Spy in our midst...

No, not a communter. Its T47b.

Cleat and I did some unearthing of unearthly things in an underground bunker long forgotten and harbouring undiscovered undiscoverables.

T47b. Double agent. Timoshuk Vasily Perestroikovic Anastasie Piotr Malcolm Smith, otherwise known as 'Bob'. Hired by the Russians to develop the Kalashnikov. The AK47 was a superb weapon of liberalisation for despots and dictators all over the world. No longer bound by the inefficiencies of swords, machetes and horses.
T47b however was responsible for the variation on the AK47. It had a bent barrel (hence its subfix 'b') and could shoot around corners. Unfortunately, the testing of the AK47b resulted in injuries to the user and the prototype was soon scrapped.
The Russians held him in very high regard because simply, if he had no importance, he would not have any exchange value.
After much negotiating for this very high profile spy specialising in the noise, character and frequency of the AK47b's 'bang', the British decided to swap him for a packet of vacuum packed Bratwurst.
As part of the 'severance' deal he was given an eclectic teutonic attempt at cheap transport for the masses. Not a KDF wagon but a rush of blood to a Bavarian designers head - a bubble car. This wasn't a coincidence. In any event, T47b could never attempt an escape from anywhere with any speed or subtefuge in such a machine. Instantly recogniseable and easy to aprehend.

That fine Autumnal day, T47b in late 1947, was reciting poetry whilst standing at checkpoint charlie. He met with a mysterious, exotic, dark, voluptuos woman from Bexhill-on-sea sent by the allied forces to ease him into Western life.
This was the beginning of the end of the start of the finish of his short career and the rest is, as they say - is histrionics. The liason officeress is still attached to the greyed out fragile remains of a once proud bang specialist. Weighing ony 5.5kg's, T47b can easily maintain his 3 wheeled Messerschmidt dive bomber celeste blue motorised trike and continues to work on his Autobiography and his escape from exile in deepest Portugal.

Pre-orders for his book: 'T47b and the loud bang theory' are being taken now. Cheques for 99p should be made out to Pinarello001.