Cycling Fear

mogrigg

Whilst not new to cycling, as used to to lots of UK and Abroad touring when I was younger, I've not cycled properly on road for some years (and when I have it's been a mixture of hopping on/off roads and cycle paths with a hybrid).

Wanting now to regain my enjoyment of cycling (with a lovely brand new road bike) my boyfriend, who is not a cyclist, is less than enthusiastic :x and tends to comment on about the fears and dangers of cycling.

Whilst I tell him to &*$@ off, stating that I'm a confident rider, used to cars, the road etc.. which I know I am, inside it's totally knocked my confidence and have secretly become very scared and fearful of taking this step into a sport/past time, that I know I enjoy.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated .

spasypaddy

i had an accident, (1st June) quite a serious one that landed me in hospital for three days and needing an operation on my knee. 6 weeks later i was back out on my bike in the park. All i'd been thinking about since my operation was getting back on my bike. When i eventually got back out on the roads i took it carefully, stuck to quiet roads, and didn't go at any serious speed. 2 weeks after that i was back properly, cycling about as normal. I've now been commuting to and from work for a good 3 or 4 weeks.

So here are my pointers:
Find some quiet roads to start with so you get used to riding on the road with occasional traffic,
Early evening is a good time when people are eating supper and not in their cars
Progress slowly and at a rate that you feel confident about until you are happy on roads again.

steve23

hmm this is a tough one!!!

maybe if you start to use a less busy road in your area, then build up from there!!! once your out in the lanes, is fantastic as there are hardly any cars at all!

ride on roads that you are comfortable with, and that you know well. get your confidence back by riding on roads like these.

finally, i would properly talk to your boyfriend about your love for your cycling, and that he doesnt help matters by saying what he does!!! dont be put off, build up slowly and youll be fine!

most of all, enjoy it!!!

mrushton

mogrigg wrote:

Whilst not new to cycling, as used to to lots of UK and Abroad touring when I was younger, I've not cycled properly on road for some years (and when I have it's been a mixture of hopping on/off roads and cycle paths with a hybrid).

Wanting now to regain my enjoyment of cycling (with a lovely brand new road bike) my boyfriend, who is not a cyclist, is less than enthusiastic :x and tends to comment on about the fears and dangers of cycling.

Whilst I tell him to &*$@ off, stating that I'm a confident rider, used to cars, the road etc.. which I know I am, inside it's totally knocked my confidence and have secretly become very scared and fearful of taking this step into a sport/past time, that I know I enjoy.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated .

Does he drive? point out how many motorists are killed/injured every day/week/year in the UK. Of course cycling is dangerous, so can crossing the road. People are killed every year changing a lightbulb - so you have to be sensible. If your boyfriend drive at 100mph then it becomes dangerous whereas if he drives sensibly, allowing for traffic etc, he is far safer. So if you cycle sensibly but assertively you should be OK. Are you sure it is the cycling he worries about and not some 'control' issue about you on a bike. Some people can get funny about partners doing solo things

Crapaud

Sundays are also nice and quiet, especially the mornings, for a longer ride. You could also consider joining a cycling group - riding with others who are confident in traffic will help to allay any fears and you can see first-hand how they deal with / ride in traffic. The CTC, for example sometimes have easy rides that don't cover a great distance at a great speed. The one I go out with occassionally also has a womens group (described to me as a series of cake stops punctuated by short bursts of cycling).

giant_man

Sorry but it's just something you have to do, get on that bike and get out there! It sounds harsh but you really got to do it, and of course you will only do it if YOU really want to do it.

Forget your boyfriend as it sounds he won't be any help to you, do it on your own, once you do you won't look back.

Good luck with it.

ut_och_cykla

Mmm... deal with the boyfreind first, then your cycling. Otherwise it'll be a self- fulfilling prophecy - you'll be so worried about cycling carefully you won't!!

And the first time you so much as bump your shin against the front cog :oops: it'll be "there you are I told you so!!"

Having said that, spend some time getting to know your bike and handling skills on quiet roads and perhaps find some cycling colleagues to keep you company.

In 2000 I cycled from Gibraltar to Skagen in Denmark. Hubby stayed at home with kids. He wasn't happy about it but was graciuos enough to give me space and support to do it.

Be brave but not foolish. Take things one step at a time and perhaps find a bloke who likes ccyling!!

top_bhoy

In the first instance, I'd go to a quiet park and just cycle to get used to handling the bike again. Then as suggested, maybe try and find a few other people to cycle with at quiet times on the road. After a few such outings you should be able to have the confidence to get out by yourself.

I think its a case of building up confidence again in stages. You did it before and you KNOW you can do it again. At some point also, have a word with your boyfriend to stop knocking you and your confidence or you'll find someone who supports you in what you want to achieve!!! I'm sure he is worried about you when your on the bike but if you never left the house would there be much fun in life?

pw1brown

I agree with the view that quiet roads will help - and some cycle paths are fine too. Work out some regular routes that won't give you stress, and get out there.

If there's a bit on busier roads here and there, that's good too - you'll start getting used to them.

xio

I'd have thought the usual "withholding of favours" approach would bring him round to your point of view fairly quickly...

mogrigg

Thank you everybody for your comments, support and advice. I shall take it all on board in my new found enjoyment of cycling. The BF however is for keeps so I'll just have to work on him . Maybe somehow turn it around and get him into it too!!!!

As Top_Bhoy said, I KNOW I can do it. I'm now getting excited on my next ride on my new bike - Now I just need to get it!!! Off to the shops then. .

Your encouragement has certainly given my confidence a boost already.

Thank you.

I'll keep you posted on my progress!

mea00csf

Wonder why the boyfriend's being so negative?? I'm wondering if maybe he's never learnt to ride a bike?? Just seems an incredibly close minded point of veiw.

Any accidents you may have are most likely going to be far outweighed by increased health from doing exercise you enjoy.

Dorian Gray

If I were you I'd make an effort to sort out whatever tensions there are between you and your boyfriend about your cycling. It sounds to me like that is as much the problem as an actual fear of the roads. When I got semi-serious about cycling it caused some problems with my girlfriend, who objected on grounds varying from safety to my spending too much of my free time away from her. Because I didn't confront the problem directly it smouldered in the background and grew into something completely out of proportion, that ruined my enjoyment on the bike. At one point I feared my Trek would suffer a dastardly attack in the dead of night. It was only after we had a proper old row about it that we came to an agreeable conclusion about the whole thing.

Sorry if I'm coming across as some kind of agony aunt! (Or uncle?)

Blonde

Road cycling in itself is not dangerous. This is why it is not classed as a dangerous sport by travel insurers, though some do inlude down hill and MTB riding on their list. You are more likely to be hit by a car as a pedestrian than you are as a cyclist. Do some Googling if you want some figures on accidents, 'serious' accidents and fatal accidents. See if you can find the figure for how many miles on average you'd have to cycle before you were wiped out... I seem to remember that it would be more than most people manage to cycle in a full lifetime. Of course as you gain experinece you become a better cyclist and so the risk of accident, despite the fact you may be travelling greater distances, actually goes down, not up. If it's of any help, last year I cycled just over 8,000miles in total. I commuted by bike to work and back every day and rode at weekends. I had no serious accidents. I had a couple of minor 'offs' due to human error and wet drain covers or sheet-ice, but only because I insisted on cycling in crap weather and on no sleep (long 600km audaxes) at my own risk. I didn't hurt myself or the bike in any of these minor falls. This year I have done less bike miles but I have been three times to cycle in the Alps. Before this year I had never done any mountain riding at all, but I did not have one single accident, even on fast 30km descents with hairpins.

Get a copy of Cycle Craft by John Franklin, just for some reminders of good riding technique. Best of all, get out there and ride - there is no substitue for experience. Make sure you riding in the 'primary' position as much as possible. This really does make you safer. Do not let your nerves make you ride in a less safe position on the road and do not let your nerves make you dither at junctions or let other vehicles bully you into the gutter, as that is when you become more vulnerable. It is really important that you feel confindent on the bike, it makes you a safer cyclist.

mrushton

mogrigg wrote:

Thank you everybody for your comments, support and advice. I shall take it all on board in my new found enjoyment of cycling. The BF however is for keeps so I'll just have to work on him . Maybe somehow turn it around and get him into it too!!!!

Tempt him with the idea of fitness, gadgets, bling kit, how it will improve his sex life - all that stuff that appeals to blokes, but find out what his REAL objection is. I can almost guarantee there will be one. You also need a plan B in case he doesn't see things from your pov. Sorry to be negative towards him, but I've seen this sort of thing happen before esp. with cycling.

Blonde

Your B/F should be supporting you in your chosen activity, as it makes you happy, not putting you down or trying to put you off. I bet he wouldn't put up with it if the boot was on the other foot! Does he not have his own hobbies/interests that don't include you? If not, perhaps that is the problem. He will either have to chose cycling too or find something else that he enjoys, to occupy his time, whilst you're out on the bike!

Blonde

mrushton wrote:

mogrigg wrote:

Thank you everybody for your comments, support and advice. I shall take it all on board in my new found enjoyment of cycling. The BF however is for keeps so I'll just have to work on him . Maybe somehow turn it around and get him into it too!!!!

Tempt him with the idea of fitness, gadgets, bling kit, how it will improve his sex life - all that stuff that appeals to blokes

Yes, leaving blingy bike magazines and catalogues around might work... or failing that, the assos girl advert... :roll:

mrushton

if he saw my partner in her Assos kit, i bet he'd want to do some riding :evil:

ricadus

Ah, sounds familiar. It reminds me of the time gf suggested doing some horse riding.

As a teenager she'd been pretty good and had won show jumping competitions, whereas my only riding experience was from childhood summer holidays, trotting along the beach on a donkey. Needless to say I came out with all the excuses about time, expense, and how dangerous the roads are around M25 London, whereas the fact is I wasn't interested and really didn't want to bother to learn.

mogrigg

I think BF's prob is due to not having a bike as a kid and so never got the experience or enjoyment himself. I think he likes the idea of nice calm canal path cycling but not roads due to his own fear, which has subsequently landed on my shoulders. But no more!

I think some new cycle gear may also do the trick! Thanks for the tips!!!

nickcuk

Offer him the occasional break in the cornfields

I have a 13 year-old son who would love to ride with me - and I worry about his safety on the roads. I have found a couple of rides of varying length where I feel happy to take him - a combination of how busy I've found the roads, how wide they are, what speed cars travel on, etc. Maybe if you can find a few different ones that will keep yr bf's interest up and yet feel that bit safer, he'll get the bug and you'll get more rides with him (fnarr fnarr)

Rich Hcp

Get him to get a bike too, nothiong expensive, maybe from Freecycle.

See how he gets on.

Don't nag him about it, let him build up at his own pace on quiet roads.

Start him on short runs and build his confidence.

Next summmer he'll be wanting a road bike 8)

(I personally hate toe paths, I think I'm going to fall in! )

Crapaud

Rich Hcp wrote:

(I personally hate toe paths, I think I'm going to fall in! )

Is this a shared use path - with camels? :shock: (hopefully not)

mogrigg

I don't intend on pushing my BF to do anything. If he wants to join me he can.

Did have a chat with BF last night - needed to get it out of my system and feel a bit better today.

I hate canal/toe paths purely because they have too many pot holes, the paths are so narrow and over grown and yes I also fear being pushed in the canal by some tosser I have to ride by.

I'm now looking for a nice route to take my new bike when it arrives.

top_bhoy

God knows what advice people will give your BF should he ever ask for any on here

Good luck with the new bike when it arrives - what are you getting?

mogrigg

Not having much money - and with my current bike not road worthy I'm having to go for a v.cheap option, until I save enough for a much better one.

I won't say what I'm getting in fear of some well deserved backlash! Still, for now a new (albeit cheap) bike is better than no bike. I'm sure I'll enjoy the ride (hopefully)!!!!

Blonde

If the frame is OK and fits you well, you can always upgrade components at a later date, when you can afford it. Bikes are always ongoing projects!

top_bhoy

I wouldn't worry about a backlash here (and it wouldn't be well deserved) - only the very rich or very stupid (or both ) would have started out on an expensive bike. I remember my first bike well..........it was an old second hand, steel frame, 10 speed peugot with downtube levers which I bought for 50 quid (ooohhh the memories :P )

Everyone has to start somewhere and so whatever bike you get, make sure its safe then get out, enjoy it and ride carefully

Rykard

ditto Top_Bhoy, I am currently commuting on a 10yr old rigid mtb with slicks. i have an old training bike in the garage that I will switch to when I am strong enough, gearing too high.

I keep looking at new stuff, but can't really justify it, 3miles each way.

passout

I 've had more accidents resulting in semi-serious injury in cars than on bikes. I don't think that cycling is any more dangerous than driving... less so in my case.

By the way, quiet (often narrow & twisty) roads can be the most dangerous places to cycle. I think you need to take some precautions (helmet, defensive cycling) but otherwise it's a case of just accepting the risk.

Quiet roads may be a good way to build up confidence for a novice, even if in reality they aren't very much safer. Perhaps cycle paths would be a good place to start?