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All you bike lovers out there be warned.........

hammeritehammerite Posts: 3,408
edited November 2007 in The bottom bracket
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;jsessionid=YNQFFXC0V5II5QFIQMFSFFWAVCBQ0IV0?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml

:lol:

No idea why anyone would do this, but also is it really as bas to be put on the sex offenders list alongside people who would've committed crimes of a more severe nature.





Sorry if this has been posted already.
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Posts

  • That's put me off my dinner.
  • BronzieBronzie Posts: 4,927
    Now I like to think I'm an open minded sort of person, but I am befuddled as to how you "have sex with a pavement". :?:
  • And why exactlyt is that illegal? It was in private, and not in public after all, not that I can understand the attraction of shagging ones bike, let alone condoning it.
  • emaichaelemaichael Posts: 109
    why should it be illegal...not that i really care.
    but women use dildos, vibrating ones aswell. yet a guy having sex with a bike... is illegal. lol
    put on the sex offenders register for having sex with an item... sounds ridiculous.
    ''GIANT TCR 2 2006 edition, did you, or didn't you give consent for this man to have sex with you''
  • Monty DogMonty Dog Posts: 20,614
    I'm intruiged about the pavement thing too?? I agree that he's been treated unduly harsh - he was behind a locked door and not causing offence to anyone - it's bizarre behaviour but hardly a threat to anyone
    Make mine an Italian, with Campagnolo on the side..
  • emaichaelemaichael Posts: 109
    i can understand a women getting....thrills from rubbing themselves on a pavement... but i cant understand how a guy could.
  • There's a difference between having a tug in private and in public. One is perfectly acceptable and not to be denied, the other is outrageous and should be counteracted with the full force of the legal process. Both of which sidestep the real point: why a bike FFS????
  • CrapaudCrapaud Posts: 2,666
    There was a story a few years back of a guy who was arrested for shagging a shoe, then a couple of weeks later he was arrested again for shagging a bin bag - both in public! :?

    Anecdotally, I've heard of someone cutting a hole on an orange with an apple corer and doing the evil deed with that - it's just like the real thing! Apparently. :shock:

    This has just reminded me of another story, but I think I'll go and throw up instead of telling it. [projectile vomit smilie]
    A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject - Churchill
  • emaichaelemaichael Posts: 109
    Crapaud wrote:
    There was a story a few years back of a guy who was arrested for shagging a shoe, then a couple of weeks later he was arrested again for shagging a bin bag - both in public! :?

    Anecdotally, I've heard of someone cutting a hole on an orange with an apple corer and doing the evil deed with that - it's just like the real thing! Apparently. :shock:

    This has just reminded me of another story, but I think I'll go and throw up instead of telling it. [projectile vomit smilie]

    *everyone rushes for an orange and tries it out*
  • on the roadon the road Posts: 5,631
    Crapaud wrote:
    This has just reminded me of another story, but I think I'll go and throw up instead of telling it. [projectile vomit smilie]
    Do tell, you've got everyone im suspence now :lol:
  • I've also heard that the nostril of cow is also like the "real thing" with the added advantage that it can use its tongue at the same time....
  • CrapaudCrapaud Posts: 2,666
    Crapaud wrote:
    This has just reminded me of another story, but I think I'll go and throw up instead of telling it. [projectile vomit smilie]
    Do tell, you've got everyone im suspence now :lol:
    Can't. It'll get me thrown off the forum and, possibly out of the country. Anyway, it's a bit off topic.
    I've also heard that the nostril of cow is also like the "real thing" with the added advantage that it can use its tongue at the same time....
    That's seriously disgusting. I hope you just made it up. [heaves]
    A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject - Churchill
  • bryanmbryanm Posts: 270
    Anyone know what sort of bike it was? :?
  • CrapaudCrapaud Posts: 2,666
    bryanm wrote:
    Anyone know what sort of bike it was? :?
    Full sussies MTB?
    A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject - Churchill
  • popettepopette Posts: 2,089
    I've also heard that the nostril of cow is also like the "real thing" with the added advantage that it can use its tongue at the same time....

    I think a line may have been crossed :lol: yuk
  • emaichaelemaichael Posts: 109
    that is utterly disgusting, but made me laugh a little. anything to brake the mood my bitchy gf causes
  • andypandyp Posts: 8,128
    So does this mean every businessman in the country who watches the pay tv channel, or bongo vision as it's known around here, will be prosecuted and placed on the sex offenders register if a cleaner comes into the room mid act?
  • NivacromNivacrom Posts: 111
    Typical; marginalising pedestrians and cyclists....
  • pedylanpedylan Posts: 775
    Crapaud wrote:

    Anecdotally, I've heard of someone cutting a hole on an orange with an apple corer and doing the evil deed with that - it's just like the real thing! Apparently. :shock:

    Old Middle Eastern saying, women for babies, boys for pleasure and water melons for ecstasy.

    Pre bike days obviously...........
    Where the neon madmen climb
  • popettepopette Posts: 2,089
    hey steve,
    just back from a 40th birhtday party (i'm years and years off that yet). I amused some farmers with my talk of cows nostrils and tongues, I can tell you
    Thanks for that mate.
    :D
  • cracklecrackle Posts: 216
    I've also heard that the nostril of cow is also like the "real thing" with the added advantage that it can use its tongue at the same time....



    ....OK....

    ...and moving onto practicalities. How d'yer keep it still exactly :?

    Or are cows used to this as part of the milking regime in some farms :shock:


    this hasn't got anything to do with cheese production has it :!: :roll:


    ...OK, I'm leaving
    _________________________


    Errrrrrmmmmmm..........
  • Hell knows, I never made this up, its an old joke heard years ago from a mate, made me laugh at the time too. Glad it helped break the ice Popette, did any of the assembled party throng offer to "test drive" Ermintrude?
    I also read (probably in Viz which means it must be true) that prisoners detained on her majestys pleasure (oh the irony) are all keen to get gardening duties, so that they can collect jars of worms..... :shock:
  • popettepopette Posts: 2,089
    we went on to talk about how on farms they have lady horses called the teaser mares who are there just to excite the men horses but they don't ever get any action as the man horse is then "introduced" to another unsuspecting female at the vital moment.
    Being a teaser mare must be the worst ever job.

    I must have been a bit tipsy because I resolved to make myself a paper mache head and claim to be frank sidebottoms sister, do tours of timperley and thus avoid going back to work when my maternity leave is over.
  • rgismergisme Posts: 1,598
    Well, to resurrect this topic for a moment, it's just as well he wasn't doing it in a hotel room in Indonesia :!: :

    "In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation " :o according to the beeb: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7081038.stm
  • Sorry to resurrect this one, but did you see that the guy has been convicted and sentenced?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

    Sex offenders register for three years! FFS!

    I mean, it's not something I approve/condone or even understand, but how has a crime been committed? It was in his own, locked, private room with an inanimate object. Can somebody explain this for me?
    I was only joking when I said
    by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed
  • BronzieBronzie Posts: 4,927
    Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink

    Presumably, he thought the bike had consented to sex?
  • rgismergisme Posts: 1,598
    Well, I just think it's a disgrace.. that he was convicted and sentenced at all! I mean, according the report he was in a locked room, the cleaners let themselves in with a pass key. Is it his fault they intruded at a 'private moment'? :D
  • hammeritehammerite Posts: 3,408
    I'm quite shocked by the BBCs coverage, usually they don't publish photos of the victim in crimes like this, but here they clearly have

    _44239536_bike203.jpg

    :lol:
  • PorgyPorgy Posts: 4,558
    hammerite wrote:
    I'm quite shocked by the BBCs coverage, usually they don't publish photos of the victim in crimes like this, but here they clearly have

    _44239536_bike203.jpg

    :lol:

    I don;t think that is the actual bike - when I read the article I was amused that they had included a picture of a bike - just in case anyone didn;t know what a bike looked like. :?
  • chewachewa Posts: 164
    That bike is clearly "asking for it" - no mudguards lol!

    Anyway reason he's on the sex offenders register is presumably because they found photos of bikes with stabilisers on his pc.

    Ridiculous, if he'd been having a sherman would there have been this fuss?
    plus je vois les hommes, plus j'admire les chiens

    Black 531c tourer
    FCN 7
    While dahn saff Dahon Speed 6 FCN 11!!!
    Also 1964 Flying Scot Continental
    1995 Cinelli Supercorsa (columbus slx)
    BTwin Rockrider 8.1
    Unicycle
    Couple of others!
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