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Mountain biking english/physics

Spoony ManSpoony Man Posts: 132
edited August 2007 in MTB beginners
A short lesson about biking:

Laws of biking physics:

1) The 1 time you don't wear armour you is the time you fall off (even if you are just pissing about on a BMX)

2) If you're wearing armour, you can still fall off (and it'll still hurt somewhere)

Mountain biking english:

s**t/f**k/other monosyllabic swear word:

--something is about to go wrong, for example - "Oh dear, I seem to have over shot that last jump and the landing may not be particulaly comfortable" or "I appear to be travelling a little too swiftly and that tree is approaching rather quickly"

String of swear words/longer swear words (such as b*****ks):

-- this has 2 meanings, depending ..:

--- "Ouch that really hurt, I'll try to avoid doing that again in future"


--- "Oh no i appear to have damaged my bike in some way"

-- In the worst cases (usually indicated by a particularly long string) it can take both meanings.

F*****g dogs:

-- "I appear to have ridden through some dog mess and I'm not best pleased"

No I didn't hurt myself (when telling girlfriend/wife/partner etc):

-- I hurt myself but I'm trying to hide it from you so you don't shout/hit/ban from biking.

censored (i don't know the forum rules)
<hr> - the king of all sites (honest)
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