Bike Rage

always_tyred

Okay, there's a lot of pontificating on this site about road craft and how to deal with drivers and what not to do, blah.

I think that we are all, from time to time, entitled to vent the spleen.

We know we shouldn't, we know that the driver might get out and kick the sh1t out of us. We know that they might try to run us over afterwards. We know it doesn't really do any good.

But it occasionally makes us feel better. So, how about a collection of anecdotes?

always_tyred

So I'm talking about those times where you come out with a loud one liner that really sounds good or you get your own back in a small but satisfying way.

For example, and a small example because I wouldn't want to waste my best stories... the time where I got cut up twice in a hundred yards by a motorist who then parks right over the bike box. So I pull in front of him and when the lights change I just take my sweet time. I get a petulant blow of the horn and, on a busy shopping street, shout "Hey, that picture you are parked over is of a bike, not a fat ignorant ba3tard".

Petty huh? Felt pretty good though.

Another - I'm cycling on a winding, undulating road. A converable Merc comes up waay too fast, waits about a femtosecond, peeps his horn, revs a bit then overtakes dangerously. As luck would have it, this was just at a sharp downhill. At the bottom, I'd caught him up and he had no idea, so I shouted, at full lung, "HOOOONK" and I swear I saw his wig jump.

Really childish, just so childish.

Please tell me its not just me. Are there more, and better, stories out there?

redvee

Done the overwaiting at lights to the chorus of horns and riden off just as the lights change

always_tyred

redvee wrote:

Done the overwaiting at lights to the chorus of horns and riden off just as the lights change

Yes! We got one!!!

Best done whilst feigning fumbling with your pedals or gears, right?

grayo59

redvee wrote:

Done the overwaiting at lights to the chorus of horns and riden off just as the lights change

Oh, sweet!

dialforclown

I've shouted once (well more than once) at a lady who crossed in front of without looking, she visibly jumped at my shout, and it wasn't even in a convertible.

Harry Hill

Riding along with a tailwind when a woman pulled out of petrol station in front of me and then failed to accelerate. Had to brake hard, which I always HATE, to avoid hitting her. Lights half a mile ahead were red and there was a long tailback, so very quickly caught up with her :-)

Pulled up next to her, passenger side, leaned down to look through the closed window and shouted "Are you f**king blind?". Bearing in mind I'm quite tall when sitting on a bike and I had relective glasses and a helmet on, I probably looked quite scary. She stares straight ahead, the blood drained from her face. Then I said more reasonably "Do you think you could be a bit more careful next time?" and, still staring ahead, she nodded vigarously. I rode off and that was that.

Do I feel good about scaring a woman on her own in a car? Absolutely not.
If it means she's more careful next time and maybe someone gets out of a trip to hospital then was it worth it? Absolutely Yes.

markyboy2005

Okay, not my own personal story, but one I observed one day in Edinburgh early 90's.

I am walking to the car park and as I cross one road, I hear lots os engine revving and swearing as a White van screams past a cyclist (closely). It seems they have had an arguement at previous junction and WVM is carrying it on and intimidating cyclist as he screaches towards the next.

At the next junction lights are red and WVM gets stopped. Cyclist catches up and they start arguing. WVM leans out his window and spits on cyclist (nasty) and by this time there is a crowd (10-20 people).

So cyclist picks his frount wheel up and smashes against front right light of van.

WVM goes mental - opens his door and jumps out for a fight. It is at this point that there is a collective recognition around the watching group that WVM has made a mistake....he is about 5' 2" and about the same wide, cyclist is at least 6' and looks pretty athletic.......

WVM swings and misses - cyclist punches WVM 3 times rapid.....he was pretty handy and I think WVM thought he was fighting two or three guys.

Cyclist jumps back on his bike and cycles away.

The stinger - this has all taken place outside a police station to a chorus of shouts and horn blasts. By the time WVM gets to his senses, the police are there. They move his van to side of the road and huckle him into the station to cheers from the crowd.

Now I know violence is wrong and I know WVM might not have been all to blame, but the spitting and using his van as a weapon made me instantly dislike him.

Not sure what happened after that, but we all had a new hero for the day - who was that lycra clad crusader?????

Papa Smurf

I once had abit of trouble with a taxi driver.. To which I got ahead of him and blocked him off at the traffic lights, staying there for a good 5 minutes while arguing the lights we're RED and he MUST be blind (obviously they wasn't- I just wanted to piss him off for what he did)
He got very abusive about it, mostly arguing how the hell is he blind... To which my reply was "Well, you didn't see me did you?"

A few weeks after that I was coming along a main road and was prepairing to move out to overtake 2 parked cars... There was a double decker bus behind me... He got past ok... But the large articulated lorry that I couldn't see behind him decided he would fit too... Pulling out, then in... Only for his trailer not to follow suit and squash me inbetween the 2 cars, passing less that 2 inches from my handlebars.
But due to his size I decided not to do the taxi trick, simply because the driver was so high up, he probably wouldn't of known I was there if I cut him off.

iainment

Of course all of these incidents lead to increased respect from motorists towards cyclists and to them never repeating this type of driving to other cyclists.

:roll:

rustychisel

Iain, much as I can see your point of view, and the risk of escalation, you should remember that in all cases the dirvers have already demonstrated their utter disregard or piss-poor skill, or both. They will continue to do so until called to account, in some manner or other. Let it be sooner rather than later, and let them learn a lesson they'll never forget. You want me to be an apologist on the road? NO! I've survived over 25 years of cycling on the roads - never having been hit by another vehicle - by being very observant, quite clear about my place and where I'm going, and by demanding my rights. I will not be bullied or cajoled, I am traffic, not merely 'getting in the way of traffic'.

To the OP, the best I ever saw was in about 1978 when I was cycling alone in the Adelaide Hills - top of Gorge Road at Kangaroo Creek Dam - when a car came past me, rather close and swooping across the road to 'frighten' me. Shortly thereafter I was joined by three other cyclists who caught me from behind and looked like 'proper racers' (I was about 16). They were slightly ahead of me when, a few km down the road, we saw the offending vehicle parked in a picturesque layby... I say offending because it became clear the other cyclists had an axe to grind with this particular driver.

They didn't adjust their pace or call out, just adopted the formation with a glance, and moved off the road and past the parked car (driver in his seat) at about 35kmh. The first went down the RH side and dumped an entire bidon into the open drivers window (terrific shot), the second to the LH side and snapped the radio aerial off with a swipe of his hand, and the third took his left foot off the pedal and raked his cleat down the entire length of the car (remember metal cleats and shoe plates?). It was all over in 3 seconds, they rejoined the road, and I've never forgotten the beauty of it as a response.

markyboy2005

iainment wrote:

Of course all of these incidents lead to increased respect from motorists towards cyclists and to them never repeating this type of driving to other cyclists.

:roll:

Iain,

I don't think taking the moral high ground and looking at the big picture is at the forefront of people's mind when someone has used a 1-2 tonne vehicle as weapon against them then spat in their face (in the example i gave). Also in the same example you'll note the WVM came out swinging - this is obvious self defence.

I think one of the biggest weaknesses in modern society is over analysing, thinking too far ahead, pontificating etc, when direct action can (not always) be the best action to take. I agree we need to remain civilised where possible and think of the consequencies of actions, but being attacked produces reactions from people because the human body is designed to react in these circumstances - heart rate increases, adrenilin flows etc.

Turning the other cheek is a noble position to take, but sometimes it does help the cause. In the case above it would have simply vindicated WVM (to himself) and who knows what he would have done next.

Also please note that in this case pedestrians and drivers alike were cheering when the hairy wee weeble wobble was dragged into the station , I think some of them may have even taken up cycling.........

whyamihere

I had someone overtake me rather too close a couple of times on a stretch of road, and there was an exchange of gestures. He pulled over to the left and slowed down, I moved around to his open window for a chat.
He asked me why I'd made such obscene gestures. I responded by asking him why he'd tried to kill me.

He drove off at a remarkably high speed.

iainment

rustychisel wrote:

Iain, much as I can see your point of view, and the risk of escalation, you should remember that in all cases the dirvers have already demonstrated their utter disregard or wee-wee-poor skill, or both. They will continue to do so until called to account, in some manner or other. Let it be sooner rather than later, and let them learn a lesson they'll never forget. You want me to be an apologist on the road? NO! I've survived over 25 years of cycling on the roads - never having been hit by another vehicle - by being very observant, quite clear about my place and where I'm going, and by demanding my rights. I will not be bullied or cajoled, I am traffic, not merely 'getting in the way of traffic'.

To the OP, the best I ever saw was in about 1978 when I was cycling alone in the Adelaide Hills - top of Gorge Road at Kangaroo Creek Dam - when a car came past me, rather close and swooping across the road to 'frighten' me. Shortly thereafter I was joined by three other cyclists who caught me from behind and looked like 'proper racers' (I was about 16). They were slightly ahead of me when, a few km down the road, we saw the offending vehicle parked in a picturesque layby... I say offending because it became clear the other cyclists had an axe to grind with this particular driver.

They didn't adjust their pace or call out, just adopted the formation with a glance, and moved off the road and past the parked car (driver in his seat) at about 35kmh. The first went down the RH side and dumped an entire bidon into the open drivers window (terrific shot), the second to the LH side and snapped the radio aerial off with a swipe of his hand, and the third took his left foot off the pedal and raked his cleat down the entire length of the car (remember metal cleats and shoe plates?). It was all over in 3 seconds, they rejoined the road, and I've never forgotten the beauty of it as a response.

You can't have it both ways, even if a motorist has caused a problem with their driving, even if it is breaking the road laws it does not justify retaliatory behaviour that is illegal in itself. So cyclists causing criminal damage to a vehicle, threatening drivers or causing obstruction on the road are no better than the obnoxious drivers they have been provoked by.
2 wrongs don't make a right, and I suspect that in the majority of cases witnesses to these incidents don't always see the cause and just see psycho cyclists having a pop.

Pip pip.

System_1

I'm with rustychisel and markyboy. Obviously unprovoked violence is unacceptable in any walk of life but I think it's about time that us cyclists stop being such an easy target for bullies and stop being such pathetic weaklings. Drivers would certainly expect a bit of a mouthful and a toot of the horn if they treated fellow motons with the disrespect they treat cyclists, so why not mouth off and stand up for yourself once in a while. I guess that's easy to say when you're 6ft 2 and 17st, but it might be the only way we'll reclaim some respect on the streets, because let's face it, the law is hardly on our side.

Some drivers just can't see the danger they put us in and telling them forcefully once in a while could mean the difference between them carrying on as they do and killing someone, or maybe taking a bit more care next time. I doubt there are that many out there that would be so spiteful to use a telling off as an excuse to purposefully put a cyclists life in danger in the future. And frankly I don't care what witnesses think. They are in no position to be judging you unless they have seen the whole incident, and I care more about my personal safety than what others think of me.

rustychisel

It isn't double standards... I answered the OP and pointed out the beauty of their response. I never (that's NEVER) offer violence to the individual concerned, but standing up for yourself and your road rights is an entirely different thing.
In fact, psychologically speaking, you have no defenses other than real firmness and directness in action. Never waver, always know exactly where you're going and how you're getting there. Anticipation, both in course of action and of other traffic and conditions is paramount.
I ALWAYS act on the road as if a possible collision is going to leave the other party worse off: going into a roundabout, for example, it's a good idea to sit high and eyeball all the other drivers, including those behind you, move out and take the primary position, cover the brake levers with your hands, sit high, go a quickly as you can, indicate clearly and early, and adopt an expression (body and face) which suggests if they try it you'll come hurtling through the windscreen and rip their jugular out. At the same time I know its a ploy and I have an escape strategy.
I've said it before, if you wanna act like Neville Chamberlain be prepared to be treated as a second class citizen on your roads. I will not.

iainment

rustychisel wrote:

It isn't double standards... I answered the OP and pointed out the beauty of their response. I never (that's NEVER) offer violence to the individual concerned, but standing up for yourself and your road rights is an entirely different thing.
In fact, psychologically speaking, you have no defenses other than real firmness and directness in action. Never waver, always know exactly where you're going and how you're getting there. Anticipation, both in course of action and of other traffic and conditions is paramount.
I ALWAYS act on the road as if a possible collision is going to leave the other party worse off: going into a roundabout, for example, it's a good idea to sit high and eyeball all the other drivers, including those behind you, move out and take the primary position, cover the brake levers with your hands, sit high, go a quickly as you can, indicate clearly and early, and adopt an expression (body and face) which suggests if they try it you'll come hurtling through the windscreen and rip their jugular out. At the same time I know its a ploy and I have an escape strategy.
I've said it before, if you wanna act like Neville Chamberlain be prepared to be treated as a second class citizen on your roads. I will not.

I agree with most of what you say, but there's a fine line between being assertive and aggressive and some on here don't appear to know where it is. Trying to look as if you are prepared to rip out their jugular might be a bit over. Just saying....

:?

gradiric

Commuting in London for over 10 years I have numerous aggressive encounters to recount but my favourite actually involved 2 motorists facing off. I was queuing to get into an underground carpark on my bike alongside another cyclist. We were behind 2 cars also waiting to get past security and enter the carpark. After a wait of about 1 minute with nothing happening, the fellow cyclist gave a loud blast on his airhorn. Upon which the motorist in front jumped out of his car and started having a go at the motorist behind him, believing it was him who had honked his horn. Ended up with the 2 drivers squaring off as me and other cyclist nipped round chuckling....

anagallis_arvensis

throwing a mars bar wrapper back through an open window after a traffic jam trapped cyclist lobbed it out in front of me, with a cheery "you dropped this mate". One day I'll get to do the same with a light fag butt!

Majikthise

This wasn't me but I was witness to the most superb direct action and presence of mind....

This was in Ipswich, a mature fellow on a city bike, just a regular commuter, or so I thought gets VERY badly cut up by a chav type bloke in a Mini. At the next lights on a cross roads the Mini stops (in the advance box of course) windows down chav music pumping. Our Fellow calmly cycles alongside the right hand side of the Mini, deftly reaches through the open window, turns off the engine and swiftly removes the keys. Keys in hand our Fellow clamly pedals to the other side of the crossing (on green of course..) and drops the chav's keys down a drain! Beautiful!

Our Fellow calmly pedals away with the driver of the Mini remonstrating his predicament!

Splendid! 8)

Parsnip49

the removing the keys thing isnt that great an idea - me and a mate were out on a fast training ride and were sitting at about 30-35 (tailwinds ftw) when some daft cow pulled out infront of us, we both went mental, chased her down at the next lights, i banged the passenger window, she looked over and my mate tried to nick her keys - ended up snapping they key off in the lock though - bet that was a fun one for her to fix...

APIII

Heading out of Kensington towards Hammersmith a few years back, I felt the draft as a yellow Saab convertible whistled past with barely an inch to spare. Now I know that there are a lot of traffic lights between me and Hammersmith broadway and of course he gets stuck in queing traffic at the next set. I pass on the left, and without breaking my stride, gob on his trophy girlfriend in the passenger seat, and ride off with a rather warm feeling inside. Not only was he p1ssed that someone humiliated his girlfriend, but I also took pleasure in the knowledge he got an earful from her for causing the incident. Most satisfying.

System_1

Banging on windows, a bit of shouting or pointing out of stupidity, and even removing keys (a bit extreme and not something I'd do personally) are all almost forgivable, but spitting on an innocent woman? Your parents must be so proud. :roll:

Parsnip49

i dont feel proud that i go nuts when folk cut me up - but the keystealing one was because i was running at pretty much my aenerobic threshold, going bloody quickly, and had to lock up both wheels to stop me from coming off at 30+mph wearing nothng but a skinsuit top and shorts(lots of people probably think i should be shot for this though :P) - adrenaline fuelled madness im sure youll agree - im a lot calmer when my heart isnt going 180+ bpm

As for spitting on the guys girlfriend - if it was me in the car - i would have got out and kicked the living shit out of you - hell, if i was on my bike and i saw that, i would probably vocalise my feelings on how much of a dobber you were,probably would have blocked you till the guy caught up aswell.

Isnt spitting on someone classed as assault anyway?

APIII

You're both right of course. It was an unsavoury and juvenile act on my behalf, but in my defence it is the only time I have ever retaliated (other than the ubiquitous hand signals). It's also the closest I've ever come to being (intentionally) mown down, so something must have snapped inside me that day.
I've seen others resort to criminal damage, and I can't say I support that either, but everyone has their limit I suppose, and when that's breached people do all sorts of strange things.

always_tyred

iainment wrote:

Of course all of these incidents lead to increased respect from motorists towards cyclists and to them never repeating this type of driving to other cyclists.

:roll:

Just to be clear. This isn't a "lets promote bike rage" thread, and I think there's other threads on here to talk about what we should be doing in any given circumstance.

This is catharsis. This is imagining the perfect repost to console yourself the next time someone blithely comes close to killing you.

We are sitting in a circle on crappy plastic chairs in our local community centre.

My name is Always Tyred and I'm a cyclist.

I started this thread because I've just endured several months of torture. I've been driven at by busses, shouted at by white van men and professionals in mercs alike, wrecked my wheels in bomb craters slashed my tyres on broken glass, had projectiles hurled at me, been buzzed, cut up, harrassed and in every way bullied off the road simply for being there.

I've been working in Glasgow.

From 7:40 to 8:50am its a revolting, run down, agressive and charmless city full of ignorant agressive and charmless drivers, angry that their run down, agressive and charmless city permeates into their metal boxes between 7:40 and 8:50am.

When I venture out again after about 7pm, it is just a city, by a river, surrounded by countryside.

I want to take out all of my anger on the next ignorant, agressive motorist that I see. I struggle to love my bike. Please help me dissipate my anger and be a better person.

My name is Always Tyred and I'm a cyclist.

rustychisel

And that, AT, is near enough to the perfect response.

Always know that it's their problem, their lives, their helpless flailing that is the problem. Not you. You're just the target. Some of us fight back, some of us are blithe (until it happens once too often, I suspect).

Stay on the bike - safely.

top_bhoy

Always Tyred wrote:

From 7:40 to 8:50am its a revolting, run down, agressive and charmless city full of ignorant agressive and charmless drivers, angry that their run down, agressive and charmless city permeates into their metal boxes between 7:40 and 8:50am.

When I venture out again after about 7pm, it is just a city, by a river, surrounded by countryside.

You were doing well until the end. How does this differ from any other city? The plus side is that you have got the country probably no more than a 15 minute cycle from your home which makes up for all the idiots, half-wits and morons which undoubtedly exist.

Which part of the city are you passing through for all this to happen - as you can see from this thread, there are ar$es everywhere not limited to your route. Sadly, unwanted though it is, its part of cycling.

Eat My Dust

Always Tyred wrote:

I've been working in Glasgow.

You should have said that in the first place. Now I feel really sorry for you!!

Tourist Tony

I have told this one before, but it still makes me smile.
Out riding with a tiny female friend near Ipswich and we are carved up big style by a midget 4x4. I make a gesture, and the driver screeches to a halt and leaps out of the car yelling, marching back to have a fight.
As he strides back towards us his speed gradually decreases as he realises that I am not a racing snake, but rather an ex prop forward....
He stopped about twenty yards away to shout, while I just smiled and told him I was memorising his number.
So sweet.

always_tyred

Top_Bhoy wrote:

Always Tyred wrote:

From 7:40 to 8:50am its a revolting, run down, agressive and charmless city full of ignorant agressive and charmless drivers, angry that their run down, agressive and charmless city permeates into their metal boxes between 7:40 and 8:50am.

When I venture out again after about 7pm, it is just a city, by a river, surrounded by countryside.

You were doing well until the end. How does this differ from any other city? The plus side is that you have got the country probably no more than a 15 minute cycle from your home which makes up for all the idiots, half-wits and morons which undoubtedly exist.

Which part of the city are you passing through for all this to happen - as you can see from this thread, there are ar$es everywhere not limited to your route. Sadly, unwanted though it is, its part of cycling.

Of course. I've been cycling for years. Even though, I have to say I was taken aback by Glasgow. Maybe I've been spoiled by Edinburgh in recent years!

Its true, though, that at least the city is just about small enough to get out of by bike. Its a bit more than 15 mins though - the urban area is about 1.7 million now, I think.