what should we do to bike thieves

stubs

I'm crying into me laptop keyboard as I type this I have had me old steel British Eagle stolen it was only my commuter iron but I f**cking loved that bike went to pizza place for me tea on way home from work locked bike to a railing while I went to cash machine come back to find abus cable lock in 2 pieces and a big hole in my life I had that bike for 15 years I am now having weird sick fantasies about bike thieves a black and decker drill and a blow torch :evil:

ddraver

i reckon we should invoke that justice zone thing from Red dwarf where we take an equal amount of their posessions in therms of sentimentqal value so they can try to understand what c**ts they are and how they are a drain on society and no one would care overly if they were to quietly die somewhere...

sorry - got abit over enthusiastic there

stubs

Oh I dont want them to die quietly that would be terrible I wouldnt settle for anything less than dying in screaming agony

Bl**dy hell I didnt realise how much that bike meant to me it's stuck by me through 2 divorces it was my best friend

wordnumb

Sorry to hear of your loss.

The subject of retribution has been on my mind since my classic stumpy was vandalised on easter sunday. Kneecapping seems a relevant punishment; I wouldn't want to put these cowardly thugs out of their miserable lives, just cause injury that will affect them for the rest of their years and make riding a bike impossible.

stumpyjon

I think the punishment should involve discs, spokes and any soft parts of the body that can be entangled in said bike bits :twisted: .

Anonymous

with the little i know about the british legal system, the punishment would probably be to give them all a nice shiny new bike each and a trip to wales to ride it.

god bless england

drewcole81

Sorry to hear of your loss... This kind of thing really annoys me.

Cheese wire and thumb screws spring to mind, but still I don't feel that would be fitting. Stealing another persons bike should be punnished by taking there arms and legs off, slowly. Then setting then to sale in a small boat so they can bob around for there last few days whilst they think about what they have done....... :twisted:

Matteeboy

I've chased thieves away from nicking a bike (a strangers bike) and I think they clocked my rage and ran away very fast!

To be honest, if I caught one, I'd get locked up so probably best not to.

What sort of British Eagle was it?

My 1994 is STILL going despite years of neglect!

KonaMike

What should we do to bike theives??

Catching the buggers would be a start !

Thewaylander

if male, Unich style from roman era.....

two rocks banged together!

ride_whenever

I think gladiatorial combat, following on from the roman idea, have some sort of barbaric sport that they are forced to play to entertain the masses.

BlackSpur

Put them in a Saw-style death trap, only if they get out you shoot them in the guts anyway.

Papa Smurf

Had mine nicked couple of weeks back but luckily I caught the thief...

Given the choice I would break a few things, starting with the fingers, then to toes, definately a few (all) teeth :twisted:
I'm sure I wouldn't stop there...

jmeadows

feed them to lions :twisted:

norco forever

chain them up then chop a single finger, or toe off each day then rub salt in said wounds before removing knee caps with seat/seatpost i hate the thieving cnuts, get to send a couple down for bike theft next month after seeing them steal my mates bike (which he has back) :twisted:

stubs

Matteeboy good to hear youve still got your british eagle cant remember exactly what model mine was it was bought 1992 or 1993 and it was made from reynolds tubing cant remember what type of reynolds the stickers were taken off when it had a respray about 10 years ago it was originally painted in blue metal flake and it had sram grip shifters the first ones I ever saw cant remember exactly how much it cost about £ 350 to £ 400 and it was the lightest mtb of the group that I used to ride with it was the dogs nuts at the time

keith

Stab them in the lungs with spokes and then just watch them try and breathe.

drewcole81

keith wrote:

Stab them in the lungs with spokes and then just watch them try and breathe.

Your an evil man Keith..... But I like it!

JWYATT-18

I Would take a claw hammer and smash thier hands in so they cant steel anything or pretty much do nothing , and then get a red hot brand and brand thier forhead with the word Cu*t that will show their gay friends to try it again

z000m

most bike thiefs are opertunists, if you cant look after your bike let someone do it

stubs

well the scumbags who nicked my bike must have been walking about with a pair of bolt cutters they cut an abus lock that to be honest was worth more than the bike

Bromski

Reading this thread with interest.

Isn't it interesting that the thought of bike theives immediately makes us want to commit criminal acts ourselves (ie cruel and unusual tortures)

I think this is part of the reason that our criminal justice system may end up with less than fitting punishments - the people cry for chopping their hands off/stabbing them in the lungs with spokes etc which has been outlawed for years.

Without any other better ideas those involved in the punishment of crime come up with things like sending them on holiday to do a "course" etc.

If we could think of punishments that, frankly, don't break the law themselves, but would really deter theives, then we would be on a winner.

Sorry to get all serious and thoughtful... :oops:

ride_whenever

Breaking them on the wheel?

the issue is this, a lot of these bike thieves don't care about the pain they cause others, in the current penal system there is no effective deterrent, as evidenced by a swamped police force and overcrowded prisons.

Maybe indentured servitude would be a suitable punishment, using the prison population to build roads or for scientific experiment. You could learn a lot from a person if you're lacking ethics...

z000m

this guy made a vid on how easy it is to steal a bike and how joe public gives advice and tips to help.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7zb8YXrmIA

fumps

I seriously think they should be Superglued to a Apollo for the rest of their lives.
It sounds soft but it's a creaper.....think about it they will have trouble finding trousers to fit , night clubbing will be a reet mare. especially when the slow dancing starts.

There whole social calandar will be wiped clean !!!!!!

So there you go .....thats what i think anyway ....either that or chineese burned until they die.......which is nastier than you think.

norco forever

we should steal there 'cool' modified cars and burn them and make them watch :twisted:

ride_whenever

i think just crushing them would be more soul destroying, because burning things are cool (spot the chemist...)

Papa Smurf

norco forever wrote:

we should steal there 'cool' modified cars and burn them and make them watch :twisted:

Sorry did you just say 'Cool'?

COOL?! Chav cars aren't cool, which is the sole reason we should all carry small rockets or granades, for when the 'opportunity arises'

norco forever

thats why the 'cool' is in inverted commas i was trying to be clever/sarcy but failing lol, or we could melt their bling in front of them or just burn their tracksuits :twisted: or just burn them :twisted: