Counterpropganda
chuckcork
Posts: 1,471
To quote Downfader in a recent thread: we could all write the most contrived rubbish and try and get it in print in a "respected" paper.
Only three rules (I would suggest, feel free to add any though)
1. I would suggest is make it as ridiculous as possible, and bring in if you can some bizzare but barely plausible scientific angle, like fish stocks are decreasing due to pollution from cyclists sweat getting into stormwater drains and affecting the Ph of the water. We don't expect the editor to check any facts of course or consider that arguments must be rational.
2. Avoid the usual fictions like cyclists don't have 3rd party insurance, don't pay non-existent taxes that they wouldn't be required to anyway (Road Tax, VED etc)
3. Be original if you at all can.
Heres some hopefully suggestions to get started:
Cyclists don't wash after cycling and make the office stink, I think they should be forced to shower first or just not be allowed to cycle in the first place.
All those drivers going round and round looking for parking spaces and causing congestion while they do are there because the cycle racks took up valuable parking space and drivers have to pay for parking so why shouldn't cyclists?
Cyclists cause holes in the ozone layer, all that lycra is produced using chemicals that destroy the atmosphere (insert alternative wacko justification for this)
I saw a cyclist stop for a red light and he caused an accident because noone expected him to stop. How selfish!
Rising cost of bicycles is increasing levels of poverty in the 3rd world where bicycles are the main form of transport. If children in Africa can't eat today its therefore a cyclist fault!
Cyclists eat more so rising food prices are their fault, if they ate less there would be more to go round so the supermarkets could drop their prices to allow battling families to eat properly.
I jumped out in front of a cyclist today and screamed abuse at him for no reason. He politely stopped and asked if I was OK, I mean the arrogance of cyclists is amazing.
A group of friends and I were walking 9 abreast across a shared cycle/pedestrian path and this cyclist went around us and one of the girls was startled by him doing so when a stick broke. I mean he could have apologised for being so inconsiderate, but he just rode off.
I ran into a cyclist yesterday with my car and knocked him off and while lying there screaming on the road with his arms at an odd angle he refused to give details of the insurance that I bet he doesn't have. I mean he could have shown some consideration, if he had run into me I would have shown the same consideration.
I was driving the wrong way down a one way street and this cyclist selfishly blocked my path and abused me, and I had to swerve to avoid him. He seemed to think he had the right to cycle the correct way down the street, the nerve!
Only three rules (I would suggest, feel free to add any though)
1. I would suggest is make it as ridiculous as possible, and bring in if you can some bizzare but barely plausible scientific angle, like fish stocks are decreasing due to pollution from cyclists sweat getting into stormwater drains and affecting the Ph of the water. We don't expect the editor to check any facts of course or consider that arguments must be rational.
2. Avoid the usual fictions like cyclists don't have 3rd party insurance, don't pay non-existent taxes that they wouldn't be required to anyway (Road Tax, VED etc)
3. Be original if you at all can.
Heres some hopefully suggestions to get started:
Cyclists don't wash after cycling and make the office stink, I think they should be forced to shower first or just not be allowed to cycle in the first place.
All those drivers going round and round looking for parking spaces and causing congestion while they do are there because the cycle racks took up valuable parking space and drivers have to pay for parking so why shouldn't cyclists?
Cyclists cause holes in the ozone layer, all that lycra is produced using chemicals that destroy the atmosphere (insert alternative wacko justification for this)
I saw a cyclist stop for a red light and he caused an accident because noone expected him to stop. How selfish!
Rising cost of bicycles is increasing levels of poverty in the 3rd world where bicycles are the main form of transport. If children in Africa can't eat today its therefore a cyclist fault!
Cyclists eat more so rising food prices are their fault, if they ate less there would be more to go round so the supermarkets could drop their prices to allow battling families to eat properly.
I jumped out in front of a cyclist today and screamed abuse at him for no reason. He politely stopped and asked if I was OK, I mean the arrogance of cyclists is amazing.
A group of friends and I were walking 9 abreast across a shared cycle/pedestrian path and this cyclist went around us and one of the girls was startled by him doing so when a stick broke. I mean he could have apologised for being so inconsiderate, but he just rode off.
I ran into a cyclist yesterday with my car and knocked him off and while lying there screaming on the road with his arms at an odd angle he refused to give details of the insurance that I bet he doesn't have. I mean he could have shown some consideration, if he had run into me I would have shown the same consideration.
I was driving the wrong way down a one way street and this cyclist selfishly blocked my path and abused me, and I had to swerve to avoid him. He seemed to think he had the right to cycle the correct way down the street, the nerve!
'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze....
0
Comments
-
I take it no one is interested.
I think we need a list of anti-cycling papers and mags to write to. My local Daily Echo has printed some real dribble in their letters section but they're pretty moderate, lol!
Can you write letters to Max Power? I have a really funny one lined up 
0 -
Working on it.This post contains traces of nuts.0
-
Isn't this all a bit counter-productive? You're just reinforcing the idiot ideas that people already have? I appreciate that it's nigh on impossible to get a pro-cycling letter printed but surely it's better that we all try doing that rather than waste time with the opposite?
- 2023 Vielo V+1
- 2022 Canyon Aeroad CFR
- 2020 Canyon Ultimate CF SLX
- Strava
- On the Strand
- Crown Stables
0 -
There are enough idiot letter writers out there without adding to it. A lot of people would just take them for real too.0
