I have a dream

soy_sauce

I had a dream of doing what i love to do for a living before. but sometimes, mixing hobby and career together will just make you lost interest with your hobby at the end.... :?

Rich158

Children may be drag for a while, but that's offset with the joy of watching them grow up, turn into adults and finally leave the nest to forge their own way in the world

In 10 years time she'll be able to look at her house and say that's nice it's worth 10 times what I paid for it (maybe not in the current climate), I'll be able to hold my grandchildren, and look on my family with a warm glow knowing they're my legacy to the world. No amount of money can buy that.

Now there's a scary thought, grandchildren :shock: :shock: Where the hell did that creep up from.

lost_in_thought

Now then, I don't have kids, and am still at that stage of life where the idea of pregnancy is gross, but the above has got me thinking...

My mum had me when she was 31, and my dad was 47, and my brother arrived 18 months later. We didn't seem to stop them doing anything they wanted, and the 4 of us had some great adventures as a result. We just went with them everywhere, on boats, in planes, on bikes, to airshows, in backpacks... My mum likes to tell people how we spent many a night sleeping in drawers at their friends' houses when they were at parties.

Now I don't know whether it was just circumstances, but do children really restrict you that much?

greg66_tri_v2.0

lost_in_thought wrote:

Now I don't know whether it was just circumstances, but do children really restrict you that much?

Not IMO. Plenty of things seem insurmountable with small kids, but in reality, they are fine.

biondino

Money comes into it too, of course.

I have friends whose lives seem really limited by their kids, but then I have friends who seem to do almost all the fun things they did before despite having two tiny children. I hope to use them as a role model.

Having kids and being happy is about as far as my dreams go!

don_don

lost_in_thought wrote:

Now I don't know whether it was just circumstances, but do children really restrict you that much?

I think I am influenced by the fact that mine are still quite young (3 yrs + 6 months), so we are still busy with them and a bit tired!

However, you are right, there is no reason why you cannot get out and do lots with children, especially when your confidence in what they can manage increases.

The truth for me is that I was fairly selfish when I was single and a non-parent. I got used to being able to go climbing / biking etc all weekend, every weekend and take two snowboarding trips a year etc. My other half was into the same things so nothing changed when we got together.

I can still do those things but just not as often now! On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to teaching my two to cycle / snowboard when they are old enough

DonDaddyD

lost_in_thought wrote:

Now then, I don't have kids, and am still at that stage of life where the idea of pregnancy is gross, but the above has got me thinking...

My mum had me when she was 31, and my dad was 47, and my brother arrived 18 months later. We didn't seem to stop them doing anything they wanted, and the 4 of us had some great adventures as a result. We just went with them everywhere, on boats, in planes, on bikes, to airshows, in backpacks... My mum likes to tell people how we spent many a night sleeping in drawers at their friends' houses when they were at parties.

Now I don't know whether it was just circumstances, but do children really restrict you that much?

Reading this I get the impression that you and yours went on Indiana Jones type adventures where you found secret temples... and kingdoms... :oops:

Now I don't know whether it was just circumstances, but do children really restrict you that much?

Depends on the parents.

I really think it comes down to how a parent views their children and how they choose to spend their money.

Example:

A parent and I have the same bike. (Hypothetically) I want a new bike, he wants a new bike. I buy a new bike and he uses the money to buy his eldest a new bike. We get the same enjoyment riding from our respective bikes. I'd argue he would get the added or different enjoyment of sharing the experience with his children.

greg66_tri_v2.0

don_don wrote:

On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to teaching my two to cycle / snowboard when they are old enough

Classic, classic, classic error. Go to the back of the class, and put the pointy hat on.

I made this very same error. I thought teaching the kids to ride a bike would be a mutually rewarding and enjoyable experience, like you see in ad on the telly for life assurance or something.

Not so much. It's an exercise in frustration, tears, shouting, frustration, shouting, tears - have I mentioned frustration? I still vividly recall the poor old couple minding their own business on a park bench who had to witness me threatening to throw junior #1's bike into the skip if she didn't wheel it home, because I wasn't going to carry it. That was 5 minutes into one of her less successful "lessons".

And don't get me started on skiing. If you like bending over a lot, getting overheated, trying not to swear, frustration (getting a theme?), and shouting whilst wearing skis, it's great fun. Otherwise, Ski/Snowboard school is your friend.

Even now the kids can ski, they accept not a single word of advice from me (and I've even got a badge I can show them to prove I know what I'm talking about - it might as well say I AM 7 TODAY for all the use it is).

Best tip I had about skiing, which probably works for snowboarding, was from a former Olympian bumps skier. Just tell your kids to ski behind you. Let the primate/mimic genetic coding do its work. It's more fun all round.

lost_in_thought

Greg66 wrote:

Best tip I had about skiing, which probably works for snowboarding, was from a former Olympian bumps skier. Just tell your kids to ski behind you. Let the primate/mimic genetic coding do its work. It's more fun all round.

It works on a snowboard too. That's essentially what your kids will get if they get snowboard lessons. In switzerland, anyway, it's basic explanation, demonstration and then follow the instructor one at a time 'til you get it right.

There's often still a LOT of shouting involved. Some kids seem to be devoid of that mimic coding.

DonDaddyD

Greg66 wrote:

don_don wrote:

On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to teaching my two to cycle / snowboard when they are old enough

Classic, classic, classic error. Go to the back of the class, and put the pointy hat on.

I made this very same error. I thought teaching the kids to ride a bike would be a mutually rewarding and enjoyable experience, like you see in ad on the telly for life assurance or something.

Not so much. It's an exercise in frustration, tears, shouting, frustration, shouting, tears - have I mentioned frustration? I still vividly recall the poor old couple minding their own business on a park bench who had to witness me threatening to throw junior #1's bike into the skip if she didn't wheel it home, because I wasn't going to carry it. That was 5 minutes into one of her less successful "lessons".

And don't get me started on skiing. If you like bending over a lot, getting overheated, trying not to swear, frustration (getting a theme?), and shouting whilst wearing skis, it's great fun. Otherwise, Ski/Snowboard school is your friend.

Even now the kids can ski, they accept not a single word of advice from me (and I've even got a badge I can show them to prove I know what I'm talking about - it might as well say I AM 7 TODAY for all the use it is).

Best tip I had about skiing, which probably works for snowboarding, was from a former Olympian bumps skier. Just tell your kids to ski behind you. Let the primate/mimic genetic coding do its work. It's more fun all round.

A lesson in effective parenting. No really! Learnt behaviour. We are the products of our parents no matter how much, how little, how good or bad their method of parenting is.

Question, does bribery ever work? My brother is money motivated. Dad took him to football and said for every goal he gets £10. In goes 5 goals.... I did the same with bowling, he hated it and it was bribery or go home. I told him for every strike I'll give him £20. Soon after he got 3 strikes.... Needless to say McDonalds was on him.

DonDaddyD

Greg66 wrote:

don_don wrote:

On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to teaching my two to cycle / snowboard when they are old enough

Classic, classic, classic error. Go to the back of the class, and put the pointy hat on.

I made this very same error. I thought teaching the kids to ride a bike would be a mutually rewarding and enjoyable experience, like you see in ad on the telly for life assurance or something.

Not so much. It's an exercise in frustration, tears, shouting, frustration, shouting, tears - have I mentioned frustration? I still vividly recall the poor old couple minding their own business on a park bench who had to witness me threatening to throw junior #1's bike into the skip if she didn't wheel it home, because I wasn't going to carry it. That was 5 minutes into one of her less successful "lessons".

And don't get me started on skiing. If you like bending over a lot, getting overheated, trying not to swear, frustration (getting a theme?), and shouting whilst wearing skis, it's great fun. Otherwise, Ski/Snowboard school is your friend.

Even now the kids can ski, they accept not a single word of advice from me (and I've even got a badge I can show them to prove I know what I'm talking about - it might as well say I AM 7 TODAY for all the use it is).

Best tip I had about skiing, which probably works for snowboarding, was from a former Olympian bumps skier. Just tell your kids to ski behind you. Let the primate/mimic genetic coding do its work. It's more fun all round.

A lesson in effective parenting. No really! Learnt behaviour. We are the products of our parents no matter how much, how little, how good or bad their method of parenting is.

Question, does bribery ever work? My brother is money motivated. Dad took him to football and said for every goal he gets £10. In goes 5 goals.... I did the same with bowling, he hated it and it was bribery or go home. I told him for every strike I'll give him £20. Soon after he got 3 strikes.... Needless to say McDonalds was on him.

DonDaddyD

Greg66 wrote:

don_don wrote:

On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to teaching my two to cycle / snowboard when they are old enough

Classic, classic, classic error. Go to the back of the class, and put the pointy hat on.

I made this very same error. I thought teaching the kids to ride a bike would be a mutually rewarding and enjoyable experience, like you see in ad on the telly for life assurance or something.

Not so much. It's an exercise in frustration, tears, shouting, frustration, shouting, tears - have I mentioned frustration? I still vividly recall the poor old couple minding their own business on a park bench who had to witness me threatening to throw junior #1's bike into the skip if she didn't wheel it home, because I wasn't going to carry it. That was 5 minutes into one of her less successful "lessons".

And don't get me started on skiing. If you like bending over a lot, getting overheated, trying not to swear, frustration (getting a theme?), and shouting whilst wearing skis, it's great fun. Otherwise, Ski/Snowboard school is your friend.

Even now the kids can ski, they accept not a single word of advice from me (and I've even got a badge I can show them to prove I know what I'm talking about - it might as well say I AM 7 TODAY for all the use it is).

Best tip I had about skiing, which probably works for snowboarding, was from a former Olympian bumps skier. Just tell your kids to ski behind you. Let the primate/mimic genetic coding do its work. It's more fun all round.

A lesson in effective parenting. No really! Learnt behaviour. We are the products of our parents no matter how much, how little, how good or bad their method of parenting is.

Question, does bribery ever work? My brother is money motivated. Dad took him to football and said for every goal he gets £10. In goes 5 goals.... I did the same with bowling, he hated it and it was bribery or go home. I told him for every strike I'll give him £20. Soon after he got 3 strikes.... Needless to say McDonalds was on him.

lost_in_thought

DonDaddyD wrote:

A lesson in effective parenting. No really! Learnt behaviour. We are the products of our parents no matter how much, how little, how good or bad their method of parenting is.

Oooooh nature versus nurture... Indeed we are a product of our parents, but how much of that is 'learnt behaviour' and how much is innate programming which we've inherited or evolved?

It's a fun one to read about. Wikipedia is a good place to start, or buy 'The Nurture Assumption'.

greg66_tri_v2.0

DonDaddyD wrote:

Question, does bribery ever work? My brother is money motivated. Dad took him to football and said for every goal he gets £10. In goes 5 goals.... I did the same with bowling, he hated it and it was bribery or go home. I told him for every strike I'll give him £20. Soon after he got 3 strikes.... Needless to say McDonalds was on him.

Yes, but you have to be *very* careful how and when you use it.

Otherwise you'll find in your old age that your children are rent boys/hookers.

lost_in_thought wrote:

Oooooh nature versus nurture... Indeed we are a product of our parents, but how much of that is 'learnt behaviour' and how much is innate programming which we've inherited or evolved?

It's a fun one to read about. Wikipedia is a good place to start, or buy 'The Nurture Assumption'.

I rather approach it from a standpoint of innate traits vs learned skills. We have two girls. They have *completely* different personalities. And many of their traits were, in retrospect, consistent with their behaviour as babies.

But skills can certainly be learned by pretty much anyone. Except maths, obviously.

linsen

My children are absolutely entirely different from one another, in terms of outlook, interests, tastes, needs and everything else.
It's been fascinating to watch them develop

In terms of how restrictive they are?
Well, I would, without children, pack a bag on a saturday morning and possibly return home that night or the next night having either walked or ridden A LONG WAY, but for now I don't do that (well, not every weekend anyway)
Children have parties to attend, they walk at a snail's pace and ride at an average of 6mph. They would, on the whole, rather hang out with their friends these days.
Lots of the things we want to do are tempered or modified by the presence of children and their commitments, but I know this is only a phase.

But they also bring immense joy and satisfaction - they have both made me old and kept me young, and though they suck the very life blood from me at times, I wouldn't swap them for anything

cjcp

Greg66 wrote:

don_don wrote:

On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to teaching my two to cycle / snowboard when they are old enough

Classic, classic, classic error. Go to the back of the class, and put the pointy hat on.

I made this very same error. I thought teaching the kids to ride a bike would be a mutually rewarding and enjoyable experience, like you see in ad on the telly for life assurance or something.

Not so much. It's an exercise in frustration, tears, shouting, frustration, shouting, tears - have I mentioned frustration? I still vividly recall the poor old couple minding their own business on a park bench who had to witness me threatening to throw junior #1's bike into the skip if she didn't wheel it home, because I wasn't going to carry it. That was 5 minutes into one of her less successful "lessons".

Oh Lord. This is me with my eldest on the weekends in Richmond Park.

The other one is swimming.

linsen

Fantasising about my children wanting to do the same things as me so we can all do happy jolly things is one way I pass my time

Instead, "bike ride" has become a threat in our house (even when we offer coffee shop stops, etc).

This is because it doesn't involve a screen of any kind :roll:

This summer, weather permitting I am taking the children and a tent and the bikes far far far away from electricity

Rich158

Moutainbiking is the way to go, find somewhere that is an off-road centre with loads of different trails rather than just XC in the local woods. It looks cool, is a genuine extreme sport, and has a certain amount of kudos amongst their friends, especially when they get into their teenage years. That's how I got both of mine started. Now my older one has even expressed an interest in using my winter bike when my shiny new piece of carbon comes along.

ChrisLS

...back to I have dream...just one point though, don't assume your children will share your interests. My daughter lives in Cambridge and no way will she ride a bike, even when I gave her a bike for free...

...anyway my dream...I trained and qualified as a Bikeability instructor last year...I would really like to teach people to ride on the roads...I applied for, and got a post with the local council as a cycling instructor...however they have no funding...yesterday I applied for the same post with another authority and was told funding is so patchy that I would be unable to make a living...the person I spoke to had not even heard of Bikeability...so what I'm trying to say is; I have the dream but at the moment I am thwarted :? :x I haven't yet taught anyone

...there is always the option of setting up my own cycle training business...am I brave enough to walk away from my salary?

don_don

Greg66 wrote:

don_don wrote:

On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to teaching my two to cycle / snowboard when they are old enough

Classic, classic, classic error. Go to the back of the class, and put the pointy hat on.

Having been a trainer for nearly five years, I've learned not to expect too much from people, keep it simple to start with and vary the methods to keep interest up. I hope I'll be able to translate this to the children, as long as they are old enough to understand

Best tip I had about skiing, which probably works for snowboarding, was from a former Olympian bumps skier. Just tell your kids to ski behind you. Let the primate/mimic genetic coding do its work. It's more fun all round.

And that's the other thing I'll do, although I'll probably skip the double-blacks to start with...

DonDaddyD

linsen wrote:

My children are absolutely entirely different from one another, in terms of outlook, interests, tastes, needs and everything else.
It's been fascinating to watch them develop

Me and my Mum were discussing this in regards to the different parenting techniques used on me and my brother. My Mum said that things that work to motivate, discipline, engage with me don't work on my brother because we are different people. So they use different techniques to get the best out of us, bond with, raise and develop us into who we are today... I used said the same to my girfirend.

Oh Lord. This is me with my eldest on the weekends in Richmond Park.

Isn't this true of nearly every parent and the eldest - especially the closer in age they are?

That said, I'm expecting to have endless years of frustration bought about by my eldest and loving them for it.

I used to make it my point not to get on with my Dad..... In the end I grew up to admire him more than anything and not purposely practically having the same temprement, actions, mannerisms as him. Nearly everyone says I'm exactly like him... The irony.

Littigator

Thanks for the encouraging words to those that posted them. I'll be teaching in a school, helping maintain an orphanage, building water storage facilities, monitoring forest wildlife (monkeys) and marine wildlife (snorkelling with whales and dolphins...well there has to be some fun in the hard work).

I will also be organising an afternoon treasure hunt to raise funds for the organisation I am going with and the community I will be working with, details to follow, but all will be most welcome.

ps Jash...good luck with the job application.

lost_in_thought

Littigator wrote:

Thanks for the encouraging words to those that posted them. I'll be teaching in a school, helping maintain an orphanage, building water storage facilities, monitoring forest wildlife (monkeys) and marine wildlife (snorkelling with whales and dolphins...well there has to be some fun in the hard work).

I will also be organising an afternoon treasure hunt to raise funds for the organisation I am going with and the community I will be working with, details to follow, but all will be most welcome.

ps Jash...good luck with the job application.

Sounds great! I'd do the snorkelling, definitely...

lost_in_thought

Oh and I find swimming quite fun to teach... unlike snowboarding and cycling.

And to echo DDD, I'm not just like my mother, but admire her enormously.

If she had a dream, she'd just do it.

She's way braver than me. I'm slightly ashamed. :oops:

itboffin

I would be a very very rich man if I'd never had children.... instead i'm rich in a different but much poorer way, I wouldn't have it any other way. Although having two girls could potentially be expensive in later life :shock: