I will look for you, I will find you, and...

orraloon
orraloon Posts: 12,607
edited January 2018 in The cake stop
Close passed deliberately by some bellend earlier today; clear country road, no other traffic, just being a xxxx.

Thing is, had a personalised registration and a bell is ringing in my mind, I've seen that car somewhere around here before. I live in a village, my usual routes are around and about neighbouring villages, so fair chance that I come upon said vehicle at some time.

Appropriate retribution? Key it, tyres down, paint stripper, or all 3?
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Comments

  • Neither. You're better than that!

    PS I'll understand doing all three, doing it for all of us. Seriously I bet we all want to get retribution at times but it won't benefit us in the long time.
  • shortfall
    shortfall Posts: 3,288
    Next time you see it parked up use a rubber glove to work some dogsh1t under the door handles.
  • natrix
    natrix Posts: 1,111
    Shortfall wrote:
    Next time you see it parked up use a rubber glove to work some dogsh1t under the door handles.

    then superglue a drawing pin there as well, driving pricks finger, instinctively puts finger in mouth :twisted:
    ~~~~~~Sustrans - Join the Movement~~~~~~
  • dinyull
    dinyull Posts: 2,979
    There is an utter c*nt in our street who is oblivious to the fact he given me a couple of close passes now.

    I took great pleasure in laughing out loud walking past as he was inspecting his freshly written off BMW - which he had ploughed into the back of someone else haha.
  • If you feel it appropiate to do something, use something to block up exhaust pipe(s)
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,249
    There's an Audi near me with a private plate of *666*** that actively tried to run me off the road once when I was on a motorbike. He deliberately pulled out of a line of traffic to try and block me, then swerved at me repeatedly after I remonstrated. A friend that was a couple of cars back saw the whole thing and called me to check I got home safely as he thought the guy was trying to kill me. A few months later I saw the same car parked not far from my local. About a year ago he squeezed me into some parked cars when I was cycling. If I hadn't hit the brakes I would have had an accident. I knew where he lived by this point, I seriously considered doing something but resisted for the reasons TM states. I thought about leaving a note saying that with such a distinctive reg number he should be more careful. But I haven't actually done anything.
    If he does it again there is a very good chance he will find me on his door step when he gets home.
  • Set fire to it with fire.

    That'll learn him.

    Or get a lad with a Norn Iron accent accent to tell him that he (Norn Iron dude) knows where driver dude lives and where driver dude's kids go to school. Just so that driver dude knows, like. So perhaps driver dude had better drive more carefully because he'd hate something to happen to driver dudes family. Because that would be a shame, wouldn't it, to be sure...........
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,318
    Veronese68 wrote:
    There's an Audi near me with a private plate of *666*** that actively tried to run me off the road once when I was on a motorbike. He deliberately pulled out of a line of traffic to try and block me, then swerved at me repeatedly after I remonstrated. A friend that was a couple of cars back saw the whole thing and called me to check I got home safely as he thought the guy was trying to kill me. A few months later I saw the same car parked not far from my local. About a year ago he squeezed me into some parked cars when I was cycling. If I hadn't hit the brakes I would have had an accident. I knew where he lived by this point, I seriously considered doing something but resisted for the reasons TM states. I thought about leaving a note saying that with such a distinctive reg number he should be more careful. But I haven't actually done anything.
    If he does it again there is a very good chance he will find me on his door step when he gets home.
    If he does it again!? How many times does it usually take trying to kill you before you get really annoyed? :roll:

    I'm a little disappointed V68 :(
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,149
    Veronese68 wrote:
    There's an Audi near me with a private plate of *666*** that actively tried to run me off the road once when I was on a motorbike.
    It wasn't me guv, honest :wink:
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,249
    seanoconn wrote:
    If he does it again!? How many times does it usually take trying to kill you before you get really annoyed? :roll:

    I'm a little disappointed V68 :(
    I'm a lover not a fighter. If I'd got hold of him in the heat of the moment there's a reasonable chance I'd have swung for him, but after I've clamed down I become more reasonable.
    I did once leave a chap with red lines across his forehead from my crash helmet where I faced up to him and was jabbing him in the chest whilst shouting at him. He stepped back and I noticed theses bright red lines across his forehead, I was a bit angry and very much in his face.
    To be fair I had given him the w@nker sign after he'd cut me up whilst texting. He came after me, cut across the front of me and jumped out of his car demanding to know why I'd called him a w@nker. I told him in great detail. By the time I'd finished with him he told me he was sorry for being a w@nker and wouldn't do it again. :lol:
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    edited September 2017
    Just knee cap Him.

    It's difficult to drive with no knee caps. Or fingers.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • twist83
    twist83 Posts: 761
    Few years back I had some weapon to similar and try and force me into a truck coming the other way when I was filtering on my motorbike (Safely!). Luckily the car in front saw what was happening and pulled over and letting me in.

    I waited for him to get close in his brand new TT. I could hear him shouting out the window. So I used my carbon knuckled gloves and whacked them down and onto his front wing. Placed an all mighty dent in it. Then rode away.
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,149
    orraloon wrote:
    Close passed deliberately by some bellend earlier today; clear country road, no other traffic, just being a xxxx.

    Thing is, had a personalised registration and a bell is ringing in my mind, I've seen that car somewhere around here before. I live in a village, my usual routes are around and about neighbouring villages, so fair chance that I come upon said vehicle at some time.

    Appropriate retribution? Key it, tyres down, paint stripper, or all 3?
    Orraloon, sometimes you need to be careful when dishing out retribution to motorists in case they're bigger and meaner than you, as this well meaning but unfortunate chap discovered:

    CduXMJa_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=high

    I'm sure he's nothing like you in other respects, despite a liking for dobbing in drivers using cameras :wink:
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 12,607
    ^ :D However I'm 6'4" with a bad attitude and rather ugly as well... Mesdames et messieurs, faites vos jeux.
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,149
    orraloon wrote:
    ^ :D However I'm 6'4" with a bad attitude and rather ugly as well... Mesdames et messieurs, faites vos jeux.
    Well I'm glad you got there before someone took offence on your behalf :P
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • secretsam
    secretsam Posts: 5,098
    Let down all his tyres?

    It's just a hill. Get over it.
  • Find out where he lives, wait for his family to leave then set fire to his house with fire.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • mr_goo
    mr_goo Posts: 3,770
    Two options.
    1. Puncture 3 tyres, it isn't covered by insurance.
    or
    2. Pour a small amount of engine oil onto the wiper blades. Water and and don't mix but on windscreens it whitewashes the glass and is a ba5tard to get off.

    Or do both.
    Always be yourself, unless you can be Aaron Rodgers....Then always be Aaron Rodgers.
  • Call the Feds and tell him he's a terrorist or drug dealer.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Go down the local rough boozer and spread a rumor that he's a paedo nonce.

    Someone else will then solve your problem for you.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Sleep with his wife and send him the tape.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • capt_slog
    capt_slog Posts: 3,939
    Get a couple of prawns and leave them in a jar with a bit of water somewhere nice and warm. A week later, pour the fluid from the jar into those air intakes under the windscreen.


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • set fire to his car with fire
    then his house
    then where he works.

    when he gets a new car/house/job the whole ring of fire (see what I did?) starts again.
    and again
    and again.

    He'll get the message in the end.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • What you could do is get your best bike out, put on your best cycling clobber and go for a nice ride somewhere nice. Enjoy your cycling and don't let others affect your enjoyment.

    Yes he tried to kill you/close passed you/or other foul deed. But he hasn't taken your cycling from you. You enjoy it. Does a very small part of your cycling control you? The majority of your cycling is likely to be so much better than those few seconds of a close pass.

    It's a novel idea to get over it but worth it for peace if mind.
  • tlw1
    tlw1 Posts: 21,831
    Go down the local rough boozer and spread a rumor that he's a paedo nonce.

    Someone else will then solve your problem for you.

    Winner winner chicken dinner
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 25,586
    What you could do is get your best bike out, put on your best cycling clobber and go for a nice ride somewhere nice. Enjoy your cycling and don't let others affect your enjoyment.

    Yes he tried to kill you/close passed you/or other foul deed. But he hasn't taken your cycling from you. You enjoy it. Does a very small part of your cycling control you? The majority of your cycling is likely to be so much better than those few seconds of a close pass.

    It's a novel idea to get over it but worth it for peace if mind.
    Saw something similar recently.
    Why let 5% of your day ruin the other 95%?
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • Alex99
    Alex99 Posts: 1,407
    Call the Feds and tell him he's a terrorist or drug dealer.

    Let the Scientologists know that he's interested in taking part in their work.
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,249
    PBlakeney wrote:
    Why let 5% of your day ruin the other 95%?
    I need to think this way more, I just find it difficult in the heat of the moment.
  • Garry H
    Garry H Posts: 6,639
    Can't believe nobody's mentioned a longbow, a splitting axe and a bathful of acid yet.
  • mamba80
    mamba80 Posts: 5,032
    Veronese68 wrote:
    There's an Audi near me with a private plate of *666*** that actively tried to run me off the road once when I was on a motorbike. He deliberately pulled out of a line of traffic to try and block me, then swerved at me repeatedly after I remonstrated. A friend that was a couple of cars back saw the whole thing and called me to check I got home safely as he thought the guy was trying to kill me. A few months later I saw the same car parked not far from my local. About a year ago he squeezed me into some parked cars when I was cycling. If I hadn't hit the brakes I would have had an accident. I knew where he lived by this point, I seriously considered doing something but resisted for the reasons TM states. I thought about leaving a note saying that with such a distinctive reg number he should be more careful. But I haven't actually done anything.
    If he does it again there is a very good chance he will find me on his door step when he gets home.

    Why the xxxx didnt you reported him? you had a witness!!! if they dont take it seriously, complain to the Police Commissioner that will get you a response, most people even if they deny any wrong doing do not like having contact with the Police and will moderate their behavior, its basic bullying, if he has a Audi on a 'plate then he has something to lose.

    My GF had a similar experience (labled up van) went to the Police, then his employer and complained to them too, complete with the Police incident number, a few weeks later he came past her and her fellow club members, slowly and with a couple of meters to spare.

    Unless you have been sh@gging his wife, he ll be cutting up other cyclists too so if he doesnt kill you it ll be someone else.