How gay is lycra??

pdstsp

My 14 year old daughter has had a discussion/competition at school today to find the person with the "gayest" dad. Fourth was the bloke who danced round his kitchen, third was the dad who has grown his hair and buts it in a bobble when working to keep it off his face. I came second because I wear lycra in public (only when riding). Guy who won it did so because of his fondness for the music of Kylie.

Now my questions are :
1 - should I be upset that my hobby is leading to some ridicule among the teenagers?
2- should I be upset that I didn't win?

I am fairly competitive and I am told that if I were to admit to wearing lycra socially I would probably jump into first place. However then bobble man could just say he likes Madonna or Judy Garland and it would be like the cold war all over again with spiralling claims and counter claims.

Should I, therefore, settle for silver and move on?

marky2484

If you want to win, and don't want to wear Lycra socially, I think a pair of lycra shorts, cut down to Kylie length ( think the gold ones in Spinning Around), even if worn on the bike, may just do the trick......... :oops:

pdstsp

Reading that I'm not sure I want to win anymore

OffTheBackAdam

Wear what you like, whatever it is will be ridiculed by your daughter. "Fine" your little treasure a week's pocket money for failing to succesfully argue that you were the gayest dad ever
Daughters should be embarrassed at every turn.

sloboy

Your number 1 job is to embarass your daughters. The objective is to get them to develop as low a tolerance for weirdness as possible, hence guidng them to keeping strictly to the narrow path of coventionality until they're no longer your problem.

I have two daughters, who are permanently mortified by my behaviour. I feel I am doing my duty to them to the utmost.

Rob Sallnow

pdstsp wrote:

My 14 year old daughter has had a discussion/competition at school today to find the person with the "gayest" dad.

Tell her....in front of her friends... you are SO gay that she's adopted.

Then walk off singing 'I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky,lucky'

dennisn

I thought that embarrassing your children was what good parenting was all about.

Dennis Noward

pdstsp

Guys I feel humbled in the face of your advice - the wisdom is truly astounding. I am, as we speak, ordering a pink stetson and chaps to replace helmet and bib-tights. Its Number 1 or nothing from now on.

Thanks a lot -

Paul

orv

pdstsp wrote:

I came second because I wear lycra in public (only when riding). Guy who won it did so because of his fondness for the music of Kylie.

did you point out you also shave your legs? surely that should edge you ahead??

webbhost

Your number 1 job is to embarass your daughters.

Therefore, you should turn upto her school to pick her up wearing your Kylie Length lycra shorts

pdstsp

Beat you to it Webhost - the threat elicited the classic teenage response "I'll never speak to you again" So that's a gimme!!

Orv - I mat be misreading the root of your name but is looks to me like the diminutive of Orville - forgive me but I have a serious sexual identitiy and parenting issue going on here so I am unlikely to take too much advice from Keith Harris's duck.

Also my wife has ok'ed the two bike thing, lets me go to france twice a year with the lads
- once to ski once to bike- but she has barred leg shaving - so being a great big girly kylie gay dad I have MANS LEGS - HAAAAAIIIIRRRRY.

grayo59

On the subject of embarrassing your daughters - I am a window cleaner and the best way of putting the fear of god into them is when I threaten to turn up and offer to clean the windows of their respective schools!

No lycra - but the hi-vis dustbin man look works wonders.

Oh, and turning up for parents evening in a suit, cufflinks, pink shirt and tie comes a close second!

"Why can't you just dress normally, dad?"

shockedsoshocked

webbhost wrote:

Your number 1 job is to embarass your daughters.

Therefore, you should turn upto her school to pick her up wearing your Kylie Length lycra shorts

My dad once met me at the school gates whilst on a run wearing short shorts, a vest and sporting a moustache Freddy Mercury would be proud of.

People still bring it up.

webbhost

ouch... now I know why your diisplay name is "ShockedSoShocked"

Crapaud

pdstsp wrote:

Guys I feel humbled in the face of your advice - the wisdom is truly astounding. I am, as we speak, ordering a pink stetson and chaps to replace helmet and bib-tights. Its Number 1 or nothing from now on.

Thanks a lot -

Paul

Not so fast pdstsp! What you need is a pair of Rain Legs:



...and a pair of Biker Nutz hanging from under your saddle.



Thus attired, open all the windows, put Soft Cell's 'Tainted Love' on the hi-fi (turned up to 11), and cycle up and down the road pausing occassionally to get up on the pedals, half turn and slap your backside.

If that doesn't win it for you, get back to us.

Good luck!

Cyrenne

Do you possess any sort of 'man-jewellery' or a 'man-bag'? That should help you on your quest for next year's title.
Or will you have moved out by then --- to be living in a bedsit with your 14 year old Thai ladyboy lover?

Clever Pun

why not combine the elements of the the top 4 to give you an unassailable lead

wearing lycra (before a cycle) warm up by dancing to Kylie in the kitchen...

OffTheBackAdam

Cyrenne wrote:

Do you possess any sort of 'man-jewellery' or a 'man-bag'? That should help you on your quest for next year's title.
Or will you have moved out by then --- to be living in a bedsit with your 14 year old Thai ladyboy lover?

Manbag probably does qualify as "Gayness", however "Gay" no longer means homosexual, it now means "Naff", "Crap", "Rubbish" or generally not very good or fashionable.
Peter Mandelson does, however, form a bridge between both connertations!

orv

pdstsp wrote:

Orv - I mat be misreading the root of your name but is looks to me like the diminutive of Orville - forgive me but I have a serious sexual identitiy and parenting issue going on here so I am unlikely to take too much advice from Keith Harris's duck.

indeed. well it originated from my name being ivor, but after a significant number of pints and vodka shots it degenerated into "orv" as a nomenclature for the group to hail subsequent rounds of beverages. and its sort of stuck since. oh and it's almost always still available on web boards. Er, odd that.
anyway. onto shaving..... well if you aren't committed and devoted enough to the quest for ultimate gayness.... shame on you.

ooh I know you could equip your bike with campag and wear a jersey with the slogan "I'm a campy guy" on it? that should do the trick.

geoff_ss

I wonder when all this kids embarrassed by parents started? It's over 50 years since I left my all-male grammar school but I just don't remember anybody being bothered about clothes, music or, especially, parents or what they wore. We've never had kids so I'm clearly out of touch but I like to think my attitude would be to wear what I wanted and they'd have to put up with it.

I know a friend used to pick her kids up from school in her motor bike and sidecar outfit - not sure if that was considered cool or not. I do know our tandeming friends granddaughter was embarrassed by having grandparents not only wearing lycra but riding a twicer.

Geoff

stevechambers34

When my daughter was at school she like many was late up on occassion, as I work shifts I was 'free' to drop her at school (5 miles and no more busses if she missed it)but she didn't really want to go in the 'tootmobeel' she hated and frequently said so, obviously 'toot' was upset and tooted it's distress frequently.
The Tootmobeel was/is my old trusty work car an ageing G reg Renault 5 1100cc with an airhorn (hence the toot) fitted(not by me), as she often complained I would toot as I left her walking through the play ground ,it worked even better if I drove past her and her friends a good toot would see her visibly recoil and hide she publicly disowned and ignored me...but boy did it make me laugh!
Now she works and is still late but getting better, but now she does'nt mind Toot as if she's late it costs here handbag/makeup vouchers.
She also ignores me still when I am on my roadbike in Lycra but not when on my oldschool mtb with all my 'Skatewear' as she calls it on (mtb trainers, baggy Dirtmonkey cargo shorts and longsleeve mtb tops.

Bunnyman 5.5

Crapaud wrote:

pdstsp wrote:

Guys I feel humbled in the face of your advice - the wisdom is truly astounding. I am, as we speak, ordering a pink stetson and chaps to replace helmet and bib-tights. Its Number 1 or nothing from now on.

Thanks a lot -

Paul

Not so fast pdstsp! What you need is a pair of Rain Legs:



...and a pair of Biker Nutz hanging from under your saddle.



Thus attired, open all the windows, put Soft Cell's 'Tainted Love' on the hi-fi (turned up to 11), and cycle up and down the road pausing occassionally to get up on the pedals, half turn and slap your backside.

If that doesn't win it for you, get back to us.

Good luck!

Go forth and lead those disco dollies to a life of vice now! :P :P

don key

pdstsp wrote:

Guys I feel humbled in the face of your advice - the wisdom is truly astounding. I am, as we speak, ordering a pink stetson and chaps to replace helmet and bib-tights. Its Number 1 or nothing from now on.

Thanks a lot -

paul(quote)


wear them over the helmet and chapos(the ones with the missing front and back),they have less, show more and cost only your credibility and cumin sense.

Mark Alexander

The government have come up with the idea of parenting packs for new parents. There should be a section on "How to embarass your teenager" with a link to this post for a reference point.

Clever Pun

I got tattooed last night wearing lycra...I got a few comments saying I was odd from guys with faces covered in ink... well I found it funny. I even did a wrestling pose while just wearing bib tights

The missus reckon I look like a raging homo wearing them

mrushton

Clever Pun wrote:

I got tattooed last night wearing lycra...I got a few comments saying I was odd from guys with faces covered in ink... well I found it funny. I even did a wrestling pose while just wearing bib tights

The missus reckon I look like a raging homo wearing them

Strange how wives/children who I suspect have v.little knowledge of what the gay community actually wear describe us as 'gay' ' homo' or some other nonsense. Yet why do i feel that when they watch @Dancing on s***e or some other TV fodder, they are probably oohing at how lovely the English prop-forward looks in his lycra trousers.

Mark Alexander

that's disturbing

sloboy

Geoff_SS wrote:

I wonder when all this kids embarrassed by parents started? It's over 50 years since I left my all-male grammar school but I just don't remember anybody being bothered about clothes, music or, especially, parents or what they wore. We've never had kids so I'm clearly out of touch but I like to think my attitude would be to wear what I wanted and they'd have to put up with it.

I know a friend used to pick her kids up from school in her motor bike and sidecar outfit - not sure if that was considered cool or not. I do know our tandeming friends granddaughter was embarrassed by having grandparents not only wearing lycra but riding a twicer.

Geoff

50 years+ ? - that may mean you were out just before the generation gap was invented. I left my all-male grammar school 30 years ago, and I clearly identify with the "embarassing parent" syndrome both as the embarassee and now, I'm happy and proud to say, as the embarrassor !

don key

Clever Pun wrote:

I got tattooed last night wearing lycra...I got a few comments saying I was odd from guys with faces covered in ink... well I found it funny. I even did a wrestling pose while just wearing bib tights

The missus reckon I look like a raging homo wearing them

Whats a ragging homo?

don key

Clever Pun wrote:

I got tattooed last night wearing lycra...I got a few comments saying I was odd from guys with faces covered in ink... well I found it funny. I even did a wrestling pose while just wearing bib tights

The missus reckon I look like a raging homo wearing them

Whats a ragging homo?

I have been baton charged by the police and thoroughly enjoyed dexperience.

As to how lye is gaycra, take a risk. I can see it all ,we have a gaycrasher in our midst, it might catch on.

cee

sloboy wrote:

50 years+ ? - that may mean you were out just before the generation gap was invented. I left my all-male grammar school 30 years ago, and I clearly identify with the "embarassing parent" syndrome both as the embarassee and now, I'm happy and proud to say, as the embarrassor !

why embarrassor......with the ferrero rocher you are really spoiling us.