Johnny Smeaton.
Oldmacdonald
Posts: 926
Twas doon by the inch o’ Abbots
Oor Johnny walked one day
When he saw a sicht that troubled him
Far more that he could say
A fanatic muslim b*****d
Wiz doin what he’d planned
And intae Glesca’s
departure hall
A Cherokee he’d rammed.
A big Glaswegian polis
Came forward tae assist
He thocht “a wumman driver”
Or at least someone half-pissed
But to his shock nae drunken Jock
Emerged to grasp his hand
But a flamin Arab loony
Frae Al Qaeda’s band
The mad Islamist nut-case
Had set hissel’ on fire
And swung oot at the polis
GBH his clear desire
Now that’s no richt wur Johnny cried
And sallied tae the fray
A left hook and a heid butt
Required tae save the day.
Now listen up Bin Laden
Yir sort’s nae wanted here
For imported English radicals
Us Scoatsman
huv nae fear
Oor hame grown Glesca Asians
Will have nae bluidy truck
So tak yer worldwide jihad
An get yersel tae F***
Oor Johnny walked one day
When he saw a sicht that troubled him
Far more that he could say
A fanatic muslim b*****d
Wiz doin what he’d planned
And intae Glesca’s
departure hall
A Cherokee he’d rammed.
A big Glaswegian polis
Came forward tae assist
He thocht “a wumman driver”
Or at least someone half-pissed
But to his shock nae drunken Jock
Emerged to grasp his hand
But a flamin Arab loony
Frae Al Qaeda’s band
The mad Islamist nut-case
Had set hissel’ on fire
And swung oot at the polis
GBH his clear desire
Now that’s no richt wur Johnny cried
And sallied tae the fray
A left hook and a heid butt
Required tae save the day.
Now listen up Bin Laden
Yir sort’s nae wanted here
For imported English radicals
Us Scoatsman
huv nae fear
Oor hame grown Glesca Asians
Will have nae bluidy truck
So tak yer worldwide jihad
An get yersel tae F***
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Comments
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Fugging Aye tae that
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Beasty stuff!0
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John Smeaton died 5 years ago. Death just doesnt have the balls to tell him!!!
Carlsberg don’t make baggage handlers, but if they did……
can of petrol £4.50
2 cans of kerseline gas £42.50
1 second hand cherokee jeep £2500
John Smeaton kicking your ass -priceless
There is no theory of evolution, Just a list of animals John Smeaton allows to live
When John Smeaton falls in water, John Smeaton doesn’t get wet. Water gets John Smeaton
When God said, “Let there be light”, John Smeaton said “Say pleeease”
A unicorn once kicked John Smeaton. That is why they no longer exist
When Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into John Smeaton
When John Smeaton does division, there are no remainders
John Smeaton’s car never breaks down, It’s afraid to
Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears John Smeaton pyjamas
John Smeaton, Immortal?
THERE WAS A MAN NAMED SMEATON
WHO GAVE THE TERRORISTS A BEATIN
WITH A FLYING KICK
HE FLOORED THE PRICK
AND SENT AL QUEADA HAME GREETIN
Once a cobra bit John Smeaton's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
John Smeaton uses his abs to smooth diamonds
John Smeaton does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge John Smeaton
Everynight before the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for John Smeaton.
john smeaton does not have two hands and two feet only four fists
When Eric eats a banana he becomes Bananaman.
When Chuck Norris drinks Irn Bru he becomes John Smeaton.
Apparantley the Army of Islam have issued a statement saying
"We are willing to release Alan Johnstone as a show of goodwill, we do not want any reprisals as a result and please, please, please for the love of Allah, dont set John Smeaton on us. Had we known Alan Johnstone was from the same country as that hard bastard we would have released him along time ago"
John Smeaton drowned a fish.
Death once had a near-John Smeaton experience.
John Smeaton died 5 years ago, Death never had the balls to tell him
John Smeaton dosent sleep, he waits.
When John Smeaton does push ups, he's actually pushing the ground down.
if you wake up tomorrow, it'll be because John Smeaton allowed you to
John Smeaton can strangle you with a cordless phone.
John Smeaton can delete the recycle bin
John Smeaton won a game of connect 4 in 2 moves.
John Smeaton does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge John Smeaton
Everynight before the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for John Smeaton.
John created Giraffes when he uppercut a zebra
Crop circles are John Smeatons way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures John Smeaton allows to live.
John Smeaton once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
John Smeaton can slam a revolving door.
most men wear superman pyjamas, superman wears john smeaton pyjamas.
Lions put their heads in John Smeatons mouth
Reply With Quote
John Smeaton has a pet Dodo.
When Smeaton jumps in a pool he dosen’t get wet, water gets Smeaton
John Smeaton is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like John Smeaton
John Smeaton plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
John Smeaton doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.
John Smeaton once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
John Smeaton ordered a big mac at Burger king….and got one!!!
Everybody goes to Tenerife, John goes to Elevenerife
The devil sold his soul to John Smeaton
John Smeaton once ate an after eight at " hauff seven " !
John Smeaton can touch MC Hammer
John Smeaton CAN believe it's not butter.
When Smeaton peels an onion, the onion greets.
Smeatons calander goes stright from 31st of March to the 2nd of April......No one fools the Smeaton!
Smeaton put 'laughter' into Manslaughter!!!
John Smeaton has counted to infinity. Twice.
John Smeaton does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. John Smeaton goes killing.
The Great Wall of China was originally built to keep John Smeaton out, it failed miserably.
Smeaton once leapt from one of the Twin Towers to the other....blindfolded!
John Smeaton is older than the universe.
John Smeaton knows that Clark Kent is superman with glasses on.
John Smetaon can make plants grow twice as fast by looking at them.
John Smeaton fell into lava once and managed to swim to safety.
John Smeaton drinks through his nose so that he can speak at the same time.0 -
Is he related to Chuck Norris?0
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Yeah, but thats all chuck norris rip offs, and probably someone else before that!0
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Jack BaurMBUK0
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A baggage handler who tackled one of the guys at the failed Glasgow Airport attack.0
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“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving”- Albert Einstein0
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I am proud to live in GlasgowWHOO0
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HURAAHHHHHH!!
for johnny smeaton
Giggity Giggity0 -
Yeah Hard Men Hard Times Hard City..Set about ye!0
