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Chris Hoy Facts

AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 79,678
edited January 2009 in The bottom bracket
Please add your own!

Manchester Velodrome was originally a 100 metre track. Every time Sir Chris Hoy does a standing start the track stretches by a metre. By 2012 it will be a 3km track.

CERN don't need a Large Hadron Collider, they just need to set Sir Chris Hoy and Jamie Staff off in opposie directions in a velodrome. This would result in a new particle being discovered, the "Brailsford Boson".

Sir Chris Hoy recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Sir Chris Hoy pyjamas.

When Sir Chris Hoy pedals, his bike does not move, the earth rotates.

During a powercut across the whole of Manchester in 2003, an engineer connected Sir Chris Hoy's turbo trainer to a turbine at the powerstation. The resulting power from his one hour training session was enough to light up the entire North West for seven weeks.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Sir Chris Hoy's warm-up exercises.

There are no steroids in match sprinting. Just cyclists Sir Chris Hoy has breathed on.

Sir Chris Hoy once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Sir Chris Hoy won by 5.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1SCHSS (Sir Chris Hoy Standing Start)

(Courtesy of edhornby) - Chris Hoy once got in touch with his feminine side
.... and instantly got it pregnant

Posts

  • finchyfinchy Posts: 6,686
    Chris Hoy is so fast he can lap himself.

    Due to friction, Chris Hoy's bike stretches by 2cm every time he rides.

    Nuclear weapons will now be measured in Hoys 10 megatons = 1 Hoy.

    Standing too close to the track when Hoy goes by can result in your innards being sucked out.

    Chris Hoy's training velodrome has its own weather system.

    Chris Hoy's gravitational pull is 2.3g.
  • iain_jiain_j Posts: 1,941
    Who's this Chris Hoy? Don't you mean Sir Chris Hoy?
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 79,678
    Sir Chris Hoy doesn't obey the Laws of Physics.

    Physics obeys the Laws of Sir Chris Hoy.
  • finchyfinchy Posts: 6,686
    iain_j wrote:
    Who's this Chris Hoy? Don't you mean Sir Chris Hoy?

    When is he going to be knighted? I don't think he's Sir yet.

    In future, all high speed trains are going to be towed by Chris Hoy clones.
  • Ken NightKen Night Posts: 2,005
    I read the title as Chris Hoy farts....and started to batten down the windows
    “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best..." Ernest Hemingway
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 79,678
    Is Mr Hoy the new Chuck Norris? :p
  • whyamiherewhyamihere Posts: 7,512
    No. Chuck Norris is merely the old Chris Hoy.
  • NuggsNuggs Posts: 1,804
    When Sir Chris Hoy jumps in a swimming pool, he doesn't get wet, the swimming pool gets Sir Chris Hoy.

    If Sir Chris Hoy and Chuck Norris ever stood within 10 meters of one another, the world would reboot to 2012.

    If you diss Sir Chris Hoy, he will chop you into a quabillion pieces. If you inform him there's no such number as a quabillion, he'll mash you up into a bajillion pieces.

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks under the bed for SCH.

    SCH does not sleep. He waits.

    SCH can slam a revolving door.

    In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Sir Chris Hoy.
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 79,678
    In a race between The Silver Surfer and The Flash, the winner would be Sir Chris Hoy.
  • Chris Hoy's gravitational pull is 2.3g.

    I think you'll find that 2.3g is the gravitational pull of one of Sir Chris Hoy's thighs - his total gravitational pull is much greater.
    FCN 10
  • Mike HealeyMike Healey Posts: 1,023
    In His more delusional moments, God thinks he's Chris Hoy
    Organising the Bradford Kids Saturday Bike Club at the Richard Dunn Sports Centre since 1998
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/eastbradfordcyclingclub/
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/eastbradfordcyclingclub/
  • gavintcgavintc Posts: 3,009
    johnfinch wrote:
    iain_j wrote:
    Who's this Chris Hoy? Don't you mean Sir Chris Hoy?

    When is he going to be knighted? I don't think he's Sir yet.

    In future, all high speed trains are going to be towed by Chris Hoy clones.

    Normally in Mar, but I believe that the convention is that you adopt the title after it has been published.
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 79,678
    He's been being referred to as Shir Chrish Hoy in the 6 days of Rotterdam at the moment...
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