Top Tips

spen666
spen666 Posts: 17,709
edited August 2008 in Campaign
Fellow CyclistsThe fact that there is a millimetre of space between myself and the vehicle in front does not mean it is an invite for you to dive in to that space to get onto the pavement to undertake the slow moving vehicle ahead


Motor Cyclists
When I am legally riding in the cycle lane and you are illegally sat in said lane behind me, your repated revving of the engine and sounding of the horn will not encourage me to get out of the lane I am legally in to let you use it illegally.

as the purpose of sounding a horn legally is only to warn other road users, when I hear a horn sound, I am likely to slow down until I can assess what that danger is. This may have the effect of slowing down your illegal progression along the cycle path


Pedestrians
Can you explain the recent phenomenon I see where you stand patiently at the pedestrian crossing whilst the red man is showing, you remain there when the green man is showing. However when the green man starts to flash you then walk across the road
Want to know the Spen666 behind the posts?
Then read MY BLOG @ http://www.pebennett.com

Twittering @spen_666

Comments

  • nasahapley
    nasahapley Posts: 717
    I'm disappointed - I thought this was going to be a thread about the Top Tips in Viz. Here's a few:

    MOTORISTS: recreate the feeling of an expensive gravel driveway by sellotaping rice crispies to your tyres.

    GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

    CYCLISTS: Avoid getting a sore behind by simply placing a naan bread over your saddle. This will comfort your ride and when you return home, hey presto! A warm snack.

    etc etc
  • downfader
    downfader Posts: 3,686
    nasahapley wrote:
    CYCLISTS: Avoid getting a sore behind by simply placing a naan bread over your saddle. This will comfort your ride and when you return home, hey presto! A warm snack.

    etc etc

    I remember that one! :lol:

    Spen666 I have to say I agree with you. Have you noticd pedestrians using cycle lanes to stand in whilst they contemplate the traffic they are about to cross through? I have also seen various mopeds riding up and down our cycle lnes around here.... one of these days I will catch one on camera :twisted: :wink:
  • spen666
    spen666 Posts: 17,709
    Female Cyclists Wearing Lycra Shorts
    Stop wearing underwear under those shorts, the VPL distracts from the view
    Want to know the Spen666 behind the posts?
    Then read MY BLOG @ http://www.pebennett.com

    Twittering @spen_666
  • robmanic1
    robmanic1 Posts: 2,150
    spen666 wrote:
    Female Cyclists Wearing Lycra Shorts
    Stop wearing underwear under those shorts, the VPL distracts from the view

    Stop wearing shorts over that underwear for a similar reason
    Pictures are better than words because some words are big and hard to understand.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/34335188@N07/3336802663/
  • grim168
    grim168 Posts: 482
    to make your car look like a taxi (at a distance) cellotape an old cornflakes box to the centre of the roof.
  • sicrow
    sicrow Posts: 791
    Never tie your shoe laces to revolving doors
  • downfader
    downfader Posts: 3,686
    sicrow wrote:
    Never tie your shoe laces to revolving doors

    ...personal experience? :lol:
  • Posh People - Make it look as if you use real butter by simply using margarine and tearing the bread instead.
    "A cyclist has nothing to lose but his chain"

    PTP Runner Up 2015
  • Stewie Griffin
    Stewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    Make people in aeroplanes think that you have a swimming pool by painting your lawn blue. Was always my favourite :lol: .
  • Nuggs
    Nuggs Posts: 1,804
    Motorists: make people think you have expensive air conditioning by driving around all summer in a ski jacket with the windows closed.

    Semi-detatched home owners: make your neighbours think you have twice as many stairs as them by banging your foot twice on every step.
  • Clever Pun
    Clever Pun Posts: 6,778
    Purveyor of sonic doom

    Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
    Fixed Pista- FCN 5
    Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
  • reutercrooks
    reutercrooks Posts: 425
    MUMS - Out of Christmas wrapping paper? Simply convert birthday wrapping paper by adding "Jesus" after "Happy Birthday."
  • nwallace
    nwallace Posts: 1,465
    grim168 wrote:
    to make your car look like a taxi (at a distance) cellotape an old cornflakes box to the centre of the roof.

    Nah easier than that, drive about at chucking out time, no need for a roof light. In fact no need for a 4/5 door bodyshell either. Any car is a taxi to some drunkards.
    Do Nellyphants count?

    Commuter: FCN 9
    Cheapo Roadie: FCN 5
    Off Road: FCN 11

    +1 when I don't get round to shaving for x days
  • Ambermile
    Ambermile Posts: 117
    downfader wrote:
    I have also seen various mopeds riding up and down our cycle lnes around here.... one of these days I will catch one on camera :twisted: :wink:

    I think that's actually legal you know... the definition of moped is still on the statute, but I suspect you do not mean *moped* at all?

    Arthur
    The Beastie


    Sic itur ad astra
  • Make a saving on the amount of toilet paper you use by using both sides!

    Can we fix it?
    Yes we can!
  • unclemalc
    unclemalc Posts: 563
    nasahapley wrote:
    I'm disappointed - I thought this was going to be a thread about the Top Tips in Viz. Here's a few:

    MOTORISTS: recreate the feeling of an expensive gravel driveway by sellotaping rice crispies to your tyres.

    GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

    CYCLISTS: Avoid getting a sore behind by simply placing a naan bread over your saddle. This will comfort your ride and when you return home, hey presto! A warm snack.

    etc etc

    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    Tasted brilliant after I'd bonked....
    Spring!
    Singlespeeds in town rule.
  • MONKS. Conduct a life of celibacy and emotional solitude without joining a monastery by simply living with my wife. It's more comfortable and you'll be able to watch TV and use the internet.

    BAHAHAHA
    "A cyclist has nothing to lose but his chain"

    PTP Runner Up 2015
  • unclemalc
    unclemalc Posts: 563
    Posh People - Make it look as if you use real butter by simply using margarine and tearing the bread instead.

    :lol::lol:
    excellent...
    Spring!
    Singlespeeds in town rule.