Dear Jacqui Smith.....

johnnyhotdog

.....I would be more than happy to resolve this embarassing situation regarding Mr. Glitter. I will do it free of charge but will require a few things to ensure we can put this all behind us with the least amount of effort. This will allow us to move on and concentrate on the pleasant things in life, that the UK is known world over for, like excellence in football, world class chippies, wonderful summers and great comedy.

I will be more than happy to meet Mr. Glitter at the airport if you provide me with:

1.Return plane tickets to London via easyjet and accommodation at the Columbia hotel, for two, for three days.

2.One vauxhall Nova fully registerd and legal to drive on the motorway.

3.One GPS unit with battery and a map of England.

4.One full cricket set including bat and pads.

5.One Cuisne-art or other commercial food processor.

6.One set of commercial butchers knives.

7.Two 100 litre plastic rubish bins.

8.The charter of a fishing vessel in Cornwall for a day trip and one application form from a deckhand ( cv/ Mr. Glitter.)

9.Fishing tackle in good working order suitable for sea sport.

10.A P.O. Box number for thank you notes.


Yours Hopefully,

Johnnyhotdog.

downfader

You know, some would just do it for free. :shock:

chuckcork

[quote="johnnyhotdogThis will allow us to move on and concentrate on the pleasant things in life, that the UK is known world over for, like excellence in football, world class chippies, wonderful summers and great comedy.

.[/quote]

OK your kidding in that list, but why not add in something the UK is actually good at, like a nice pint of ale?