Fakengers

secretsam

Got cut up by one of these n0b-ends this morning, the usual - all the gear, new genesis single speedy with cut down flats, one brake but riding on a freewheel...what a total ar5ehole.

Who are these f :evil: ckin' prats? Do they think they look good? They stand out a mile...it's obvious to anyone who's ever seen a proper messenger that they are fake, because of the following:

1. Ride something obvious like a genesis flyer or spesh langster. And it's new (couriers tend to ride steelies)
2. Don't look ultra fit
3. All gear is new and unmarked
4. Don't have a radio
5. Can't ride for peanuts

I work in Clerkenwell, where there's hordes of the real thing, but also dozens of "like, design, yah?" prats who copy them.

Arrghhh fashum mashum rashum (snarling curses a la Muttley)...

PS: all you regular single speedies out there, this isn't a dig at you, calm down

lost_in_thought

Don't mind if they look like prats, it's only really if they ride like prats...

Don't get them out west too much, not even the couriers themselves.



The 'like design, yah?' thing would probably be brought down a level with a few sound scalpings.... mind you, they probably don't care. Might not want to sweat, or their clothes wouldn't match their bike any more...

:P

il_principe

SecretSam wrote:

Got cut up by one of these n0b-ends this morning, the usual - all the gear, new genesis single speedy with cut down flats, one brake but riding on a freewheel...what a total ar5ehole.

Who are these f :evil: ckin' prats? Do they think they look good? They stand out a mile...it's obvious to anyone who's ever seen a proper messenger that they are fake, because of the following:

1. Ride something obvious like a genesis flyer or spesh langster. And it's new (couriers tend to ride steelies)
2. Don't look ultra fit
3. All gear is new and unmarked
4. Don't have a radio
5. Can't ride for peanuts

I work in Clerkenwell, where there's hordes of the real thing, but also dozens of "like, design, yah?" prats who copy them.

Arrghhh fashum mashum rashum (snarling curses a la Muttley)...

PS: all you regular single speedies out there, this isn't a dig at you, calm down

N.B These are not fakengers, these are "hipsters" Fakengers have riding skills, hipsters buy their bikes from Brick Lane Bikes and can't ride for sh1t. Characterised by their lack of proper pedals/clothing and roadsense.

Hipsters:

secretsam

jashburnham wrote:

N.B These are not fakengers, these are "hipsters" Fakengers have riding skills, hipsters buy their bikes from Brick Lane Bikes and can't ride for sh1t. Characterised by their lack of proper pedals/clothing and roadsense.

Eh? This guy was the real-deal plastic courier, didn't look like that shower, though there's plenty of them round Clerkenwell, there's some design college here, it's like, internationally known and famous in design circles, yah?

karl j

ok, i give in, wtf is a fakenger ? (and i aren't the only dim one cos 4 people have voted for that now...)

attica

yee gads man, have you seen the angle of her brake levers.

She'd need to be a contortionist to stop on that thing.

Not sure if the other two actually have a gender though!

(said the man who's considering shaving his legs - still dithering folks)

karl j

oh what like in the picture ? they look like students to me

secretsam

Attica wrote:

yee gads man, have you seen the angle of her brake levers.

She'd need to be a contortionist to stop on that thing.

Not sure if the other two actually have a gender though!

(said the man who's considering shaving his legs - still dithering folks)

The one in grey is definitely...ugly

lost_in_thought

Awwww come on now boys, I'm sure it's just a phase. When they get real jobs they'll have to join the real world with the rest of us...

At least they're cycling... slowly in case they have to stop!

Coriander

SecretSam wrote:

new genesis single speedy with cut down flats, one brake but riding on a freewheel

Ok, time to 'fess up - I haven't got a clue what you're all talking about. I'm not even sure I know the difference between a fixie and a single-speed. :oops:

Does a single speed look like a 'normal' bike with that lilttle coggy thing (I don't do techincal very well) below the cassette at the back but only one option on his cassette? And does a fixie not have a coggy thing?

And what does 'riding on a freewheel' mean?

attica

OK SS means riding with only one gear - no extra cogs - just one front and back, means you have less to maintain amongst other things.

Fixed is the same but without the freewheel, ie you cannot stop pedalling while the back wheel is moving.

At first glance it's quite difficult to tell the difference between the two.

Flats = flat handlebars
Drops = drop bars (like they use in the tour de france for instance)
Fakenger = someone who emulates the style of a messenger but does it to look cool, all the gear no idea type of thing.

Hope this helps

il_principe

Fixed Gear: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fixed-gear_bicycle
Singlespeed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singlespeed

A Fakenger is someone who rides Fixed and looks like a messenger (ie courier bag, courier type clothing, very narrow bars/bullhorn bars etc).

i spose I'm prob classed as a Fakenger - ride a singlespeed roadbike, commute in 3/4 length shorts, use a courier bag etc. Guess we do it because it works! Courier bags are better then rucksacks, easier to access better capacity etc, the clothes can be worn around town (imagine wearing lycra in the pub :oops: ) and SS/Fixed bikes are cheap to run, easy to build up, require little maintenance etc etc. I'm a roadie at heart though and unlike the Hipster brigade actually have some roadsense. Oh an "why not just wear commuter gear?" I hear you cry, because it's universally sh1t isn't it, nasty altura dayfglo filth...

Coriander

I think so. Thank you.

But what does 'Riding on a freewheel' mean?

attica

Not having it fixed, ie you CAN stop pedalling whilst moving forwards

il_principe

http://www.movingtargetzine.com/article/fakenger

UnworthyPapaLazaru

jashburnham wrote:

Fixed Gear: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fixed-gear_bicycle
Singlespeed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singlespeed

A Fakenger is someone who rides Fixed and looks like a messenger (ie courier bag, courier type clothing, very narrow bars/bullhorn bars etc).

i spose I'm prob classed as a Fakenger - ride a singlespeed roadbike, commute in 3/4 length shorts, use a courier bag etc. Guess we do it because it works! Courier bags are better then rucksacks, easier to access better capacity etc, the clothes can be worn around town (imagine wearing lycra in the pub :oops: ) and SS/Fixed bikes are cheap to run, easy to build up, require little maintenance etc etc. I'm a roadie at heart though and unlike the Hipster brigade actually have some roadsense. Oh an "why not just wear commuter gear?" I hear you cry, because it's universally sh1t isn't it, nasty altura dayfglo filth...

I with this man.

I dont have SS or Fixed but I am cool as fuck. My bike is awesome.

secretsam

jashburnham wrote:

"why not just wear commuter gear?" I hear you cry, because it's universally sh1t isn't it, nasty altura dayfglo filth...

Jeez, I thought I had an anger management problem

I'm one up on the Altura day-glo clones, I look really hip in an XXL workman's hi-viz vest :oops:

Littigator

Coriander wrote:

SecretSam wrote:

new genesis single speedy with cut down flats, one brake but riding on a freewheel

Ok, time to 'fess up - I haven't got a clue what you're all talking about. I'm not even sure I know the difference between a fixie and a single-speed. :oops:

Does a single speed look like a 'normal' bike with that lilttle coggy thing (I don't do techincal very well) below the cassette at the back but only one option on his cassette? And does a fixie not have a coggy thing?

And what does 'riding on a freewheel' mean?

Now now lads stop playing with the noob, some of the replies to this perfectly legitimate query have been downright misleading, false links to wikipedia and all.

So Coriander in an attempt to give a definitive answer to your question.

Fixed Wheel/Fixed Hub - a wheel or hub which was abandoned a long long time ago by a callous and 'live for the minute' owner when it stopped performing to peak potential and was subsequently rescued by the Sprocket Savers Society, restored to full working condition (hence 'Fixed') and rehomed in a loving family environment with a basket by the fire.

Single Speed - a bike which (although it has many different speeds at which it can progress) chooses to remain at the one most comfortable for it depending on the time of day and the weather and also any significant astrological conditions in ascendance at the time it was made.

Freewheel - what the Salvation Army gives out to the homeless, because Hey! even the homeless have to get around somehow as well.

I hope that has cleared up any misunderstandings

el_presidente

I ride an old steel frame converted to fix (brakes front & rear though cos I am a wimp) wear baggies, courier bag, etc

GUILTY AS CHARGED


I do have normal drops though. But as jash says it's mainly because it all works

Coriander

Littigator wrote:

Coriander wrote:

SecretSam wrote:

new genesis single speedy with cut down flats, one brake but riding on a freewheel

Ok, time to 'fess up - I haven't got a clue what you're all talking about. I'm not even sure I know the difference between a fixie and a single-speed. :oops:

Does a single speed look like a 'normal' bike with that lilttle coggy thing (I don't do techincal very well) below the cassette at the back but only one option on his cassette? And does a fixie not have a coggy thing?

And what does 'riding on a freewheel' mean?

Now now lads stop playing with the noob, some of the replies to this perfectly legitimate query have been downright misleading, false links to wikipedia and all.

So Coriander in an attempt to give a definitive answer to your question.

Fixed Wheel/Fixed Hub - a wheel or hub which was abandoned a long long time ago by a callous and 'live for the minute' owner when it stopped performing to peak potential and was subsequently rescued by the Sprocket Savers Society, restored to full working condition (hence 'Fixed') and rehomed in a loving family environment with a basket by the fire.

Single Speed - a bike which (although it has many different speeds at which it can progress) chooses to remain at the one most comfortable for it depending on the time of day and the weather and also any significant astrological conditions in ascendance at the time it was made.

Freewheel - what the Salvation Army gives out to the homeless, because Hey! even the homeless have to get around somehow as well.

I hope that has cleared up any misunderstandings

Well, that's cleared that up.

Bodhbh

"Fourers" are the scourge round this way. Young lads on BMXs with butterfly bars and carradice panniers stuffed with newspaper - just to look cool. Gang of about 20 in fake beards always hanging on the corner, pretending to read maps and taking loudly about campsites in france.

secretsam

Coriander: apols, it's not big or clever not to define jargon

single speed = any bike with only one gear. Some are fixed (ie you cannot freewheel, therefore if you are moving, you must pedal, as the rear cog is directly linked to the back wheel). A freewheel effect allows you to stop pedalling but still move OK, eg round corners, etc. If you have a multiple geared bike, it will be fitted with a freewheel (only single speed bikes can be fixed).

The comment about the one brake refers to the fact that in the eyes of the law, a FIXED wheel (not single freewheel) can take the place of a regular brake. The twonk I saw was running one brake but could freewheel, therefore was not riding fixed. Ergo, he was braking the law.

Steelies are steel framed bikes. Like one of mine.

Think that covers it.

secretsam

Bodhbh wrote:

"Fourers" are the scourge round this way. Young lads on BMXs with butterfly bars and carradice panniers stuffed with newspaper - just to look cool. Gang of about 20 in fake beards always hanging on the corner, pretending to read maps and taking loudly about campsites in france.

Can't be real fourers, they aren't drinking real ale.

Littigator

ok now's it's my turn to be a noob...what's a fourer, other than the description above? Anyone got a picture?

el_presidente

Littigator wrote:

ok now's it's my turn to be a noob...what's a fourer, other than the description above? Anyone got a picture?

this looks pretty suspicious

I bet that's his back garden not the real jungle. & that is certainly an MTB not a tourer. If those huge panniers were filld with real kit he'd be dangerously unstable. AND WHERE'S THE BEARD? schoolboy error

Coriander

el_presidente wrote:

Littigator wrote:

ok now's it's my turn to be a noob...what's a fourer, other than the description above? Anyone got a picture?

this looks pretty suspicious

I bet that's his back garden not the real jungle. & that is certainly an MTB not a tourer. If those huge panniers were filld with real kit he'd be dangerously unstable. AND WHERE'S THE BEARD? schoolboy error

I think you'll find it's a woman. Which should answer at least one of your questions.

el_presidente

Coriander wrote:

I think you'll find it's a woman. Which should answer at least one of your questions.

Yes ... the panniers must be full of shoes

secretsam

el_presidente wrote:

Littigator wrote:

ok now's it's my turn to be a noob...what's a fourer, other than the description above? Anyone got a picture?

this looks pretty suspicious

I bet that's his back garden not the real jungle. & that is certainly an MTB not a tourer. If those huge panniers were filld with real kit he'd be dangerously unstable. AND WHERE'S THE BEARD? schoolboy error

Surely that's a laydee????

Littigator

So does the 'fourer' derive from the fact that teh rider has four panniers?

pst88

Seems like it's a very fine line between just riding singlespeed/fixed and being a fakenger. I may wear 3/4 length shorts or heaven forbid rolled up jeans... maybe I'm one of those fakengers that are in denial. I just dress this way and ride this bike because it's practical... that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Anyways, not voting because none of the options reflect my view.

Jon8a

Live and let live as long as they aren't a problem and act like prats.

I commute on a single speed but it's a 26" rigid inbred with DH riser bars, and a rack so hardly fakenger. I ride in baggies and a T shirt or mtb gear in winter because I'm not going to ride in in smart clothes and might as well wear clothes suited to the job that I already own.

I use a courrier bag because it stops my back getting as sweaty and is easier to access keys and passes etc.

If you live somewhere flat then singlespeed commuters make a lot of sense as they cost less to build and to maintain.