What's the worst thing you've seen in the woods?

_Ferret_

Nice open question this one, could be a crash, could be being chased by a hunter, or being shot at.

For me it was riding on my local route and come round a corner to find some runner taking a dump on the side of the trail. The sight of a wrinkly white backside was enough to nearly make me hurl!
It's not even a small trail, or out of the way, it is a fire road not too far away from a road!

I have never pulled off a 180° skid with such precision and I promptly rode in the other direction, trying to hold back my breakfast.

Is this normal? Has anyone experienced something similar or even worse?

explosifpete

Well where do I start!
I've seen a middle aged woman having a pee(I hope) in epping
A 50+ farmer going at his lady friend while she was bent over the bonnet of there pick up
just off to the side of the road and have seen them quite a few times since
But the worst was while on a pleasent little ride with my girlfriend I saw two half naked men, well lets just say it wasn't good!

Oh and when I was about 14 I found a pentagram painted on the floor :twisted:

hondafanatic

I see dead people

_Ferret_

My girlfriend's mate claims to have seen dudes "doing it" in the woods. And that was recently - we've got over 2 foot of snow everywhere here - talk about extra uncomfortable...

explosifpete

I found a new wood to add on to one of my route that I was hoping to try untill I was told that it was a gay trading area.

Oh in the summer I saw a man taped to a tree, about half way up!

And on a darker note i know of a guy that found a man hanging from a tree

Eranu

Never seen anyone "going at it". Last summer me and one of my mates were out for a quick spin in the local Country Park, we came down this hill and in the dip at the bottom were 3 guys and a girl all with rifles...very strange.

BobbyTrigger

blo*dy hell.

Raymondavalon

hondafanatic wrote:

I see dead people

LMFAO!

The worst I've seen is an abandoned campsite strewn with rubbish. There was empty 2L Cola bottles, empty lager cans, food packaging and a dumped sleeping bag plastered in vomit.
Obviously someone had a piss up in the New Forest and didn't have the common decency to clean up behind them.. scumbags

robmanic1

I once saw a ginger rabbit and no,hadn't been on the shrooms

blister pus

alien grey

cee

doggers......

:shock:

Colzer1

I used to work as a forester and we used to see all kinds of strange things going on in the woods.

Plenty of naturists and plenty of doggers

we clocked a car one night late on in the woods, so we killed the lights on the machines and engines and managed to stop behind them with the blissfully unaware we were there and then litt the place up with as we switched on all the flood lights on the machines. the boy jumped out the passenger side of the car, trousers round his ankles as he tried to run round and get back in the dirvers side with a bunch of foresters laughing their heads off

bomberesque

I once came over a rise in a forest to find a group of 30 Cyclocrossers ... all in matching kit (incl matching helmets and white shoe covers) in a tidy group at the bottom of the next drop. It was like uncovering a rats nest or a coven of some sort. Creepy.

The shoe covers scared me the most, for some deep seated reason I can't rationally explain.

One of the best things I've ever seen was a mummy moose and her calf just off the side of one of the trails in Mont St Anne this summer. I was so enchanted I forgot that I had a camera on me, so I cherish the memory instead. Mrs B (a Canuk) was really pissed off with me because she says it's dead rare to see mooses in the wild like that and she wanted pictures.

Great Ayton

There was a group of horse riders galloping up a fire track. They were side by side spread across the road and a few horses deep. At the sale time there was a few mountain bikers going down the fire track quite quickly. Rounding a blind bend the first rider was confronted with this wall of horses galloping at him. The horses had taken up the hole dirt road and with no where to go he ended up lowing in to the group of horse. He ended up getting trampled quite badly. A few of the horsed fell over and some threw there riders. Unfortunately one of the girl that was on a horse brake her neck when she landed.

allthegearnoidea

blimey! i think i really need to find a new woods to play in lol!
nothing half that interesting down here! occasionaly might stumble across some college/school kids that have snuck away for a smoke and thats about it!

did find somehting a little concerning when out yesterday though, on a seciton of xc trail right up in the tree line i found a long length of wire draped loosley over the ground! looked like it may have been rigged up as a clothesline type weapon! what got me was that the person that put it up must have taken the wire too and its a good mile walk from any of the parking area's so must have been spotted! still i suppose, overalls in a forest youcan get away with almost anythign!

many moons ago when i lived with mother for a few months, found a path on the edge of a forest on the outskirts of where she lived (rural devon), when riding along on my step dads Raleigh mustang a deer Lept across the track and up into the woods! i did promptly crash in amazement!

have nearly been caught out by a couple of farm hands on quad bikes though! was getting a little 'Fruitful' with a local girl when we were out for a ride inan old disused ramshackled barn, we just got our selves together and were about to ride off when these two Quads came flying around and across the front of the barn! did make me smile! a minute earlier and they would have seen all manor of things hahahha!

robmanic1

bomberesque wrote:

One of the best things I've ever seen was a mummy moose and her calf just off the side of one of the trails in Mont St Anne this summer. I was so enchanted I forgot that I had a camera on me, so I cherish the memory instead. Mrs B (a Canuk) was really pissed off with me because she says it's dead rare to see mooses in the wild like that and she wanted pictures.

Plenty of mooses (mice?) round our way!

I apologise profusely, but someone was bound to do it

Banned!

horrible as it sounds, a human corpse.

BobbyTrigger

nice..............

thebluefox

Jesus_Christ wrote:

horrible as it sounds, a human corpse.

Fuck, whats the story with that one?

xtreem

thebluefox wrote:

Jesus_Christ wrote:

horrible as it sounds, a human corpse.

fark, whats the story with that one?

He killed it.

The Northern Monkey

Xtreem wrote:

thebluefox wrote:

Jesus_Christ wrote:

horrible as it sounds, a human corpse.

fark, whats the story with that one?

He killed it.

then ate it :twisted:

Whytepeak

To be honest I think Jesus sees a lot more than just corpses, am I wrong.

Mancunianfightingcat

The car park we use for one of our local rides is a regular spot for in car entertainment if you know what I mean. This has resulted in our fair share of amusing sights, especially when we roar in to the car park in a white Transit like the police have and when we come back with bike lights ablaze.

Unfortunately the car park is often littered with used nodders, which is not so much fun!

explosifpete

One wednesday night I saw around 20 ghostly figures in tight clothing with light coming from there heads, they seamed to float across the ground and some were making a high pitched squeal

turbodog

saw a cracked helmet (in two pieces) last week. no body yet tho.

stevieboy

cee wrote:

doggers......

:shock:

ditto, rife around the sherwood forest area

Nothing funnier than coming across a car with a guy in the driving seat, arms up behind his head looking 'relaxed', shine your lights in and up she pops

Banned!

thebluefox wrote:

Jesus_Christ wrote:

horrible as it sounds, a human corpse.

fark, whats the story with that one?

out riding around clydebank, dead wino just off the path. he had been out all night and had died of exposure.

pilsburypie

My mate cack his pants. He wasn't very well and it was me who convinced him to come on a ride. Regarding another post on litter, he took his soiled under garment off and slung it in a ditch, before riding slowly home......

schmako

Some neds setting fire to our trails :x

mikeage

I bumped into Stan Collymore on a night ride up Cannock Chase once...I bleached my eyes when I got in that night :shock:

supersonic

A tank.