Oneupmanship

Mike Willcox1

So you are riding along on your own and you either catch someone or they catch you. What do you say to get one up on the other rider who looks fit and fast?

If they say they have been riding for two hours then you could say

1) You've ridden for three

2) You rode 200 miles yesterday

3) You only started riding a bike two weeks ago

4) You've got the flu

5) Your knee hurts.

I'm looking for a bit of originality. Anyone got any suggestions?

dangerousjules

'just getting over a vasectomy from this morning!!!!!!!!

CHRISNOIR

If it's afternoon greet them with a cheery "Morning!" If they correct you, glance at your watch with a surprised look and mutter "Blimey. Already..."

Shadowduck

If I pass anyone on my clunky old Claud Butler with the downtube shifters I don't need to say anything. They're one-upped already!

SteveR_100Milers

I like number 3. It would be even more convincing if you were riding some knackered old touring bike with panniers on it full of bricks.....

duckiciao

'I'm faster going up hills than I am going down 'em'

trailtrash

Keep a John O'Groats - Lands End sponsorship form in your pocket and ask them for a donation!

Bronzie

Tell them your pacemaker maxes out at 170bpm

nick hanson

"Just on my way home off a twelve hour night/day shift,(delete according to time)labouring for three gangs of brickies"

nick hanson

"this new prosthetic leg's taking a bit of getting used to"

Alex_Simmons/RST

nick hanson wrote:

"this new prosthetic leg's taking a bit of getting used to"

I'm actually hoping to use that one before too much longer....

Panter

CHRISNOIR wrote:

If it's afternoon greet them with a cheery "Morning!" If they correct you, glance at your watch with a surprised look and mutter "Blimey. Already..."

PMSL

Alex_Simmons/RST

http://fatcyclist.spaces.live.com/Blog/ ... 1598.entry

HungryCol

I like the catch up to cyclist on a banger of a bike, preferably in a business suit, saying something like "I really must get my flat tyre fixed, it's really slowing me down"

Shadowduck

HungryCol wrote:

I like the catch up to cyclist on a banger of a bike, preferably in a business suit, saying something like "I really must get my flat tyre fixed, it's really slowing me down"

I am that guy on the beater bike, though usually in t-shirt, combats and hiking boots. Not that it happens often, but I always allow myself a slight smile when I pass a vision in lycra riding an expensive bike.* Nice to know it works both ways...

*Yes, I know he might have done a lot more distance than me. Your guy on the banger might have done a lot more distance than you.

HungryCol

Shadowduck wrote:

HungryCol wrote:

I like the catch up to cyclist on a banger of a bike, preferably in a business suit, saying something like "I really must get my flat tyre fixed, it's really slowing me down"

I am that guy on the beater bike, though usually in t-shirt, combats and hiking boots. Not that it happens often, but I always allow myself a slight smile when I pass a vision in lycra riding an expensive bike.* Nice to know it works both ways...

*Yes, I know he might have done a lot more distance than me. Your guy on the banger might have done a lot more distance than you.

Sorry for the confusion. I sould have worded it better. I like the idea of me on a banger of a bike in a business suit catching up (and I don't mean at traffic lights) with a lycra clad cyclist on an uber expennie carbon bike and I say, "I really must get the flat tyre fixed on this bike cos it's really slowing me down"

(Insert your astrix note here)

Shadowduck

Ahhh... Now I understand. *slaps forehead*

My apologies, I'm seeing snobbery where only inverse snobbery* exists.

* My favourite kind.**
** Once you get in the habit of footnoting, it's hard to stop. Much neater than brackets.