inside the minds of men

popette

leading on from Harry B's post on vicky p:

"Did anyone see Vicky on Inside Sport on BBC1 last night? I was tucked up in bed with wifey watching it. She asked me what I thought of Vicky. "Oh she's okay I suppose, never really taken much notice" was my reply It was a no win situation "

What else goes on in there that us girls don't know about?

CHRISNOIR

OK...

We genuinely dont know what 'the matter' is. Maybe we should, I admit, but very often we don't. Please tell us and we'll do everything we can to resolve it.

Thanks

sloboy

The more sophisticated male becomes aware of a deep schizophrenia that they just get used to living with.

It's my contention that every hetero man will evaluate every woman they meet and in the first few nanoseconds will have categorised them as "I would" or "I wouldn't"

With age comes the wisdom that this is a fundamental, emotional reaction over which we have no control. It doesn't affect our ability to have a full and rich, civilised relationship full of respect with the woman, however she's been categorised. But the reaction is there and there's no good denying it.

The fact is that woman-kind is the most gorgeous and beautiful item every created by the random gene-walk that is evolution and we have deep reaction to it.

Harry B

If you ask a question and suspect you won't like the answer why do you ask the question in the first place?

For example: "Do you like my new hair cut, go on be honest" :shock: When I say "no it's rubbish" wifey gets all moody :? We've been together for about 20 years (can't remember exactly how long :oops: ) and I still can't understand it :?

markos1963

After 20 years with the same women I still consider myself a beginner :? Why is it during the frist few years of marriage if I even blinked at another women it was a crack on the back of the head. Now all I get is "what do you think of her?"!!! Stil love her and all women kind though

robbie the roadie

As mentioned you have been 'categorised'.

Diets - you might be on one (depsite already looking great) but I'm not. I'm a finely honed cycling machine who does actually need some decent 'fuel' in him. This IS NOT us being unsuportive just rather hungry after a few hours thrashing round the country lanes.

McBain_v1

Got to agree with the diet thing.

Mrs McBain is trying one now and for some reason she feels it is incumbent upon me to also get involved in this. "Not a chance" says I, but am immediately castigated for an unhelpful attitude and then am lambasted at regular intervals for "flauting" food that she can't eat :!:

Again, why must I make all of the booking arrangements for trips etc. only to then be criticised about it later on? If you want to go somewhere, ring up and book it yourself, after all - you've access to my credit card account.

There are lots of little instances like those above, but I mustn't complain because Mrs McBain was instrumental in mini McBain and he's the best thing that has ever happened to me! On this me and Mrs McBain are in complete agreement

portuguese mike

sloboy wrote:

The more sophisticated male becomes aware of a deep schizophrenia that they just get used to living with.

It's my contention that every hetero man will evaluate every woman they meet and in the first few nanoseconds will have categorised them as "I would" or "I wouldn't"

With age comes the wisdom that this is a fundamental, emotional reaction over which we have no control. It doesn't affect our ability to have a full and rich, civilised relationship full of respect with the woman, however she's been categorised. But the reaction is there and there's no good denying it.

The fact is that woman-kind is the most gorgeous and beautiful item every created by the random gene-walk that is evolution and we have deep reaction to it.

Stop giving away trade secrets :oops:

SteveR_100Milers

sloboy wrote:

The more sophisticated male becomes aware of a deep schizophrenia that they just get used to living with.

It's my contention that every hetero man will evaluate every woman they meet and in the first few nanoseconds will have categorised them as "I would" or "I wouldn't"

With age comes the wisdom that this is a fundamental, emotional reaction over which we have no control. It doesn't affect our ability to have a full and rich, civilised relationship full of respect with the woman, however she's been categorised. But the reaction is there and there's no good denying it.

The fact is that woman-kind is the most gorgeous and beautiful item every created by the random gene-walk that is evolution and we have deep reaction to it.

Shhhh for goodness sake!!

If they REALLY knew we'd be ruined....

and there are some grey areas between would and wouldnt....and those criteria are sometimes inexplicable to each other let alone women!

ChrisLS

]What else goes on in there that us girls don't know about?



...you don't want to know...you wouldn't understand... you're only a woman... :?


...please try and explain cushions and soft furnishing and other girly things to us blokes...

FCE2007

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry - we meant the other one

Parkey

popette wrote:

What else goes on in there that us girls don't know about?

Don't go there.

We should all be locked up.

cee

Harry B wrote:

If you ask a question and suspect you won't like the answer why do you ask the question in the first place?

For example: "Do you like my new hair cut, go on be honest" :shock: When I say "no it's rubbish" wifey gets all moody :? We've been together for about 20 years (can't remember exactly how long :oops: ) and I still can't understand it :?

Do these jeans make my bum look big? Nope...its your fat arse that makes your bum look big.

hah if i really said that to the missus, i'd be for it!

someone said it earlier. if our answer to whats wrong is "eh!....nothing" then hats probably true. we have no idea. also, when buying slabs for the garden, I don't want to look at EVERy available type of stone, then choose one. Then look at EVERY combination of patterns and eventually look for a good price.

What i would rather do is say I want slabs that are kinda sandstoney, then look for a good price. Cutting out 6 weeks of internet research on fu**ing slabs!

pedylan

I think this is generally regarded as the definitive insight.

_________________________________________

Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to
change that

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
- Subtle hints do not work!
- Strong hints do not work!
- Obvious hints do not work!
- JUST SAY IT!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials

ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
- Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
- We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as:
- Sex,
- Sport, or
- Cars

You have enough clothes
You have too many shoes

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

____________________________

To which I'd only add, the definitive man to woman communication has to be, "Is there anything you want to talk about before the football season starts?"

Anonymous

Personally, and I speak here for myself, I don't "window shop," "put my finger in the cake," or consider my wife as a "competition object" in comparison to other women. I don't "play" in anyone else's yard. I have the funnest yard and best 'toys' I could ever dream of having. And believe me, we both 'climb the walls and swing from the rafters.'

When I married my lovely wife, all doors to 'backing out' were closed. We have a very equal relationship. 0% jealousy. None.

This is not to say that I cannot say, 'that's a nice dress she's wearing,' but to feel I need to drool mentally while acting as though I gave it not another thought isn't going to happen. I married because I wanted the best there is, and I got it. I feel my lovely wife feels the same. I am still a man, I still respond as a man does, and still do the things a man does, but as I take my vows very seriously, I consider my wife to be with me 24 hours a day, even though she is actually not. In my life, and I know in my lovely wife's life, there are no concessions to these vows.

Now, having said that, it relieves me of those awkward times when I find myself in situations where the obvious action for a single man would be to 'graze,' I find no pressure or need to 'be good.' I just don't think that way anymore. Having this confidence allows me to have more women friends who know I won't come on to them, as well as much better and cerebral conversations. I love women, but my wife gets all of my mind. Women are God's second coolest creation, and I will always respect that.

Not all men think this way, and I stated my position at the start of this contribution. I speak for myself. Honestly, I find not having the instinct to sniff, look or taste very liberating. It also allows better concentration on the trail.

As would be expected, I am sometimes asked if I'm gay. Nah. As expected, women see me as weird often. So be it. It doesn't slow me down on the trail, or walking down the sidewalk.

Thanks for asking, Popette.

If you are single, this ain't about you. If you are married, this ain't about you. This is about me.

P.S. Unlike a lot of guys I know, a pill is not always the solution, 'visit your girlfriend' is not advice, and a wrench can fix a marriage is not truth.

dennisn

Harry B wrote:

If you ask a question and suspect you won't like the answer why do you ask the question in the first place?

For example: "Do you like my new hair cut, go on be honest" :shock: When I say "no it's rubbish" wifey gets all moody :? We've been together for about 20 years (can't remember exactly how long :oops: ) and I still can't understand it :?

Come on now Harry. You should know the rules by now. There can be NO negative
answers, NONE. "Do I look fat in this dress"??? No, you look great(not fine or good, but
great). On a more bike related topic, the only reason you could possibly need new "stuff"
is safety, and even that's pushing it. Questions like "What's wrong with the bike you
have" need to be answered with great care and finesse. Women are a strange breed
to be sure.

Dennis Noward

Anonymous

I get it very well. Respect. Bottom line.

Never be first in any line.

Harry B

dennisn wrote:

Harry B wrote:

If you ask a question and suspect you won't like the answer why do you ask the question in the first place?

For example: "Do you like my new hair cut, go on be honest" :shock: When I say "no it's rubbish" wifey gets all moody :? We've been together for about 20 years (can't remember exactly how long :oops: ) and I still can't understand it :?

Come on now Harry. You should know the rules by now. There can be NO negative
answers, NONE. "Do I look fat in this dress"??? No, you look great(not fine or good, but
great). On a more bike related topic, the only reason you could possibly need new "stuff"
is safety, and even that's pushing it. Questions like "What's wrong with the bike you
have" need to be answered with great care and finesse. Women are a strange breed
to be sure.

Dennis Noward

Naturally I've tried the positive answers but these always seem to lead to a suplimentary question. For example:

Wifey: Do I look alright in this new dress?
Harry: Darling you look an absolute delight
Wifey: No seriously I want to know how I look!
Harry: You look bloody awful, I nearly threw up when you came threw the door!

Wifey then storms off in a huff and that's the end of that evening out :?

I don't know where I'm going wrong, any tips Popette?

Clever Pun

I'd like to highlight shopping as a major difference..

Punette will browse for ages (even in a fricking supermarket) and generally spend a long time shopping when I'll manage the same thing in a fraction of the time. It's clear she enjoys shopping and I think of it as a perfunctionary process that needs to be gone to get stuff

I've come to the conclusion if we go shopping together, I'm done within 5 minutes and will meet her at the pub/bar when she's done, where I'll have had a lovely relaxing afternoon with a selection of beverages and a paper. she'll then sit with me give me the low down on what she's bought and we'll go home happy

if we shop together and I have to stand around like an uncomfortable lemon while she's trying stuff on and I'm trying not to look at any girls at all in any state of undress, I start to get figity and frankly bored of holding bags and saying yes that's very nice as well... you like both? get both... oh which one ummm that one, err well ok whichever one you want then :? I start to get agitiated and make annoying little quips and it'll start to annoy her... we both go home grumpy and I've got some work to do to get things ok again.

shop separate and be happy unless you like being used as a coat stand


As to the direct question... lots of things go on in my mind that would get me into a lot of trouble I don't doubt.

dennisn

Clever Pun wrote:

I'd like to highlight shopping as a major difference..

Punette will browse for ages (even in a fricking supermarket) and generally spend a long time shopping when I'll manage the same thing in a fraction of the time. It's clear she enjoys shopping and I think of it as a perfunctionary process that needs to be gone to get stuff

I've come to the conclusion if we go shopping together, I'm done within 5 minutes and will meet her at the pub/bar when she's done, where I'll have had a lovely relaxing afternoon with a selection of beverages and a paper. she'll then sit with me give me the low down on what she's bought and we'll go home happy

if we shop together and I have to stand around like an uncomfortable lemon while she's trying stuff on and I'm trying not to look at any girls at all in any state of undress, I start to get figity and frankly bored of holding bags and saying yes that's very nice as well... you like both? get both... oh which one ummm that one, err well ok whichever one you want then :? I start to get agitiated and make annoying little quips and it'll start to annoy her... we both go home grumpy and I've got some work to do to get things ok again.

shop separate and be happy unless you like being used as a coat stand


As to the direct question... lots of things go on in my mind that would get me into a lot of trouble I don't doubt.

Oh yea, shopping with the wife - been there, done that.

Dennis Noward

meagain

"Women are a strange breed to be sure."

Sure that if I said that rather than "PEOPLE are a...." then I'd get well and truly beaten up (figuratively speaking) by herself and the daughter. I've always got on better with females than males and, in general, prefer female company. Perhaps I'm gay? Too late to bother finding out!

I'm not all that keen on shopping with herself - we just don't do it the same way - but I love it with the daughter. We see something we want - and we BUY it (or the nearest approximation if the ideal is too expensive). No one ever SOLD us anything.

Perhaps the fact that I do fancy nearly all women under about 12 stone should be kept inside my mind....but I rather suspect that it is pretty obvious!

SteveR_100Milers

bikers46 wrote:

Personally, and I speak here for myself, I don't "window shop," "put my finger in the cake," or consider my wife as a "competition object" in comparison to other women. I don't "play" in anyone else's yard. I have the funnest yard and best 'toys' I could ever dream of having. And believe me, we both 'climb the walls and swing from the rafters.'

When I married my lovely wife, all doors to 'backing out' were closed. We have a very equal relationship. 0% jealousy. None.

This is not to say that I cannot say, 'that's a nice dress she's wearing,' but to feel I need to drool mentally while acting as though I gave it not another thought isn't going to happen. I married because I wanted the best there is, and I got it. I feel my lovely wife feels the same. I am still a man, I still respond as a man does, and still do the things a man does, but as I take my vows very seriously, I consider my wife to be with me 24 hours a day, even though she is actually not. In my life, and I know in my lovely wife's life, there are no concessions to these vows.

Now, having said that, it relieves me of those awkward times when I find myself in situations where the obvious action for a single man would be to 'graze,' I find no pressure or need to 'be good.' I just don't think that way anymore. Having this confidence allows me to have more women friends who know I won't come on to them, as well as much better and cerebral conversations. I love women, but my wife gets all of my mind. Women are God's second coolest creation, and I will always respect that.

Not all men think this way, and I stated my position at the start of this contribution. I speak for myself. Honestly, I find not having the instinct to sniff, look or taste very liberating. It also allows better concentration on the trail.

As would be expected, I am sometimes asked if I'm gay. Nah. As expected, women see me as weird often. So be it. It doesn't slow me down on the trail, or walking down the sidewalk.

Thanks for asking, Popette.

If you are single, this ain't about you. If you are married, this ain't about you. This is about me.

P.S. Unlike a lot of guys I know, a pill is not always the solution, 'visit your girlfriend' is not advice, and a wrench can fix a marriage is not truth.

No one is sugggesting that the majority of men married or single actually act upon their inner thoughts and desires, the point is if we all did then the world might be a very scary place. The fact that you find a woman attractive does not mean at all that you are going to hit on her, after all as adults we should have developed a good sende of self control.

But if you are saying you never privately have lairy thoughts about other women then I simply don't believe you!

Totalnewbie

Me and the bloke were watching Inside Sport last night (I wanted to see the Vicky Pendleton bit more than he did, he barely knows who she is as I'm more into cycling)

I didn't ask him what he thought of her as it didn't occur to me to, but he did say he thought I looked like her!

I don't really IMO, it was just the shots of her talking off the bike where she was wearing specs like mine, and the fact that we're both pale/dark haired etc.. And I definitely don't have her thighs. Or her arms for that matter (weedy slim things on my part).

Anonymous

SteveR_100Milers wrote:

But if you are saying you never privately have lairy thoughts about other women then I simply don't believe you!

'Doesn't matter if you believe me or not, it's the way it is. I have what I need, don't need to 'fantasize' about others. And she's the same about me. I just don't need to. None look as good to me as my lovely wife, because I know what she's about. SHE...IS....SMOKIN. Sorry you didn't get what satisfies you.

Sorry to say, pal, you are wrong.

Speak strictly for yourself.

None light my face up like her, and I have been around a few blocks, obviously you are still on the road.

Anonymous

SteveR_100Milers wrote:

The fact that you find a woman attractive.....

I missed this. I DON'T find others attractive. Why would I have married if I was still finding others attractive? That's just stupid, stupid, stupid. Did I say stupid?

If you are married, your wife got less than she expected. Deal with it.

I am soooooooo good with what I have.

Harry B

bikers46 wrote:

SteveR_100Milers wrote:

The fact that you find a woman attractive.....

I missed this. I DON'T find others attractive. Why would I have married if I was still finding others attractive? That's just stupid, stupid, stupid. Did I say stupid?

If you are married, your wife got less than she expected. Deal with it.

I am soooooooo good with what I have.

So once you're married no other women is attractive :? That's just complete nonsense. Of course other women are attractive, just as no doubt other men are attractive. But as has already been said it doesn't mean you have to hit on them. I come across dozens of attractive women every day. I still love my misses though

daniel_b

Harry B wrote:

I come across dozens of attractive women every day. I still love my misses though

Phanaar, Phanaaar!

But does she know what you get up to Harry?!

popette

tut tut Harry!!

I agree with you and Steve - you can love your partner and still appreciate that there are attractive people out there. It doesn't mean you want to do anything about it. George Clooney is ok - I look at him and think that he's a fine figure of a man. If he asked me out I would run a mile. I would say, "sorry George, not interested, happily married with 4 kids" (actually, this line usually causes blokes to run a mile 8) - cool!)

Clever Pun

Hang on Popette.. Fantasy shags? that's a different set of rules isn't it?

SteveR_100Milers

bikers46 wrote:

SteveR_100Milers wrote:

The fact that you find a woman attractive.....

I missed this. I DON'T find others attractive. Why would I have married if I was still finding others attractive? That's just stupid, stupid, stupid. Did I say stupid?

If you are married, your wife got less than she expected. Deal with it.

I am soooooooo good with what I have.

My tongue was in my cheek, sorry I just noticed from your location that irony isnt in your dictionary. My wife and myself are extremely happy and adore each other etc etc but that deosn't mean I don't notice whether other women are attractive or otherwise. Good for you that you feel that way, but read the words and the meaning before mouthing off.
<irony OFF> you're a bit of a (other planet??) plonker aren't you really <ON>
Did you understand that bit?

Harry B

SteveR_100Milers wrote:

My tongue was in my cheek, sorry I just noticed from your location that irony isnt in your dictionary. My wife and myself are extremely happy and adore each other etc etc but that deosn't mean I don't notice whether other women are attractive or otherwise. Good for you that you feel that way, but read the words and the meaning before mouthing off.
<irony OFF> you're a bit of a (other planet??) plonker aren't you really <ON>
Did you understand that bit?

Your gonna get a really weird reply to this, just you see :?