Newbie - Just saying hello

I've been dipping in and out of the forum for the last month or so and decided today, having been inspired by the expolits of Old Git, to join and share some of my experiences with like minded individuals.
Little bit about me: I'm 46, new to this MTB lark, fat, unfit and ugly. Hoping that my new found hobby has the capacity to address at least a couple of these problems. I have only returned to riding within the last 4 months (after a lay off of about 30 years). I started off with an old no sus Saracen (which I thought was monumental, given the last bike I had was a Mark2 Raleigh Chopper), bought from my LBS (Roe Valley Cycles, Limavady, N Ireland). I have just traded this in and bought myself a Giant Rincon - which incidentally is monumental - for a newbie anyway.
Couple of things which have struck me about a number of posts - which were well and truly rubbished by Old Git's Tome's. Forget all this sh*te about: 'If you've been out of the saddle for any length of time, take it easy with a couple of 3-5 mile rides'. Wait until I tell you, if, like me, you are unfit to the extent that pulling on your cacks on first thing in the morning leaves you breathless, you're either genuinely unfit or they're your wife's undergarments . 3-5 miles for totally the unfit fat type is totally unrealistic. For anyone out there thinking about getting into the sport (over the age of 40, who has not exercised in 10/15 years) take it easy. Easy as ride to the bottom of the street and back. Try not to 'bite off more that you can chew', which will you exhausted and disillusioned.
Second thing, and you gotta laugh, another one I love is 'I've just got into mountain biking, I know nothing about bikes, but I've just bought myself an Iron Horse Mark 3 competition bike'. That just kills me. That's like saying I don't know much about fish and I couldn't make up my mind between Bernard Matthews Fish Fingers and John West Jellied Eels, so I went for the Beluga Caviar. Must be great to have obscene amounts of cash to spend on what, very possibly, is just a passing whim. Maybe I'm just (fat) and jealous.
Little bit about me: I'm 46, new to this MTB lark, fat, unfit and ugly. Hoping that my new found hobby has the capacity to address at least a couple of these problems. I have only returned to riding within the last 4 months (after a lay off of about 30 years). I started off with an old no sus Saracen (which I thought was monumental, given the last bike I had was a Mark2 Raleigh Chopper), bought from my LBS (Roe Valley Cycles, Limavady, N Ireland). I have just traded this in and bought myself a Giant Rincon - which incidentally is monumental - for a newbie anyway.
Couple of things which have struck me about a number of posts - which were well and truly rubbished by Old Git's Tome's. Forget all this sh*te about: 'If you've been out of the saddle for any length of time, take it easy with a couple of 3-5 mile rides'. Wait until I tell you, if, like me, you are unfit to the extent that pulling on your cacks on first thing in the morning leaves you breathless, you're either genuinely unfit or they're your wife's undergarments . 3-5 miles for totally the unfit fat type is totally unrealistic. For anyone out there thinking about getting into the sport (over the age of 40, who has not exercised in 10/15 years) take it easy. Easy as ride to the bottom of the street and back. Try not to 'bite off more that you can chew', which will you exhausted and disillusioned.
Second thing, and you gotta laugh, another one I love is 'I've just got into mountain biking, I know nothing about bikes, but I've just bought myself an Iron Horse Mark 3 competition bike'. That just kills me. That's like saying I don't know much about fish and I couldn't make up my mind between Bernard Matthews Fish Fingers and John West Jellied Eels, so I went for the Beluga Caviar. Must be great to have obscene amounts of cash to spend on what, very possibly, is just a passing whim. Maybe I'm just (fat) and jealous.
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Enjoy the ride !
2011 Giant Defy 4
I often go over the Glenshane Pass and wonder what the riding's like there.
I'm another old git, 48, and been an avid mountain biker for about 18 months now.
Started pretty gently on a £30 ebay purchased hardtail with rigid forks which was/is a great fun ride. About 3 months into my new sport I even rode that old hardtail on the Blue trail at Llandegla which really blew me away.
About a year ago I upgraded to a GT Agrressor XC3, although at around £250 it's probably not seen as much of an upgrade to most on this forum. But I love that GT and have now ridden it a few times in Wales at CYB & Llandegla - red trails at CYB & red & black at Llandegla.
But like you I'm frequently amazed by how much some people spend on their bikes.
Dodgyknees - Thanks for the welcome.