Best insult to your club or on your own, whilst riding
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Recently a white van man shouted at me "stop that pigeon".I assume he was implying that I resemble Dick Dastardly.How I laughed.Smarter than the average bear.0
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I was in my new club kit last week. Which consists of a lot of pink.
And riding past a group of chavettes (is that right for chav girls.....anyway) one shouted "ooooo look a pig on a bike"
I just shook my head and chuckled!Just a fat bloke on a bike0 -
Not had any abuse while cycling for a while. Couple of years ago while driving I had to have words with a small person who was not only riding his bike down the wrong side of the road, but insisted on trying to pass a parked car as I was doing the same, in an apparent attempt to amuse his pedestrian friends on the pavement. Company car, so I came to a halt leaving him no room to squeeze through, and hopped out.
"What the fcuk do you think you are doing?" I politely enquired
"Playing chicken" the oaf replied
"Well it's obvious you have the brain of a chicken" I observed "but probably not the life expectancy"
I then left, to the sounds of a lot of clucking.0 -
Once had a white van shout get out off the f*cking way, I'll knock you off next time. Just because I wouldn't ride in the gutter so he could get past. He had to slow down about a 100yds down the road, he did swerve @ me as I went past. I just turned round & smiled, carrying on my way. He must have gone a different way because I didn't see him again.Justice for the 960
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Not exactly an insult, but worth a mention. The evening after the Tour de France made its way through my patch of Kent, I was out of a spin when some drinkers in a pub garden shouted "You're going the wrong way to France" (or something like that). My retort that "I know, the b**tards wouldn't wait for me!" raised a good natured laugh.
Better than the chavs on the car who could only manage shouting "W**ker" last night ...0 -
I once had beer cans (still partially full) thrown at me from a builders van whilst going up a big hill.
Not the best insult, but probably the most memorable.
Bastards.0 -
Was told to get back to Pakistan last week by some Chavs who struggled with English.
Very confusingFixed, commute: Langster 08, FCN6
Road : Aravis (byercycles) Shimano 105 triple
Hybrid: Trek 7.2 FX, unused / unloved0 -
Maybe they think cyclists come from Pakistan.Smarter than the average bear.0
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chriskempton wrote:I once had beer cans (still partially full) thrown at me from a builders van whilst going up a big hill.
Not the best insult, but probably the most memorable.
Bastards.
Been there , hit on the leg by a can of beer
chavs in a fiesta.
Woman shouted at me to slow down once when she stepped out onto the road without looking , i was going uphill at the time so i was pretty chuffed
A punctured bicycle
On a hillside desolate
Will nature make a man of me yet ?0 -
Fat Head wrote:steve-m wrote:Was told to get back to Pakistan last week by some Chavs who struggled with English.
Very confusing
i see a pattern. cycling in london once i got told to go back to india!
We have to have balance with these things and I try to do my bit. A few weeks back I was run off the road deliberately by an eejit who did not like me being in front of him. He stopped to offer some verbal abuse and in the exchange the 'pleasantries' of pleasantries I detected an eastern European accent. I know, from experience, that you can throw all manner of insults at a Pole (for example) and he will not get offended. However, one thing is sure to upset him :twisted:.
So I told the eejit driver to f**k off back to RUSSIA & wound him up like a clockwork toy :twisted:
This also reminds me of a beautiful response to an insult I heard some 30 years ago. There was a long meal queue at the place where I worked and a black guy jumped the queue to join his black workmates. An English guy got annoyed and said, "Hey, we queue in this country - why don't you learn to do the same?"
The black guy replied with, "Why don't you f**k off to Australia and leave this country tu us blacks?"
Even the guy who had complained had to laugh.0 -
Well mine... not really an insult, but whilst doing a jaunt up a toe path came up behind an old chap and his wife walking along... I politly shouted... "excuse me"... nothing.... so a little louder "EXCUSE ME..."... still nothing... I'd now pretty much stopped behind them... about 2 ft behind them... shouting "E X C U S E M E" ... the old lady looks around, looks suprised ! and grabs her husbands arm.. and pulls him out of the way... (I've completly stopped by this point)... I apologise, and thank them as i ride past.... at which point the old chap shouts.... "Get a Bell"....
.... still makes me laugh... a bloody bell... would have needed a police siren !!!!.... lol0 -
Ieuanllan wrote:Don't know about you guys, but almost every time I go out, some kid or other will shout
"The wheels are turning!" as I ride past.
Why?
I've heard this one too. Only sensible reason I can come up with is because of a stroboscopic effect or maybe they are just morons.Winner: PTP Vuelta 2007
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Had some guy step out form behind a large parked lorry at night while carrying an armful of boxes so he had absolutely no way of seeing me coming. Bright lights with reflective vest never seena s a result, and I have to do an evasive manoeuvre to avoid him with a "watch out" shout.
I get the usual "sorry" to which I could only respond (I was doing about 20mph) that he almost was....'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze....0 -
Jake151 wrote:I just thought of another one I have had.
I rode up to school for an mock exam and got to school and reolised that i ride home again because the exam had been moved, I was in quite a bad mood as I was in the middle of some coursework that really needed doing when I left so on my way back home I go into a cycle lane and there are some people in the lane further on so i ride down it and turn the corner and have to slam on my brakes because the woman is still walking in the cycle path so i wait till the i have gone path the island and I hear her husband (who is walking on the pavement) "Careful you might get run over" and the woman goes "What by a cyclist" and I was in front of them by this point so I slam on my brakes turn around and start a massive argument about how she shouldn't be walking in the cycle path and that if I where to ride on the pavement she would have a massive go at me, I am basicly riding along at walking pace having this argument with this couple. And they end it with (after about 5 mins of arguing) "We are about to go to a funeral" and I was like "Well sorry but you shouldn't be walking in a cycle path" Started to ride off and I hear the bloke say "Arnt youths rude" i turn around and say "Not all of us SIR!"
anyway, rant over.
:evil:
I just love it when people are shocked to find bicycles passing them while they are walking up the middle of a clearly defined and signed cycle lane. One of my bikes makes a bit of a squeal when applying the brakes, very useful for making such peds jump out of their skin, particularly when they take the (totally to be expected) step sideways off the footpath into the cycle lane and I apply it less than 2 feet behind them.
Ah the joys of cycling.... :twisted:'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze....0 -
Hi
I was going up a narrow street - my side was clear, but there was a parked car on my right. Young guy in a car assumed he had right of way and would see me off - I right.
He stopped and shouted "YOU MAD COW - GET ON THE BL**DY PAVEMENT" - I don't usually get that - its usually get off the pavement - lol.
The usual two words - 2nd one being off usually works with idiots like that.0 -
was cycling in stratford today and had some chav shout "oi fat ass whtas with the shorts? " ( i was in my bib shorts) to which i slowed down a touch and replied " shouldn't be looking at my ars*e your boyfriends will get jealous" and then they ran and i pedalled HARD, (they were bigger than me)0
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was cycling in stratford today and had some chav shout "oi fat ass what's with the shorts? " ( i was in my bib shorts) to which i slowed down a touch and replied " shouldn't be looking at my ars*e your boyfriends will get jealous" and then they ran and i pedalled HARD, (they were bigger than me)0
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howiejmidlands wrote:I was in my new club kit last week. Which consists of a lot of pink.
And riding past a group of chavettes (is that right for chav girls.....anyway) one shouted "ooooo look a pig on a bike"
I just shook my head and chuckled!
I get this a lot....I don't even where Pink!0 -
Whilt out in my red lycra kit some teenagers shouter OMG its a sun burnt whale. Much to the amusement of the club members and virtually every passer by. Although I did not find it funny0
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I was CHEERED by a group of Chinese fellas as I pedalled past a bus stop last week! Chinese people know very little about cycling!
Head Hands Heart Lungs Legs0 -
Our club have been dubbed "the tellytubbies" by another local club after our change in kit.
I suppose that's an affectionate nickname though, not nasty.http://twitter.com/mgalex
www.ogmorevalleywheelers.co.uk
10TT 24:36 25TT: 57:59 50TT: 2:08:11, 100TT: 4:30:05 12hr 204.... unfinished business0 -
some years ago my buddy and me were cycling past a parked council lorry one sunday morning in the vale of leven and one of the guys sang the wicked witch of the west theme at us.
...still makes me giggle 0 -
A group of teenage girls scream out a car window:
"BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!!!"
(I was wearing a Scott Aspen helmet. ) 0
