I have another thoery...

Gotte
Gotte Posts: 494
edited January 2008 in The bottom bracket
They have a secret sensor in the ground at lights. I crawl up when the lights are red, try and balance, wait it out, wobble, then I touch my foot to the ground and the lights change. There must be a secret button, there must...

Comments

  • webbhost
    webbhost Posts: 470
    Gotte,

    Carry some bricks in your pocket... When you slow down drop one on the floor and voila... you have successfully fooled the lights!

    At this point speed off before any cops can do you for littering...
  • Gotte
    Gotte Posts: 494
    Hey, I like your thinking.
  • Random Vince
    Random Vince Posts: 11,374
    even better, put a rack on the bike with a mechanism for dropping the brick
    My signature was stolen by a moose

    that will be all

    trying to get GT James banned since tuesday
  • Gotte
    Gotte Posts: 494
    How about a trailer with my wife and a bucket full of bricks?
  • Bunny-hop onto it! :D
    Remember that you are an Englishman and thus have won first prize in the lottery of life.
  • A lot of lights now do have sensors - if you look down and see a patch of tarmac, that's probably a sign that the lights you're at have a sensor. It's just a metal detector under the surface of the tarmac, but they're not always as sensitive to bikes as cars because obviously there's less metal in a bike and its not as near the ground. In theory you can get the lights to change faster by leaning your bike towards the patch of tarmac so that the sensor picks it up, but then you'd probably look a bit special. And you'd have to unclip.
  • Gotte
    Gotte Posts: 494
    Bunny-hop onto it! :D

    Are you mad, I'd have a trailer with wife and bricks aboard.
  • Mike Healey
    Mike Healey Posts: 1,023
    I applied Schroedinger's Cat theory to this problem. It is more that the signal's sensor is both on and off (because you can't open the box). It is only when you put your foot down that you discover whether or not is it working or if it is on or off.

    If, however, you decide to make it change more quickly, by unclipping and putting your foot down as soon as you arrive at the junction, the switch stays keeps the light at red. This is because Schroedinger hated cyclists because one ran over the box in which his cat was sleeping.

    Alternatively, you can log on to a fundamentalist evangelical site to discover it is because God hates all you commiespandex-wearingfaggots and wants you to wait. No further proof is needed that you're all atheistic car-hating treehuggers because you all run red lights and are doomed when we are uplifted in the final rapture.
    Organising the Bradford Kids Saturday Bike Club at the Richard Dunn Sports Centre since 1998
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/eastbradfordcyclingclub/
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/eastbradfordcyclingclub/
  • Gotte
    Gotte Posts: 494
    Wow, I can't wait for that rapture - all those car drivers at the side of the Lord. I wonder if he's thought it through, though. Think how many more parking bays he'll have to install, and how do you paint the lines on clouds, anyway?
    Do you reckon God will even take Jeremy Clarkson? That tickles me. Imagine Clarkson having to tootle around God's little Acre in a micra, waving to the Apostles at the crossing. I bet it's the chap downstairs who let's you do donuts in your ferarri at 3 am in the supermarket carpark.
  • whyamihere
    whyamihere Posts: 7,717
    Metal cleats? :wink:
  • grayo59
    grayo59 Posts: 722
    whyamihere wrote:
    Metal cleats? :wink:

    Tin foil hat and cape? :)
    __________________
    ......heading for the box, but not too soon I hope!
  • geoff_ss
    geoff_ss Posts: 1,201
    When I commuted it was early in the morning and there were very few cars. If there wasn't a car coming I'd ride in the middle of the road over the detector and it usually made the lights change. If it didn't I was known occasionally to cross on red over another empty road.

    I always rode a steel bike. How aluminium or carbon bikes manage, I don't know.

    When out with a group it's always a good idea to employ a boy for 2 purposes. First to put his foot down so that lights change or traffic moves. Second to put on a waterproof at the first sign of rain so that it stops. Works for me ;)

    Geoff
    Old cyclists never die; they just fit smaller chainrings ... and pedal faster
  • Gotte
    Gotte Posts: 494
    I like your style.
  • Parkey
    Parkey Posts: 303
    hanging metal saucepans off your handlebars using lengths of string might help? Would make a bit of a noise if you went around corners at speed though.
    "A recent study has found that, at the current rate of usage, the word 'sustainable' will be worn out by the year 2015"
  • bigmug
    bigmug Posts: 58
    I put this to the test another way. Assuming that if 'my' lights had just changed red then the other way must be green. So got off and walked across to the other lights - which were, surprise surprise, by the time I'd walked round just then turning red!

    Good to get the miles in but on the 1587th round trip I decided to pack it in.
  • webbhost
    webbhost Posts: 470
    whyamihere wrote:
    Metal cleats?


    Tin foil hat and cape?

    How about a cow catcher from a train on the front of your bike? Thats bound to do the trick. At the same tmie you dont have to worry about pesky animals / people.
  • Gotte
    Gotte Posts: 494
    Hey, now we're getting somewhere.
  • PhilofCas
    PhilofCas Posts: 1,153
    fill your socks with iron filings ? or dangle Richard Kiel (actor, Jaws in James Bond films) face down in front of your front wheel ? good idea ? no ?
  • Gotte
    Gotte Posts: 494
    I doubt I could do the thing with the actor. I'd be too busy trying to bunny hop a bike with a trailer on the back and a cow catcher on the front. Of course, I suppose I could attatch a pannier rack and strap him upside down to it, just so long as he didn;t interfere with the trailer coupling. Ifhe did, then I'm affraid he'd just have to run behind and bend down at each set of lights.
  • PhilofCas
    PhilofCas Posts: 1,153
    Gotte wrote:
    I doubt I could do the thing with the actor. I'd be too busy trying to bunny hop a bike with a trailer on the back and a cow catcher on the front. Of course, I suppose I could attatch a pannier rack and strap him upside down to it, just so long as he didn;t interfere with the trailer coupling. Ifhe did, then I'm affraid he'd just have to run behind and bend down at each set of lights.

    not sure he'd make it, he must be knocking on a bit now