What a big man!

Totalnewbie

Sorry for another Vauxhall post, but I have to get out a moan...feel better once it's out!

Cycling over Vauxhall bridge this morning, when I hear 'that' engine note roaring up behind me. You know, the 'Look at me I'm SUCH a big man because I can put my foot right down in my big penis-extension and make it go faster!' kind of note.

Bearing in mind all the other lanes are empty (there are several lanes, I am on the far right in primary as I am going to turn right) he decides to pass me, on my left, inside my lane, incredibly close, all the while screaming 'You're right in the middle of the lane!!'

I just smile and shake my head in a pitying fashion, because I can see what is going to happen. The lights are red, and he gets caught about four cars behind the stop line. Meanwhile my lane splits off into right turn only, and I sail past him, still smiling, to the front of the lights. Funny enough he does not meet my eye.

He clearly only did this to scare me - he had a whole lane to himself so no need to encroach on mine as he was not even turning right, and I was not delaying him. What a big man, I was SO impressed. I'm going to start riding on the white lines now like he clearly wants me to. Or not.

secretsam

What we need is a friendly copper on here, record the registration plates, then pass them on so his chums can...[fill in the blanks]

Totalnewbie

Shame the police wouldn't be interested as it is, seeing as him wooshing past me didn't *quite* scare me enough to fall off the bike and injure myself.

I'd have had a polite word with him at the lights if he'd been next to me, and pointed out that I had every right to be where I was, but obviously he was too far back for that and I wasn't going to delay myself.

secretsam

Don't talk to him, he's beyond help

There's lots of a :oops: holes out there full stop, and some of them are in cars...

Chriscommuter

Just wave and smile nicely, that will REALLY wind him up...

Eurostar

Give us a bit more info so we can look out for him - car model, colour, number plate, appearance of driver, time of day on bridge. It would be very funny to lean into his window and tell him that his rotten driving is being discussed by hundreds of cyclists on the internet! Word might get around that cyclists are the ants of the road - puny on their own, but ORGANISED and best not provoked! Whenever I go over the bridge I'm on my I've-got-nothing-to-lose despatch rider's motorbike. Car drivers tend to be wary of me, though I should hasten to add I am kind and considerate to all. When I'm stuck in traffic (which is rare!) I make a point of moving to one side so that cyclists can squeeze through the gaps if they wish.

el_presidente

They're all mad

I was happily riding in traffic in Friday night, in the middle of the road to stay out of the door zone while some tosser in an A3 was merrily hooting and gesturing behind me. So I pulled over to the left, let him overtake at 2mph then overtook on the right asking through his open window "what his problem was?" he did look vaguley bemused but I cycled off into the distance and left him to think about what he'd done

BentMikey

Never assume they can work out what they've done wrong. Just tell them explicitly, and even then still don't have much expectations for their intelligence.

el_p, in your case I would have been tempted to overtake the car in front!!

el_presidente

BentMikey wrote:

Never assume they can work out what they've done wrong. Just tell them explicitly, and even then still don't have much expectations for their intelligence.

el_p, in your case I would have been tempted to overtake the car in front!!

ha, yeah!

normally I just ignore them but this idiot really got my goat. So I hared off up the right hand side of the traffic, got a bit carried away and had to go the wrong side of a traffic island... only when I was committed did I see the car on the inside was a police car. Then I had to go even faster in case the traffic cleared and the cops could catch up with me.

Moral of the story; don't get wound up by motorists, it ain't worth it.

domtyler

The only worthwhile response imo is to totally blank this kind of thing, no smiling,waving, swearing, shouting, gestures or any other kind of acknowledgement (which is what they want of course).

Not that I always follow my own advice of course!! :twisted:
________
KIJANG

Totalnewbie

Nothing much to describe am afraid, big silver car that could have been a Merc and a suited up white guy with fairish hair, ten a penny eh. It would have been about 8.50am, I was a bit later than I usually am which may be why I have never encountered this charming fellow before.

I know ignoring is probably best. But it is hard. I fought the urge to do anything worse than smiling on the basis that if he was loony enough to try and force me into oncoming traffic by passing so closely on the left, he was loony enough to chase me and use the car as a weapon if he felt so inclined.

mrchrispy

a syringe (type you get with baby meds) filled with nitromors, just squirt it on his roof while you 'chatting' to him.

Eurostar

I have heard that stink bombs from joke shops work well and can be kept in your jersey pocket! Any occupants of the car would have to flee the vehicle to avoid being sick. They really do stink.

The driver sounds like the typical car-obsessed alpha male who thinks he owns London. I can't wait to emigrate.

secretsam

el_presidente wrote:

Moral of the story; don't get wound up by motorists, it ain't worth it.

Hur hur hur, when I was a lad, someone came up behind me when I was on my bike and honked, to which I responded with the usual finger gesture, and, as it was a quiet road, turned round and gave vent to a few words of wisdom...

...to my uncle, who had recognised me and was just passing on a message from my mum... :oops: :oops: