Silly Season

georgee

Has it finally arrived,

Moderate weather arrives and all manner of lunacy breaks out from all parties.

Today’s usually uneventful 14 mile commute included:

Some portly older bint in a BMW undertaking me into a junction where we were both turning right.
A pikey tool in a 3 series convertible (a theme here perhaps) squeezing past me and a fellow cyclist on a speed hump between parked cars either side of the road into the path an oncoming car with foot on the accelerator and hand on the horn.
A hoody wandering out into my path causing a near miss coming out of Richmond Park.
A school kid in Fulham wandering across the road aimlessly missing me with me telling her to use her eyes, for then her to walk straight into the cyclist behind me wiping him out onto the tarmac.
Getting overtaken by a chauffeured Volvo who then pulls straight into a parking space in front of me.

roger_merriman

Does seem so, had a lady just walk out the other day, I had spotted her as she was clearly in another world.

cjcp

Yep. Spot on. The clowns are out.

Littigator

IT IS!!!!! I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed. I rode with Mrs L to her work at London Bridge and then had a nice cruise back along west through Holborn Oxford Street and Hyde Park this morning. After the rest of this week being so quiet I wondered whatv had happened today. It was really busy and so many muppets it was almost unbelievable.

The best was a woman blocking the ASL filter lane and the ASL itself at Vauxhall Bridge lights. I pointed this out simply saying "You shouldn't be there" to which I received a fuming mouthful of abuse from her, I wasn't sure what she said as I was on her inside. I moved my bike in front of her which is what the ASL is for after all. To which she responded by holding her hand on her horn until the lights had changed and we had moved off, even as she turned left rouond the corner she was still on her horn.

Some pepple are so full of rage it's scary. She was so obviously in the wrong but was so full of fury all the could do was rant at us.

lost_in_thought

It seems so. The minicabs especially seem to be a little bit bonkers at the minute. I've been cut up a few times this week, and almost every time as I'm slamming my brakes on I see that little purple sticker...

Citizen Smith

I still can't get used to these scooters & motorbikes in the bus lanes....I feel it's only a matter of time before I am rear ended my some twonk who's trying to get through the smallest of gaps.

And as for drafting me.....well, that just ain't cricket! :evil:

redvee

Seems the peds in Bristol use their ears to cross the roads, even when wearing mp3 players :x

RyanB

Thank god for this thread! I thought I was going mad.
In the last week I've had more incidents than in my previous 18 months cycling to/from work.
People keep screaming at me to "cycle on the f**kin' road you tw4t!" despite the fact that I'm on a shared cycle path. Numpties walking out in front of me blindly while they text on their phones. Keep having to slam on the brakes to avoid clattering into headless chicken f**kwits. Can someone please tell pedestrians that they have a duty of care to watch where they walk?

Theres a lot of anger out there at the minute people. Be careful what you retaliate to.

redvee

Saw a girl walking on the pavement reading her book, this was on a quiet side street so no worry about other peds but there are lampposts etc.

nation

RyanB wrote:

People keep screaming at me to "cycle on the f**kin' road you tw4t!" despite the fact that I'm on a shared cycle path. Numpties walking out in front of me blindly while they text on their phones. Keep having to slam on the brakes to avoid clattering into headless chicken f**kwits. Can someone please tell pedestrians that they have a duty of care to watch where they walk?

This is why I avoid shared cycle paths like the plague, I think it's a terrible idea however it's implemented.

I had to bang on the roof of a Peugeot that was aimlessly wandering into the cycle lane this morning. Think that gave her a bit of a start. Probably not as much as she gave me given that she could easily have crushed me between her car and a pedestrian barrier fence.

Soul Boy

Ah, seems a lot of you have been wearing those invisibility jackets. I occasionally pick one up by mistake, looks exactly like my normal jacket, so its hard to tell until you're out on the road.

Now, if my housemate would just stop pinning the 'run me over' sign on the back of my bag....

DonDaddyD

Its starting to piss me off actually. Firstly all the roadworks and temporary traffic lights don't help. But its no excuse.

Just an hour ago I got sandwiched between a curb and a van today as the van tried drive across me turning left. Yesterday someone actually did drive across me! I've pulled out three time now in two days, each were ridiculous beyond belief.

Its not just motorists its also cyclists as well - fair weather cyclists insisting on squashing me into curbs or trying to overtake on the inside pushing me out onto oncoming traffic OR drafting when its clearly blocked ahead and I'm gonna need to stop don't help. Neither do the ones who RLJ switch lanes without looking (forcing the car behind them to emergency stop).

If people drive/ride stupid and hinder other people it has a cascade effect...

kieronymous

I moved to the top of a tower block at the top of the hill and now commute by hang glider. SUVs make great landing strips.

Getting home is a simple matter of the bungy cord I nicked from Skippers bridge, a grappling hook, and a passing SUV.

Let's hear it for the SUV drivers. They barely notice. Anything.

georgee

redvee wrote:

Wanting to ride in Sipson village in years to come.

Have you ever been to Sipson Village Redvee?

It's a hole, manky crappy little house all looking rather run down, just occupied by idiots who have bought houses in the past 50 years next to an international airport and now have bother to complain about it!

Don't believe the media hype that it's thatched cottages around a village green. To be honest a runway on top of the houses is no loss, maybe on top of the occupants is a bonus?

As I said, Silly Season!

Clever Pun

North side of Tower bridge some bloke in a polo was in his own lane and loads of beeping was going on, he pushed through and swung left into the outside lane swiping the front bumper of guy to his left who promptly stopped and the car behind him ploughed right into him

the_hundredth_idiot

I've noticed it too. It's got so that the wife's first question on an evening when I get home is, "So, tell me about today's near miss."

My "favourite" is still the guy in the old Vauxhall Cavalier who pulled out in front of me from a parking space (causing expletives from more than one orifice) and then proceeded to berate me at the next set of lights. My fault, it seems, as he had been indicating and I should therefore, I assume, have got out of his way.*

I've prepared my next line for when I'm really badly cut up by a crappy old car, "Hey, mate, why don't you swap that pile of shite for a couple of driving lessons and a copy of the Highway Code." Suggestions for improvement welcomed.

* I saw his indicators, he started to pull out while I still had just about enough time to stop so I grabbed the brakes, he then stopped moving so I thought he'd seen me and I released the brakes (still doing between 15 and 20 at that point). Oh no, it was just a pause - he was biding his time so he could cause maximum panic by waiting until I was really, really close until he finished pulling out.

Christophe3967

The Hundredth Idiot wrote:

I've prepared my next line for when I'm really badly cut up by a crappy old car, "Hey, mate, why don't you swap that pile of shite for a couple of driving lessons and a copy of the Highway Code." Suggestions for improvement welcomed.

Not improvements, just variations really:

"Ugly, fat, stupid.... and blind" Works best on women.
" Your parents must be sooo proud...."
"Evolution - its doesn't always pan out "
"Mummy let you out to play did she?"
"The Peugot 106 was voted the world's worse car recently" Works best on Peugot 106s
"The indicators are just there, on the side of the steering wheel"
"Did you have special driving lessons, or does it come naturally?"
"Ooh, look, it can talk"
"Do I look like the Invisible man?"
"Couldn't you afford one with indicators?"
"Lemming (s)" - for pedestrians.

Always remember to be as patronising as possible.

lost_in_thought

Two of my recent favourites when the opportunity arises:

'Trying to maintain the element of surprise, are we?' - those who don't indicate
'Get there faster did you? Miles ahead are you?' - for people who cut you up to stop at lights

A recent minicab driver told me to eff off and stop being an effing stupid effing b*tch after I used phrase 2 2 weeks ago. He then got an earful from his passenger. Score!

The Greg

To a cabbie near Hyde Park Corner:

"Next time you get that close at least have the decency to buy me some flowers".

The passengers p1ssed themselves laughing.

fossyant

Silly season up North was just before and after Christmas ...all quiet now....

I was knocked off just before Xmas (car hit me side on at 30 as I was going round a roundabout)....then had 4/5 really bad pull outs/near misses in early Jan..... all gone quiet up here, thank goodness..... :?

jinnan_tonnix

It is getting worse. A colleague was knocked off a little while back and I had a close call yesterday. Freewheeling down a hill, a bloke in a car pulls up to a junction sees me, then pulls out right in front of me. I could see him turning his head at my WTF(tm) hand-signals as I followed him, then he pulls into the next junction without indicating. Quelle wanquere.

And they've just shut the canal tow path until next Thursday! Aaaaargh! So it's a 100% road trip every day until then.

The standard of driving is so poor nowadays. That said, I slipped into Halfords last night (in the car) to pick up some things and I followed a car-full of youngsters also going to Halfords. They waited patiently at a junction for a cyclist, then followed at a slow speed and didn't overtake (even though there was an opportunity). It was a model of good, courteous driving. Quite remarkable. A pity that it is remarkable, these days.

The Chingford Skinhead

Blimey, it's not just me then? I was beginning to get paranoid

I've had two peds just wonder out in front of me. One in open road despite looking at me first, one while I was filtering on the cycle lane (left) and she was on the pavement, she saw the semi-stationery cars and simply walked out. Spidey senses meant I'd already clocked the danger and had the brakes covered. She had the decency to apologise. I waved her across with a slightly stern "cross safely"

Lots of cars getting closer and closer as they pass or simply deliberately pulling into the cycle lane so you can't pass while they are in the jam.

Today was worse. Took a diff route to work due to my Lidl visit - blimey the road was almost entirely lorries and vans - and none of them could have passed a test. It's a long wind road and up hill. Two big corners - on both I'm into the start of the corner when a van and a lorry decide they're going to pass me AND cut off the corner. Then had a police car roar up behind me so I pull over and the lorry in front of the police car decides I'm letting him throgh despite the blues and twos! Cue cut up and then blocking the police car DoH! Police car then turns right - oops wrong turn so does a loop and flies out of next junction across the road in front of me to turn left. FFS But it was the van and lorry on he corners that really go me Like Elvis I was all shook up. If that was my only serious option as a route to work I would sell the bike

W1

I think everyone needs an Airzound. I'm getting through a bottle every two days at the moment.

Christophe3967

W1 wrote:

I think everyone needs an Airzound. I'm getting through a bottle every two days at the moment.

Why not just call out? "Coooey" normally does the trick. 8)

lost_in_thought

Christophe3967 wrote:

W1 wrote:

I think everyone needs an Airzound. I'm getting through a bottle every two days at the moment.

Why not just call out? "Coooey" normally does the trick. 8)

I find 'OI!' followed by a muttered stream of expletives quite effective.

I used to shout 'ding' at errant pedestrians - I am my own bell.

Christophe3967

lost_in_thought wrote:

Two of my recent favourites when the opportunity arises:

'Trying to maintain the element of surprise, are we?' - those who don't indicate
'Get there faster did you? Miles ahead are you?' - for people who cut you up to stop at lights

A recent minicab driver told me to eff off and stop being an effing stupid effing b*tch after I used phrase 2 2 weeks ago. He then got an earful from his passenger. Score!

I like those. And impressed that you encountered a minicab driver that has that much English.