Wanna be commuter with a wife problem

Toblerone1

I know this is probably an utterly answerless post, but my wife won't let me have a bike in the flat, and as its a flat on the 6th floor, there is nowhere else to stick it, i know she'll also have a fit if she finds out i've spent a grand (of our money, not that i treat myself often) on a bike. Where they hell can one hide a bike? It's not going to fit under the bed. I'm trying to commute. I suppose i could stick it in the bike rack outside and hope that non of my neighbours steal the wheels? She might not guess its mine i could possibly hope, lol.

ride_whenever

Just explain how much you'll save on trains/taxis/cars, and how much fitter and more buff you'll be. Don't buy one without talking to her though, you're just setting yourself up for pain.

Greg T

That's a problem and no mistaking.

Have you already splashed out on the bike?

If you have and it's a non pre-approved bike purchase of >1K then you are a proper bloke. (and in the shit big time)

lost_in_thought

Under the bed - loosen off the headset and turn the handlebars so they're parallel with the frame... then your bike is effectively flat. But where to put the stuff from under the bed??

Maybe a wall rack on the outside wall of the block of flats? Dangerous though...

Foldies are much, much easier to hide!

Or buy a really serious lock and do the bike rack thing...

Aidanw

Get a brompton?

UnworthyPapaLazaru

Could be pricey, but I suggest a divorce.

Greg T

UnworthyPapaLazaru wrote:

Could be pricey, but I suggest a divorce.

Perfect logic.

I'd suggest a play station also.

You could get a wall hook and have your bike in the loving room - I've always wanted that.

DavidTQ

Toblerone1 wrote:

I know this is probably an utterly answerless post, but my wife won't let me have a bike in the flat, and as its a flat on the 6th floor, there is nowhere else to stick it, i know she'll also have a fit if she finds out i've spent a grand (of our money, not that i treat myself often) on a bike. Where they hell can one hide a bike? It's not going to fit under the bed. I'm trying to commute. I suppose i could stick it in the bike rack outside and hope that non of my neighbours steal the wheels? She might not guess its mine i could possibly hope, lol.

You seriously think you can hide something like that from your wife? Good Luck

Seriously coming home sweaty is gonna give things away, helmet marks on the head, taking a change of clothes? badgers stripe up the back on a wet day. Wouldnt she spot you out of a window or something riding the bike?

Maybe its just my wife is particularly nosey, but I swear I couldnt get away with a sneak purchase of a mars bar without her realising She generally knows the contents of my wallet better than I do :shock:

Even if it did fit under the bed would that really work? how would you get it in and out every day under her nose.

Have you got any friends in walking distance where you could stash it? Friends whos partners wouldnt grass you up. Then buy a real clunker of a bike ride to your friends and pick up your real ride. After a couple of months you can tell your wife as your ridings going so well you want a real bike...

I realise everyones relationships are different but to me this sounds like its likely to end in tears

robmanic1

Just buy the damn bike!!! What's the worst thing that could happen? We've all been there, be a man, stand proud astride your steed, look her square in the eye and say "I've blown all our savings on a bike so the sooner you come to terms with the fact, the sooner we can get on with our lives! Now, what's for tea?".

The laydees love all that, think it makes them feel safe, deep down. Still, what do I know I'm on my 5th divorce!

woodford2barbican

Why spend a grand? Scale back your ambition and make it slightly more reasonable.....!

cjcp

Robmanic1 wrote:

Just buy the damn bike!!!

In a nutshell. It's what I did. (But I did wait until she was out of the country and I told her over the 'phone. )

As Ride_Whenever says, I totted up how much I saved in commuting costs, that it would paid off in x months, would have something to show for the expenditure, that I would be fitter, wouldn't need to go to the gym in the evening, ergo would be able to spend more time with her (ok, maybe don't say that), and that, quite frankly, I was utterly sick of commuting on the tube, was fed up of inhaling the filthy, disgusting air, would be home quicker and was a great way of burning off the stress of the day. <feet stamping then finishes>

Unanswerable. Even for a woman.

iainment

cjcp wrote:

Robmanic1 wrote:

Just buy the damn bike!!!

In a nutshell. It's what I did. (But I did wait until she was out of the country and I told her over the 'phone. )

As Ride_Whenever says, I totted up how much I saved in commuting costs, that it would paid off in x months, would have something to show for the expenditure, that I would be fitter, wouldn't need to go to the gym in the evening, ergo would be able to spend more time with her (ok, maybe don't say that), and that, quite frankly, I was utterly sick of commuting on the tube, was fed up of inhaling the filthy, disgusting air, would be home quicker and was a great way of burning off the stress of the day. <feet stamping then finishes>

Unanswerable. Even for a woman.

Do you think? You're truly fecked mate.

victor ludorum

a friend of mine had been riding a bicycle behind his wife's back for a while. he said he knew he was in trouble when he started noticing other people's bikes in the street. then he saw this one in a branch of evans and just knew he had to have it. his wife found out of course. it wasn't pretty. she got the kids, the house, the car. he got the bike.

the thing to do is to gently work on your wife. try talking about your bike related fantasies. try to help her see that wanting to try cycling at this stage of your relationship isn't wrong or perverted, and doesn't mean that the relationship is failing. she will have questions and migivings 'what if, after a riding a bike, he discovers he doesn't want to commute in the 'normal' way any more?, 'what if the neighbours find out?', but by being patient, you should find that these issues answer themselves.

perhaps you could try looking through a couple of cycling magazines together, or watching a tour de france highlights video to see if that gets her in the mood.

the_hundredth_idiot

I've got a similar problem. On a whim and wishing to emulate my bikeradar forum heroes, I've put a bid on a fixie on eBay and I've got several more in my watch list.

I've just bought a new road bike (Condor Fratello) and I already have an old MTB. In my London-sized garden with not one but two mini THIs running around, this is a lot of potential for trapped fingers and me finding important brake fittings have been unscrewed while half-way down a steep hill.

And I know what Mrs THI will say when a new bike turns up.

Still, fingers crossed I win.

Greg T

victor ludorum wrote:

perhaps you could try looking through a couple of cycling magazines together, or watching a tour de france highlights video to see if that gets her in the mood.

Buy her some team kit and make her feel special - if it's starting to run for you some Dry Lube........

squired

Ask her if she prefers a man who is lean, fit and with great legs, or a man who is fat, unhealthy and has scrawny legs.

If she is like most other women she will have probably spent a grand this year on handbags, shoes and clothes, so I would recommend doing a rough calculation there before she starts moaning. Also, who earns more, or does she even work. If you are the major/sole wage earner you deserve to actually spend some money on yourself occasionally, especially when it is something that will benefit you (unlike clothes/handbags/etc).

God, I read the posts on here and I can see why I am happy to stay single....

Pirahna

Definately get a new wife.

A few years ago I didn't want to leave the motorbike I owned at the time outside over the winter. Wifey says to keep it in the dining room.

I've always kept bicycles indoors. Even now with a garage bike storage isn't an issue but best bikes are stored indoors, both mine and my wifes.

chuckcork

It could be worse, you could have taken up Golf.

Saw this a few weeks ago...

http://www.gocomics.com/wizardofid/2008/07/15/

Littigator

Right (deep breath) I'm going to be a bit serious for a while!

So Toblerone, is the real and only issue the money, as someone else said in this thread, why start with a 1K bike. My first bike 12 months ago was a £450 Specialized Allez which I still commute on now. A perfectly good ride (ahem)

Is your wife perhaps worried about something else...your safety on the roads? That you might (cough) spend impulsively (splutter) and then not use it to justify the cost. Let me make this clear I am not suggesting that men EVER do this, just that she might fear that you may do this...hmmm?!

Start with a cheapy secondhand off ebay, nice runner, few miles on the clock not too shiny won't attract too much attention in the rack. Work up to the posh steed.

If you don;' have the patience for this, then file for divorce, run out the door with the credit card/joint account cheque book straight to Condor, cover yourself in axel grease and shout as loud as possible..."Oh God I need a shiny Leggero with Campag Record all round right now...hand build me one you naughty naughty bike mechanic!"

puff pant wheeze...oh sorry, think I might have got a bit carried away there.

I think I'll just got for a little lie down

redvee

Are you a man or a mouse?

fizz

You wont be able to hide it. You wont be able to hide anything to do with cycling from her either.

I think you need to have a good chat with your other half and talk through what you want to do and why and then compromise maybe ? As said above maybe buy a cheaper bike ?

I wouldnt want to be leaving anything hafl decent outside in a bike rack, its going to get nicked if left overnight IMHO.

If you're taking money out of your joint account shes going to ask you where the £1000 went anyway so you'll be screwed on that account as well.

Mike Healey

You - "This isn't a bike, it's a work of art, which is why I'm hanging it from a special fitting on the wall"

Her - "Then why did I see you riding it up to the flats".

You - "I'm a performance artist".

karl j

How much does she spend on shoes in an average year ? if she's anything like my OH then it's considerably more than i do on bikes.

And while i am intrigued by the "get a divorce and a Playstation" reply (do let us know how it turns out if you go by that route), i think a folder is perhaps a more sensible option.

Mark Alexander

Robmanic1 wrote:

Just buy the damn bike!!! What's the worst thing that could happen? We've all been there, be a man, stand proud astride your steed, look her square in the eye and say "I've blown all our savings on a bike so the sooner you come to terms with the fact, the sooner we can get on with our lives! Now, what's for tea?".

The laydees love all that, think it makes them feel safe, deep down. Still, what do I know I'm on my 5th divorce!

well said but maybe £1k is a lot for a commuter in my opinion. unless that is if you're to use it for other riding too.

Wives are replacable, bikes last forever!

cycledad2

Tell her she can have a fat poorer dead husband/partner or a richer, fitter one (with tighter buttocks).

If she says she'd prefer you dead and poor then you have ammo. Try to secretly video it and then you can replay it during every argument.

il_principe

victor ludorum wrote:

a friend of mine had been riding a bicycle behind his wife's back for a while. he said he knew he was in trouble when he started noticing other people's bikes in the street. then he saw this one in a branch of evans and just knew he had to have it. his wife found out of course. it wasn't pretty. she got the kids, the house, the car. he got the bike.

Victory is sweet!

victor ludorum

jashburnham wrote:

victor ludorum wrote:

a friend of mine had been riding a bicycle behind his wife's back for a while. he said he knew he was in trouble when he started noticing other people's bikes in the street. then he saw this one in a branch of evans and just knew he had to have it. his wife found out of course. it wasn't pretty. she got the kids, the house, the car. he got the bike.

Victory is sweet!

yeah, but he had nowhere to keep it...

secretsam

Lying to her does no good

Honesty is the best policy. If it's a done deal...I'd have been a little more open. I actually asked for my bike, but hey - riding to work was her idea, clever Mrs Sam 8)

Have you had the "credit crunch mortgage going up gas and leccy prices cost of fuel christ where will we find the money" conversation? If so, then here's your solution: initial investment, nil running costs (ahem)...

But don't lie, cheat, deceive or deny...once you start doing that then you're finished as a couple, trust me...

il_principe

Mark Alexander wrote:

well said but maybe £1k is a lot for a commuter in my opinion. unless that is if you're to use it for other riding too.

Wives are replacable, bikes last forever!

Or tell her you want to spend £2k then haggle down to 1, that way she gets her (Pyrrhic) victory and you get your £1k bike.

Greg T

jashburnham wrote:

Or tell her you want to spend £2k then haggle down to 1, that way she gets her (Pyrrhic) victory and you get your £1k bike.

Hmmm Positional bargaining is very 1980's.....

What you need to do is create a win win scenario where you can both come out of the deal with something in the bag....

In my experience there's nothing burds like more than men who are bastards.

Offer to sleep with her sister if she'll let you keep the bike in the bedroom.

Win Win - see.

dirk_van_gently

ride_whenever wrote:

Just explain how much you'll save on trains/taxis/cars, and how much fitter and more buff you'll be.

Always use the financial approach with women, you can justify anything that way.
[rant mode on]Cos they are all selfish, mindless, money grabbing spendaholics !

:shock: Oh sorry forgot, that's just the Ex.
[Calm mode re-engaged]