strugling!!

monkeyfcuker
monkeyfcuker Posts: 486
edited July 2007 in The Crudcatcher
strugling so bad with my best man speech, the weddings on saturday!! ive got the beggining and end but the middle is just so damn hard!!

Comments

  • ddoogie
    ddoogie Posts: 4,159
    Good luck with that! Make a crack about your new mother in law and say nothing else :P
    S-works Stumpjumper FSR

    I'll see you at the end.

    You'll see me on the floor.
  • davesnothere
    davesnothere Posts: 620
    my mate did quite a funny joke in his best man speech

    read out a couple of cards from people who couldnt make it, last one went like this:

    this is a card from uncle albert in australia, he sends his best wishes to you both and is sorry he cant make it, but he's 111 today!!!! (make a big thing of this)

    *everybody claps at uncle albert's longevity*

    and then he says ' oh no sorry, i read that wrong, he's ILL

    *cue laughter*
    GET WHEEZY - WALNUT LUNG RACING TEAM™
  • orangechimp
    orangechimp Posts: 1,335
    mention the date, day and hospital where the groom was born, and then say they still call it monkey boy Tuesday, wednesday etc.
    my bikes and stuff http://orangechimp.fotopic.net/

    it\'s only unethical if you get caught.....
  • orangechimp
    orangechimp Posts: 1,335
    or how about this one?

    At this point i would like to ask both M***** and B***** to take part in my speech. B***** will you please place your left/right hand on the table. M***** will you please place your left/right hand on top of B*****’s.....
    Are you enjoying that?
    I would like to ask you both to keep your hands in this position until the end of my speech and believe me M***** you will regret it if you don’t.

    then wait right until the end before you say this:

    Now, in case any of you are wondering why i asked M***** to place his hand on top of B*****’s, I will tell you now. M***** ... as my final role, it has been with great pleasure that I have been able to give you the last five minutes in which you will ever have the upper hand over B*****.
    my bikes and stuff http://orangechimp.fotopic.net/

    it\'s only unethical if you get caught.....
  • JinjaNinja
    JinjaNinja Posts: 1,033
    " A best mans speach should be like a girls mini skirt, Long enough to cover the essentials, but short enough to keep it intresting" Thats what I opened mine with.
    logo.jpg
  • Mad Splasher
    Mad Splasher Posts: 1
    How about:

    now you're married people will say you should think about having children. But I don't know: all that wailing, sleepless nights and vomit - it's no place to bring a child.

    or:

    When "bride" said today to have and to hold it reminded me of their first date. And when she said I will, it reminded me of their second!

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