biking because Mr Toast was always so happy and enthusiastic after a blast in the woods. Plus he said it was a bit like the speeder chase scene in Return of the Jedi...
Point is, he never actively tried to get me into mountain biking. Well, he probably did, he was probably just a bit more subtle about it!
Oh, and glad she enjoyed the blog, Spud - but reading about me falling on my arse isn't probably that likely to inspire someone to take up the sport! 0 -
Fair enough. I'll just carry on enjoying myself and leave her to her own devices0
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Mrs Toast wrote:A bit like he gets annoyed when I try to impress upon him the sheer greatness of Star Wars (he doesn't even like Empire Strikes Back, wtf?!).:P
To be perfectly honest, he might have a point. The Empire Strikes Back was never really my favourite of the original three, I have to say A New Hope is still the original and best.Mrs Toast wrote:Plus he said it was a bit like the speeder chase scene in Return of the Jedi...
And you have to admit, the cafe at CyB is a bit like the cantina at Mos Eisley...!!Mrs Toast wrote:Point is, he never actively tried to get me into mountain biking. Well, he probably did, he was probably just a bit more subtle about it!
Oh dear, you missed it didn't you. Have you considered that Mr. Toast might actually be Darth Crust, Sith Lord of the Toast? And that he used a Sith mind trick on you? D'oh!!0 -
Absolutely the best thing you can do (IMO). Mrs.Blitz has her own road bike and mtb but when I go out with her, things are err..different. We have to actually ride somewhere with a destination in mind, stop and look at stuff, take pictures, find a 'nice' cafe etc etc.spudulike wrote:Fair enough. I'll just carry on enjoying myself and leave her to her own devices
Finding hidden lines and debating whether descents will 'go' has absolutely no meaning.0 -
dave_hill wrote:And you have to admit, the cafe at CyB is a bit like the cantina at Mos Eisley...!!
I think Coed-Y-Brenin just got bumped up the list of places to visit. A wretched hive of scum and villainy, awesome!dave_hill wrote:Oh dear, you missed it didn't you. Have you considered that Mr. Toast might actually be Darth Crust, Sith Lord of the Toast? And that he used a Sith mind trick on you? D'oh!!
I'm onto him now, I wondered why he kept flapping his arms around and saying, "The Lapierre Zesty isn't the bike you're looking for"... 0 -
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:roll:
See if she'd be up for hiring one from a trail center one summery day, something lightish, hardtail and sensible. Let her have a pootle around a very tame green route and meet up for a quick bite in the Cafe afterwards. Avoid the word mountain biking if you think it'd put her off even more, just call it a leisure trail or something. The magazines are always a bit too focused on going down steep, loose slopes which push you to the limit of falling off, mountain biking doesn't have to be that.
Besides, if you manage to get her into it, look at the crazy stuff you can get away with:
This is our kitchen, as of right now. It's raining outside and the shed leaks, so we have 4 bikes instead of the usual 2 in there \o/ I was also in the progress of fixing a flat on the Stumpy in that pic, I had an epic full day ride yesterday and seem to have picked up a puncture from the most miniscule little thorn I've ever seen
My other B1 full sus frame and tyre collection has to live in the leaky shed still Maybe next year we'll get a nice tyre rail going across the back of the kitchen?
The cactus in the background is leaning on those cookbooks as well, I had to repot it recently and although it seems to like growing upwards it's a bit thin, I think it's doomed! Anyone got hidden knowledge in saving 3 foot tall, 2 inch thick cactii? I want him to fatten up but I think I've repotted him too late!
Edit: Damn, I was trying to refrain from calling the cactus "him" but slipped in the last sentence. Ngggh.0 -
papasmurf. wrote:if you get you other half invovled you'll have two bikes to wash and lube up after rides..
Fnarrr!!! 0 -
Toasty wrote:This is our kitchen, as of right now
Nice. Very well co-ordinated and put together, but I'm afraid the bin lets it down a little. Are the floor tiles glazed or unglazed BTW? I find the unglazed ones are a bugger to clean if you spill anything remotely fatty on them.0 -
dave_hill wrote:Toasty wrote:This is our kitchen, as of right now
Nice. Very well co-ordinated and put together, but I'm afraid the bin lets it down a little. Are the floor tiles glazed or unglazed BTW? I find the unglazed ones are a bugger to clean if you spill anything remotely fatty on them.
Oh, no that's just our recycling bin. It only has cardboard and cleaned bottles in it, it's unfortunately tiny so overflows faster than we can empty it It's quite narrow but long, there's a sink, proper bin and dish washer behind where I stood to take the photos.
The floor is glazed stuff and mops up to a brand new sparkley shine very easily fortunately. We've got laminate wooden flooring in the dining/pc room area though. Sadly that stuff seems to expand a bit when it gets wet bike on it, oops.0 -
John You are not bringing the Missus with you on our rides Dude. I know your missing me cos I haven't been able to ride with my knackered knee and all, but get a hold of yourself man. She does everything else with you, she's probably glad to have some time away from you.
Keep the ride sacred. I thought I told you any way..... first rule of ride club is, you don't talk about ride club. :evil:0 -
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Aw hell. He's found me!0
