Stressed out

Totalnewbie

I have a confession - I've been finding my cycle commute so stressul recently that I've been leaving the bike at home for the relative peace of the bus for the past few days. I look at it sitting there and think, I don't think I can face it today...even though the bus takes twice as long and costs me over £50 a month.

I'm just sick of it. I've been cycle commuting (not every day) since May and I've been abused by pedestrians, drivers and even other cyclists for no good reason. I think I can safely assume that I'm cycling quite well considering (a) I've had road training from CTUK (b) I've read Cyclecraft and (c ) I often check opinions on here to see what I was doing wrong, which is usually nothing except existing. What really gets me is the drivers who deliberately try and scare you...

It's obviously had some kind of effect on me because I've been getting increasingly nervous in the mornings before my commute and come 4.30pm when hometime nears...a horrible butterflies feeling. The feeling does evaporate once I'm on the bike, but it makes getting the bike out all the harder when I know I can escape it by getting on a bus, if that doesn't make me sound too loony! Many of you don't seem to mind the constant 'conflict', but I can't seem to stop it bothering me.

Not much point to this post really, many of you lot are so keen/hardcore that I doubt any of you will empathise, but I thought I would post to see if you had any advice. I wonder if the promise of a shiny new bike will help (still persevering with my old castoff while waiting for work to bring in cycle to work scheme, and its not ideal for London traffic really, as my bloke pointed out when I let him borrow it the other day while his was out of action).

mazcp

What can I say, mate? A change is as good as a rest, I suppose. Have a break for a while, enjoy the bus ride. You'll be drawn back onto the bike in your own good time - guaranteed.
Me, I've been forced off the bike for at least 6 weeks, hobbling around on crutches with a broken foot. The bus ride in to work is a welcome break (pardon the pun), but I can't wait to get on the bike again.

lateralus

wot he said. If you're having butterflies, no point pushing it - it's no fun and you don't want to be panicking out there in the traffic. Have a break, and let the bus ride work its magic. On the rare occasion that I get the tube to work, I always find myself thinking that, in the time it takes to walk to the station and wait for a train to turn up, I'd be nearly half way to work. By the time I am halfway there on the tube, I'm cursing whatever reason has stopped me taking the bike.

It's all relative - a few days on the bus and you'll be raring to get back out there.

PrettyBoyTim

TotalNewbie, where does your commute go to / from? Perhaps there's a more easygoing route that you could take?

delcol

i to am new well newish to cycle commute less than a year, i to used to be nerveous about my commute especially a very busy roudabout on a dual carrageway i have to cross its like the wacky races i have had so many near death expeiencies there,.
also what put me off was the shoddy council estate i have to cycle past when you have a gang of around 10-15 chavs throwing stones at you as you cycle past which made me flip. not to mention conflict with idiots who cant drive but seem to lay the blame on you for the retardedness,
i can understand why you might feel put off by your own expierance of idiots out there, but why let them get the better of you if you enjoy cycling then cycle to work save the money, i personaly wont let the knobheads out there keep me off my bike ,.
i enjoy my ride to and from work it gives me that lift to get through the day the lift i need survive my crappy boring job that i hate with a passion,.

and definatly the prospect of a new bike to ride should give you a massive boost,..

i wouldnt go back to using my car to commute now unless the weather is really bad,. but thats just me being soft.

Eat My Dust

Don't let them wear you down, all it takes is a few negative experiences to make you nervous. If you actually weigh all the negatives up, the positives will always win (hopefully). Usually when I'm feeling a bit blue about commuting, I usually buy something new, retail therapy does work!!!

Totalnewbie

Aw thanks guys. I feel so pathetic! But at the moment the feeling in the mornings isn't worth it.

I've tried out a few routes (became a bit obsessed with studying those free maps for a while!) and settled into what I thought was the easiest. Vauxhall bridge is a problem, lots of eejits on there. Going southbound is even worse.

My commute is from Stockwell to Oxford Circus, at the moment I go Vauxhall, past the Home Office, up to Horse Guards Road, then to Soho on the way there. Way back is Mayfair back streets popping out at Hyde Park Corner (which I find better than the cycle crossings), round the back of Victoria and onto Vauxhall. I recently spoke to someone about cycling to work at a meeting who didn't know London that well, he asked if I'd found a traffic-free route to work! I wish.

Hairy Jock

Get a job outside London, get a better life.

hemmy

I don't think your on your own feeling unsafe or deflated with regards to cycle commuting in London. The unfortunate truth is that it is scary! That, I'm afraid is a given, a necessary evil. After all, fear probably keeps you safer than your helmet does. However the feeling of someone making you feel like your in the wrong when you know your not or that sense of injustice when someone else is bullying you with their car, can create enough adrenaline inside your system to make you feel bad for the rest of the day.

Believe it or not even the 'turbo cycle warriors' that whiz past at 100mph, will wake up some mornings with exactly the same feelings of reluctance. We all feel like that now and again.

So we all ride through the smelly, dirty, noisy, and rude sprawling mass of a capital city that London is every day. Yet between our toned thighs, spinning gracefully, dancing across the urban landscape, pounding the tarmac to the beat of our own healthy hearts, we cycle to work like the hero's we are.

And 'we' grow in numbers by the day, 'we', the minority will one day rule and we'll look back at these dangerous times and laugh. And every time some idiot cuts me up, comes too close or generally just tries to kill me. Thats what I do. I laugh. Right in their face...

...it really confuses them and actually makes me feel a lot better too!

fossyant

You are brave enough to commute into London - I'd hate to commute into Manchester, and that isn't half as bad. - My South East to South West Manchester is much quieter !

Try not to commute every day, take some days off - but suppose that depends upon the cost of a few single day's bus transport to a saver ticket.

farrell

maybe it's not for you. Life's too short - shouldn't worry or get stressed about it.

Will Snow

Well, i might be more aggresive than you guys, but i like to get some nice sharp, pinty MTB pedals (DMR V8's work well), some fat tyres and an overreactive middle finger (ahem), and anybody who annoys me gets a lovely great pedal scar against the side of their expensive BMW's (its always BMW drivers...). Hell, it works for me...

Jacomus-rides-Gen

TN - don't worry about worrying about commuting (if that makes sense), I had the same butterfly feelings for a while after a delightful young woman verbally abused me from her car a few times in a 2 week period. Her absolute rage directed me destroyed my confidence, and then it seemed that everyone else on the road was more aggressive to me.

I took a week off commuting (by co-incidence it was also a leave period from work at the same time) I didn't cycle all week until the club run on the sunday and on the Monday I just got up and cycled to work, not really thinking about it.

I end up pining for my bike if I don't ride even for a couple of days, and after that period of unbroken time off I was keen to commute again.

You make a good point about your bike, seeing it in your pic, I don't want to offend, but I would not be happy commuting on it. I'd be willing to bet that when you have a tight, responsive new bike under you, with good brakes and good handling you will feel so much better about mixing it up with the traffic.

The couple of times I did my commute on "Sir Walter" - my 1984 Raleigh Zenith, complete with friction shifters on the downtube, steel rims, dodgy brakes, same weight as me - I did not enjoy it.

Just take a week off riding, don't worry about not cycling, then the next week try it again - you will with any luck miss your bike and miss the daily ride. Then when your get your new bike it should get better anyway.

Good luck

Ngalbrai

I suffered similar problems a while back with a move from London to Sydney, posted about it and got some encouragement. Am back into it now. I found that the greater speed on the roads I use here combined with being the only cyclist for much of my route and daily abuse from motorists was getting me down and making me dread what was once my favourite part of the day.

I took a break, took stock, weaned myself onto it again. Something that really helps (and I know this has been debated to death) is listening to music as it:
Is motivational, and
Drowns out the ubiquitous shouted comments from moronic P-plate kids and bogun scum in their vans who have to shout something as they drive past.

This is of course combined with primary position, always looking, being lit up like a high viz xmas tree, thanking those that arent knobs to keep the good karma going etc etc.

Also second that a good bike you love really, really helps!

CarKiller

Don't let the bastards grind you down.

I know exactly how you feel. I too get the butterflys before my evening commute.

I've been commuting as close as poss to 5 days per week for about 10 years now.

It is most definitely terribly stressful psychologically because you know that 90% of the drivers there just want to give in to their instincts for domination and power, and bully you. And you know that the system will favour them in any incident, and it makes you feel persecuted.

I feel like I want to kill people a lot of the time. I'm disturbed by fantasies of draggnig the drivers out through their windows and strangling them against their windowframes, or kicking their faces in with carbon soled shoes (with nicely vicious plastic closure straps on the top), or getting my car out, brushing off the cobwebs and aiming it at them.

DO NOT GIVE IN!

The more of us there are, the better, and the more of us there are, the more it's likely that people will beging to see how practical cycilng is.

BentMikey

Shame TN, my sympathies. I know what you mean, I used to get this sort of feeling a bit when I first started riding in London, so I understand where you're coming from.

Feel no guilt for taking the bus for a few days, give your mind time to recover and you'll be ready to do it again. Just remember that if they're shouting at you, they've seen you and are then very unlikely to want to run into you. It's hard, but try to let it be water off a duck's back.

Shavedlegs

I think there is a better route, especially if you are willing to double your commuting time. Is it Vauxhall which scares you the most?

BentMikey

Vauxhall is one of the more intimidating gyratories I use.

Totalnewbie

Wow thanks for all the encouragement! I didn't think that anyone would feel the same way. I felt like such a wimp for even making the post. It really helps to hear others say the same.

Bolstered a bit by the comments I read before I left work yesterday, I cycled in today and it was actually ok, only one toot and am not even sure it was directed at me this time. I left slightly earlier and there was a bit less traffic too. I should add I feel no nerves when on the bike so I'm not nervously wobbling about everywhere - it's an anticipation thing only. There is a ton of stationery traffic on one of the roads I use at the moment and I got the huge satisfaction of overtaking it all rather than sitting in it on the bus, which was nice.

I don't want to give up permanently because the bus will be awful when the kids go back to school - they are real little thugs. I only live round the corner from where the last boy was shot in Stockwell so you get the picture...

The bike is a stop gap after my last one was stolen rather than a choice, it was given to me for free - work are currently investigating cycle2work by letting one member of staff do it as a test run, and if it all works ok for them, they will throw it open to all and I will get a brand new one and probably not know myself!

The boyf pretty much said what you did Jacomus - he rides an old tourer but it's much better in traffic than mine - he didn't enjoy his short cycle to the LBS on mine so I guess am doing pretty well to manage 10 miles a day on it.

I think areas like Vauxhall will be much easier on a nippier bike. The bridge is a bit carp because northbound I get hassle for being in the right lane to turn right (I go as fast as I can on that bit which is not very on that bike!) and southbound there is pressure to use a very skinny cycle lane - it really shouldn't be there...BentMikey knows what I'm talking about.

Jacomus-rides-Gen

Good stuff TN, glad you had a better ride this morning. Keep smiling and hold out for that new bike

BentMikey

Two things which make me feel much more confident on the bike are my AirZound and my ATC-2000 video camera. That gives me as loud a "voice" as the cars, and I can toot as much as they do, and I can also then report any company car or bus drivers with video evidence if need be. Best of all, telling a shirty driver to smile for the camera makes them wind their necks in rather nicely and avoids any further trouble.

Totalnewbie

Thanks BentMikey. I'm avoiding getting into the whole camera thing for now (I've spent enough on this cycling lark and haven't broken even with the bus fares yet!) and there is nowhere on my current curvy frame to mount the bottle for an air zound but I'm not sure they're for me in any case; I don't like being shouted/beeped at whether I can retaliate or not.

Another uneventful commute this morning (in a good way), everyone behaved and I was given plenty of room. I'd quite like to go for a full week of cycle commuting this week, which I haven't managed yet.

We had the work summer party and I got talking about cycling to a colleague who doesn't live far from me; she was quite interested in cycling to work and I offered to be her 'cycle buddy' if she wants to try it out with me one day, it would be nice to have a companion and an added incentive. She was so surprised that the commute was only half an hour, I'm not sure she believed me - and it would be quicker than that if I had a decent bike I'm sure.

BentMikey

You know what stressed me in the last couple of commutes? I was riding my upright bicycle for the first couple of times in a few weeks, and got far abuse than when I was on the recumben the rest of the time. Changed back to the recumbent yesterday, and all was bliss again. Recumbents put the s*%ts up drivers, it seems!!!

Totalnewbie

I think perhaps it stuns them into silence, seeing something a bit different!

I sometimes see a 'bent on my route in the mornings, but he's going the other way so it can't be you.

domtyler

TN,

I think I am right in saying that every single cycle commuter on here has had butterflies at some point or another and not just when beginning either. The mean streets of London can be particularly harsh and unforgiving to cyclists. The trick is to learn how to deal with it in your own way, channel it and use it to your advantage. How you do that is down to the individual and takes time and experience but it will come.
________
MERCEDES-BENZ OM615 HISTORY

Eat My Dust

domtyler wrote:

TN,

I think I am right in saying that every single cycle commuter on here has had butterflies at some point or another and not just when beginning either. The mean streets of London can be particularly harsh and unforgiving to cyclists. The trick is to learn how to deal with it in your own way, channel it and use it to your advantage. How you do that is down to the individual and takes time and experience but it will come.

I agree with this, sometimes I still have to go for a nervous poo, before setting off!! :oops:

elinfoot

I find cycling far from relaxing too.Well commuting anyway . The amount of absolute MORONS on the roads and cycle paths fills me with rage :x
Then again when I'm cycling for the fun of it its much more relaxing

overmars

Get one of those POLITE vests.
8)

mazcp

overmars wrote:

Get one of those POLITE vests.
8)

I've got one...and it works wonders!

Totalnewbie

Ah yes the nervous poo! Wasn't going to mention that...but seeing as you did... I really didn't think anyone else would feel the same way, all these replies have really helped.

Cycled in again today, butterflies not too bad as I became preoccupied with dressing appropriately for this lovely weather, typical woman, clothes took priority! Another uneventful commute; I even shared a smile with another cyclist (for the first time ever, you know what London is like!) as we both watched a dozy cyclist sail through a red light and get stuck in the middle of a junction at Vauxhall blocking a bus...

wai

Thanks for bringing it up TN - there's some great stuff in this thread and I think we can all relate to a lot of it.

I tend not to cycle through London during rush hour - it's certainly fraught with lots of opportunities for friction with other road users and that's from the safety of a metal cage, when I have done it. It unfortunately seems to be a requirement that cyclists need to develop an even thicker layer of skin to deal with intolerant drivers and pedestrians as part and parcel of commuting nowadays.

One particular image that sticks in my mind during a commute to work, is of a lady, clearly quite pregnant, cycling into Paddington in heavy traffic. I didn't know whether it was bravery or foolhardiness, but it certainly impressed me. Though if I was her partner, I'd go mental.