Dear Dorset Road Users
sazzledazzle
Posts: 31
Dear Dorset Road Users,
When I got back on a bike last year and decided to commute to work I was quite worried. After all it had been 10 years since I last rode and I figured my bike handling skills would be pretty shabby. After several months of your tireless work I have realised I needn't have worried.
My high speed avoidance skills have never been so good, weaving between paws whilst fending off Fido, Dido and Beelzebub as they attempt to remove yet another layer of skin from my ankles has seen to this. I can now even make helpful suggestions to their owners about the merits of leads whilst not running over their little furry fiends.
Then there is the tried and tested 'Avoid Death by Cartwheeling up the curb'. I am now a fully fledged expert at this manoeuvre, most recently experienced at the hands of a herse. Yes I know funeral homes suffer in the modern world with all these people taking medicine instead of dying - but do you really have to aim right at me and drive into the cycle lane in order to fill the empty coffin you lug around in the back just in case?
And that leads me to my favourite thing to practice on the road - emergency avoidance, I like to refer to this as 'Holy F'in Crap' or HFC moments. In fact I have been lucky enough to practice two HFC's so far this week. There just aren't enough ways I can think of to thank the careful drivers who pull out into a main road or onto a roundabout that I happen to be on. No matter how many lights, flashy wheel spokes or reflective clothing I wear I can only be grateful that I can now avoid your sideswipe by a whisker and still not hit the vehicle whizzing past me on my right whilst thanking you profusely with my much practised arm gestures. Sometimes I even like to verbalise my appreciation and catch you up at the next lights to let you know how much it meant to me
So fellow commuters, you have my sincere appreciation for your consideration and assistance in improving my biking skills - If I could buy you all a tub of Roses I would.
Yours sincerely,
Saz
When I got back on a bike last year and decided to commute to work I was quite worried. After all it had been 10 years since I last rode and I figured my bike handling skills would be pretty shabby. After several months of your tireless work I have realised I needn't have worried.
My high speed avoidance skills have never been so good, weaving between paws whilst fending off Fido, Dido and Beelzebub as they attempt to remove yet another layer of skin from my ankles has seen to this. I can now even make helpful suggestions to their owners about the merits of leads whilst not running over their little furry fiends.
Then there is the tried and tested 'Avoid Death by Cartwheeling up the curb'. I am now a fully fledged expert at this manoeuvre, most recently experienced at the hands of a herse. Yes I know funeral homes suffer in the modern world with all these people taking medicine instead of dying - but do you really have to aim right at me and drive into the cycle lane in order to fill the empty coffin you lug around in the back just in case?
And that leads me to my favourite thing to practice on the road - emergency avoidance, I like to refer to this as 'Holy F'in Crap' or HFC moments. In fact I have been lucky enough to practice two HFC's so far this week. There just aren't enough ways I can think of to thank the careful drivers who pull out into a main road or onto a roundabout that I happen to be on. No matter how many lights, flashy wheel spokes or reflective clothing I wear I can only be grateful that I can now avoid your sideswipe by a whisker and still not hit the vehicle whizzing past me on my right whilst thanking you profusely with my much practised arm gestures. Sometimes I even like to verbalise my appreciation and catch you up at the next lights to let you know how much it meant to me
So fellow commuters, you have my sincere appreciation for your consideration and assistance in improving my biking skills - If I could buy you all a tub of Roses I would.
Yours sincerely,
Saz
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all"
http://www.pinkbike.com/photo/1882561/
http://www.pinkbike.com/photo/1882561/
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Comments
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Good rant... 8/10
Excellent use of sarcasm... and i'm going to borrow your HFC acronym if that's ok?
I bet you feel slightly better?<insert witty comment here>
Also, I have calculated my FCN as 12...although I have no idea what that actually means.0 -
hondafanatic wrote:Good rant... 8/10
Excellent use of sarcasm... and i'm going to borrow your HFC acronym if that's ok?
I bet you feel slightly better?
HFC away!
I felt loads better after posting - it's very stress relieving!"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all"
http://www.pinkbike.com/photo/1882561/0 -
"If we all had hardtails we'd all go down the hill, just slower"
Nick Larsen
Voodoo D-Jab Ti
Boardman Road Team 09
Boardman Urban Team 08
Falcon 3 Speed0 -
Its posts like these that make my day!
I stole another member's taunt - "Codpiece" :roll:0
