Cheer me up

secretsam
secretsam Posts: 5,098
edited December 2016 in The cake stop
So:
- I have a chest infection so I can't ride
- My marriage is splitting up
- I'm 48, overweight and balding
- I have a tonne of work to do but am supposed to be on hols
- It's Christmas (which I loathe)

What can you wonderful folks do to cheer me up? :lol:
It's just a hill. Get over it.
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Comments

  • bianchimoon
    bianchimoon Posts: 3,942
    SecretSam wrote:
    So:
    - I have a chest infection so I can't ride
    You'll get better.. eventually

    - My marriage is splitting up
    You'll get over it.. eventually

    - I'm 48,
    you could be 58 so you've just saved 10 years

    overweight
    Ride more

    and balding
    hair is sooo over rated

    - I have a tonne of work to do but am supposed to be on hols
    Be glad you have a job

    - It's Christmas (which I loathe)
    more time to ride

    What can you wonderful folks do to cheer me up? :lol:
    All lies and jest..still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest....
  • fat daddy
    fat daddy Posts: 2,605
    (1) can't ride ? Do the next best thing (no not that) build a new bike !!!

    (2) marriage splitting up ... cool, more time for riding and one less commitment

    (3) 48 ??? .you still have 2 years before you are past it ... overweight, dude eat less and workout, balding ? ... best thing I ever did was shave all my hair off, it's just easier not having hair

    (4) too much work .... what is the work ??

    (5) Christmas ... Dudecthe Rapha 500 ... you can do it !!!
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,294
    A man walked into a bar.......



    ....Ouch!
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • homers_double
    homers_double Posts: 8,001
    Did you hear about the dyslexic one that walked into a bra?
    Advocate of disc brakes.
  • mr_goo
    mr_goo Posts: 3,770
    What cheese should you use to hide a small horse?

    Mascarpone.
    Always be yourself, unless you can be Aaron Rodgers....Then always be Aaron Rodgers.
  • Frank the tank
    Frank the tank Posts: 6,553
    edited December 2016
    Did you know?

    DNA Stands for.................. National Dyslexia Association

    Oh and I too have a chest infection
    I am 55
    My wife isn't leaving me
    I have too much work to do
    I too could do with losing a stone
    And I'm not a big fan of Christmas

    You are not alone!!! :lol:
    Tail end Charlie

    The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.
  • DeVlaeminck
    DeVlaeminck Posts: 8,731
    Give it time - in a week it'll no longer be Christmas
    [Castle Donington Ladies FC - going up in '22]
  • secretsam
    secretsam Posts: 5,098
    Keep 'em coming. But hold the comments about "fewer pies, fat boy", I really don't need telling.
    It's just a hill. Get over it.
  • mrb123
    mrb123 Posts: 4,611
    The days are getting longer now...
  • smoggysteve
    smoggysteve Posts: 2,909
    I leave you a gun on the table and patiently wait in the other room.

    Merry Christmas
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,294
    Mr Goo wrote:
    What cheese should you use to hide a small horse?

    Mascarpone.
    How do you defuse a cheese bomb?

    Caerphilly.
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • mrfpb
    mrfpb Posts: 4,569
    What does the cheese say when checkng herself in the mirror before going out for the day?

    Hallo Me!
  • BikeRadarAdmin
    BikeRadarAdmin Posts: 909
    Veronese68 wrote:
    Mr Goo wrote:
    What cheese should you use to hide a small horse?

    Mascarpone.
    How do you defuse a cheese bomb?

    Caerphilly.

    Did you hear about the disaster at the cheese factory?

    All that was left was de-brie.
    BikeRadar Communities Manager
  • smoggysteve
    smoggysteve Posts: 2,909
    Of course I wouldn't want you to do anything desperate and tragic.

    But if you did I call dibs on your bike.
  • mrfpb
    mrfpb Posts: 4,569
    I went to the zoo.


    All they had was one dog.


    It was a Shitzu.
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,406
    SecretSam wrote:
    Keep 'em coming. But hold the comments about "fewer pies, fat boy", I really don't need telling.
    Beat me to it.

    Does it make you feel better if you know I'm 50?
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • haydenm
    haydenm Posts: 2,997
    What cheese do you use to lure bears out of the wild?

    Camen-bear...
  • haydenm
    haydenm Posts: 2,997
    I was walking along the other day when a kid through a big lump of cheddar at my head. I though, 'that's not very mature...'
  • bianchimoon
    bianchimoon Posts: 3,942
    il_570xN.697751191_kyoy.jpg
    All lies and jest..still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest....
  • thistle_
    thistle_ Posts: 7,141
    There's a guy from NCP down the road with a sign advertising the car park. Very plain in NCP yellow and black saying "Santa parks here".

    Amused me anyway.
  • mr_goo
    mr_goo Posts: 3,770
    What do you call a Middle Eastern cheese shop?

    Cheeses of Nazareth
    Always be yourself, unless you can be Aaron Rodgers....Then always be Aaron Rodgers.
  • mr_goo
    mr_goo Posts: 3,770
    Why didn't the cheese want to get sliced?

    Turns out it had grater plans


    I have an addiction to cheddar cheese....
    .....thankfully it's only mild.
    Always be yourself, unless you can be Aaron Rodgers....Then always be Aaron Rodgers.
  • crumbschief
    crumbschief Posts: 3,399
    But you look so happy in your picture.
  • capt_slog
    capt_slog Posts: 3,943
    What did the Three Kings come to visit?

    Baby Cheeses.


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    I nearly fell off my new bicycle bunny hopping over a speed bump in front of some girls earlier if the thought of that helps a smile to spread across your face.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • mr_goo
    mr_goo Posts: 3,770
    Why couldn't the chameleon change colour?.....

    ......He had a reptile dysfunction.
    Always be yourself, unless you can be Aaron Rodgers....Then always be Aaron Rodgers.
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,406
    Well
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    I nearly fell off my new bicycle bunny hopping over a speed bump in front of some girls earlier if the thought of that helps a smile to spread across your face.
    it spread a smile across my face :) At least my mishaps in front of lady mountain bikers have involved something manly like a big crash...
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    I also had a big padlock in one rear pocket and the cable part in another on each side of my spine so I would have had some brilliant paralysis going on.

    I could tell the girls were well impressed......
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,406
    I saw an ad for a furniture discount store called 'Sofa King'. Their rather witty advertising strapline was 'Shop with us because we're Sofa King cheap'.
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • coopster_the_1st
    coopster_the_1st Posts: 5,158
    SecretSam wrote:
    So:
    - I have a chest infection so I can't ride
    - My marriage is splitting up
    - I'm 48, overweight and balding
    - I have a tonne of work to do but am supposed to be on hols
    - It's Christmas (which I loathe)

    What can you wonderful folks do to cheer me up? :lol:

    Be thankful that you are not JeolSim. Read his posts over the last 6 months and you'll see how individuals are in control of our own self destruction and how he has brought everything on himself

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